<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Monster in Me by Sigyn_Hel</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22763524">Monster in Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigyn_Hel/pseuds/Sigyn_Hel'>Sigyn_Hel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Assassins, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Multiple Crossovers, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:08:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>127,977</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22763524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigyn_Hel/pseuds/Sigyn_Hel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Richie Tozier worked at MATURIN. A company that provided teams that were experts in bounty hunting, killing and stealing. They had to be the smartest people in the room and had to be the quickest on their feet. Richie's team were his best friends from childhood; his family. He would do anything for them and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was the same for them.</p><p>When old faces resurface just how far is Richie willing to go to protect his family? What secrets will come out in the crossfire?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fic for the fandom. There are going to be many characters from Stephen King's works show up but not enough for me to put them all in the characters list as they aren't huge aspects of the fic. Let me know how you like it?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie Tozier would say that his job required him to be quick on his feet. It required him to be the smartest person in the room. It also required him to be able to work with a team. They’d been doing this job for about four years now, been trained for six. They’d been tapped when they were all eighteen. It had been a little shocking at first but they’d all adapted to parts of the job a lot easier than others. Although Richie agreed with Eddie in that killing people...he didn't think that would ever be easy. He hoped it never would at least. He thought that was when they would become less human.</p><p> </p><p>His team; his family was comprised of his best friends since childhood. Six people that he'd describe as his ride or die friends. Six people that meant the world to him; if he lost them he'd follow them soon after.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee! Down!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie ducked as he heard a gunshot go off above his head. Watching as a shorter, brunette male ran towards the offender, his hands hitting the floor as he shot up in a handstand. His legs wrapping around his opponents neck as he curled his body down and slammed the other male to the ground hard. Twisting up and shooting again.</p><p> </p><p>"Always a pleasure to watch you work, Eds." Richie said, as Eddie flashed him a quick smile.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie Kaspbrak was his co-leader. His best friend since they’d been five years old playing in a sandbox. Back then, finding Eddie in a sandbox had been rare. The boy even then was scared of getting dirty and getting germs on him. He’d also been a bit of a hypochondriac courtesy of his fucking mother. They’d been together through thick and thin. Richie honestly didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t have Eddie in his life. Eddie was his rock and pillar. While they fought like cats and dogs sometimes they also always had each others backs; they loved each other wholeheartedly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Please tell me you guys have the package.” a voice said in his ear, Beverly, “Bill and Mike can only hold the perimeter so much longer.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Just a moment, B.” Eddie told her, “Trashmouth, you got this?”</p><p> </p><p>“Go get it, Eds.” Richie said, as Eddie grinned at him, “Meet at rendezvous in five.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Setting timer for five. Please be at rendezvous with package in tact.” a different voice said, Stan.</em></p><p> </p><p>Beverly Marsh was in charge of all driving and gadget handling. She had joined two weeks after Richie and Eddie had been tapped. She was the only female in their team and Richie liked it that way. Beverly was feisty and calm under pressure. She was fiercely protective of her boys and didn’t like it when they were scared or hurt. He’d never seen anyone go into maternal mode, as his own mother didn’t do it, but Beverly damn Marsh did. She was one of his confidants in all things. Her and Stan were the people he could actually confide things he couldn’t tell Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>Stanley Uris on the other hand was mission control. With Beverly in all situations to scope out the mission and best handle the comms. He was in charge of the whole team and the mission. He was also their poison specialist. Making their weapons more lethal with just a touch of poison on each bullet or blade. He’d known Stanley since they were in diapers. He never understood how Stan hadn’t dropped his ass after middle school but as the Jewish boy had told him one day, he couldn’t ditch someone who had been there for him his whole life.</p><p> </p><p>Bill Denbrough was who Richie originally thought would be mission control, however the boy had excelled too much in hand to hand. He was more of an asset on the ground. As was Mike Hanlon who had taken a liking to knives and psi blades. He’d met Bill the same day he met Eddie. Bill felt responsible for everyone because of the fact that his little brother had been kidnapped when they were younger. While Georgie was found unscathed it still had effected him. They’d met Mike when they were nine after the boy had been bullied by some resident assholes. Beverly had thrown a rock at them and from there they’d all been besties. Mike was incredibly intelligent. Helping Stan with research for their missions.</p><p> </p><p>Ben Hanscom was their eyes and ears in their missions. Taking care of the cameras and letting them know what to expect. Ben loved everyone whole heartedly. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them. Richie loved Ben because he was actually nice, not fake nice like so many people they’d met. Each person on their team was someone that Richie would die for. He loved his team that fucking much.</p><p> </p><p>“Bill, Mike, head to rendezvous. Eddie will be there shortly, I’ll clear our six.” Richie stated, hearing them confirm on the comms.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Chee, be careful.” Eddie said seriously, “We are getting overrun with assholes.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie would be lying if he said he wasn’t one hundred percent in love with his best friend. He’d do anything for Eddie, moreso than the rest of the Losers. He’d taken bullets for the boy before and he’d continue to do so.</p><p> </p><p>The company they worked for gave them mission after mission. Whether it was bounty hunting, stealing and when the job called for it, killing. They never killed anyone that didn’t deserve it. But being trained from the age of twelve in all forms of combat and technology it made sense.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Bill, Mike and Eddie are code five.” Stan said, “Move your ass, Richie.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie moved back into the room, shooting at another operative.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shit.” Ben breathed over the comm.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Why shit?” Eddie snapped.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie, get your ass to rendezvous <b>now</b>.” Stan said firmly, but with worry in his voice.</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’m trying guys.” Richie snapped, punching the person closest to him, “I’m a little covered up. What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I-It doesn’t matter. Get to rendezvous.” Bill said.</em></p><p> </p><p>Kicking the door shut and shoving a case filled with armor in front of it. He turned around and ran for the stairs. He needed to get to the roof. This was a fuckfest of a mission from the start. And he knew he’d be having words with Went. The reason he and his friends had been tapped had been because of his father. Something he sometimes regretted because his father was a complete and total ass when it came to these missions.</p><p> </p><p>Getting to the roof and seeing his friends as he ran for it. Gasping in shock when he was pulled back; hitting the ground hard. He felt his head connect with the concrete with a painful thud. It hurt like hell if he was honest. Knew it’d have to be looked at when they got to HQ.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee!” Eddie screamed.</p><p> </p><p>Richie groaned as he looked up; seeing Patrick Hockstetter grinning down at him. He felt a cold chill rush down his spine as he backed up.</p><p> </p><p>Richie prided himself on not being scared of a lot. The only things that scared him besides his best friends getting hurt were Patrick Hockstetter and Henry Bowers.</p><p> </p><p>His leg being pulled as Patrick got on the ground with Richie. This? This was his worst fucking nightmare.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’m coming, Richie!” Eddie said, “Bill! Give me the caribeaner!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Stay there.” Richie said, kicking Patrick in the stomach.</p><p> </p><p>He used the older man’s chest to kick off from. Rolling backwards onto his feet before he turned to run. Running straight into someone as he backed up. Seeing Henry Bowers made his blood run cold.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Chee! Please!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Bucky Beaver, look at you all grown up.” Henry said.</p><p> </p><p>Richie turned so neither was at his back. Looking to each of them with a frown on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Too bad you both still look like you jumped straight out of the eighties. Such a fucking shame.” Richie said, getting some distance between them, “Bev, I’m going to need an alternate route for extraction.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Figuring that out as we speak, Richie. Our only alternative is getting Eddie, Bill or Mike on the ground.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Negative. We never give the enemy more fodder.” Richie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“You speaking to the other Losers?” Patrick asked, “While I’ve missed you, I’ve also missed them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t say we’ve missed you.” Richie said, thinking on his toes quickly.</p><p> </p><p>He still had his grappling hook. It would take him down six floors which accounted for two more. He could take the stairs down and possibly hotwire a car. It wasn’t the worst idea but he hated to think about how his team would react. However if they hovered any longer it would become a sticky situation.</p><p> </p><p>“Beverly, get them out of here. I’ll meet you at extraction route beta alpha seven.” Richie said firmly, “That’s a direct order that I’m sure even my father would agree with.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>No way!” Eddie shouted.</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’ll see you guys in seven.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled his grappling hook out and shook it into the nearest vent. Running and jumping off the roof. He hit the side of the building hard as he rushed down the floors. Letting up on the release as he slowed his ascent. Coming to a halt a little above the middle of a window. Placing his gun against it and shooting it twice. He watched it crack before he turned and put his feet on it. Kicking off of it and hitting hard as it gave way. He disconnected the line before he made a run for it.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie, you have five minutes and thirty-seven seconds to make it to rendezvous.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Roger that, en route.”</p><p> </p><p>He hit the wall to the stairway and rushed down them like a madman. His side was throbbing and no doubt would be bruised from the heavy assault it took. Taking the stairs two at a time before jumping over the railing of the last flight. Landing on the floor and exiting the building. Getting out in public before booking it down the street. Crossing it and dodging a car as he made it to the other side.</p><p> </p><p>Heading down two blocks and seeing the helicopter a little ahead of him. Crossing another street and jumping over a stopped car. There were reasons they were trained for two years before being let out into the field. For any slight inconvenience because no mission was perfect. Shit happened is what Went said all the time.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Four minutes, Richie.” Stan said firmly.</em></p><p> </p><p>His lungs were burning as he broke into the empty building that was usually their worst ditch rendezvous. Turning and blockading it before rushing up the stairs. When he reached the fourth floor he heard the door underneath give way.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Chee, you have four on your six. Incoming hostiles include Bowers, Hockstetter, Huggins and Criss. Two minutes.”</em></p><p> </p><p>He growled as he tore up the stairs harder. If he could just get to the roof he’d be home free. He refused to let FLAGG operatives capture him.</p><p> </p><p>Hitting the door to the roof and slamming it shut. Seeing the helicopter as he ran for it. Jumping and feeling hands on him as he was dragged in. The door slamming shut as he sat up; breathing heavily as he saw Bowers and his team break through the door. He laid down as Beverly flew them out.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit, are you okay?” Eddie asked, pulling his shirt up, “You hit the building hard.”</p><p> </p><p>“Feels like it’s going to bruise, Eddie Spaghetti.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t fucking call me that right now. You fucking idiot, you should have let me come back down to give you support-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a liability to have more than one operative in a hostile situation with more than one opposing company operative. If I had done that, Went would have had both our asses.”</p><p> </p><p>“Instead he’s going to yell at all of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’ll get over it.” Richie snapped, standing up and grabbing the first aid kit, “Ben, can you wrap my ribs?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben moved easily over to him; Richie ignoring the hurt look Eddie gave him.</p><p> </p><p>“Did we attain the package?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We did. We already communicated with HQ.” Eddie said slowly, “Went wants us to debrief him as soon as we land in twenty.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just enough time to get my breath back, wonderful.” Richie said, wincing when Ben finishing up, “Thanks Haystack.”</p><p> </p><p>“I agree with Eddie, we should have come back down.” Mike said.</p><p> </p><p>“Y-Yeah Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well it’s a good thing that I ordered against that, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m co-leader-”</p><p> </p><p>“Unless we have to make a life or death call in which I pull rank. That is what my father said, right?” Richie snapped, “I’ll be damned if I let you get hurt because of FLAGG. Over my dead fucking body.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s bullshit!” Eddie said, frustrated, “Like I want to see you get hurt by fucking Patrick Hockstetter? Have you lost your goddamn mind, Tozier? You can’t pull rank like that-”</p><p> </p><p>“Well I did.” Richie said, “Get over it, Kaspbrak. I did what my father would’ve told us to do if it was a drill.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie let out a frustrated noise and went to sit next to Bill who threw an arm around him. Richie tried not to think about that as he looked at the floor. The rest of the ride was quiet as they all processed what happened. Beverly landing them under twenty minutes; all of them filing out as they went to the conference room. Richie kept his head down as to not look at the people they passed. He knew they were late getting back, which wasn't typical for them but it happened sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took his usual spot at the right side of the right side of the head of the table. Beverly taking the one next to him while Stan sat across from him. Bill sitting next to Stan while Ben took the spot next to Beverly. Mike taking the spot next to Stan.</p><p> </p><p>Typically Richie sat at the head but today he didn’t feel like sitting. He felt too anxious about sitting. Pushing the chair away as he leaned against the table. Eddie’s hand covering his in a show of unity as Richie glanced at him.</p><p> </p><p>“You still mad at me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I can never stay mad at you. It’s one of the more annoying things about you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly, the sound stopping when Danny Torrance walked in. He watched his team freeze up at the appearance.</p><p> </p><p>Went was their handler; Danny was their <em>actual</em> boss. When he showed up they knew some shit had happened.</p><p> </p><p>“Losers.” Danny said kindly.</p><p> </p><p>While Danny was very nice and polite, he was also very much no nonsense. He didn’t waste time on teams he felt weren’t productive. He spent the time on the ones that made them their money.</p><p> </p><p>The Losers, SBM, Dreamcatcher and Ka-Tet. Those were his money makers. All others weren’t on par. Went had told them that many times before.</p><p> </p><p>“Danny, always a pleasure. How can we help you?” Richie asked, as his father walked in shortly after he started talking.</p><p> </p><p>“You were due back forty minutes ago. Your team is never late.”</p><p> </p><p>“We ran into a spot of trouble which delayed the arrival.” Richie told him, “FLAGG showed up.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny and Went shared a look as the former jotted the information down.</p><p> </p><p>“Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“Henry Bowers, Patrick Hockstetter, Belch Huggins and Vic Criss.” Richie said, “I got cornered on the roof so we had to resort to another rendezvous.”</p><p> </p><p>“And your team didn’t come back?” Danny asked.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked down and it made Richie pissed as he tried to keep his cool. He hated it when Eddie looked down; it meant that the younger male believed he did something wrong. And Richie hated that more than anything.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve been trained to not have back up if more than one enemy operative is engaged.” Richie said, as Danny smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s correct. That being said, I don’t need one of our star operatives getting killed. No one on this team is expendable.” Danny said, “You can’t help anyone if you’re dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed. However given the circumstances I made the best call I could.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny nodded his head, “The package?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie slid it down the table, “The mission outside of that was a success. We had a few hostiles to take out. Other than that it went smoothly.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good job, Losers.” Danny said, “Now, I need to talk to Richie one on one. The rest of you are dismissed.”</p><p> </p><p>His team didn’t move for a solid thirty seconds out of shock. The amount of times that Danny wanted to talk to any of them alone was few a far in between. Maybe twice a year.</p><p> </p><p>However Danny had had nine, now ten one on one’s with Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee, I’ll be waiting at our usual.” Eddie said, hand on his arm.</p><p> </p><p>That hand on his arm meant that Eddie wanted to know what the conversation was. Richie watched them leave and the door shut after Went left. The younger male turned to look his boss in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really, that’s why you froze up?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him in shock, “How do you-”</p><p> </p><p>“Because as soon as I heard the name Patrick Hockstetter I knew. Is he going to be an issue? Are you going to have to take some-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.” Richie stressed roughly, “Five by five, boss.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny sighed, “You don’t have to be.”</p><p> </p><p>“And yet, I am. If that’s all-”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually it’s not. Your next mission.”</p><p> </p><p>He tossed the file down to Richie who caught it.</p><p> </p><p>“Last time I looked, I’m not Stanley Uris.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not, he put in some vacation time starting tomorrow. Therefore I need you to coordinate the mission and carry it out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Without Stan?” Richie asked, “If you forget, we all put in vacation time starting tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I rejected yours, Eddie’s and Beverly’s by two days. You'll still have your vacation with them, just later.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just stared at him, “We had plans, Danny. It’s a tradition with us, you know this.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you can join them after you complete the mission. You leave at seven tomorrow. It shouldn’t take longer than two days. Co-op, if you must.”</p><p> </p><p>When Danny walked out, Richie had a moment where he wanted to send his first through the wall. Texting his team as he left the room. Heading to the training floor with a storm cloud over his head. He was furious if he was entirely honest. Texting the team leader of SBM as he made his way down.</p><p> </p><p>When he reached the training floor; stepping out of the elevator he was met with a familiar sight. His Losers training against The Party.</p><p> </p><p>His cousin’s group that had joined only a year ago. They weren’t ready for field work and you could see they were all getting antsy about it.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie!” Will said, smiling at the male from the choke hold that Ben had him in.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey guys, I need my team for a minute.” Richie said, smiling at them tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” Mike said, “Guys, back into formation. We’ll run suicides.”</p><p> </p><p>His team approached him as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“We ready to head to the beach?” Beverly asked, grinning.</p><p> </p><p>“The others can except for you, me and Eddie.” Richie said, holding the folder, “We have a mission.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan stared at Richie, “The fuck you do! Half the team is off. They can’t expect you to run a mission just the three of you! There’s no mission control...no one on comms...no back up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately for me, we do.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll delay our vacation-”</p><p> </p><p>“You will do no such thing.” Richie said, “Keep the reservations. We’ll invite SBM to co-op. We’ve helped them out before so it won’t be an issue.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do we have to? Teddy is a fucking asshole.” Eddie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not asking Dreamcatcher or Ka-Tet.” Richie said firmly, “The last time I had Don in my ear I almost got shot. And fuck if I’ll have Jonesy in my ear. I still don’t understand how those clowns got a job.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like you were any better with your jokes when you started?” Bev asked, as Richie glared, “I’m being honest. However I agree. If I have to deal with Beaver or other Eddie in the vehicle I might commit homicide.”</p><p> </p><p>“Therefore, we’ll co-op with SBM as Gordie, Vern and Chris are all nice. It’s just Teddy that needs some toning down.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine. I guess I agree.” Eddie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Great because I already sent out a text to Chris and he said they’d meet us in an hour at that Chinese place we all like.” Richie said, “I’ll explain the mission then.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why does it sound like we aren’t going to like it?” Mike asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Because it’s an undercover assignment for me and Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“S-See that makes me not w-w-want to go.” Bill said, “Makes me w-w-want to stay here and help.”</p><p> </p><p>“Too bad, Bill.” Richie said, “We can’t really ignore Danny’s orders. Went’s, sure. Not our actual boss’.”</p><p> </p><p>“I fucking hate this.” Stan muttered darkly.</p><p> </p><p>Of that much they were all in agreement. Richie didn’t like the taste in his mouth when it came to doing missions without the whole team.</p><p> </p><p>However, he wasn’t given much of a choice.</p><p> </p><p>He just hoped the mission would be quick and easy so they could enjoy their vacation.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Losers meet up with SBM; afterwards Richie and Eddie have a heart to heart.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for the comments and kudos guys! I'm going to try to update again before the end of the night. Hope you guys enjoy the update!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Meeting up with SBM was never that big of a deal. The four boys usually were fun to hang out with. They just usually only did that when it had to deal with work. Richie watched Chris walk in with Gordie attached to his arm. Both of them laughing as Vern and Teddy brought up the rear. Richie respected them because they ran a good team with just four people. Richie couldn’t do it and wasn’t sure how they always managed but they did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie took a seat next to Eddie and Stan. Chris, Gordie, Vern and Teddy taking the seats opposite them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s up, Losers?” Teddy asked, “Chris wouldn’t tell us what was up but I’m assuming you need our help for a mission?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie’s pinkie twitched and that was all Richie needed as he waved a waiter over to order their drinks. When they were alone Richie smiled tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We all put in for a vacation but Danny rejected mine, Eddie’s and Beverly’s for two days to get this done. The others are going down to keep our reservations but it’s an undercover assignment. We need someone to run comms, mission control and be back up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chris looked at Gordie and Richie watched as they communicated without words. Chris nodding before he turned to Richie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gordie can run mission control. I’ll provide back up and Vern can run comms. Teddy can be back up, should we need anymore. He hurt his ankle so he doesn’t need to be on it.” Chris said easily, “Went benched us for two weeks but we won’t say no to extra money.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sounds good to me. Eddie?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sounds great.” Eddie said, “What’s the mission?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie smiled at the waiter when he came back to take their orders. Each person placing theirs before Richie pulled out the file.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s fairly cut and dry. Someone is dosing people at frat parties and their roommates report them missing. They show up after twenty-four hours, alive but raped.” Richie sighed, rubbing his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re kidding, right?” Stan asked, “Eddie did a fucking case like this two years ago-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This isn't the same case. And what happened two years ago won’t happen now.” Richie said, “Nothing happened, okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We never talked about what actually happened, to be fair.” Ben put in, "We just know Eddie was in the medical ward for a week."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because outside of Eddie didn’t die it doesn’t matter.” Richie told them, “If it makes you guys feel better, <em>I’ll</em> go undercover.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’d feel better if neither of you did.” Beverly pouted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I’d prefer that.” Eddie admitted, causing Richie to look at him, “If you went undercover. I’d much rather be the net than the bait this time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course, Eds.” Richie said gently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry, I just hate undercover assignments and I overthink them.” Eddie said, “I don’t want to screw the mission because of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s fine.” Richie stressed, “I’ll go undercover. Eddie will be the net. Chris can you be his backup?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course.” Chris told him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can I make a suggestion?” Gordie asked, taking in the looks of the Losers and how upset they looked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can.” Eddie smiled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe to lessen the stress and anxiety of the mission we can send Teddy in as a utility worker to put up cameras around the party before it starts? That way we have eyes on Richie the whole time instead of just relying on comms and the tracker?” Gordie said, “Tech lab just developed cameras that are so small that unless you knew what you were looking for you wouldn’t know what they were.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s an incredible idea.” Bill said, without a stutter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That’s how Richie knew that Bill was serious. If he could fight through his stutter then he was worried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That would help a lot, thank you Gordie.” Stan said sincerely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll push the order through now. Teddy, can you make sure it’s set up?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Already texting to get the equipment.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ll get it set up by eleven tomorrow.” Chris told them, as the food came, “If that’s good with you guys?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie and Eddie shared a look before both nodding. They all started eating and Richie could tell from the look that his best friend kept throwing him that there was going to be a conversation at Richie’s apartment after this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stayed quiet and watched his team interact with SBM. It was nice that they got along so well with a fellow team; made Richie feel a little better that if they were in a jam they had another team they could call in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Watching Beverly and Vern laugh at each other as they tried and failed to throw food in the other’s mouth. Ben joining in on the game with Mike. Eddie and Gordie were both talking about the newest tasers that the tech team had come out with and whether or not they were actually useful underwater like they claimed. Stan and Bill talking with Chris and Teddy about the company fundraiser coming up in two weeks. Whether or not they were going to attend or not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie didn’t want to but Went made sure that was non-negotiable. As far back as Richie could remember his parents had been very strict about what he could and couldn’t do. Even though most of the time that didn’t stop him from doing what he wanted. Since joining MATURIN however he had learned to take orders. He still had a very small resisting voice in the back of his head whenever one of his team was in trouble.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Namely when it came to Eddie. Two years ago during the undercover case Eddie had been successfully drugged by food, not drink like the intel had informed them. His cover had been blown and he’d almost drowned before Richie had gotten to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All because of faulty intel that had gotten his best friend taken and almost killed. The rapists in that case were more fucked up than the ones in this one, Richie thought and hoped. The ones from two years ago liked to kill their victims before raping them. Sick fucks like that were why Richie didn’t mind undercover missions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Except now he’d be the bait going forward and not Eddie. Not after that last instance. It had been too close. Richie hadn’t liked what he’d become and done when the shorter male had been in trouble. His orders from Went were to abandon the mission and regroup at HQ with the team. That had meant leaving Eddie and as he and his Losers liked to say, ‘No Loser left behind.’ He’d gone against orders and gotten his best friend back. Punishment had included a severe beating from Went and suspension for two weeks. His friends knew about the latter but not the former.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not like it mattered; Went had beaten him for his rebel streak since he was nine. The only difference now was that he was an adult.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’d taken Eddie a week to recover from the event; a little while longer to be around water without having a panic attack. Richie and Stan had worked with him extensively to get him reacquainted with water. Letting him know it’d never happen again. And Richie would die before he’d let Eddie work another dangerous undercover assignment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Richie called for the check Eddie waved Chris and his team from pulling their wallets out. Pulling his own wallet out as Richie did. They split the check evenly and sent it with the waiter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s on us since you guys are doing us a solid by doing this co-op.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s no problem guys, sincerely.” Vern told them, “We get along with your team. It isn’t like we’re trying to help the Dreamcatcher team or Ka-Tet.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re of the same mind with that.” Stan said, “Jonesy and Roland run their teams very...uniquely.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jonesy fucking talks to damn much.” Teddy snorted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A-A-Agreed.” Bill smiled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And we know you guys would help us out if we needed it.” Chris smiled widely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course.” Eddie said, “So, we’ll see you guys tomorrow at HQ?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not if we see you first.” Gordie said, as he and Chris led them out of the restaurant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bev, I’ll see you tomorrow. You guys have a good trip. We’ll meet up, hopefully, in two days.” Richie said, “Night.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait! Richie, can I come to your place?” Eddie asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie just looked at him, “Sure Eds.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Night guys!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie smiled at Eddie as they walked down the street. The Losers had a system each time they had a mission or had to go to HQ, which was typically every day. Richie usually carpooled with Stan and Eddie. Beverly picking up Bill, Mike and Ben as they lived so close together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Therefore they were stuck either getting a cab, which would cause Eddie to have a meltdown. The alternative being walking. It was only five blocks to Richie’s so walking wasn’t going to hurt them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s up, Eddie?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you remember before we joined?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, very vividly. We were literally starting senior year of high school.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, you were tapped at the beginning of senior year. The rest of us joined you later.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Eds, you joined me four days later.” Richie said, raising a brow, “Stan shortly after that. Then Beverly, Ben, Bill and Mike not even within three weeks. Why?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know. I’ve thought about it a lot recently.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What? You thinking of quitting?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie laughed, “Even if I wanted to I couldn’t. Too many hostile people know this face. Your dad torpedoed our normal life.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie shrugged his shoulders; burying his hands in his jacket pockets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, yours, sure. Went always planned on me doing this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can’t know that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do, trust me. It was all he and Maggie talked about when I was ten. Instead of a Game Boy I got a set of psi blades and my first .25. Was learning to use them not even ten minutes after.” Richie said, “Uncle Troy is the one that got me things like that. And then good old Went made sure to break them if I used them too much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I forgot about Troy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah because he got killed in a mission gone wrong.” Richie said, sighing, “He told me not to let the job run my life. Too bad I disappointed him in that too, huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You let the job run your life because you don’t think you deserve anything else.” Eddie said, seeing Richie wince, “Went and Maggie drilled that into your head.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah well when I ruin the best two operatives lives that MATURIN has ever seen that tends to be the speech you get.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah and now your dad is a bitter ass bitch because now those best two are now you and me. Us against the world, just like its always been.” Eddie told him seriously, not seeing Richie’s blush, “Which is another reason I couldn’t leave you. What was going on in your head today in the field? I’ve not had to tell you to dunk like that in almost three years.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was just thinking about some things.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Such as?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie stared at Eddie and laughed softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Eddie Spaghetti, you don’t have to know every single thing in my head. Just because you’re cute doesn’t mean you get a pass.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie rolled his eyes, “Be serious, Chee. That guy was about to take your head off. This is me, showing concern as your best friend. Not your co-leader or teammate.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie stared at the male, “Is this why you wanted to come over? I wondered because I thought Myra was coming over.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I dumped Myra four days ago. I was going to tell everyone after the mission today but that didn’t end well either.” Eddie said, sighing when he saw the questioning look the taller sent him, “She found out that I’m bi. Started preaching to me about conversion camps. Like I’d ever step foot in one of those hell holes. I got enough of that ‘you’re sick Eddie-bear’ shit from Sonia. I don’t need it from the person who is supposed to love me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ve never been sick. Not the way Sonia and Myra always said you were. I mean, maybe we’re all sick for doing this job but that’s more of a mental issue.” Richie said, “My point is that, you’ll do a lot fucking better than Myra.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think for the moment I’m going to give up on trying to date. Let the universe decide what happens to me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You could just do what I do. Enjoy being single.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re single by choice, Rich.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Only because the one and only person he had ever been interested in was right next to him. Eddie opened the door to Richie’s apartment complex, letting the taller walk in first. The curly haired male hitting the elevator button. They both entered it as Richie hit the button for the seventh floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Only because I haven’t met the right person to bet on.” Richie shrugged, “For the record though, I’m sorry that it didn’t work out with Myra. I know you initially liked her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie laughed harshly as they got to their floor. Richie following him out and letting him lead the way to the older man’s apartment. Eddie used his key to open the door; Richie smiling at how comfortable Eddie was with their lives right now. He couldn’t have said that six years ago. Working at MATURIN had given the former asthmatic a confidence that he hadn’t had before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie slammed the door shut before taking Eddie jacket from the male. Hanging them both up on the rack; both of them kicking their shoes off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And yet, that didn’t stop her from turning batshit crazy. Maybe I’m-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stop.” Richie said, putting two fingers to Eddie’s lips, ignoring the feeling it sent straight to his heart, “If you do that self-deprecating shit about how maybe it’s you that turn them crazy I will actually lecture you on the importance of self esteem and love. You have six people who love you and would give their lives for you. We haven’t turned batshit crazy, it is and has never been you Edward Kaspbrak. It is them, it is and will always be them. Do you got that shit memorized?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie smiled, even with Richie’s fingers against his lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, Rich, I do. Thanks.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Any time. Look, not all of us are going to have the utterly disgusting and sappy relationship that Beverly goddamn Marsh and Ben fucking Hanscom have.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Say that again louder for the people in the back.” Eddie joked, as Richie went into the kitchen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He grabbed a Sprite for Eddie and a Dr. Pepper for himself. Taking two glasses down and opening them. Snatching a straw from the pack and tossing it in Eddie’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t take Richie two glances to know his best friend was anxious. And nothing helped that better than him destroying a straw with his teeth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, Chee.” Eddie said, smiling brightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course. What are we watching?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh, dealer’s choice. Don’t make me choose anything else today.” Eddie said, sitting on the black and red sectional sofa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Laying out on the longer part as Richie took a seat next to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I fucking love this sofa so much.” Eddie told him, “Best part about coming over here besides you, I guess.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I feel the love, Eds. Just for that we’re watching Shaun of the Dead.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh fuck, I take it back. I love you. You’re my favorite person in the entire world. I’d build you an altar-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, now I know you’re lying.” Richie laughed, shoving at his shoulder, “But fine, if you’re that desperate. We could just continue watching that horror show?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure, sounds fine by me.” Eddie said, “Although I didn’t forget the fact that you changed the subject <em>so</em> flawlessly from before. I still want to know what you were thinking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie just stared at the shorter male who grinned at him as he sipped his Sprite.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Damn, that tastes good.” Eddie said spitefully, “I imagine this is what it tastes like to one up Richie Tozier at his own game. You can manipulate every single person around us Richie. I know that and so do you. You’ve gotten so good at playing people it’s insane. But you haven't and will never manipulate or play me. I know you way too well even with...whatever the fuck has happened to close you off like this. So what was going on?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just really wanted this vacation to go smoothly.” Richie said softly, “The last one didn’t go so hot.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie tilted his head, “Do you not trust me anymore?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie knew he looked shocked as Eddie sat up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Again I say, you can manipulate and play everyone but me. I know when you’re lying, Chee.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie just looked at the black carpet on the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was thinking about all of us.” Richie said, “How you guys are more like my family than my actual one. How I’d do anything for you guys.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Finally the truth. But you thought about that during a mission? That’s when you chose to think about that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah….you guys are all I got Eddie. I’m not like Bill, I don’t have a sibling to care about. Ben’s relationship with his parents has gotten a lot better. Mike’s uncle calls him every single day to check in. Stan’s relationship with his mom has gotten astronomically better.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bev and I are in the same ship.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah but even then, if Bev wanted to she could leave and actually pursue fashion like she wanted to in high school. And you could look into medicine like you wanted to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’d never ditch you, Richie.” Eddie said seriously, “We said that we were all in this job together until we all wanted out. We made a blood oath on it. No Loser left behind. That is our fucking creed. Our family motto. You have to stop being so doom and gloom all the time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll try, Eds.” Richie said, “Come on, let’s watch the show. We have an early morning tomorrow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie looked like he wanted to argue but thought better of it as he leaned against the couch and drank his soda. Richie just hoped the next few days would go easier for them. They needed a break from all the insanity.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie knows one thing for certain: Fuck College.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie would admit one thing to himself and no one else. He <em>fucking</em> hated college missions. If he had wanted to go to college he would have. However the whole, pay for an education to get a degree that he’d most likely never use never appealed to him. Not when he’d wanted to become a stand up comedian; maybe go on SNL. That had been his dream; not this fever dream monstrosity his parents threw him at to see if he’d stick.</p><p> </p><p>And he stuck alright, better than even they dreamed.</p><p> </p><p>That didn’t stop the little tickle in the back of his head that maybe he’d trapped his friends into doing this job with him. All because his parents wouldn’t dream of him doing anything else but what they did.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okay Chee, Chris and I are in the car two blocks down.” Eddie said gently, “Your code word if there’s an issue?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“This drink is sour.” Richie said softly, as he fixed his jacket, “If I need back up, this drink is bitter. If I think I’ve found out perp, this drink is awful.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okay but seriously, who dressed you today?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I did, B.” Richie told her, “I do have more in my wardrobe than Hawaiian shirts.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>And when have you ever chosen not to wear one?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Not the point I was making but thanks anyways, B.”</p><p> </p><p>Tonight he was trying to make himself stick out like a sore thumb. His normally curly hair was straight and styled courtesy of Eddie. His black henley worked with the leather jacket that Stan had given him for his twenty-first birthday. His best friend putting a tracker in it because ‘shit happens Richie, okay? Don’t give me shit for wanting to know where you are.’ The dark jeans he wore were tucked into some combat boots.</p><p> </p><p>Frats were notoriously easy to infiltrate during rush. Every fraternity wanted all the pledges they could have; all the possibilities at their fingertips. All Richie looked like was another guy who wanted to rush. Heading over to where the drinks were being served and grabbing a drink. He looked at it before heading into the backyard.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okay, so Teddy set up cameras where the tiki torch in the corner is. There’s two on either side of the house. He also has one in the front. You’ll be good, Tozier.” Gordie said seriously.</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie didn’t mind having SBM in his ear so much. Gordie, Chris and Vern was so chill it reminded him of Stan, Bill and Ben.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, I’m Jacob.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at the blonde and smiled half heartedly.</p><p> </p><p>“Adrian.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Adrian and Don are going to kick your ass.” Eddie laughed.</em></p><p> </p><p>“So, what are you doing over here all by yourself?” Jacob asked quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Richie watched the blonde look around; like he was scared he’d be called out for talking to a guy in a sea of women.</p><p> </p><p>“Enjoying the party.” Richie said, being personable, “If I’d spent anymore time in the dorm I would have jumped out the window.”</p><p> </p><p>Jacob laughed, “I understand that. It’s why I joined a frat. You know, Kappa Psi Tau is one of the best frats on campus. We have a bee line straight to the hottest girls on campus.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really? And what about gay men?”</p><p> </p><p>He saw the shocked look on the guys face as Richie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“I-I’m not gay.” Jacob told him, “I just thought you looked like a decent pledge.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie and him both shared a look before the blonde looked down through a blush.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what I thought, Mr. Closet.” Richie told him, “Great party though.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie walked off from him; rolling his eyes as he heard the laughter over the comms.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Christ Richie, we’re trying to find our guy. Not shame closet cases.” Gordie told him.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Sorry. I just have issues with guys that want to shove a guy back in the closet.” Richie told them softly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Drink your drink. You have to look like you’re actually there to party.” Eddie reminded him.</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie took a sip and made a face at it. It tasted like a mixture of alcohol, kool-aid and jello.</p><p> </p><p>“Not good?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at the owner of the voice. The guy was taller than him with brown hair and grey eyes. Upon closer inspection they were contacts. Richie smiled at him as he took in the fact that his clothes were definitely too clean for a college student. His shoes on the other hand had a layer of mud that didn’t go with the rest of the outfit.</p><p> </p><p>“More like this drink is awful.” Richie laughed, “I don’t think the people who made the drink got the memo that kool-aid as a mixer has never worked. And unless you’re doing a jello shot not to just put jello mix in.”</p><p> </p><p>The guy laughed at that, “Come on, I’ll get you a better drink.”</p><p> </p><p>“Big talk for a guy that hasn’t even told me his name.” Richie said, tilting his head and chewing his bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p>“Jamey.” he said, “And what’s yours, cutie?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to need that drink first, <em>Jamey</em>.” Richie said, a little bitchily.</p><p> </p><p>He wondered why his team wasn’t coaxing him. He’d even used one of their codewords. Following the guy towards a makeshift tiki bar and looking around at the party.</p><p> </p><p>He shouldn’t be nervous. They had cameras up and he had a tracker in his jacket. And they were probably just listening. Went had drilled into all of them the importance of listening and adapting.</p><p> </p><p>“So, I see that Jacob didn’t keep your interest.”</p><p> </p><p>“Most people don’t.” Richie told him honestly, “So don’t take offense if you don’t either.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think I might. You don’t even know me.” Jamey told him, handing him a drink from one of the guys behind the bar.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had watched them make it; hadn’t seen anything shady. So maybe he was wrong about the guy? However, his gut told him to trust his instinct. It rarely steered him wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“And yet, I know what I like.” Richie said, “So what’s up with the tiki shit? Don’t you think it’s a little...much?”</p><p> </p><p>“I did, however our president thinks that it’s impressive.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe in the sixties where it belongs.”</p><p> </p><p>Jamey laughed, “You are very...strongly opinionated and hilarious.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just as God made me.” Richie grinned, taking a sip from his drink after remembering what Eddie had said before.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me show you my favorite part of Greek Row.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh should I guess? It’s your bedroom, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, no. You don’t actually get any privacy in a frat. It’s worse than your home if you have siblings.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yikes.” Richie took another sip of the drink to try and blend in.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I thought it’d be better but it’s worse. Which I didn’t think was actually possible.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what you get for assuming.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me take your jacket.” Jamey said, “Trust me, you won’t need it where we’re going. You’ll get hot and want to take it off anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>“No thanks, this was a birthday present from a dear friend. I don’t want to lose it.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s cool. So do you want to see it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Show me the way.” Richie sighed, taking a long drag from the cup.</p><p> </p><p>Jamey only smiled at him before taking Richie’s hand and leading him through the throng of people. The operative keeping the drink close to the chest and keeping an eye on it. Being led out of the backyard and into a small wooded area.</p><p> </p><p>Richie started to hesitate; dragging his feet as the frat boy turned to look at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, this is a little Blair Witch for me.” Richie said, looking at his drink.</p><p> </p><p>It was almost gone. Just a little left but he didn’t want to drink it. He didn’t have any more appearances to keep.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, I’ll protect you from the things that go bump in the night here.”</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately for this guy, Richie was one of those things.</p><p> </p><p>“This drink is really bitter. Like awfully so.” Richie said, as the taller male let go of his hand, “Where are we going?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just a little further up.”</p><p> </p><p>It said a lot that Richie was nervous. He liked to pride himself on keeping cool on missions. But his team had literally not said anything back to him and it was starting to make him fret. Tossing the cup aside as he crossed his arms across his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Look...I think I’ve changed my mind. I think I want to go back.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“And miss all the fun?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you understand what that word means.”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand it plenty.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stopped as a wave of dizziness hit him. Putting a hand to his head as he took a breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I see that your drink is finally doing what it’s supposed to.” Jamey said, “When Randall said that he knew MATURIN would send someone, I don’t think he thought they’d send you. Patrick and Henry have been <em>obsessed</em> with you. It’ll be nice for them to shut the fuck up about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Jamey Flagg. FLAGG operative of the Dark Orb team. This college has been our playground the last four years.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie really wanted to just shoot something at this point. In hindsight it was obvious. Two rape victims so close together stunk of FLAGG’s dirty work. Especially since they had a bone to pick with MATURIN.</p><p> </p><p>“So what’s your mission?” Richie asked, the edges of his vision going fuzzy.</p><p> </p><p>“Kidnap a MATURIN operative and use them as a hostage for what Randall wants from Danny.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which is what? How to better train his operatives to not suck?”</p><p> </p><p>“Says the guy that drank alcohol at a party.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s called a cover, you might have heard of it. Or wait...you might not have because no one asks FLAGG for anything besides to kill people. You’re worthless for everything else.”</p><p> </p><p>Jamey just smiled at him as he pulled his phone out.</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t celebrate just yet.” Richie told him, turning and running, "Have to catch me to capture me."</p><p> </p><p>Hearing the guy behind him as he ran faster. He didn’t give a shit about some stupid ass FLAGG operative. Richie knew he could be fast when he needed to be. And right now, for his team's sake, he needed to be like the goddamn wind.</p><p> </p><p>Weaving through trees as he made his way back towards the party.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds, I really need fucking back up.”</p><p> </p><p>Nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Still radio silence.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing the lights from the frat house and feeling a sense of relief. His vision was starting to get fuzzy at the edges. His limbs getting heavier. He needed to get to safety now or he wouldn't be going anywhere but FLAGG HQ. He'd rather fucking die.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, please fucking answer me.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Chee! Thank fucking Satan! Where are you?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“We’re in FLAGG territory. They’ve been using the college to get their fucking rocks off.” Richie said, “I’m getting back to the party. I need back up now. I’m coming from the woods in the backyard.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We’re in the party. We’re heading to your twenty”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie ran into the group of people. Shoving people out of the way as he made his way to the house.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Chee! Stop! I see you!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie came to a stop and felt a hand on his.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank God.” Eddie breathed, “I was so fucking worried.”</p><p> </p><p>“He has a jammer.” Richie told him, “I got dosed. And I’m fading..fast.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Where are you boys?” Beverly asked.</em></p><p> </p><p>“We’re evacuating now. Two minutes to rendezvous, B.”</p><p> </p><p>“The mission-”</p><p> </p><p>“We communicated to Went that we lost communication with you and he said to abandon it. Locate you and get the fuck out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>Funny that Eddie was easy to leave behind but he wasn’t. God, Richie wanted to knock his dad’s teeth out.</p><p> </p><p>“So this was a waste of our goddamn time. Fucking fabulous. We could have been at the beach with the others.”</p><p> </p><p>“We know this is now fucking enemy territory. That’s more than we knew, Richie.” Chris said, as they made it out the side gate.</p><p> </p><p>A van squealing to a stop as Richie got into the van. The last of the adrenaline leaving his body. His limbs feeling like lead.</p><p> </p><p>“Give him this.” Teddy said, shoving a cup into Eddie’s hands, “Went got the intel on what they used and had the techs whip something up just in case.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie tipped it into Richie’s mouth. The male cringing at the taste in his mouth as he swallowed it. Laying back against his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Who was that guy?”</p><p> </p><p>“Jamey Flagg. I’m sure he’s related to Randall.” Richie told them, “I really don’t like how often we are running into those assholes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Same.” Beverly said from up front, “I’m really not okay with my boys being put on the fucking line. I don’t think I could handle it if you got hurt, Rich.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie said nothing as he shut his eyes. Taking a shuddering breath against Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“I can feel sensation coming back to my fingertips. Go Went, finally good for something.” Richie muttered, “Do we think that Danny is going to do anything about this?”</p><p> </p><p>“That college?” Chris asked, “Doubtful. We’ll probably be avoiding it like crazy from now on.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s so fucked up. There are so many people in that place that are going to need our help.” Gordie said sadly.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, the only reason that shit got revealed is because Randall wanted one of Danny’s operatives captured.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s eyes widened as he looked at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“And we almost hand delivered you to them. I shouldn’t have told you to drink-”</p><p> </p><p>“I was undercover, had to maintain the cover. We had no way of knowing. The intel we had made it seem like an open and shut case.” Richie told him, “Not like a fucking ambush. So don’t start Kaspbrak unless you want to see me get upset. We’re all fine, alive and mainly unharmed.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie had to look at the upsides of this failed attempt at a mission. At least it had been a fucking screw up from FLAGG and not someone like Patrick. Richie didn’t know what he’d have done if he’d seen the male twice in as many days. Eddie tightened his hold on Richie and it warmed the male’s heart. He knew that Eddie had been terrified. The male was still shaking slightly from the left over fear and adrenaline. Richie couldn’t blame him either because he’d been fucking terrified. He was suddenly glad he’d stopped drinking that fucking drink when they’d left the party. If he’d drank it all he probably wouldn’t be sitting in the van with the others. The last thing he needed was a fucking Hockstetter repeat.</p><p> </p><p>Richie flexed his fingers; looking at Chris when the male grabbed the hand. Rubbing feeling back into his arm as he shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“So I guess the question is...what does Randall Flagg want from Danny Torrance that it’d take one of us to get it?”</p><p> </p><p>And really….</p><p> </p><p>That was the fucking question wasn’t it?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Went takes the failed mission just about as well as Richie expected.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for the comments and kudos guys! I'm going to try to update again tonight. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story so far. For those wondering if Richie whump is going to happen, it is. Sooner than you think.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie knew that debriefing was going to suck. He knew Went would be upset, mad even. This?</p><p> </p><p>Well his father was passed pissed and on the other side of homicidal. The mission was a complete failure and it seemed that the scapegoat, instead of shitty intel, would be Richie himself. Sounded like a Wednesday to him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie and Beverly both looked like they wanted to say something but knew better than to talk when Went was mad.</p><p> </p><p>“So you’re saying that you drank at a party knowing that people were getting dosed? Did you want to get drugged?”</p><p> </p><p>“Gee Dad, there’s that tender loving care that I knew you were capable of.” Richie said sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>Went threw a vase towards Richie. The glass barely missing the male’s head as it smashed into the wall. Richie didn’t move; didn’t blink as he stared at his parent. Eddie flinched as he looked at the older Tozier with shocked eyes. Chris, Gordie, Vern and Teddy looking horrified whereas Beverly looked like she could take the man’s head off. Richie tilted his head to the side with a dark smile crossing his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Aw, Dad, you missed.” Richie taunted, his voice as uncaring as his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Went shoved away from the table and shook his head. Eddie’s eyes went to Richie who looked like a fortress in a person. His face was so unreadable even to the younger male that it scared him. Eddie didn’t understand how he was just standing there calmly after having something flung at his head. And yet, the older male was standing bone straight staring his dad straight in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Leave us!”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie hesitated to leave; his gaze going from Richie to Went. The boys from SBM looked like they couldn’t get out fast enough. Beverly following after them even though it looked like she wanted to say something.</p><p> </p><p>“Now Kaspbrak!”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stood up and went to leave; hesitating at the door.</p><p> </p><p>“He had to maintain a cover. If he hadn’t had anything to drink it would’ve been weird and compromised him.” Eddie said, looking at a furious Went, “We have to think about the integrity of the mission in every decision we make. He did what he thought was best to protect the mission.”</p><p> </p><p>“Out.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie shoved out of the room with a growl. When the door shut, Richie watched his dad go to the windows and close the shades.</p><p> </p><p>“So all we know is that Randall wants one of the operatives we have. I needed more than that Richard.” Went yelled at him, “I can’t take that to Danny!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes well, I can’t make intel fucking appear out of nowhere. I’m not a goddamn magician!” Richie shouted at him, “I did the best I could-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie was cut off when Went backhanded him. The sting of it came almost immediately afterwards. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to his dad hitting him. It was the one thing that always threw him off no matter how many times it happened.</p><p> </p><p>“And it wasn’t good enough! We needed something better than this shit.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked down at the table.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, maybe this is my mistake. Maybe I shouldn’t have told Danny you were okay to do the mission after seeing Patrick goddamn Hockstetter.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s gaze shot up at him, “I was five by five. Perfectly fucking fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“You weren’t fine. You froze up when you saw him. It’s been four years, Richie. Get over it.” Went sneered at him, “My son can’t be so fucking weak.”</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to flinch but weakness in front of Went was a one way express ticket to a beating. Instead he swallowed hard and licked his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry my trauma inconveniences you, Dad.” Richie told him, “In the future, I’ll make sure to leave it at the door.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your mother and I should’ve beaten you more as a child. I need a soldier, not a child.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie scoffed, “You needed to be sterilized, the both of you. You beat me enough as a child, Dad. Sorry you couldn’t beat the personality out of me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know.” Went grinned darkly, “I sure as hell beat those stupid voices and jokes out of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked down again as he took a shaky breath. He remembered those particular beatings very well. Eddie and the rest of the Losers just thought he was growing out of it. He wasn’t going to tell them differently and have it effect how they viewed their boss. How they viewed him.</p><p> </p><p>They’d leave and try to drag Richie with them. Richie wasn’t allowed to leave while Went and Maggie Tozier still breathed. They’d rather kill him than let him quit.</p><p> </p><p>“Get out of my sight. Enjoy your <em>vacation</em>. When you come back be ready to work and not be such a disappointment to your mother and I.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him and nodded his head tightly. The burn of tears made him furious with himself. As Beverly so loved to say ‘Fuck the naysayers, they aren’t worth our time or tears.’ Leaving the conference room and looking at Eddie and Beverly down the hall. They both rushed over to him as he put his hands up.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get the fuck out of here and join the others. I need a fucking drink.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think that’s the last thing you need. He just threw a fucking vase at your head.” Eddie said, “And you just...stood there. You didn’t even react. Like he’d done it before.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie I’m not discussing this right now. I want to get fucking wasted. Where are the others?”</p><p> </p><p>“They changed our reservations for tomorrow after they heard about the mission.” Beverly said, putting a hand up, “Yes, even though you told them to keep them. They’re at The Rock now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great, let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re talking about this, Richie.” Eddie snapped, “Your father just threw a fucking vase at your head.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I was there for it.” Richie said, “It’s not a big deal Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it was.” Beverly said, “I wanted to take that vase and shove it up his ass.”</p><p> </p><p>“How’d you know my kink?” Richie asked her, as she sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Beep beep, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>He shut his mouth and shrugged, “What do you want me to say?”</p><p> </p><p>“That you’re pissed or why you didn’t flinch.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sighed, “Went gets pissed like that once in a while and has thrown shit before. I’m getting used to it now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Liar.” Beverly said, “You took that with a practice that I didn’t even perfect when I still lived with my Dad.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you maybe think that our training helped me?”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly opened and shut her mouth before shaking her head. She looked away from him, pulling a pack of cigarettes out. Lighting up in the elevator and being the first to exit when the doors opened. Eddie followed after her; Richie trailing after them.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Rich-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m right behind you guys. I don’t really feel up to carpooling. And after that conversation with Went I don’t really trust my bike here.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked from Beverly to Richie. The taller male straddling his motorcycle.</p><p> </p><p>“Go on.” Beverly sighed, “He’s doing the Went thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Christ.” Eddie sighed, “Rich! Wait! I’m coming with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ride with Bev.”</p><p> </p><p>“I want to ride with you.” Eddie said, as Richie gave him a disbelieving look, “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“You hate when I ride my motorcycle.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah because you have a perfectly good car and you insist on riding a death trap. But that doesn’t matter. What does is that I’m coming with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie grabbed his extra helmet and held it out to Eddie who swallowed hard and took it. Placing it on his head and swinging a leg over. Settling behind Richie and putting his arms around his waist.</p><p> </p><p>“Get comfortable, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>The shorter male sighed and leaned his head against Richie’s back. Taking a deep breath as his best friend started the machine. Revving it a few times before getting pinched in the side for his trouble.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I forgot you hate that sound.” Richie teased, kicking off and starting to drive.</p><p> </p><p>He felt Eddie’s arms tighten around him. Knew that the male trusted him with his life so while his arms were like pliers he knew his face would be relaxed. Knew this from years of letting him ride with him.</p><p> </p><p>Following Bev’s car as she drove to the bar their friends were at. Making sure to be extra careful because of the precious cargo behind him.</p><p> </p><p>He slowed to a stop at the light, putting his feet on the ground. Eddie’s head moving from his back as his chin rested on Richie’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“So I was thinking after a few drinks we could go to my place? It’s closer.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good to me, Spaghetti.” Richie told him, “Any reason you’re wanting to do sleepovers so much this week?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. Whenever I see anyone that works for Randall...I get anxious. You’re usually good about helping that.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie chewed on his bottom lip as he started to drive again. The Rock was their usual spot to drink. It had something for everyone. Alcohol for all of them and an upper level for Eddie, Bill, Stan and Mike to chill out. Bev and Ben spent their time equally between the upper level and the lower where Richie could usually be found dancing in the sea of strangers.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling up next to Bev who slid out of her car easily. Slamming the door shut and locking it as she walked over to them. Eddie’s arms slid away from his waist. Both of them taking off their helmets as the red head in front of them crossed her arms over her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Stan is in a <em>foul</em> mood. Gordie told him about the mission. Also about what happened with Went.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie froze from getting off the bike, “See...that makes me not want to go in, Bev. Actually makes me want to ditch so I don’t have to deal with Stan on a warpath.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not like I’m the one who told him. Yell at Gordie!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie rolled his eyes before standing up smoothly. Deciding that his need for a drink outweighed Stan. Placing his helmet down with Eddie’s. Beverly had already turned and gone in at that point. Richie following after her and letting the music from the club hit him at full force. It didn’t take him long to navigate to the bar. Ordering a drink and waiting for it as he noticed the Losers upstairs.</p><p> </p><p>Did he go upstairs and get the bitchfest over with or did he avoid like the plague?</p><p> </p><p>Seeing the look on Stan’s face he decided to get it over with. The Jewish man would be more volatile if he didn’t. Taking his drink and heading upstairs with a smile to the team.</p><p> </p><p>“What the actual fuck, Richard?”</p><p> </p><p>Oh.</p><p> </p><p>Oh fuck.</p><p> </p><p>He pulled out the real name real fast. Richie felt the urge to just jump over the banister to the floor. This demanded a fast exit. Stanley Uris was not in a foul mood, he was furious. There was a distinct meter of fury that the male got to and he was at his limit.</p><p> </p><p>“Nice seeing you too, Stanley.”</p><p> </p><p>“You got drugged? And your dad fucking yelled at you? I don’t know whether to slap you or dropkick Went.” Stanley.</p><p> </p><p>“Both.” Ben said.</p><p> </p><p>“B-B-Both is g-g-good.” Bill giggled, sipping his drink.</p><p> </p><p>“I see Bill is already sloshed.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“You shouldn’t even be drinking. How the fuck did you get away-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stanley, can you stop.” Eddie snapped, “None of us are happy about the way the mission went.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just mean, he got away while he was drugged, Eddie. How? Surely the FLAGG operative wasn’t drunk.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe he was? We checked him for bugs and trackers before we took him to HQ. He was clean as a whistle.” Eddie said, “Why do you always have to look at our good fortune in the nose?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because Eddie, we don’t have good fortune. Our good fortune turns to shit. It’s why you almost died two years ago. It’s why we all thought that Richie was dead four years ago when he went fucking missing. It’s why we thought he got killed when he took a goddamn bullet to the chest six months ago! Good things don’t happen to us if you haven’t goddamn noticed-”</p><p> </p><p>“D-Down killer.” Bill said, pulling Stan down to sit in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>He stroked the male’s back as Stan took a deep breath and looked to Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry...I’m scared. FLAGG has been showing up more and the last time that happened….I can’t lose my best friend, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not planning on going anywhere Stan.” Richie told him seriously, “Last time won’t happen again. We’re older, smarter and faster than that now. We don’t make the same mistakes twice if we live to tell about it.”</p><p> </p><p>He felt guilt hit him when Stan flinched into Bill who wrapped his arms around him. Mike’s hand going on top of the curly haired man’s and squeezing it.</p><p> </p><p>“I understand, Stan.” Beverly said, “I was going out of my mind when the comm got jammed. I haven’t seen Gordie lose his shit like that ever either and we’ve known them since training. It was really fucking terrifying.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing happened though.” Richie said, “Focus on that instead of the what ifs. We don’t do what ifs, we’re too good for that shit. We’re the best team that MATURIN has, that is a fact. If I start hypothesizing on why I got away it will drive me crazy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Look, we’ve on vacation. No more work talk!”Mike said, “Come on, let’s go dance Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>Pulling the male with him who grabbed Bill’s hand. The three left them there as Richie sat down on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick Hockstetter was the bane of his fucking existence at this point. He hadn’t made an appearance and the one time he did Richie botched a mission in Went’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>If they thought that Richie wasn’t consistent they’d think the team was too. Inconsistent teams didn’t last long at MATURIN. This team was his family and he’d fight for them. He had to figure out a way to make Patrick not an issue.</p><p> </p><p>“Rich, what are you thinking about?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think I’m going to leave.” Richie said, pulling his wallet out and hanging a ten to Bev, “Pay for my drink?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want company?” Eddie asked, as Richie shook his head, “Rich, I can come….you shouldn’t be alone right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, Eds.” Richie said, “Have fun. We’ll head out tomorrow for the beach at seven.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly nodded as he went to walk downstairs. Hearing footsteps behind him and knowing Eddie wasn’t taking no for an answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie.” Richie said, turning and looking at the male.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut the fuck up, Tozier. You were drugged tonight and you shouldn’t be left alone. I don’t give a shit how well tech lab thinks it’s antidrug bullshit is.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not in the best mood.” Richie said, continuing to walk outside.</p><p> </p><p>Getting the night air after being in a stuffy club was one of Richie’s favorite things. It always felt so refreshing in a way most things didn’t. Eddie dogging his steps before getting in front of him. The smaller male looked like he was battling with himself over something. Chewing his bottom lip hard before Richie tilted his head at him.</p><p> </p><p>He opened his mouth and shut it. Looking like he was debating something before sighing.</p><p> </p><p>“Why did Went talk about Patrick?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s eyes widened, “How did you-”</p><p> </p><p>“We heard him yell.” Eddie said, “Beverly thought it was just because of the other day. But Went never mentions one offs.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“No. Don’t Eddie me. I’m not letting this go. I’m like a dog with a bone.” Eddie told him seriously, “So why did he mention Patrick?”</p><p> </p><p>“He just thought it was weird that I froze up when I saw Patrick. I don’t freeze up. I don’t react to things like that typically.” Richie said honestly, because it was partially the truth, “It pisses him off that his son displayed weakness.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at him and seemed to accept the answer. Richie withheld the urge to exhale in relief. The shorter male grabbing a helmet.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds-”</p><p> </p><p>“Nope. I’m coming with you. Deal with it.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sighed and nodded, “Fine, but we’re getting Indian for dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine by me. Just remember to get garlic naan this time asshole.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie put his helmet on and wondered, not for the first or last time, what he’d done to deserve Eddie Kaspbrak in his life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Now that the Losers are finally on vacation maybe they can finally relax?</p>
<p>Yeah right.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie was used to the nightmares at this point. Which was sad if he thought about it too much. He knew it probably said a lot that they didn’t effect him anymore when he woke up past the first thirty seconds. Before he looked down his emotions. He remembered having nightmares at home and waking his parents up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Went’s reaction had been pretty standard. If Richie was upset by them he got berated and punished. Those punishments were the worst. Being locked in a closet the rest of the night with no way out unless he could pick his way out. When he was younger he couldn’t manage it. At the age of fourteen he could. But by then...he learned it was better to bottle it up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He figured it like this. He would never make his parents happy. Never make them feel proud like a parent would if their kid won a game or figured out a really difficult problem. At this point he was sure they were just waiting for him to die so they could say ‘Well, we tried but did you see what we had to work with?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His friends on the other hand, he always made them proud. With each new move or skill learned. They understood he thrived under praise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on, Richie! Breakfast is ready!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had taken them eight hours to get to the cabin. Eight extremely long hours in an SUV with Ben in the trunk because he’d drawn the short straw. Mike had been laid across their laps; their arms acting as seat belts. Richie had been exhausted so he’d crashed early the night before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sliding out of bed and heading downstairs. The sun was up and shining. Everyone already ready for the day as he sat next to Bill.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sleep well?” Stan asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s nice to be out of LA for a little while.” Richie said, “You know I love coming to the woods for the week.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And telling everyone else we’re road tripping down the beach in Mexico.” Beverly said, “Why did we start telling everyone that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So that way if they needed to tell us a mission they’d go to the wrong place and leave us the fuck alone.” Eddie said, pouring orange juice and coffee for Richie, “Do you want creamer this morning, Chee?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No thanks. I want all the caffeine possible. Then I may go sit in the hot tub. I have a kink in my neck from yesterday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Want me to work it out?” Mike asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please?” Richie asked, “I can’t turn my head to the left.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mike went behind Richie and started working on the muscle. And this is what he loved about his team. They all loved each other and hated when any of them were in pain. Anything they could do to help they’d do it. Eddie putting the drinks in front of him before going to make him a plate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Eds, I can get it in a sec.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I got it, Rich.” Eddie said, “You’ve had a rough couple of days.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You have too.” Richie told him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And yet, I’m pulling best friend rank. Sorry, better luck next time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie should know better but he still argued. Eddie only babied him like this when he was worried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hearing a pop in his neck as the kink gave way. He groaned low in his throat as Mike laughed softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Better?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie popping his neck as he smiled at Mike thankfully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So much.” Richie confirmed, “Thank you guys for making breakfast. I was more tired than I thought.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We f-f-figured you were. You p-p-passed out at like eight last night. If we had put up p-a-party rules last night you would have been fucked.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good thing we didn’t.” Richie said, playing with the rim of the coffee mug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He couldn’t stop thinking about the last mission. Jamey could have caught him. Richie knew, looking back at it, that he had stumbled a lot more than he should have. That he was slower than he usually was. So the question was...why did he let him go?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And why did that question scare him. It confused him and he didn’t like that feeling either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked at the black liquid before standing up and heading outside. Ignoring his name being called as he went to the porch out back. Leaning against the banister and staring out at the woods. He felt so on edge that he didn’t like sitting around. And he wasn’t particularly hungry at the moment either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Usually when he was on edge it meant something. Most of the time he knew why, sometimes he didn’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unfortunately this was the latter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Richie, you have to eat.” Stan said, coming outside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stan, leave me alone.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck that.” Stan said, “Leave you to go into that head of yours. We’re on vacation and I know you’re thinking of work.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just wondering what everyone else is. How did I get away? I was drugged. I could feel my legs numbing. I was stumbling, Stan. There is no way that that guy is that shitty of a runner. Not unless he’s brand fucking new to FLAGG.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe he was. Maybe I’m wrong and for once we had some good luck.” Stan said, “I’ve been wrong before.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Statistically...you’re usually more right than wrong.” Richie said, “It feels like they’re gearing up for something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s what I’m thinking about. What could Danny have that would be cause for Randall to kidnap someone to try and get it from him? We’re all expendable at the end of the day.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not you and Eddie.” Stan said slowly, “Danny has been using you two as poster boys for MATURIN for the last three years. If either of you gets caught and it gets bragged about then that makes his entire brand...look normal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck.” Richie said, sipping his coffee, “I fucking hate not having enough information to make a theory.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Try not to think about it. I know it’s hard but...vacation time, Richie. We literally chose October as the month to celebrate our friendship with each other because we all love this month. This is <em>our</em> time. Please.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie sighed, “Give me twenty minutes to brood?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And then you’ll stop and have fun?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And then I’ll stop and have fun. Promise.” Richie said, as Stan grinned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Setting a timer now.” Stan said, “See you in twenty.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He slid back inside and shut the door as Richie smiled and turned back to look at the woods. At the end of the day Stan would theorize with him but if Richie wanted alone time he wouldn’t push it. It was what Richie loved about him. However, he also knew that if he wanted to think on something to give him the time to think about it. Otherwise it’d be impossible for him to have fun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The facts that he knew, he’d start there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick Hockstetter was back in America. That spelled nothing good for Richie. He’d be loathe to admit it out loud but the other man threw him off his game and for good reason. Those reasons were things Richie didn’t want to even think about at the current time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the same time that he reappears in the field, they get sent to a FLAGG territory college under the guise of two rape victims. FLAGG had set a trap and they’d tripped it. Their operative admitted that Randall wanted leverage for something Danny had. There was no way to know what Danny had unless Richie asked about it outright.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Went would probably find out sooner rather than later after meeting with Danny. The question was would he share? Most likely not if Richie was honest with himself. Whatever it was would probably be under lockdown after that conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So with the facts as they stood Richie figured it would be safe to operate under the assumption that FLAGG would be showing up more often than no on their missions. If that held true then that meant sneakier plans and better contingency plans. Between Richie, Stan and Ben they could think of those plans easily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie’s mind drifted back to Patrick. He wondered, briefly, if his team would hate him if he just shot him in between the eyes. Just took the asshole off the chessboard once and for all. If Richie was honest with himself, he knew it was for purely selfish reasons.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His mind drifting to that time. The time that he felt like he'd never get over...never move past.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hands on his skin—burning, pulling and cutting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hands on his skin—traveling to his hips—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Feeling an itch under his skin that he hadn’t felt in four years as he turned and went inside. Bile working its way up his throat as he felt a sickness hit him like a truck. Putting the mug on the nearest surface and heading upstairs to the bathroom. He’d barely gotten the door shut before he puked. Feeling it come up as acid burned the back of his nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He flushed the toilet and sat with his back against the tub.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>These thoughts hadn’t surfaced in years. He’d fooled himself into believing that Patrick would stay away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Standing up and turning the shower on. He rinsed his mouth out. Focusing on his breathing so he wouldn’t panic. Getting undressed and turning as he got a good look at his back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The scars that crisscrossed on either side of his spine spoke horror stories. The raised pink tissue seemed to mock him even years later. Running a finger across them with a wince. Turning away from the mirror as he stepped into the shower.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His team all had theories on what happened with Patrick. None quite touched the surface of what actually happened. The scars were a reminder of those ninety-six hours and forty-seven minutes. Scars that his father refused to let him have removed. Went thought they’d do Richie good to remember. Remember the time that he let his guard down and he’d gotten captured.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’d been their third mission as a team but damned if it hadn’t been a lesson to all of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Washing his hair and letting the water do its job. He’d learned long ago that it didn’t matter how hot or cold the water was. It’s job was to wash away the dirtiness. That’s how he had to think of it. Lathering soap on himself in thick layers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Richie, are you okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie looked at the door and frowned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah Ben, I’m fine. Just needed to shower.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay! We put your breakfast in the microwave. We’re going to play charades when you get done.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“S-Sounds fun!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mentally berating himself for stuttering like Bill. Rinsing the soap off of himself and turning the water off. He grabbed a towel and rubbed his face with it. Ever since he’d invested in contacts, he’d admit it made his life easier. Even if he loved those glasses his parents didn’t. They made him look like he needed to be in the tech lab, according to Maggie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wrapping a towel around his waist as he went back to his room. Jerking a pair of grey sweatpants out and a t shirt. There was no reason to put on jeans or anything resembling normal clothes. They weren’t leaving the cabin unless absolutely necessary.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Heading down and hearing laughter; seeing Stan and Eddie look up at him first from the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Done brooding?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am.” Richie confirmed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what’s the diagnosis?” Stan asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That when we’re back from vacation we have a lot of contingency plans to make.” Richie said, “No more work talk. Charades is what Ben said we were playing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Y-Y-Yeah it is. We all already got into teams. Stan d-d-doesn’t want to play so he’s g-g-going to keep score and t-t-time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sounds good to me.” Richie said, “Who’s my team member?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Eddie, duh. You guys are making prompts for Bev and Ben who are making theirs for Bill and Mike who are making yours.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How many?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thirty.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck that’s a long game.” Richie said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What else do we have to do?” Bev teased, “Movies, games and relaxation. That’s all that we’ve got to do for the next six days.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sounds amazing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Grabbing a notepad and leaving the room with Eddie to talk about their prompts. They all always picked a part of the cabin to create their prompts just to make sure they had no way to cheat. They went outside and sat on the porch swing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie sat next to him outside; holding the bowl and staring at Richie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So what are we thinking?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie took the pad from Richie and flipped it a few pages. Richie laughing as he saw that the male had already started writing prompts down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I got impatient waiting for you, sorry. I got a little anxious.” Eddie said, as he started ripping them into strips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t apologize for that. Why are you feeling anxious? We’re in our favorite spot in the world.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie shrugged his shoulders before folding each strip meticulously and tossing them in the bowl.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because for some reason you won’t relax and it’s putting me on edge.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie sighed and leaned into the wood at his back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry Eds.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t apologize, just talk to me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There’s nothing to talk about.” Richie shrugged, “I’m just in my head as I do sometimes. Wondering how I came from Maggie and Went when I’m nothing like them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You mean criminally insane and unfit to be parents? Yeah, I agree with that.” Eddie snorted, “I still don’t understand why they even pretended to be good parents.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because before they knew they wanted to tap the rest of you, they had to treat you guys like civvies.” Richie said honestly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I still maintain it’s fucked up that they’ve been training you to do this shit since you were like ten.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Seven, but who’s counting.” Richie said, “In all seriousness, I’m honestly shocked I’m not more fucked up than I am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t say that.” Eddie laughed, “I remember when you used to make jokes like every ten minutes. I still don’t know why you turned your jokes in for bitchy comments.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It would have been easy to tell Eddie about how Went and Maggie felt about his ‘attitude’ but he didn’t for a few reasons. One was they were on vacation and having fun. Two was that he never told Eddie or the Losers anything concerning when he got hurt or in trouble. Three was there was literally no point. Went had beaten it out of him so long ago that it didn’t matter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That and knowing Eddie, the male would make a humongous deal about it and act out on his anger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I had to grow up.” Richie said softly, “Bitchy comments go a little better with our job than saying that I fucked your mom, Eds.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie cringed, “See, I didn’t miss that joke. Some of your voices, sure. Jokes about fucking my mom, didn’t miss it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie laughed and shrugged his shoulders. Deciding to tell him half the truth if only to make them both feel better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Went said that my jokes weren’t serious and that if I was going to be a good operative I had to leave that behind me.” Richie told him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie rolled his eyes so hard that Richie thought they might stay in the back of his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s a load of horseshit. Beaver and Pete crack jokes all the fucking time and they’re still good operatives. Went is just hateful over all things that aren’t serious. He always has been since you started cracking those jokes. It doesn’t shock me he told you to stop telling them. What shocks me is that you actually listened to him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Richie shrugged, “What was I going to do? Tell him to eat my ass because I wasn’t going to change? You don’t say that to Wentworth Tozier, Eddie...you know that. He doesn’t take to it too well. He said it would be good for my career if Danny took me seriously. He was right, annoyingly enough.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We take you seriously.” Eddie said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You do now. You didn’t used to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie looked hurt at the statement as Richie took the pad and smiled at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So what are we thinking for charades?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eddie seemed like he wanted to continue the conversation but stopped himself. Uncapping the pen and handing it to the older male. Richie didn’t want to hurt Eddie however he had to stop the conversation from going further. Richie knew the shorter male and because of that understood he’d start asking the right questions sooner rather than later. Those were questions he didn’t want to unpack right now or ever. No matter how much he loved the younger male or how much he asked.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Truth or Dare was always a fun game to play with the Losers.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie laughed when he watched Stan take a shot of whiskey. The pinched look on his face worth it to him when he watched the male shake his head and pinch his nose. Eddie and Mike following suit right after him. Beverly taking the empty whiskey bottle and putting it in the center of the floor. She smiled at the boys before taking a seat next to Ben. They had been playing games the last three days they were there. They hadn’t played their annual game of truth or dare and they played it a little differently than most people did.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright gents, the game is truth or dare. If you pick truth and want to op out of the truth you have to kiss the asker. If you pick dare you have to do the dare <em>or</em> take three shots.” Beverly reminded them of the rules, “I’ll spin to see who goes first.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly spun the bottle and they all watched it spin around before landing on Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh goody, truth or dare Kaspbrak?”</p><p> </p><p>“Truth.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Boo!” Bill said, rolling his eyes, “Make it a good one, Bev.”</p><p> </p><p>The red head just tilted her head with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Out of all the people present in this room, who would you have sex with and why?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at her as Richie heard the others giggle. Pouring himself a shot and taking it as Eddie looked like a fish out of water.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh come on, we’re starting evil right out the gate?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Kiss.” Eddie said, as he got booed.</p><p> </p><p>Mike and Stan throwing paper balls at him as he met Beverly in the center and kissed her. Pulling back and seeing her expectant look.</p><p> </p><p>“Nope, did nothing for me Marsh.”</p><p> </p><p>“A girl can hope.” Beverly said, “One day Ben and I will score our threesome.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie spun the bottle and smiled when it landed on Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Truth or Dare?”</p><p> </p><p>“Truth.” Richie said, as Eddie’s smile widened.</p><p> </p><p>“What song do you think represents you as a person?”</p><p> </p><p>“You should see me in a crown.” Richie said, seeing Stan sit up straighter, “It’s actually on my pregame playlist before missions.”</p><p> </p><p>“We should have known.” Mike laughed, “That song is pretty much on missions.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shrugged before spinning the bottle. It landed on Stan who sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Dare me, bitch.”</p><p> </p><p>“Careful what you wish for, bird boy.” Richie said, “I dare you to finish that bottle of Haku.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan stared at it, “Oh come on-”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve been dared so it’s finish the bottle, which there isn’t much left or take three shots.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you, Tozier. I’ll get you back.” Stan said, taking the bottle and upturning it.</p><p> </p><p>“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Bill and Mike said together as Stan pulled the bottle away.</p><p> </p><p>The male coughed as Mike tapped his back lightly. The male pinching his nose again as he gasped.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh fuck that shit burns!” Stan said, looking to Mike who smiled at him, “I swear I think my eyes went cross.”</p><p> </p><p>“They d-d-did.” Bill confirmed as Stan moved to spin the bottle.</p><p> </p><p>When it landed on Eddie the male sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Truth or Dare?”</p><p> </p><p>“Dare.”</p><p> </p><p>“I dare you to tell us the answer to your truth.” Stan said, smirking, “Who would you have sex with out of the people present and why?”</p><p> </p><p>“This guy is like a dog with a bone.” Eddie said, “What alcohol would I have to shoot if I didn’t do the dare?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’d make you really boring and it’d be the tequila.” Beverly grinned, as Eddie gaped at her, “Sorry, it’s a punishment Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“Out of the people present? I think I would choose Richie. Because he’d take it seriously like everything else he does...and it’d be my first time with a guy and I know he would take care of me.” Eddie said, blushing scarlet, “Happy?”</p><p> </p><p>“Fucking thrilled.” Stan said, giggling as he laid his head in Bill’s lap.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie watched Bill run his fingers through the curls. Eddie spinning the bottle and watching it land on Mike.</p><p> </p><p>“Dare.” Mike said, grinning.</p><p> </p><p>“I dare you to sit in Stan’s lap for the next seven turns.” Eddie said, as Stan gaped at him, “Shouldn’t have been a bitch, Stanley.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fucked up. I’m laying down. I might be drunk right now!”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re definitely past tipsy, Stan.” Richie said, blushing a little himself.</p><p> </p><p>Richie tried not to think of the admission too much. It was out of the people present. Watching Mike move and sit in a now, sitting up Stan’s lap. The Jewish boy wrapping an arm around Mike to keep him steady as the male spun the bottle.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben! Truth-”</p><p> </p><p>“Truth.”</p><p> </p><p>“When are you going to propose to Beverly?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben blushed and looked down.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure yet. We were waiting for a good lull at work to discuss it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Boo!” Stan said, throwing a paper ball at him, “Fuck lulls at work, they don’t exist. Tie the knot so we can celebrate your mushy, gushy love.”</p><p> </p><p>“And that’s enough for Stan.” Eddie said, taking the male’s drink away.</p><p> </p><p>Stan chased after it as Eddie took a sip from it. The male gaped at him and Eddie shrugged his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“I may be a germaphobe but you hate drinking after people.” Eddie said, setting it down as Ben spun the bottle.</p><p> </p><p>“Bill! If you could marry anyone who would it be?” Ben asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m looking at them.” Bill said, staring at Stan and Mike.</p><p> </p><p>Richie fake gagged as he rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, I didn’t realize we were playing safe Truth or Dare. Turn it up to eleven or get the fuck out.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill spun the bottle and smiled when it landed on Beverly.</p><p> </p><p>“Dare.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay Beverly, you have to kiss someone in this room but it can’t be Ben.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly tilted her head with a smile and shrug before standing up. She went and sat in Richie’s lap, laying gentle lips on his. It didn’t go further than a chaste kiss; she pulled away and rubbed her lipstick off his lips before standing up.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m starting to agree with Richie. Get better dares or stop playing, kids.”</p><p> </p><p>She spun the bottle again and watched it land on Richie who smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Dare.”</p><p> </p><p>“I dare you to make out with Eddie for five minutes in the closet over there.” Beverly said, her eyes twinkling as Richie stared at her, “Unless you’re too pussy to do it. I know you’re a beacon of chastity over there.”</p><p> </p><p>If only she knew.</p><p> </p><p>“Alcohol if I ditch?”</p><p> </p><p>“Kraken.”</p><p> </p><p>“You whore.” Richie gaped, “That shit makes me vomit every time.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a punishment, Rich.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at her and then Eddie who was pink in the face.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s up to Eddie. I’m not kissing him unless he’s okay with it.”</p><p> </p><p>Consent meant everything to Richie. Seeing Eddie’s face as he stared at Richie before nodding his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go, I’d be a shitty best friend if I made you have to take those shots of Kraken. That shit makes you sicker than a dog.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved to stand up; freezing when his phone started going off.</p><p> </p><p>He stared at the caller ID and frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Tozier! No delaying.”</p><p> </p><p>“H-Hold on.”</p><p> </p><p>He accepted the call and walked off from his friends.</p><p> </p><p>“Cuthbert, why are you calling me?” Richie asked, hearing his friends stop talking, “I’m on vacation still.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I didn’t...I didn’t know who else to call. If I call Went he’s going to tell me to abandon the mission but they took him, Rich.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Who?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>They took Roland! I don’t know what happened but they left a note.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Who left a note? What does it say?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I don’t know but the note is for you, Richie. It has your name on it. When can you get here?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at the wall for a minute before swallowing hard.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re in the middle of nowhere, Cuthbert. It’d take eight hours for me to get to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>That’s not good enough. That’s eight hours that you aren’t here to help. I can send a helicopter to pick you up. I’m sure that we can get to you in half the time!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Or you could open the letter and tell me what it says and who it’s from.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I can’t...there was a note to give it to you. Richie, please don’t make me lose my team captain.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Went-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Would make us abandon the mission and Roland. Our team never asks anything from you. I’m asking you for your help.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie turned to look at his team before sighing.</p><p> </p><p>“Send it.” Richie said, “I’ll be ready to go. I’ll send you the coordinates now.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Fuck, thank you Richie. Thank you so much! You won’t regret this I promise.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Don’t mention it. Just get here, ever minute counts.”</p><p> </p><p>He hung up and send the address to Cuthbert before going upstairs. Ignoring his team as they called his name. He was torn on whether or not to tell his dad or not. He knew that Cuthbert was right. If he told Went then he’d make Cuthbert abandon the mission and Roland. He also knew that he’d never see that letter that was left for him and God, he wanted to know what it said.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, what the hell? We’re still playing.” Eddie said, walking in with Stan and Ben,“What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“Roland was taken by someone. Cuthbert isn’t sure who but...they left me a note.”</p><p> </p><p>“Left...you a note...who left you a note?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t know. Cuthbert seemed really spooked. He didn’t want to open the letter at all. There was a note to give it to me. But he’s terrified.”</p><p> </p><p>“We should call your dad, right?” Mike asked, coming in after Eddie, “He can direct them-”</p><p> </p><p>“If we do that then Went will make them evacuate. He doesn’t want to give up on finding Roland. If it were me, would you guys?” Richie asked, “And I want to know what the note says.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course we wouldn’t.” Beverly told him, “But Richie, this is crazy. We don’t have to help them-”</p><p> </p><p>“Bullshit we don’t. Cuthbert never asks anyone for anything because he’s so fucking nice. He’s asking me for a favor and I’m going to do it. You guys can stay here if you want. I want to know who the fuck took Roland.”</p><p> </p><p>He watched his friends look at each other; each looking wary of what the trip would entail.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s our vacation, <em>your</em> vacation Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah and if Roland dies and I could have helped I’d feel like shit.”</p><p> </p><p>“I would too.” Eddie said, regretfully, “How long until they pick you up?”</p><p> </p><p>“Four hours.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie turned to the team who all looked at him with frowns.</p><p> </p><p>“Team, pack up your shit and be ready to go in four hours. We’ll come back whenever shit calms down. That is my promise to you guys.” Eddie said, “If we needed Ka-Tet’s help they could give it. We’re not going to slight them in their time of need. We also aren’t going to let Richie go on his own when we don’t know if it’s dangerous or not are we?”</p><p> </p><p>He watched Bill look at Mike and Stan; his gaze turning to Beverly and Ben who stared at one another.</p><p> </p><p>“No, we’re not.” Bill answered for all of them, “Wheels up in four hours, we’ll be ready in one.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill led the others out; Richie stared at Eddie who smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys don’t have to come.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care, we’re going to. I don’t want you to get hurt. If Roland got caught that means you could potentially be as well. I’ve lived that horror story once, I don’t need it again. So we need to make a plan.” Eddie said, “What do you think the note says? Who is it from?”</p><p> </p><p>“I have no idea. I just need to know what they fucking want.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll handle it.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>Richie sat down on the bed and covered his head with his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie...what’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“I have a bad feeling. I’ve had it for a few days now.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s your gut telling you?”</p><p> </p><p>“This is a trap. That something bad will happen if we go. But we can’t not go if it means someone dies.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, typically your bad feelings...are spot on. What do you think will happen?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s the thing...I don’t know. If I did, I could better gauge it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want us to do this if we’re going to get hurt.” Richie said, “That’s why I said you didn’t have to come with.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing will happen to us if we stick together. When we’re together nothing can stop us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. I just worry, you know I do.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Well worry less. You think I’d let anything happen to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think I would?” Richie countered.</p><p> </p><p>“No because I trust you more than anyone in my life. You’ve never let me down...and you never will. I know that for a fact.” Eddie told him, “I’ll see you in an hour.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie wished that Roland hadn’t been caught. Five minutes in heaven with Eddie sounded like something he needed, not just wanted. He hated it so much that he’d answered the phone but at the same time…</p><p> </p><p>He had to know what that fucking note said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There's certain things can't do when it concerns Eddie Kaspbrak. Tell the truth about his feelings and lie about what's going on.</p><p>Nothing ever goes the way he plans it when FLAGG is involved.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I'm planning to have the next chapter up either tonight or in the morning. It depends on a few things. I hope you guys enjoy the update.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie had shaken Jamie’s hand when they’d boarded the helicopter. They had flown to meet with Cuthbert at Richie’s apartment. Ben, Mike and Bev breaking off to go to Ben’s to gather equipment they’d need to have for getting Roland back. Richie got out of the car and watched Cuthbert get out of his own vehicle. Going to the leader of the Losers quickly; holding out the note for him to take. Richie grabbing it before they started to head inside. Eddie, Bill and Stan wouldn’t be too far behind. And his team had a key to his place so he didn’t care about waiting.</p><p> </p><p>Opening his apartment and letting Cuthbert, Jamie and Alain in.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Make yourselves at home, I’ll grab you some drinks.” Richie said, cutting Cuthbert off and going into the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>He looked at the note and felt something settle in his stomach akin to fear. Opening it and folding the letter open.</p><p> </p><p>He stared at it while he processed it. Hearing the door open and shut and listening to Eddie’s voice as it came to him in the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Reading the letter and sitting down heavily.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie,</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>By now you know that we’ve taken Roland. His safe return is entirely dependent upon you. Meet me at Streamrift Beach at nine a.m. tomorrow. I’ll assume if you don’t show up that you don’t care what happens to your little company member. If you don’t come then we’ll take someone from your team to see if that will make you come play with me. Come alone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>We’ll be watching,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Patrick</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He <em>knew </em>what it meant to go by himself. Felt almost physically ill at the thought of meeting Patrick alone. He didn’t want to but he knew he had to. Roland didn’t deserve whatever torture the FLAGG operative had in store for him. Cuthbert had gotten this letter last night at around ten o’clock. Had picked them up at almost 3 a.m. Glancing at the time and seeing that it was almost eight.</p><p> </p><p>He folded the letter and pulled a lighter out from the center cookie jar. Setting the letter aflame and setting it on a dish. Watching it burn to ash as Eddie came into the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>“Who has Roland?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at the male and smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“We have two hours to meet the kidnappers at The Getty Villa. Ten o’clock on the dot. They’ll give us back Roland if we meet them. We’re who they wanted in the first place. It wasn’t signed with a name.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why’d you burn it?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Just in case Dad decides to snoop around.” Richie told him easily, “We’ll need more equipment than what we have stored at Ben’s.”</p><p> </p><p>“And how do you propose we get it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll go to HQ and get what we need. You hold down the fort here and wait for my signal.” Richie said, “You hear it that’s when we move out.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded his head as Richie stood up and went to his room. Shutting the door and locking it as he started to change. Shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath. He put on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. Sliding his leather jacket from Stan on. Knowing that Eddie would turn it on when he didn’t show up by ten. Going to his dresser and looking at the necklace that the former asthmatic had given him for his birthday two years ago. It also had a tracker in the charm. The Loser’s Club pendant looking up at him as he slid it on as well.</p><p> </p><p>He gripped his hands when he noticed them shaking. He was terrified of going to this location. It’s where he’d been captured the last time. He knew just how paranoid and crazy Patrick was and knew that he couldn’t tell the others what the letter said. Call it a martyr complex or a hero one...he didn’t give a shit.</p><p> </p><p>What it came down to in his head is that if he didn’t go now Roland would get killed and Patrick would take someone from his team. He’d be damned if he let that happen.</p><p> </p><p>Unlocking the door and going to the living room. Eddie and Bill had already served Ka-Tet drinks. Watching Eddie as the male stood in the door frame of the kitchen. Watching Bill interact with the other team. Richie decided then and there that he couldn’t go in blind. He had to have some kind of plan. Couldn’t just pretend that he was going to HQ. It would kill Eddie if he found out later that Richie had lied.</p><p> </p><p>And at the end of the day he couldn’t lie to the male.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, can you talk to me for a minute in my room?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded, following after him to Richie’s bedroom. Richie shut the door and leaned against it as he looked at his co-leader, his best friend…</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked him up and down; his eyes knowing as he opened his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re...not going to HQ. You wouldn’t be wearing that jacket or that necklace if you were.”</p><p> </p><p>His voice was so soft and gentle as he took in Richie’s appearance.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me the truth.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at the time again and sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Henry’s team took Roland. They want me to meet them alone. If I don’t then they’ll kill Roland. You know they’ll do it too, Eddie. We can’t chance that.”</p><p> </p><p>He watched the warring emotions on his co-leader’s face. It always hurt to see that look on Eddie’s face. Where he looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it.</p><p> </p><p>“What else?” Eddie asked, his voice tight, “What else was in that note?”</p><p> </p><p>“If I don’t show up they’ll take one of you guys to show they’re serious. I’m cutting out the bad part.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie sat down on his bed heavily; staring at him in horror. The look of actual terror on his face made Richie choke the joke down that he wanted to say.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee, where’s the meet up?”</p><p> </p><p>“Streamrift beach in an hour.” Richie said, “You can...turn on the tracker in the jacket. You can come save me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Save you? I don’t want you to go!” Eddie exclaimed, “This is crazy, Richie. The last time that team took you—I thought you were dead. It took us so long to find you and when we did...you had all those fucking scars on you. And you <em>still</em> won’t tell us what happened. I don’t want something awful to happen to you-”</p><p> </p><p>“Patrick Hockstetter can’t do anything worse to me than he already has.” Richie told Eddie, bringing him into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know that. He could torture you worse than last time. He could rape you. He could kill you.”</p><p> </p><p>“The worst he can do is kill me.” Richie said softly, tightening his hold on the male, “You have to save me, Eds. I’m the brute strength and you have always been the heart and emotion of this team. Don’t leave me with them for too long. Just long enough to figure out their endgame.”</p><p> </p><p>He felt Eddie shaking as he pulled away and saw the short male crying.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t.” Eddie told him sharply, “Fucking...fuck. This isn’t like you getting captured or being outsmarted. This is you, Richie...going headfirst into danger.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which is why I’m talking it out with you so we can get a plan together instead of keeping my lie up from earlier. I have fifteen minutes before I have to start heading there.” Richie said slowly, “So throw me your best plan, Spaghetti.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie pulled away from Richie entirely and started pacing. Richie watched him run his fingers through his hair ending at his neck and grasping at it. The shorter male turned to the taller and licked his lips.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie went and sat on the bed with a sigh. Looking up at the ceiling. Richie could see that his best friend didn’t want to have this talk but had no other choice.</p><p> </p><p>“How long do you want with them?”</p><p> </p><p>“Eight hours, tops.” Richie said, “Hopefully that will be enough to lull them into a false sense of security. Give me enough time to figure out what Danny has that Randall wants.”</p><p> </p><p>“And if it doesn’t? That’s eight hours...I don’t think I can even wait <em>four</em> hours.” Eddie said, “No, scratch that, I <em>know</em> I can’t even wait four hours nonetheless eight hours. Because that’s eight hours that Patrick and Henry will torture you <em>again</em> and do God knows what. And again, you haven’t even told me what happened last time-”</p><p> </p><p>“Because it would just hurt you to know.” Richie told him, “And you have enough guilt about it-”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care!” Eddie screamed, as Richie took a step back, “Fucking Christ, Rich. I’d rather feel guilty and be able to help you than wonder...always fucking wonder what they did! And you want me to come save you but Richie, you’ve always been the brains.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie swallowed hard as he tried to think of what to say.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie bit his lip hard; Richie going to him and kneeling on the floor. Taking the younger male’s hands in his and gripping them tight. Deciding to go for the truth.</p><p> </p><p>“When Went tapped me for MATURIN, do you know what he asked me?” Richie asked, seeing him shake his head, “Who did I think would be a good co-leader. Because every team does co-leaders. Roland and Cuthbert, Chris and Gordie, Beaver and Jonesy. He said, whoever it was, that he’d tap them because I had to know who would watch and protect my ass better than anyone. Any failure, injury or setback would be on me based off of who I picked. I told him, looked him right in the eyes and said ‘You know who I’m going to say. Eddie Kaspbrak will have my back and protect me through thick and thin.’ Went fought me on it, thinking maybe Stan or Bill. I wouldn’t budge though because you’re an amazing friend and an incredible operative.”</p><p> </p><p>His best friend stared at him with teary eyes; the look of shock on his face almost taking Richie’s breath away.</p><p> </p><p>“Went asked me if I was sure. I had to be sure about it because there was no going back. I told him I’d stake my life on it. You’re braver than you know, Eddie. In the six years we’ve operated the Losers I’ve never once doubted you or your abilities. I still don’t, not even with how scared I am. You’re just as much the brains and brawn as I am. The only thing that’s different is you have more emotion and heart than I do for people that aren’t just on our team.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took a deep breath and gripped Richie’s hands tight.</p><p> </p><p>“Answer one question for me and I’ll let you go. I’ll let you go for your eight hours and then come for you.” Eddie said, refusing to let the tears fall even as his voice broke.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s face didn’t give away anything even as Eddie’s hands tightened on his.</p><p> </p><p>“What did Patrick do to you four years ago that makes you freeze up now?” Eddie asked softly, “I <em>have </em>to know. For four years you haven’t been the same person. You haven’t acted the same. I need to know what to expect this time.”</p><p> </p><p>The older male tried to take his hands back; Eddie’s grip a deadlock on them. Staring at Richie with eyes so damn earnest that he couldn’t help but sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not doing this right now.” Richie told him, taking a deep breath, “How about this? When you come save me, I’ll tell you everything you want to know about it. Any question you have I’ll answer. But now is not the time to have that conversation.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at him and bit his lip so hard it bled. Richie watched him as he processed the information.</p><p> </p><p>“You swear?”</p><p> </p><p>“I swear.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you swear on our lives?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him and then sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I swear to you on the lives of myself and the Losers that I’ll answer whatever you want.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded his head as Richie went to stand. The smaller male tightening his hold on Richie. He obviously didn’t want to let the male go. Richie waited for him to let go; Eddie’s grip finally loosening as Richie pulled back.</p><p> </p><p>“Eight hours...no more no less. You’ve always asked me if I trust you and I’ve always said yes. This is me trusting you Eds.” Richie said softly, seeing Eddie nod his head.</p><p> </p><p>He walked out of the bedroom, Eddie following after him and trying to keep his emotions in check. He knew better than to look at Bill and Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be back.” Richie said, seeing Bill nod his head.</p><p> </p><p>Stan looked at him like Richie was hiding something. Eddie would let them know after the exchange because Roland would be let go.</p><p> </p><p>Richie left the apartment with his hands in his pockets. His anxiety was through the roof right now. Not that he’d admit that out loud. Going downstairs to his motorcycle and straddling it. He trusted Eddie to get him out of it. If he hadn’t he would have told the boy that he was in love with him, kissed him and then dealt with the fall out before leaving.</p><p> </p><p>However, he didn’t want to do that for so many reasons. Too many to name if he was honest.</p><p> </p><p>Going to the meet up was the easy part. It was the anxiety around seeing Patrick and his merry band of assholes that made him anxious. He didn't know what to expect and that scared him. Doing missions where the odds were stacked against him made him feel more comfortable than this did. Then again he had every reason in the world to be a nervous wreck when it concerned this group of individuals. They had no code...no rules...they just did as they pleased. Those were the most dangerous type of people.</p><p> </p><p>He slid into a parking spot and turned off his bike immediately. He left the keys in the side compartment; knowing that Eddie or Stan one would make sure his bike was taken care of safely.</p><p> </p><p>Richie checked his phone for the time before he made his way onto the beach. There weren’t htat many people on the beach yet. In all the craziest scenarios he had thought of he never thought of this. He never thought of Patrick being smart enough to do a hostage exchange. Never thought he’d actually be willingly walk towards him.</p><p> </p><p>One thing he knew for certain is that Patrick and Henry always followed through with their threats.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing Patrick looking so fucking smug made Richie’s stomach flip. Swallowing hard as he stopped a little bit away from him. He looked around with a frown on his face and almost felt stupid for believing that this would be easy.</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Roland?” Richie asked, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick looked over to the lifeguard tower where Vic and Belch walked out with Roland on either side of him.</p><p> </p><p>“You can text your team where he is then leave your phone.” Patrick said calmly.</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled his phone out as he heard a beep behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Henry will check for trackers.” Patrick told him, “No tricks, Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt trapped as he texted Eddie the location as well as the fact that they were checking for trackers and therefore might have to find him the old fashioned way.</p><p> </p><p>Tossing his phone on the sand and hearing Henry laugh softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Lose the jacket, asshole.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s eyes shut as he slid the jacket off and threw it on top of the phone. Listening to Henry behind him as Vic and Belch brought Roland closer. The male stared at Richie in shock as the male took in the gag in his mouth and the ties on his wrists.</p><p> </p><p>“Take the gag out.” Richie said, watching Henry take the detector down to his shoes.</p><p> </p><p>Belch looked to Patrick who nodded before taking the gag out.</p><p> </p><p>“How you doing, Roland?”</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck are you doing, Tozier?” Roland asked, an edge to his voice that Richie had never heard before.</p><p> </p><p>He knew that Roland had heard he’d been captured by this team for four days even though he, like everyone else, didn’t know what happened.</p><p> </p><p>“Saving your ass, you’re welcome.” Richie said, holding in a cringe when Henry took his belt off, “That isn’t a goddamn tracker.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t be too safe.” Henry said smoothly, as he worked his way around Richie’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>“Does your team know?” Roland asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie does. Going to team up with them?” Richie asked casually.</p><p> </p><p>“And take these assholes down, you’d best believe.” Roland said, crying out in pain when Belch punched him hard in the solar plexus.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” Richie snapped, taking a step towards him as Henry grabbed him tightly.</p><p> </p><p>A knife going to Roland’s neck as Richie growled softly and stilled. The detector going off over his necklace as Henry took it off his neck. It fell to the sand with a soft thud. Richie looked at it and shut his eyes. All hopes of this being an easy rescue going out the window.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s it.” Henry confirmed, stepping back.</p><p> </p><p>Richie heard something behind him before grunting when pain erupted in his head. Hitting the sand and hearing Roland screaming was the last thing he experienced before everything went dark.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie isn't sure he's going to make it out of this alive anymore.</p><p>Eddie is determined to get his best friend back alive.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this is a trigger warning for mild torture and violence as well as non-consensual touching. If any of this could trigger you please don't read it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie’s eyes opened slowly as he regained consciousness. The beach rushing back to him quickly as he looked around. His eyes taking in the area before he groaned softly. Leaning his head onto the cement as the cool floor helped his throbbing head. He opened his eyes back up and took note of the cuffs on his wrists. The metal looked finicky to his eyes; upon closer inspection he noticed that they were old. He could work with that.</p><p> </p><p>Taking in the warehouse that he was in. He was situated in the center of the room. The chains from the cuffs leading to a metal loop in the floor. Richie pulled on them just a little to test the boundaries. Nodding his head slowly when he felt some slack. He pushed his hands onto the floor and stood up. Wavering on his feet as he moved to see how far he could move from the loop. Crying out in shock when he felt electricity run up his arms. Hitting the floor on his knees as he stared at the metal in shock.</p><p> </p><p>He moved too far he got shocked…</p><p> </p><p>Fabulous.</p><p> </p><p>With the way his head felt he most likely had a concussion. Which meant he needed to take it easy or risk a more serious one.</p><p> </p><p>The warehouse looked older than what MATURIN operatives would usually use. Old warehouses had too many faults and could easily be infiltrated.</p><p> </p><p>They, however, were the last place anyone thought to look. It was such a rookie move.</p><p> </p><p>Swallowing hard and wincing when he felt tension on his throat. His hands went up to his neck and felt leather with a flinch.</p><p> </p><p>A collar.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to scream but instead held the urge in and looked around more.</p><p> </p><p>Seventeen points of entry, eighteen if you counted the skylight. Fifteen windows and two doors that could be used to invade the space.</p><p> </p><p>And he had no fucking tracker to get his team to locate him. He didn’t know how long he had been out but he did know three things.</p><p> </p><p>The first was that Eddie had told the team what had happened and he was probably dealing with a hell of a fight. He knew the Losers wouldn’t be happy but would understand why they had to play it the way they had to. They couldn’t bargain with someone else’s life. And Richie sure as fuck wouldn’t let one of them get taken.</p><p> </p><p>The second was that they had located his pile of shit and his bike. Stan was probably handling it all with the utmost care in preparation of Richie coming back. If anything was left in the wrong spot Richie would bitch until the sun went down and came back up.</p><p> </p><p>The third was that Roland was safe and in his team’s care. He also knew that Patrick doing this was declaring a certain kind of war against them. Knowing Eddie he was probably accepting Ka-Tet’s help as well as SBM and Dreamcatcher. This would be an all hands on deck situation. He knew his co-leader well enough to know he’d get Richie back or die trying.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad to see you’re finally awake.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie backed up from Patrick when the male came out of the small office. No one followed him and he wondered if Henry and his goons weren’t there. If it was just him and Patrick by themselves.</p><p> </p><p>“They aren’t here.” Patrick said, as if reading his mind, “Henry said he’d help me get you but what I did from there was my business.”</p><p> </p><p>That was more terrifying than if they’d all had come out. Richie pulled at the chain and choked on a cry when the electricity ran up his arms again.</p><p> </p><p>“I had to have some kind of measures in place. Can’t have you just get away now that I have you again.” Patrick told him.</p><p> </p><p>His voice was soft, almost gentle. It made Richie want to throw up as he backed up into a column.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want with me, Patrick? You had your fun...four years ago.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I missed you.” Patrick smiled, crowding the shorter male into the column more, “You were so reactive and...it was intoxicating. I see you and you know I do. Better than your <em>team</em>. You should have taken me up on my offer and switched sides.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d rather die.” Richie sneered.</p><p> </p><p>“Which I can arrange.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie flinched when the male caressed his cheek. Turning his face to the side as he felt Patrick’s breath on his neck. Heard him take a deep breath and felt like he was crawling out of his skin.</p><p> </p><p>“You still smell the same.”</p><p> </p><p>He was burning his cologne when he got home. Throw that shit in the fucking fire and just switch to something else.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you really going to be quiet? I can just as easily go grab Wheezy or that curly haired bastard.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s head turned to Patrick’s with a glare.</p><p> </p><p>“You aren’t going to fucking touch them!”</p><p> </p><p>“Then give me something to work with, <em>Chee</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t call me that.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick laughed softly, “Henry was scared that we’d extinguished that fire in you years ago. I see it is still blaring in your eyes. I wonder how long it would take me to kill it.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed roughly, “It’d take more than a fourth rate operative to kill anything in me.”</p><p> </p><p>He should have expected the backhand but he didn’t. Feeling his head hit the column as he groaned softly. His head throbbing as he tried to breathe through the pain. Patrick laughed in his ear, pushing him back against the wood with a smile. He felt kisses on his neck as he tried to pull away. Feeling a hand on the chain jerking it before he was punched in the stomach. Feeling shocks as the breath left his chest. Hitting the ground on his knees as he tried to remember how to get oxygen into his lungs.</p><p> </p><p>Hearing Patrick’s laughter as he heard something being hammered before he looked up. Being pulled up by the chain as he winced at the soreness in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>“I think my favorite face of yours besides you crying is that look of sheer panic when you get electrocuted.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sick fuck.” Richie bit out, getting hit again for it.</p><p> </p><p>It caught his lip; tasting blood as he laughed softly.</p><p> </p><p>“When my team finds you, they’ll kill you.” Richie said, “This...obsession you have with me is going to get you murdered.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick laughed as he hooked Richie’s arms into the freshly nailed metal in the column. He walked off as Richie’s feet barely scraped the ground. The muscles in his arms stretching uncomfortably as Patrick came back with a knife.</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s breath came in quicker as he tried to pull away from the metal. A whimper escaping him before he could stop it.</p><p> </p><p>“So you do remember this?” Patrick asked, the knife ghosting over his abdomen, “Your screams were...delicious.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie kicked at the male; his thigh being caught as he was pushed into the wood. Patrick’s weight against his made Richie’s head swim in panic and fear. He remembered this position all too well and it made him want to puke. Memories assaulted him before he could stop it. Trying hard not to think of any of them as he focused on the here and now.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know how hard it was to wait for you while you slept?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, is that what you call knocking me out?” Richie asked, “You’re insane, Patrick.”</p><p> </p><p>“Two hours is too long of a time to wait for anyone. Randall’s obsession with your organization has only led to one good thing, <em>you</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Randall’s obsession is going to end the same way yours is. Death.”</p><p> </p><p>“Big talk from someone who doesn’t have anyone coming after him. We took the trackers you had off, Tozier. No phone, no trackers, no hope. That’s what they teach us at FLAGG. Randall taught us himself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then you should know there’s more than one way to track someone.” Richie told him, “And if you think my team is just going to wait around for my corpse to show up, you’re a fucking idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick glared at him before stabbing Richie in the arm. The younger screamed in pain as he tried to not jerk too hard away from it. It would cause him to bleed more. Blood loss meant sluggishness which meant not being prepared enough for extraction.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve forgotten your manners.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t think I have.” Richie said through his teeth.</p><p> </p><p>The knife was jerked out of him as Richie’s voice broke on a cry. He watched the male’s hand trail up his side as he tried to get away.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick moving away from him long enough to grab gauze to wrap his arm. Richie looked at him as the male smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t have you bleed out before I have my fun with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie breathed out as the male moved away from him again. He watched the male go back to the office and swallowed hard again. Trying to get off the hook and failing when he couldn’t get the leverage.</p><p> </p><p>Falling against it with a sigh. The fear he felt was more than he had felt the last time he’d been alone with Patrick. Then again, the male had done his worst to him last time. There wasn’t much more he could do to him. Watching as he came back and feeling ice in his stomach.</p><p> </p><p>Focus on being anywhere other than here. On any happy memory that didn’t include being in this hellhole.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling the knife cut his shirt as he looked up a the ceiling. He couldn’t be here in this warehouse right now. His anxiety hitting him hard enough to take his breath away. Feeling hands on him making him want to throw up.</p><p> </p><p>“Jeez Patrick, it didn’t take you long at all to get started.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at Henry as the male walked in. Patrick just smiled at his friend before turning back to the other male.</p><p> </p><p>“I figured every minute is precious. Never know when it has to end.”</p><p> </p><p>“You have three hours with him.” Henry said, “Randall said he wants your little...whatever this is done by then. He needs us to focus on the task at hand.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick stared at him, “And what the fuck am I supposed to do after three hours?”</p><p> </p><p>“Burn this place to the ground.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick’s hands gripped Richie’s arms tightly with a frown on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“And what am I supposed to do with him?” Patrick asked.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s going to be in the building. Randall is hoping it sends a message to Danny. That if we can kill his best then we can get any of his little company.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie breathed out sharply; Patrick recomposing himself and focusing on Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Then get the fuck out if I only have three hours. I need to make it memorable.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie had three hours to get out of there. He didn’t want his team finding his remains. Not now or ever if he had the choice. Crying out when Patrick cut across his chest. Feeling the warm rush of blood as he tried to breathe in through the pain.</p><p> </p><p>“Well at least we can say your last few hours were pleasurable.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie could only think about the fact that he was in a living nightmare.</p><p> </p><p>– – – – – – – – – – – –</p><p> </p><p>Eddie knew that it was going to be difficult telling the team. The anger that flashed on Stan’s face as she shoved Eddie into the wall would stay with the smaller male for a long time. Seeing the look of helplessness on Mike and Ben’s faces as they sat down. Beverly and Bill looking ready to take someone’s head off. It would end up being Eddie if they didn’t get Richie back.</p><p> </p><p>What he didn’t know was that Went would get involved. After they’d gotten Roland back they’d taken him to HQ to get looked over.</p><p> </p><p>They’d been there for three fucking hours. Danny hadn’t come to say anything to them. Eddie wasn’t sure he even knew what was going on. Knowing Went, he was probably playing it close to the chest.</p><p> </p><p>Now, they were sitting in the conference room with a very pissed off Went. The male hadn’t said anything but he was red and pacing. Eddie stayed silent as he kept his eyes on the male.</p><p> </p><p>“So my son just—went headfirst into danger and you let him?” Went finally said, looking at Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“When Richie makes his mind up about something he does it. He said they’d kill Roland and come for one of us. He wanted to make it as easy for everyone as possible-”</p><p> </p><p>“And where is this note?” Went sneered at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie burned it.”</p><p> </p><p>“How convenient for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why the fuck would Eddie lie?” Beverly asked bitterly, “He didn’t want Richie to go anymore than any of us did.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to hear it from any of you. My son is out there with that monster!”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s only your son when it’s convenient for you.” Stan said hatefully, “Ninety five percent of the time you don’t give a shit about him. You only do if he’s making you look good or bad. And in your head he makes you look bad-”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie doing this makes all of us look bad and weak. And let me guess, he still hasn’t told any of you what happened four years ago?” Went asked, “That’s not an actual question because I know he hasn’t. Always so fucking concerned with protecting his chosen family. Pathetic.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie isn’t pathetic.” Eddie said fiercely, “Just because you don’t have a loving bone in your body doesn’t mean your son isn’t capable of it. He went to save all of us. So now, we need to stop fucking talking and figure out where he is. If you can’t help us with that then fucking leave. Stan, we need a map of Los Angeles. We’ll zone out some circle radius’ and go from there. They can’t have taken him too far from the beach.”</p><p> </p><p>Went scoffed, “I told him that you’d be the death of him. He could have been the greatest operative at MATURIN and now he’ll die a mistake.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at Went as the male left the room. The words shaking him to his core as he looked down. Knowing that Richie had gone to bat for him hard to be his co-leader, knowing how much Went had hated the idea. Beverly throwing a vase at the door when it closed. Went looked through the glass at her as she glared at him. Instead of coming back in he continued to walk off; allowing the woman her anger.</p><p> </p><p>“Stan!” Eddie bit out, as the male looked at him, “Map...now!”</p><p> </p><p>Stan stood up and left the room quickly. Beverly coming over to him as he moved out of the hug she tried to pull him into. Bill and Ben moving to stop him as he moved from all of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, you were just doing what you thought was right.” Ben told him, “When Richie puts his mind to something he does it. It doesn’t matter what any of us says or does.”</p><p> </p><p>“Y-Yeah, you c-c-couldn’t have stopped h-him.” Bill frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Until we get him back I don’t want to hear it.” Eddie said, “I knew I shouldn’t have let him leave and I did. So, until Richie is safe I don’t want to be comforted...I just want him back.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan rushed back in with a map. Laying it on the table as Beverly and Mike put something on the four corners. The curly haired male taking a marker out and circling the radius perimeter of the beach. Eddie watched it with critical eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“We have to think like Henry’s team. It’s early morning so not a whole lot of foot traffic.” Eddie said, “But it would be growing steadily, it was pretty steady when we got there to get Roland. So, they couldn’t go far with an unconscious body without drawing a lot of unwanted attention. What’s around the beach Stan?”</p><p> </p><p>Stan looked around and chewed on his bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s the Quarterdeck, Marina Harbor Apartments, Village Apartments, there’s the docks. Some warehouses...for all we know they could have taken him on a boat.” Stan said softly, looking away from the map, “If we do a ten mile radius it could be too many places, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie pulled his phone out, shooting off one massive group text before looking at the map.</p><p> </p><p>“Dreamcatcher will take the surrounding water to see if there’s any suspicious boats. Ka-Tet will take the beach front places. We’ll pair up with SBM and go in pairs of threes. Stan and Beverly will be with me. Mike, Bill and Ben will be a group. SBM will go as a group of four. We’ll split the warehouses down the line. We’ll take the old ones, Mike will head group b and take the newer ones. SBM will focus on the dock and port. There’s twenty-seven old warehouses and fourteen new ones. We’ll fan out and close in to meet in the middle.” Eddie said, his brain on autopilot, “If we don’t find him there then we’ll increase the radius and places to search.”</p><p> </p><p>“What if it’s too late by then?” Mike asked the question they were all thinking.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at him and shut his eyes. Taking a deep breath and trying to center himself like Richie had done so many times.</p><p> </p><p>But at the end of the day, he wasn’t Richie. He couldn’t disconnect from the emotions he was feeling. The fear and anxiety were almost crippling in their desire to completely upend him.</p><p> </p><p>“No Loser left behind. Failure is not an option in this mission. We bring our boy home.”</p><p> </p><p>“And if Richie is dead?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at Stan who looked him dead in the eyes. The look of fear in the other boy’s eyes almost threw Eddie who just glared.</p><p> </p><p>“If Richie’s dead then we track down Patrick goddamn Hockstetter and we take his heart.” Eddie said, seeing the shock run through the team before their faces settled into agreement, “We make sure they remember to fear us first and foremost. Now, it’ll take an hour for all the teams to get here. You have an hour to figure out what you want to take as weapons. Confirm orders?”</p><p> </p><p>They each barked a positive at him as he stared at the map then his phone when it buzzed. The co-leaders of the team agreeing to help.</p><p> </p><p>MATURIN was where they worked sure, but no one was allowed to take one of their own. Eddie just hoped he wasn’t too late to save Richie.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Losers rescue Richie but aren't prepared for the way they find him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heavy Richie whump for the next few chapters. Protective Eddie in the next few chapters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie laid on the cement watching as Patrick poured gasoline on everything. Everything hurt if he was honest. His eyes moving lazily to his arms that hadn’t stopped their sluggish bleeding. He couldn’t die here; he had to get out of this hell. His eyes going back to Patrick as the male threw the gasoline canister away from him. Coming to Richie and kneeling on the floor with a grin.</p><p> </p><p>It spoke volumes that Richie didn’t even flinch when the male caressed his cheek. The fight had left him a while ago. Nothing he did mattered when he was chained like an animal.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m truly going to miss you.” Patrick told him, “I really wish I could’ve kept you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Go fuck yourself, Patrick.” Richie told him tiredly.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick laughed gently, “And still you have fight in you. I wonder if Wheezy will when I go for him. I wonder if he’ll scream like you or if he’ll try to be tough. We’ll see I guess, huh? I’ll see you in hell, Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s eyes followed him as he went to the door. Lighting a match and tossing it to the floor. The door slamming shut as he sat up slowly. Gasping in pain as he felt his body scream out at him. He wasn’t sure there was an area of his body that wasn’t marked or in pain.</p><p> </p><p>Even if he survived this he knew most of it would scar.</p><p> </p><p>He knew one thing for certain. He wouldn’t let Patrick get near Eddie while he was still alive.</p><p> </p><p>Standing up slowly and looking at the area around him. He had to figure out a way to get the cuffs off. Looking at the cart that Patrick had used the last few hours. A ball point pen stared at him as he went towards it. Crying out in pain when electricity shocked him for going to far. His hands grazing it and he hadn’t even pulled the chain taut.</p><p> </p><p>Thinking of Patrick’s threat against Eddie woke something in him he thought had been killed. Lunging hard for the cart and knocking it over towards him. The pen rolled off onto the floor. Richie snatching it up with a knife. Cutting the tip off and sliding the ink tube out.</p><p> </p><p>He tossed it aside and stared at the hard plastic. Cutting four hard grooves into it before placing it in the keyhole of the cuffs. It was a tubular lock so he was hoping for the best with the pen. Feeling it press against the pins before he started to shake the cuff back and forth. Feeling the pins give before the cuff unlocked.</p><p> </p><p>He smiled for the first time since this had all started. Placing the pen in the other keyhole and doing the same thing.</p><p> </p><p>He watched the cuff unlock partially; still pulling against his wrist as he tried to jerk it out. Richie’s eyes closed tightly before he swallowed hard. He couldn’t panic even if he wanted to. Panicking got people killed and in this case it would be him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie Tozier wanted three things right now. To get out of this alive so his best friends didn’t find his corpse. To protect Eddie from Patrick because the male would come for him just like he told Richie he would. The third was to take a long shower and try to forget this had all happened. It had worked last time and God he hoped it worked this time.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling at his wrist and screaming in frustration when it didn’t slide out. It was too dry to maneuver as he looked at the fire that was spreading quickly towards him. The smoke was gathering thickly in the space as he looked to the knife again.</p><p> </p><p>Grabbing it and jamming it in the lock. It wouldn’t give...he knew it wouldn’t. He knew what he had to do but it terrified him. He could do two things to get out of the cuff. The first extreme and the other incredibly reckless.</p><p> </p><p>Going for the reckless move first as he cut into his wrist. Screaming in pain while blood surfaced. He watched it pool before he dropped the knife. Sliding the liquid onto his wrist before pulling again. Feeling the cuff cut into his wrist as he jerked on it. Choking a cry when he felt a shock from the cuff. He breathed in wetly as tears fell again.</p><p> </p><p>Yanking on his wrist and letting out a mixture of a scream and a whimper when his wrist came out. Looking at the cuts that had scratched up his hand from doing it. He looked around again at his exits. Most of the windows had been covered by fire. Stumbling for one of the unoccupied windows; stopping to grab a hammer from the contents of the cart.</p><p> </p><p>He threw it at the window and watched as it hit the glass but didn’t smash it. It still looked the same as it had before he’d thrown the hammer. Reinforced glass meant that he couldn’t smash it. It meant that he needed something a lot stronger than a goddamn hammer.</p><p> </p><p>He screamed at the window before he stumbled back. He had to get out of there...there had to be a way out.</p><p> </p><p>His hands shaking as he looked for another way. The doors were covered in fire and the windows were out unless he had something to break the integrity of it. Coughing as smoke entered his lungs. Holding his heavily bleeding wrist as he ran a bloody hand through his hair. He stumbled and fell; trying to find fresh oxygen to breathe and finding none. Using a column to stand up and crying out in the pain in his lower back.</p><p> </p><p>He could only watch as the fire spread closer to him. Feeling his strength leaving him faster than he’d wished for.</p><p> </p><p>There was no way he was getting out of here. He didn’t have the force to open a window with just himself. He was going to die...there was no escaping it.</p><p> </p><p>He was losing too much blood. He wondered, for just a moment, what would kill him first. The blood loss, the smoke or the fire.</p><p> </p><p>Dragging himself back to the cart and falling on the ground. He grabbed the knife from earlier and a set of brass knuckles. Standing up and going to the a different window. Stabbing at the wood at the bottom to try and break it from the bottom. Scraping it as he coughed from the smoke. Hitting the glass with the brass knuckles.</p><p> </p><p>A voice in the back of his head told him that he wasn’t going to survive this. He wasn’t going to get out of this building no matter what he did.</p><p> </p><p>Sliding down the wall and laying down on the cement. There was no way out; he just hoped that his team would be able to overcome this.</p><p> </p><p>– – – – – – – – – – – –</p><p> </p><p>Eddie slammed the door of another warehouse shut with a growl. Stan and Beverly seemed to be equally as pissed off as they made their way down to the next. Twenty-two fucking warehouses and nothing was there. Eddie was about to give up on the idea that Patrick was stupid enough to use one to kidnap someone.</p><p> </p><p>Stan opening the next door and going in with Beverly behind him. Eddie hesitated before going in; smelling smoke as he backed up. Seeing one of the warehouses on fire made him freeze.</p><p> </p><p>There was no way—</p><p> </p><p>“Stan! Bev!” Eddie shouted, before shooting off towards the warehouse.</p><p> </p><p>There was a feeling in his gut that that was where Richie was. And if there was one thing his best friend had taught him it was to follow your gut. Sliding to a stop as he looked at the warehouse. Beverly and Stan coming to a stop on either side of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie!” Eddie yelled, hoping for some sort of reaction and hearing nothing, “Guys, what are the chances that a warehouse is on fire around here on accident?”</p><p> </p><p>“Slim to none.” Beverly said firmly.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at it and then his friends who seemed at a loss.</p><p> </p><p>“Call everyone over here.” Eddie said, “I’m going in.”</p><p> </p><p>“The fuck you are.” Stan said, grabbing his arm, “That building is on <em>fire</em>, Eddie. It isn’t like going in expecting Patrick...fires are unpredictable and dangerous!”</p><p> </p><p>“And if Richie is in there then he’s going to need help!”</p><p> </p><p>“If Richie is in there then chances are you’ll both die.” Stan said.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, the longer you two argue about this the more the fire will spread. So Eddie, if you’re doing this then do it.” Beverly said, confident, “We’ll figure out a quick extraction.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie wouldn’t want us to risk our lives like this-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just mine.” Eddie told him, “If something happens and I don’t come out of that building...Stan is leader effective immediately in the case of my death.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan paled, “Don’t fucking say that, you’re coming out of that building alive Kaspbrak.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan pulled off his cardigan and tore a sleeve off. Wrapping it around Eddie’s mouth and nose to protect him from the smoke. Handing the male a ear piece as Eddie put it in his ear. Stan and Beverly putting their own in.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at the building and let out a shaky breath. Shooting at the nearest window; watching it fracture with a frown. Shooting in two other spots to break the integrity of the planes. Beverly and Stan ran over to it. Their hands bracing their wrists as Eddie ran and stepped on the step they made. Being tossed into the warehouse as he felt glass cut into his back. He hissed as he rolled along the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stopped on his feet as he looked around at the fire. It was hard to see anything with all the smoke.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie!” Eddie shouted, “Richie, if you’re in here let me know please!”</p><p> </p><p>The first momentary flare of panic hit Eddie as the thought that he was wrong finally appeared in his head. If he was wrong then he was wasting time. Just because the building was on fire didn’t mean Richie was in it.</p><p> </p><p>However the odds of it being on fire without Richie in it were slim.</p><p> </p><p>Moving further into the building and gasping when a beam fell to the ground. His eyes squinting as he looked at one of the windows, seeing a lump just under one. Eddie ran around the fire to get to that window. Falling to his knees when he took in the ashy face of his co-leader.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God.”</p><p> </p><p>Taking in the blood, bruises and cuts that seemed to map his body. His wrist looked like it had been put through a grinder. Feeling for a pulse as he held his breath. Letting it go when he felt one but it was slow.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys! I got him!” Eddie said, “We need to be evacuated now! Richie’s losing a lot of blood.”</p><p> </p><p>He looked up and saw the skylight and wondered for a moment if they could get out that way.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a skylight on top of the warehouse. If we have rope we can lift him out.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Ka-Tet is en route with their helicopter. Cuthbert said they should have a ladder.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“A ladder isn’t going to fucking work.” Eddie growled, “Richie is dying you guys. His heart beat is slowing as we speak. I need a goddamn rope to lift him out or for someone to break down one of these goddamn walls. Do you understand me?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mike and Bill are on their way. We’ll try to take out one of the windows. We can drag him out if need be.” Stan said, “I’m working on it right now.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Which window?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>The one you jumped through. I’m trying to force the frame out.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Eddie attempted to lift Richie to no avail. His best friend was completely dead weight. Not for the first time he wanted to have Ben or Mike’s muscles. Screaming in frustration when he couldn’t get the male over his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie tapped Richie’s face as gently as he could. Not seeing any movement on the male’s face terrified him if he was entirely honest. Pulling the male up and wincing when he heard Richie moan pathetically.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, wake up for me please. Please Rich, we have to get out of here.” Eddie told him, not seeing anything change and feeling his eyes burn with tears, “Chee, if you don’t move then we’ll both die. Come on...wake up.”</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t have time to waste. The fire was spreading too close to them. The smoke was getting too thick.</p><p> </p><p>Slapping the male’s face a little harder and getting a groan. Richie’s eyes fluttered open but looked confused to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah buddy, come on I’m here to save you. I can’t pick you up though...you’re too heavy.” Eddie told him, “I need you to be strong for a little while longer...please Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie winced and Eddie wasn’t sure if it was because of the pain or not. Helping him stand as Richie wavered on his feet. A hand going to his head as he coughed.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds...I think I’m dying.” Richie said, leaning on Eddie who took the weight awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p>“The fuck you are.” Eddie said, “Losers don’t die.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie coughed a laugh as he was pulled over to the window. The fresh air hitting him as he wheezed hard. Eddie kept him close to the open space to breathe the uncontaminated air.</p><p> </p><p>“Stan!” Eddie shouted.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here! We have a metal cutter so back up some.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie moved Richie back who groaned softly at the movement.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! We’re almost out of here.” Eddie told him, “Chee, stay awake.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry Eds.” Richie muttered softly, “I don’t think...I can. I’m so tired.”</p><p> </p><p>“For me...stay awake.” Eddie said, wincing when he felt Richie’s weight almost drop, “Guys! Hurry!”</p><p> </p><p>Hearing metal being cut to and watching it spark as he readjusted Richie’s weight.</p><p> </p><p>“What did they do to you?” Eddie asked, as Richie shook his head, “Remember what you said? I let you do this crazy fucking stunt and you tell me what they do and did. Any question.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds, I can’t...sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>That was all Eddie heard before Richie almost fell flat on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Stanley! Hurry the fuck up! He’s unconscious!” Eddie said, dragging him closer as he watched a hand bend the metal out.</p><p> </p><p>Mike and Bill’s faces welcome him as they stood on the metal and took a step in. Eddie meeting them and handing over his precious cargo. Richie being pulled out as the younger male climbed out after them. Jerking the sleeve off his face and kneeling next to Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Cuthbert, we need you here now. We have to get Richie to HQ now!” Stan yelled, “Richie’s bleeding out on us!”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Be there shortly.” Cuthbert told them, “Less than two minutes.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie looked dead as Eddie stared at him. There was more blood than skin showing and he wasn’t sure where it was all coming from. Stan trying to put pressure on the male’s wrist which was still bleeding steadily. Eddie dropped to his knees and moved to take the tattered shirt off. Beverly going to work on Richie’s legs with Ben.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re here. We have to take him!” Bill said, no stutter in his voice but fear evident in the tone.</p><p> </p><p>Stan moved Eddie away with gentle hands. Letting Bill and Mike lift the male who made no sound as they made their way to the helicopter. The rest of the Losers following after them quickly.</p><p> </p><p>Bill and Mike laid him on the floor as Stan and Eddie took up their positions next to him again. Beverly slamming the door shut before falling to her own knees.</p><p> </p><p>“Go!” Ben yelled, “I don’t care how many laws we have to break get us there in ten minutes!”</p><p> </p><p>“Roger that!”</p><p> </p><p>It felt like things were moving in slow motion. Eddie trying to find Richie’s pulse again. Feeling tears fall as he felt panic hit him. The older male’s pulse was slower than before. They had to get to a doctor now.</p><p> </p><p>“Cuthbert! Fly fucking faster!” Eddie yelled, “Richie’s pulse is getting weaker!”</p><p> </p><p>Heard Beverly lose the battle as she started crying; Stan and Ben not far behind her as Eddie swallowed hard.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Richie, you’re not allowed to die. You fucking swore to us you wouldn’t! Old age or bust, fuckface!” Eddie told the male, gripping his slack face, “Please! Chee, don’t do this to us! Fucking...God!”</p><p> </p><p>He leaned his head on Richie’s chest. Letting himself take comfort in the fact that he could feel a pulse at all. That pulse was getting thready and weak. His hands tightening on Richie’s arms as he tried to calm down.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure how long he had been in the position. The next thing he felt were arms pulling him away from Richie as he was pulled out of the helicopter. A stretcher being raised up as Richie was put on it. Eddie looking at Stan who had been the one to pull him away.</p><p> </p><p>The curly haired boy hugging him tightly as Eddie felt himself lose it as his emotions broke through the adrenaline. Following after the stretcher and seeing Went who looked pale as a ghost. The male looked like he was going to follow after Richie but didn’t at the looks that the Losers sent his way.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t get to play doting father when eyes were on him. Not when he didn’t help with the search party. Not when he didn’t give a shit about Richie any other day of the week.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just hoped that they had made it on time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie doesn't want to talk to Went; he just wants to know if Richie is okay.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry about the wait guys! I'll try to have another update up tomorrow!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie was great at a lot of things. Running track was one of the things he was most proud of. He had taken up track because Richie had told him that he’d be great at it. And he had been, had won many competitions because of how fast he could get from point a to point b. He knew he was a good friend and leader to his team. He was great at fighting as well, verbal and physical.</p><p> </p><p>What he wasn’t great at was waiting around.</p><p> </p><p>Eight hours and nothing had been conveyed to them. Whether Richie was alive or dead; in a coma even would have been preferable to the radio silence.</p><p> </p><p>Being dragged into the conference room with the other Losers and seeing Ka-Tet, Dreamcatcher and SBM made him stop.</p><p> </p><p>He knew they were going to get lectured and he didn’t want to handle that. There was only so much he wanted to process and this wasn’t any of it.</p><p> </p><p>Sitting next to Stan and Bev as Roland limped to the head of the table and sat. The Losers all stared at the male hard until he got the message that he wasn’t allowed to sit in Richie’s goddamn seat. Roland moved and sat next to Cuthbert; his arms raised in understanding.</p><p> </p><p>Went walked in with Danny behind him. Going to the head of the table whereas Danny stayed towards the back.</p><p> </p><p>Before Went opened his mouth Stan spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re about to lecture us on the importance of communication I may murder you.” Stan said, “And I’d really <em>hate </em>that considering I’d like to save all that rage and death for Patrick Hockstetter.”</p><p> </p><p>Went stared at the normally calm male in shock. Stan looked like he could take Went’s head off and wouldn’t bat an eye. Eddie knew that said something about them now. When had they crossed the line into wanting to actually kill and maim?</p><p> </p><p>“We did what we thought was best given the circumstances. You would have told us to leave Roland for dead and we didn’t want to do that.” Stan told him, “While we all sometimes can’t stand each other, we’re all part of this company. That means having each other’s backs. Richie believed in that which is why he almost died!”</p><p> </p><p>“Speaking of, he’s stable as of right now.” Danny said, leaning against the wall, “He’s expected to make a full recovery. I’ll go into detail with his team after our meeting.”</p><p> </p><p>“As for the meeting.” Went said, “Ka-Tet is suspended from field duty pending evaluation of their exit strategies. We have to make sure that this never happens again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you fucking kidding me?” Cuthbert asked, “We had a solid exit strategy! We just didn’t account for Henry’s gang jumping us at the last second!”</p><p> </p><p>“Which you should have accounted for.” Went told him, disappointed, “Dreamcatcher and SBM thank you for helping The Losers with their rescue. The three teams are dismissed. You’ll both be getting missions tomorrow so rest up.”</p><p> </p><p>Chris and Gordie didn’t move when the other teams did.</p><p> </p><p>“May I help you?”</p><p> </p><p>“It isn’t fair to suspend Ka-Tet when they did the best they could under the circumstances. This could have happened to any of us.” Chris said slowly, “Stan is right. If they had told you what was going on with Roland then you would have told them to ditch him. The way they did it, everyone survived.”</p><p> </p><p>“My son was bordering on death when he arrived. Don’t tell me that the way they did it was better when we could have avoided him getting hurt.” Went snapped, as Chris flinched, “Now leave.”</p><p> </p><p>Chris stood up with Gordie and left. Eddie sniffled and wiped his eyes as the door shut behind them.</p><p> </p><p>“When Richie is okay to walk around you’ll be on a two week vacation while he recovers from the smoke inhalation and his wounds.” Went said, “He’s going to have more scars on him this time around. He lost a lot of blood which they had to do four transfusions for.”</p><p> </p><p>“What else?” Eddie said, his voice deadly, “That isn’t all that happened to him. Broken bones? Nails getting ripped out? What the fuck happened to his wrist?”</p><p> </p><p>“Upon looking at the remains from the scene we found a pair of cuffs.” Went said, “The theory that is being tossed around is Richie’s hand got caught in one and he had to get it out. There’s a self inflicted wound on his arm that backs that story up.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie felt sick to his stomach as he looked to the others who didn’t seem like they were going to ask questions except for Stan and Bev who both looked done.</p><p> </p><p>“Do we know the extent of the torture?” Stan asked.</p><p> </p><p>Went’s eyes could have burned through Stan as he scoffed.</p><p> </p><p>“From looking at him he was cut with multiple sharp instruments. He was also burnt on his back with a branding rod. That, too, is going to scar.” Went told him coldly, “It’s safe to say that this round was worse than four years ago.”</p><p> </p><p>“Four years ago wouldn’t have happened if you’d given us all the fucking information.” Beverly growled at him, “If you’d told us that FLAGG operatives were going to be in the area. And you knew, because Maggie let us know that you had the information but didn’t deem it important.”</p><p> </p><p>Went stared at her in shock as Beverly crossed her arms over her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“And this time it only happened because we’ve all been trained that if we tell you someone has been captured you’ll make us ditch them. These boys are <em>my</em> family.” Beverly said hatefully, “There isn’t a damn thing I wouldn’t do for them. And I know the feeling is mutual. According to Eddie, that’s why Richie went in the first damn place. Was because they told him in that goddamn note that if he didn’t show they’d kill Roland and come for one of us. He didn’t want that at all so he went. Maybe, just maybe, we need to change some of the rules here or you won’t have any star operatives because we’ll all be dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“Beverly.” Danny said, stepping forward, “That is a good point. We do need to change some protocols around that particular subject. Richie should have never felt obligated to go alone. We will change that in the very near future.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly didn’t look like she appreciated the sentiment as she looked away.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we go see Richie?” Ben asked, worrying his thumbnail between his teeth.</p><p> </p><p>Danny and Went looked at each other before nodding. The team standing up slowly as Beverly went to Ben who threw an arm around her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to speak with Eddie, one on one.” Danny said, as Went looked at him in shock, “He’ll catch up.”</p><p> </p><p>The Losers all froze as one; Stan hovering around Eddie’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“No offense, but the last time you talked to one of our leaders...they got a dangerous case that almost got them hurt.” Stan said, “I’d like to stay-”</p><p> </p><p>“And I’m ordering you to leave.” Danny said, staring right at Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine guys, I’ll catch up. Richie needs us.” Eddie said plainly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not leaving if you’re about to get reamed for something.” Beverly said through her teeth.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys, I’m telling you, as your friend and leader to go make sure Richie’s okay. Make sure the infirmary is clean enough to be treated in.” Eddie told them seriously, “Because if it isn’t, we’re taking him to a hospital that is.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan held Eddie’s hand tightly before letting go and leading the others out. When Went didn’t move Danny shot him a look.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m his handler.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I’m both of your boss. I outrank you, so go visit your son and make him feel like you love him for once in his life.”</p><p> </p><p>Went stared at the male in shock as did Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Maggie said she needed my help in the lab.” Went said, turning and leaving.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie shook his head in disgust and noticed the same look on Danny’s face. Eddie stood still as he waited for the male to start talking. Not understanding how Richie always looked so calm about talking to Danny.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you doing, Eddie?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at the male and shrugged, “I’m not the one that was tortured for hours.”</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t have much to say in the meeting.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m more worried about my best friend.” Eddie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, while Richie was in and out of consciousness he called for you.” Danny told him, watching Eddie’s face carefully, “Apparently Hockstetter named you as his next target. At least that is what I gathered from his mutterings. Bordering on death and still thinking of his friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like Bev said, we’re a family.” Eddie said, a little shocked, “Sir, can I ask you something?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s eyes hardened as he looked to the male. He knew he shouldn’t say what he was about to seeing as how he knew Danny well enough to know how he’d feel. However the rage he felt simmering under the surface dictated otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>“When Richie is better do we have your permission to seek out Hockstetter?”</p><p> </p><p>Danny stared at him with a tilted head. His eyes narrowing just a little bit.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t agree with personal vendettas.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is it really a personal vendetta when I just want his heart?” Eddie asked, “Since he keeps insisting on trying to take mine—ours.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny’s eyes widened just a little bit as he took a deep breath. Eddie feeling his face flush as he looked down.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think Richie would feel more comfortable if you did?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir.” Eddie told him.</p><p> </p><p>Danny chewed on his bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought your team didn’t believe in killing people?”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t until someone tried to kill Richie Tozier.” Eddie said, “That makes you rethink a few things. If it means he is safe and happy, then I’m more than willing to kill Hockstetter in cold blood.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny seemed to think about that answer as he bobbed his head a little bit.</p><p> </p><p>“Approved.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie knew he looked shocked as he sat down.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously?”</p><p> </p><p>“I agree that it would do Richie good to have Patrick Hockstetter dead and off the board.” Danny said, “And since FLAGG is being so aggressively offensive maybe we should hit back.”</p><p> </p><p>“So I have your approval to search for him when Richie is better?”</p><p> </p><p>“In between company funded missions, yes.” Danny told him easily, “Let me know when you find him and I’ll provide the back up you need to capture and terminate. This stays between me and your team. Went is not to know anything about it. I don’t think he’d agree with my decision. And I do so bore of having to explain to him I’m the boss.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stood up, “Maybe you should consider benching him and having someone else be our handler? I’d appreciate it if I had someone who cared about the people on our team more than glory.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll take it under consideration. Make sure you take care of him, Eddie.” Danny said seriously, “You never know what the future holds.”</p><p> </p><p>The shorter male nodded before he turned and left the room. He made a beeline for the elevator so he could go see Richie. He didn’t want to think of the conversation he’d just had with Danny or the slip he’d made that his boss had obviously caught.</p><p> </p><p>Hitting a button on the elevator as he crossed his arms over his chest. What he would focus on from that conversation was his boss giving the affirmative to track down and slaughter Hockstetter.</p><p> </p><p>Getting off the elevator, making his way into the infirmary and immediately regretting it when he saw Richie. He was sitting up in bed but had an oxygen mask on. The bruises on his face and neck made Eddie want to go find that bastard immediately. He tempered it down as he made his way to his best friend. Not wanting to think about the fact that Beverly moved off the bed so Eddie could have her spot.</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled at him tiredly as Eddie took his hand carefully. Not wanting to look at his wrist and arm. Self inflicted wounds meant they’d been done on purpose. It meant that Richie had been desperate to get out. It meant that they hadn’t been fast enough to help him before he’d done something potentially stupid but definitely dangerous.</p><p> </p><p>The taller male looked like he’d been put through the ringer. Richie squeezing Eddie’s hand weakly as he swallowed hard.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Eds.” Richie said softly, as Eddie felt his heart break at how rough and uneven he sounded, “Why the long face?”</p><p> </p><p>“You almost died, Chee.” Eddie said, seeing Richie flinch a little, “Guys can I have a minute?”</p><p> </p><p>Stan nodded his head as he moved the others out of the room. Almost herding them like sheep as they left the room. Eddie’s fingers caressed Richie’s hand as he shifted a little. Richie wincing at being jostled as the younger male froze.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t keep doing this.” Eddie told him suddenly, “This hero complex...I can’t keep thinking you’re going to die, Chee. This was by far the most scared I’ve ever been that I’d find your body. And then...your pulse was so weak.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh God...please don’t ever apologize for that.” Eddie said, feeling sick, “Just please be more careful. From now on if something like this happens we are going to plan the shit out of it. I don’t care who they have or what they threaten.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at Richie before squeezing his hand a little harder. His eyes dropping to the gauze on his wrist and arm.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll tell you...when I can speak better.” Richie told Eddie, as the younger male gently ran his fingers over it.</p><p> </p><p>“I was so terrified, Rich. We found your jacket and necklace on the beach with you phone and….I felt like dying. It was like another reason why I suck. Can’t even protect my best friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie squeezed Eddie’s hand and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“You did.” Richie breathed harshly, “You got me out of...there. You...saved me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not when it counted.” Eddie told him, hearing Richie sigh, “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“It counted because...” Richie trailed off to breathe a little more, “I can move past the trauma because I’m <em>alive</em>. I’m alive...because of you. It counts. Don’t feel...so guilty about this.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s bottom lip trembled as he felt his eyes burn. Richie’s arms coming around him gently in a hug. The younger male returning it as he tucked his head under Richie’s chin.</p><p> </p><p>“Went tried to convince people that he cared about you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed harshly, “Oh yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Beverly looked like she was going to eat him. She did the eyebrow twitch she gets when she wants to see blood.”</p><p> </p><p>“Remember….when she was adverse to blood?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do. Stan also threatened to murder Went.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s eyes widened, “No...way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes way. He said it’d be a shame to waste that rage on him when we could focus it...elsewhere.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you guys...going to train...while I’m here?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie shook his head at him, “We’re going to be right here, every step of your recovery Chee. I don’t want you out of my sight for longer than two minutes unless someone else is with you that I trust.”</p><p> </p><p>“So...basically our team?”</p><p> </p><p>“Chris and Gordie...maybe. Also Ka-Tet was suspended because Roland got caught.” Eddie said, “Which is shit but whatever. Went’s gonna Went every day of his life.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shook silently against him in laughter. Eddie smiled at him, sitting up and grabbing Richie’s hand again. Rubbing on the gauze gently as the older male just looked at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Promise me something?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie licked his lips and leaned their foreheads together. Not noticing how Richie stiffened slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Promise me that if you need something..anything...I don’t care what time of the day or night it is...call me. Tell me you need whatever it is. Don’t shut me out like last time okay?” Eddie asked, “I <em>know</em> it’s a lot to ask of you but...I can’t see you like that again. I want to help you. I want to help you get better.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Eddie before nodding his head slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise, Eds. Right now? I just need you to hug me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, that’s so easy. You have no idea.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie got back into his position from before. The team knocking to be let back in and Eddie telling them they could. They all crowded around the bed. Each with a hand on either Richie or Eddie as if by touching them they could heal all the pain they were all feeling.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie had a horrible feeling in the bottom of his stomach that it wasn’t over. And he hated that feeling more than anything. The fear that Richie could be hurt again.</p><p> </p><p>Resolving to ignore Danny’s orders and start searching for Patrick outside of company missions. The faster the asshole was dead the faster that look on Richie’s face would go away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie just wanted things to be easy just once.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One week.</p><p> </p><p>It took one week for Richie to get better enough to make it to the cabin. He was off oxygen and walking alright. Eddie insisted on being the one to change his bandages. Wanting to make sure first and foremost they were cleaned and placed correctly. Stan watching just in case he had to change them if Eddie was asleep or not available.</p><p> </p><p>At least that’s what they both had told him. He knew it was to see how bad the damage was. He had heard them both punch a wall after the first time they’d changed them.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure if they were mad at him for not being able to protect himself or if they were furious at Patrick. The hopeful part of him wanted it to be at Patrick.</p><p> </p><p>Currently he was curled up on the couch, looking at the fire. The others were outside playing their version of tag. There were to teams, the taggers and the runners. If a tagger caught a runner they had to freeze until another runner touched them. If all the runners were touched then the taggers won. If all the runners could survive twenty minutes without one of them being frozen then they won.</p><p> </p><p>He heard someone run in before seeing Beverly plop on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“Holy shit.” Beverly said, “You missed a sick game!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at her, “Oh yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ben fucking ate mud because Stan tagged him so hard he fell over into a mud puddle. Ten out of ten!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly, “Stan needs to work on how hard he tags.”</p><p> </p><p>“Does he if it’s always that funny when he gets someone to eat dirt?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shook his head at the red head who smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t wait until you join us for tag again.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be a while longer I think. Everything still...um...hurts.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, but I’m still excited.” Beverly told him, “The others are too. So, how are you feeling today besides sore?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shrugged his shoulders because try as he might he just...he was having a hard time not shutting down. He loved his team. They were his family, the one he chose since they were kids but this was harder to talk about than what they usually spoke of.</p><p> </p><p>“Today’s easier than yesterday.” is what he said.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s good at least.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess so.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, Ben tackled Bill and then Mike dogpiled. So now Eddie has them running suicides in the backyard for bad sportsmanship.” Stan said, walking in.</p><p> </p><p>He sat on Richie’s other side and leaned his head on the male’s shoulder. Richie laid his on top of Stan’s with a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Only Eddie would make them do that during vacation.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well that’s because he wants us to train while we’re on vacation so we don’t get rusty. He’s really paranoid about something happening.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie frowned, “Why? Because of Hockstetter? They don’t know where we are. This cabin is off the grid. It’s why we bought it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Still, he doesn’t want anything to happen to us.” Stan said softly, “I don’t think you’ll ever know how scared we all were, Rich. It’s going to make us all paranoid for a while.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know...I’m sor-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t apologize. You did what you thought was right and it saved Roland’s life. We’re not mad at you, at all. We’ve never been mad at you. All our rage is at the people who deserve it.” Beverly interrupted him seriously.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you guys.” Richie said, as Bev’s head went to his other shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>The three cuddled on the couch and Richie found he didn’t mind it at all. He loved these people more than he could ever put into words. Holding the red head’s hand as they heard the sliding door open again.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re such an asshole, Eds.” Mike whined, “Vacations mean laziness.”</p><p> </p><p>“Be lazy on your own time, not mine.” Eddie said, brow raised, “We have to be ready for anything.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie froze up when his phone buzzed. He looked at it seeing Went’s name and sighed. Breaking away from the others to grab it. Eddie stared at him as Richie settled back on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly looked like she wanted to grab his phone and throw it in the fire.</p><p> </p><p>“This is Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>How are you feeling?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie frowned and looked at the caller ID, seeing his dad’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, is this Went Tozier? I don’t think you’ve ever asked how I’m feeling.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yes well you’ve never almost died like this before.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie winced before sighing and leaning his head against the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sore and sitting with my back against anything is murder. So that’s fun I guess? Eddie’s making sure nothing is getting infected because that’s the last thing I need. How is your life”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Well your best friend Eddie got me reassigned. Your handler is now Andy.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Andy is our handler now? Why? What did Eddie do?” Richie asked, staring at his best friend who looked smug. Ice made its way down Richie’s spine; stress and anxiety eating at his nerves slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Danny spoke with him one on one. All I know is that I’m now handling the new teams that we’re activating and not the all stars.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Dad, I knew nothing of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You were unconscious at the time so I’d figured you hadn’t. But your little buddy hasn’t liked me as your handler since it was announced so he was just waiting for an in. Guess Hockstetter gave him that huh? I just wanted you to know that Andy would be in contact. You should still have his number, just forward it to the rest of the team. Bye.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Went hung up leaving Richie feeling shell shocked. Eddie came and sat in front of Richie on the coffee table. Taking the male’s phone from him and sitting it down beside him. Richie just stared at Eddie in confusion and shock.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took one of Richie’s hands in his and squeezed it tightly. The older male took his hand back and folded his hands together in his lap; ignoring the way that Eddie frowned and winced.</p><p> </p><p>“Why was Went reassigned?” Richie asked, his voice wavering.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at the others who all remained blank. They had all discussed it before Danny had wanted a one on one with him. They were eventually going to ask Danny at some point; Eddie had just sped it up significantly. They hadn’t told Richie for this reason.</p><p> </p><p>“Went doesn’t think of us as anything other than an asset. We need someone who will look at us as human beings who need breaks, vacations and just general wellness checks after things get tough. Once I knew what I did about him working here all the time when we were younger...I knew he wouldn’t be good for us.” Eddie said, watching Richie’s face close off, “We’d all talked about it, Chee. It’ll be good for you to get out of his shadow. It’ll help us all grow as individuals! It might...help you heal a little easier if he isn’t reaming you for not training.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed harshly and shook his head. He nodded his head once before he stood up; startling Beverly and Stan who frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Andy is now our handler. If you don’t know who Andy is, he was the guy that trained me in hand to hand combat when I turned nine to when we started here. He taught me how to assemble and disassemble about twenty different guns before I was twelve. He was the one that told my dad to not let up on me when it came to training. He was the one that told my dad that a personality like mine would get people killed so it’d be best to beat it out of me as soon as possible. You wonder why I’m like this now, that’s why. Every joke and comment meant punishment whether it was a slap or a beating. Hell he even made me run suicides to the point of passing out. Andy is fucking hardcore. So congratulations, you pushed Went out but now we have someone twice as bad.” Richie told them, “There is a <em>reason</em> I never tried to get my dad reassigned. The only available people were Andy and Adrian. Don just recently got assigned to The fucking Party. And I knew that Adrian didn’t have the experience to be a handler which meant Andy. There is a fucking reason I didn’t fucking move against him. I was waiting for Adrian to get more experience.”</p><p> </p><p>The shock on his team’s face almost made him think about apologizing but he couldn’t. Not for the panic attack that was wanting to fully take him over.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“You should have consulted me first!” Richie snapped, his hands fisting before he leaned down and snatched his phone up, “I would have told you all of that, Edward.”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone saw Eddie flinch at the full name as Richie licked his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“When you start taking my choices away from me, it makes you just as bad as Went. I should have been asked how I felt before you said anything to Danny.” Richie told him seriously, “Andy is a drill sergeant. Worse than Went ever has been. We’ll be training twice as much and it’ll be twice as hard to get him off our asses on mission prep. So congratulations Edward, you got what you wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to go lay down. I’m not feeling so well.” Richie said, moving towards the stairs, “And don’t get it twisted, I don’t want to talk to <em>any</em> of you.”</p><p> </p><p>He went upstairs slowly; feeling his phone buzz and looking at it when he got to the top of the stairs. Going into his room and answering the call as he went to his bed.</p><p> </p><p>He moved under the covers and curled into a ball. He stared at the wall as if it had all the answers in the world to how he was feeling. Showers weren’t helping like they had last time. Then again, he hadn’t had to deal with the stress of Andy being his handler.</p><p> </p><p>Closing his eyes and bringing his hands to his face as he pulled his glasses off. He wished, if only for a second, that he could just not feel anything. He knew that would be impossible unless he did drugs which he wasn’t planning on doing.</p><p> </p><p>Looking at the bandages on his arms and tearing his eyes away. Pulling his phone to him when it buzzed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Remember me when you sleep, babe.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt ill as he threw his phone on the carpeted floor. That was something else he didn’t know if he could handle or not. Patrick having his phone number and sending his texts each night. The male had found out that Richie had survived because they had looked over the damage. There was no body to be found. Fisting his hair and feeling tears burn his eyes. He had never felt more alone than he did in that moment.</p><p> </p><p>Letting the tears fall as he suppressed a sob; shoving the pillow in his face so he could muffle the sound.</p><p> </p><p>– – – – – – – – – – – –</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at the others who all seemed to be in different stages of shock. He was processing a lot of things at that moment. Who Andy was, the extent of the punishments Richie must have gone through and the urge to kill Went Tozier increased significantly. How could you take a child and train him to be a soldier?</p><p> </p><p>It disgusted him.</p><p> </p><p>“So that went well.” Stan said, “Good going, Eddie. I thought we’d all decided that it’d be best to wait on the Went issue.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know when I’d get another audience with Danny. It’s usually Richie that he wants to talk to.”</p><p> </p><p>“You still should have let us know after.” Beverly sighed, “Did you guys see the look on his face when he got told Andy was our handler? He looked like he’d been gutted.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wouldn’t you be too? The guy told Richie’s parents to abuse him. I’d be fucking pissed at us too.” Mike said, “Jesus, how much can a person take before they break?”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up! Richie is going to be fine!” Ben said, fear in his voice, “He isn’t going to break! He’s stronger than that!”</p><p> </p><p>“I-I don’t think that’s w-w-what he’s saying. I think he m-m-means that Richie probably c-c-can’t take much more.”</p><p> </p><p>“So he was abused by his parents then Hockstetter. Then we go behind his back and get his dad reassigned. He must be furious at us.” Mike sighed, “And did you see his face?”</p><p> </p><p>“He was closing off again.” Stan said, grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming into it, “What the fuck Eddie! We make decisions as a team! Why would you just fucking do that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you see how nonchalant Went was in the meeting? He didn’t actually give a shit that Richie was hurt!” Eddie sneered, “He just cared about how it made him look. That’s all he and Maggie every care about!”</p><p> </p><p>“It was still his decision if his Dad was the one to be his handler. Fucking Christ, I’ve never even worked with this Andy guy. Never even heard of him.” Stan told them, “I have no fucking clue who he is.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d heard of him.” Beverly said, “Only talking to Adrian and Don though. They said he’s a hard ass and kind of reminds them of Robert Gray.”</p><p> </p><p>They all paled at the name; each looking away from each other.</p><p> </p><p>“The difference is that Gray defected to FLAGG.” Eddie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah because his brother happened to be Randall.” Ben sighed, “He’s going to ice us out again.”</p><p> </p><p>“We can’t let him.” Beverly said fiercely.</p><p> </p><p>“T-There has to be a w-way for us to get him o-out of his s-s-shell.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie should probably apologize for overstepping first.” Stan said, putting his hands up when the others looked at him, “I’m being honest. You did overstep the line, Eddie. The last time I heard Richie call you Edward was when you ruined his My Chemical Romance vinyl when we all went through our emo phase. Which was almost eleven years ago. So think about that, Kaspbrak.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know I fucked up okay!”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you?” Stan asked, “I know it came from a good place but you have to think about things fully before you do them.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie ran his hands through his hair.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll get better at it. I’ll let him cool down then talk to him about it. I’m sorry guys.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, just think about it going forward.” Beverly said.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at the stairs and then to his team. Mike and Bill were talking low under their breaths.</p><p> </p><p>“So now what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go play tag some more. Give Richie the house for a little while longer.” Stan told them, leading everyone outside.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie knew he had overstepped and he felt awful about it. He’d thought it’d been the right thing to do; it was just that he was wrong.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie finally tells the truth; the team tries to figure out how to help.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hands.</p><p> </p><p>That’s the first thing he remembers is hands all over him. Hurting him all at once. Gripping and grabbing with harsh touches. Sharp pain from bites. Throbbing pain that never seemed to get better no matter how many times he tried to relax...tried to fight...tried to pull away.</p><p> </p><p>He remembers screaming at one point even though he knew no one would hear him. Patrick’s smile was noticeably crueler when he looked at him; holding his arms down even though they were chained.</p><p> </p><p>Gasping as he woke up and clutched his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked around and realized two things. He hadn’t screamed otherwise the others would have said fuck his space and come in. The other was that he wasn’t in that damned warehouse.</p><p> </p><p>He looked at his phone that was still laying on the carpet. Swallowing hard and fisting his hair as his legs pulled up. He could feel his heart pounding as he tried to breathe through his panic.</p><p> </p><p>Sliding out of bed and feeling some of his wounds ache. He saw his reflection in the mirror and licked his lips. He looked like he’d been through the ringer. Distinct fingerprints were on his neck from where Patrick had choked him. Those bruises bleeding into cuts and wounds.</p><p> </p><p>He closed his eyes and turned around. Going to his closet and pulling out a change of clothes. He wasn’t even interested in what time it was. All he wanted was to get out and run for a little bit.</p><p> </p><p>He could tell his team anything. He knew that he could. Bill would take it as a failure on his part to protect his family. Mike a slight to the blood oath they’d all made when they were younger to be there for each other. Ben would take it to heart because he always did when someone he loved got hurt.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly, Stan and Eddie would all react the same.</p><p> </p><p>They would want blood and death.</p><p> </p><p>He knew the others would join them if they knew the full extent. That Patrick had used him like he meant nothing. And maybe he did mean nothing. His parents had always treated him like that. When they had found out he had to have glasses it was just another slight against them. Until he had turned seventeen and had almost had glass break into his eye. That was when he got outfitted for contacts. He could see it in their eyes that it made him just a little better in their eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Patrick saw what they did? A waste of space.</p><p> </p><p>Richie gripped the zipper of his hoodie tightly before zipping it up. Shoving his feet in shoes before pulling the hood up. Going downstairs and outside into the morning air. The fresh air made his head feel a little less crazy. Taking a deep breath before he went towards one of the trails. One of the reasons they had chosen this cabin was because of all the private running trails. It had been a great investment.</p><p> </p><p>And now he was wondering if his friends saw him as an annoyance like his parents. Stumbling into a tree as he felt his anxiety rise a little more. He tried not to think about it. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts before he shoved back and went to job down the path again.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes he wondered why Went and Maggie hadn’t drowned him when he was younger. The way they treated him spoke more than words ever could. He knew that Went had told him he’d been a mistake. That he and Maggie had figured they could shape to live up to their family name. The Tozier’s weren’t known for failure...until now.</p><p> </p><p>He still remembered the look on their faces four years ago when he’d been saved from that hellhole. Saw the disappointment bleeding into disgust. It had been directed at him, he had no doubt in his mind that they had wished then they’d just gotten rid of him.</p><p> </p><p>When he’d met the Losers, it had made his life better. They all had something to give and something they needed from all of them. Their own little family away from all the craziness of Derry. He wondered for a moment if their old clubhouse was still there.</p><p> </p><p>He knew that they’d hated Went as their handler. He just wished they would have told him. Andy didn’t play around and he didn’t care what Richie’s trauma was. At least Went cared a little bit about making sure his son didn’t have a panic attack.</p><p> </p><p>Coming to a stop at a clearing and looking at the sunshine breaking through the tree branches. Richie took a deep breath as he made his way to a rock and sat down.</p><p> </p><p>He knew in his heart that his friends loved him; would do anything for him. His brain, on the other hand, was having such a hard time accepting it.</p><p> </p><p>Richie shut his eyes tightly for a moment as tears burned his eyes. Pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes as he bit his lip hard.</p><p> </p><p>There was no doubt in his mind that he’d never be good enough for Eddie because he’d been raped.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling tears escape when that word entered his mind. He’d tried his hardest not to think about that one word but it was true. He hadn’t been able to stop it and he had to stop trying to deny it. It wouldn’t help him with Andy because knowing the fucker he’d bring it up to him when they were alone. It was like that asshole enjoyed shaming him.</p><p> </p><p>Standing up and wiping the tears away before he went back to the trail. Running back towards the cabin. He needed a drink and a shower.</p><p> </p><p>He concentrated on how his feet hit the dirt and rocks. How the wind hit his face as he listened to the soft noises that the birds were making. Getting to their backyard and seeing the lights were on which meant someone was awake. He just had no clue who.</p><p> </p><p>Opening the door and shutting it quietly. Seeing Eddie and Beverly in the kitchen cooking breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>He went to the sink and made himself a glass of water. Sipping it as he turned around. Both of them were looking at him. Beverly smiling tightly as she flipped a pancake.</p><p> </p><p>“You hungry, Rich?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Not really.” Richie said, finishing his water, “I’m going to shower.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, can we please talk?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Eddie before he set his glass down on the counter.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not really in the mood for talking. Like I said, I’m going to shower.”</p><p> </p><p>“But we need to talk about last night.” Eddie said, “About your dad and what you said.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing to talk about. It’s over and done with.” Richie told him, “Andy is our handler now and we can’t change that.”</p><p> </p><p>“But you’re still pissed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you blame me? It feels like you waited for me to be out of commission to get my dad transferred. That’s a shitty feeling. You and I have always been one hundred percent honest with each other and it feels like you lied to me. And I <em>hate</em> thinking that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t want to tell you that I felt like your dad was holding us back. That he wasn’t treating us the way he should.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sighed, “Then you should have told me that instead of talking to everyone else. When you stop communicating with me is when the team starts having issues.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like you’ve been communicating with us?” Eddie asked, “You haven’t told us shit about what happened. You promised me that if I asked you that you’d tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him and opened his mouth. Closing it as he shut his eyes and thought for a moment. He wanted to tell Eddie to get fucked but he couldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>He had promised that he would. He didn’t like breaking promises or lying to his friends. It was one of the things he’d always sworn not to do. Even if he hated the consequences of telling the truth. Hiding things from them because he’d been ordered to was one thing...this was something else entirely.</p><p> </p><p>“Then ask.” Richie said, voice alarmingly calm.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly looked at him after she’d taken the pan off the burner. She glanced at Eddie with a look of caution in her eyes; not that the male saw her. She started setting the table for the others.</p><p> </p><p>“What has happened between you and Patrick?” Eddie asked, “Last time and this time. All of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“He tortured me as you damn well know.” Richie said, “This time was worse than last time. He hurt me worse than I’ve ever been before. His hands were everywhere at once, always hurting me. And if that wasn’t bad enough...he raped me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie flinched when Beverly dropped the dishes. The loud crash was deafening as Eddie looked at him in pain. The red haired woman across the island stared at Richie like she wanted to hug him but didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. He could always trust Beverly to never treat him differently.</p><p> </p><p>“After last time, I have some experience in recovering from it. Went and Maggie were very firm about going to a psychologist. Then again, they didn’t want it to get out that I was having panic attacks. That meant someone connecting the dots. They couldn’t have that sort of stain on the Tozier name.” Richie said, almost monotonously, “You both saw those panic attacks as did Stan. You just thought, ‘oh it’s trauma from being tortured’ which was partially true. I was told explicitly by Went and Danny not to tell you guys. Anyone that knew could tell someone else. And then it would get around that one of MATURIN’s poster boys was damaged goods. They didn’t want that to happen. I agreed that it would be detrimental to what we were doing if it got out. So I didn’t say anything and went to therapy. I’ll be fine just like I was last time. Just a few nightmares, that’s all.”</p><p> </p><p>Except last time he didn’t have Patrick blowing his phone up at all hours of the night and day. Making little comments that hurt him more than knives in his skin. He thought about telling them that but didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie.” Stan said.</p><p> </p><p>Richie finally noticed the other Losers at the base of the stairs. They looked at him like he’d broken their hearts. He swallowed hard before smiling tightly at them.</p><p> </p><p>“This changes nothing. I’m still your co-leader and in certain situations your actual leader. I’ll be fine just like I was last time.” Richie said softly, “If you start treating me differently then that will hurt my progress so keep that in mind. If you can’t then just forget you heard it. Now can I go shower or is that not okay either?”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you...um..healthy?” Stan asked, wincing.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m one hundred percent healthy as a horse. He didn’t give me anything.” Richie said roughly, “That was one of the first things Went did was test me for literally everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow so he showed you compassion for once.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Wouldn’t do well for the Tozier name if I got sick like that. There’d be too many questions.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maggie and Went are awful but that can’t be the only reason.” Ben said.</p><p> </p><p>“It is. Trust me when I tell you that. They’ve been part of MATURIN since Danny created the company. Everyone in our world knows who the Tozier’s are. Why do you think Randall wanted me dead instead of alive? Why he told Patrick to burn me. It was to send a message to Danny and everyone else. That even legends can die.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s the truth. Went talked to me about it when I woke up in the infirmary. It’s why I’m starting to train again. Starting with a run this morning and I’ll probably go swimming out back later. Seriously though guys, please just keep things normal. I promise you I’ll be fine, it’ll take a few more weeks but I’ll get there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are we allowed to hug you and try to talk to you about it?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Talking, I don’t feel like doing that. But you can hug me.” Richie said slowly, “After I shower because I feel disgusting.”</p><p> </p><p>“You aren’t.” Beverly said, smiling at him, “You’re still just Richie Tozier, our Trashmouth.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Beverly and swallowed painfully. Nodding his head at her before moving around the broken glass to hug her.</p><p> </p><p>He leaned his head against her shoulder and felt her tightly hug him.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going to kill Patrick Hockstetter.” Eddie told Richie, who looked at him, “You’re right that we always tell each other the truth. I talked to Danny about trying to find Patrick during our down time so we could kill him. Danny gave approval but it has to be in between missions.”</p><p> </p><p>They all looked at Richie like he was going to blow up but he just stared at them. He could see how serious Eddie was about it. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it.</p><p> </p><p>“No offense, Eds...I want that pleasure myself.” Richie said slowly, “I think if anyone deserves to end his life, it’s me.”</p><p> </p><p>“We want to h-h-help though.” Bill said gently.</p><p> </p><p>“And you guys can. But when it comes to actually killing...that’s all me.” Richie told them.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll hold him down.” Stan informed Richie who smiled at him, “He’ll never see us coming.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hope he doesn’t.” Richie said, “That was...a lot heavier than I expected. Then again, I was planning on never telling you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know if you guys would treat me differently...if you’d blame me for it. Think that I was weak. There were a lot of things I thought you’d do and say in my head. Went didn’t help with that and neither did Maggie. But, I’ll be down in a little while. You guys enjoy breakfast.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved past the others as he went upstairs. Getting to his room and shutting the door as he looked at his phone. It was still laying in the same spot as he went to it. Turning it over in his hand and watching it light up with messages.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing messages from his parents as well as Patrick. Opening the ones from his parents. Went wanted to know when he’d be back in Los Angeles whereas Maggie wanted to know why he’d allowed his team members to get Went reassigned.</p><p> </p><p>He deleted them without replying. Opening Patrick’s and frowning at them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So when are we going to meet up next, Chee?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He hated more than anything that Patrick had started using Eddie’s nickname for him. He, however, refused to let him taint the name.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You know I could just as easily find Wheezy?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He dropped his phone and backed up. Taking deep breaths as he rubbed his face with his hands. Ignoring the electronic as he went to the bathroom to shower. He had his team with him; they’d protect him from Patrick.</p><p> </p><p>– – – – – – – – – – – –</p><p> </p><p>Eddie watched Richie go upstairs and turned to Beverly who was sweeping up the glass. Ben helping her pick it up with a dustpan in hand. The others slowly making the table as they all digested another round of information. Bill setting a juice glass down a little too hard.</p><p> </p><p>“Are we going to talk about the fact that Richie isn’t eating?” Bill asked, no stutter in his voice but the anger was clear, “We swore we weren’t going to let him do the same shit he did last time. It started like this. He stopped eating, then stopped sleeping.”</p><p> </p><p>“Went and Maggie made him see someone.” Stan said, “We’ll talk to him about going back. We won’t let it get-”</p><p> </p><p>“We won’t be back in civilization for another week and a half, Stanley.” Mike said, rolling his eyes, “The not eating thing is kind of pressing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just because he skips one meal doesn’t mean anything.” Stan said, “You guys are making a mountain out of a molehill. He just went on a run. I don’t like eating after I just exercised, it makes me want to puke.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s...a fair point.” Ben said, “Plus he ate last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“He loves pancakes.” Beverly pointed out, “He never turns them down even after working out. Hello, how many times have we gone out to eat after?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey guys, not to be a buzzkill but don’t you think we’re focusing on the wrong thing here?” Eddie asked, “Our best friend just told us he was raped by one of our worst enemies. And you’re focused on the fact that he isn’t eating. I’m not shocked he isn’t if I just unloaded all that baggage on us.”</p><p> </p><p>“He doesn’t want us to treat him differently.”</p><p> </p><p>“And we aren’t going to. What we are going to do however, is talk about this. He’s going to have nightmares according to what he said.” Eddie said, “How do we help that without it seeming like we’re treating him differently?”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly leaned on the broom, “We ignore the fact that he had a nightmare and ask him to do something with us if we’re around. Regardless of what it is. That way he isn’t embarrassed and we aren’t treating him out of the norm.”</p><p> </p><p>“That would work.” Ben said softly, “How are we going to find Patrick?”</p><p> </p><p>“Already ahead of you. Ka-Tet during their suspension has assured me they are going to locate him come hell or high water.” Eddie told them, “They’re out for blood considering what happened to Richie. And because they kidnapped Roland to begin with. They’ll get back to us with what they find when we’re back in Los Angeles. SBM, on the other hand are going to try to figure out a way to keep tabs on Henry Bowers and his gang. We have more allies on our side than we originally thought. Dreamcatcher even wants to see them go down and they hate all of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“But Richie wants to kill Patrick.” Stan said, sighing, “I’ve...never seen that look on his face before. I didn’t like it. He looked—”</p><p> </p><p>“Broken? Richie always used to say that when we started wanting to kill that was when the job became our life. I think we’ve all crossed that line, recently.” Beverly finished.</p><p> </p><p>“The fact that he hid all of this from us this time and four years ago...I really want to punch Went.” Eddie told them, “How he could talk Richie into just...suffering in silence is just mind blowing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, Richie said it best. He’s a Tozier, Eds.” Bill said, “Which before we started at MATURIN meant jack shit but now that we’re here? Everyone knows his last name. Went and Maggie were star operatives before they had to be retired from field work because of his shredded ACL and her snapped Achilles tendon. But they still made that last name be feared. Having Richie follow in their footsteps makes sense even if we hate them.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll never treat my children like they did Richie.” Beverly said fiercely, “Like honestly fuck that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think we all agree with you, Bev. We aren’t Richie though...he’s always tried to impress his parents and make them proud.” Eddie said, “Hell...me, Stan and Bill know that better than any of you. You didn’t have to see him when he was seven go up to them with a blue ribbon for a science fair just to be told it wasn’t good enough, what was his time on the mile. That’s shit that a seven year old shouldn’t have to deal with. And this is coming from someone who had a mother who lied to him about being ill most of my life. Now that he’s told us...it’s so easy to see all of it in retrospect.”</p><p> </p><p>The others said nothing but Eddie knew they agreed with him. Eddie sighed as he leaned against the island before pulling his hands down.</p><p> </p><p>“Bill, can you go into town and see if you can rent a few movies from the library since the wifi here is shit for streaming?” Eddie asked, “We can get some horror movies, some of our favorites and cook a really nice dinner. Get some alcohol and just have a genuine vacation like we were trying to before all this shit started?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mike and Ben you guys want to come with? We can do some grocery shopping too.” Bill shrugged, as the other two nodded, “You, Bev and Stan can set up charades and other party games for us to play. Make sure the place is clean enough that we can eat in the living room without Eddie throwing a fit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good. We can start after breakfast. We need more dishes though since I broke seven.” Beverly said, “Wasn’t expecting...what he said.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fine, we can grab that while we’re out too.” Stan said, hugging Beverly, “We’re going to make sure that Richie doesn’t think about anything but fun while we’re here. We can train, sure, but fun is the main objective. That way he doesn’t have to waste another fucking thought on Patrick fucking Hockstetter.”</p><p> </p><p>The others nodded their heads and for the first time since they’d pulled Richie from the fire they thought that maybe they could handle this situation.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie felt he could be the kind of co-leader that Richie deserved to have. They just had to make sure to keep the older male’s mind off of all things work and Patrick.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Even though they're on vacation they still have to train.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie stared at his phone a few days later when it vibrated. He was watching the others train in the backyard. Correcting their form when they needed it. However, he’d gone without his phone for three days and had been asked about it. Therefore, his phone was now next to him.</p><p> </p><p>Watching Eddie go into a handstand and stay in it.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay so your legs need to line up more with your ears. That’s why it’s throwing you off.” Mike said.</p><p> </p><p>“Try it out on Bill.” Richie said, as Bill paled, “Bill, you’ll be fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hate that m-m-move so much and Eddie’s the only one t-t-that does it.” Bill whined.</p><p> </p><p>Richie just gave him a look as the male sighed. Eddie flipping to his feet easily. He’d been having trouble with adding a little something to his signature move. They all weren’t sure what it was though.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s because Eddie uses it effectively, Bill. That’s why you hate it and it’s why he does it.”</p><p> </p><p>Watching Eddie run at Bill; going into the handstand flip. His legs wrapped around Bill’s neck easily before he jerked himself up. Fake punching Bill before throwing himself back. His hands hitting the ground and curving his body down. He slammed Bill’s body into the ground as Richie nodded his head slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“That was a <em>lot</em> better than the first attempt. You still need to get a better grip on the neck otherwise you can be thrown off.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Show me?” Eddie breathed out, rolling his wrist, “I thought I had the right pressure.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie ignored his phone before going to Bill who was standing up.</p><p> </p><p>“Mike or Ben have to do it now.” Bill said, rubbing his back.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll do it.” Mike laughed softly, “Come on, Rich.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie imitating the move Eddie did and tightening his thighs at the right time. Mike hitting the ground hard as he let out a small grunt of pain. Eddie frowned as he stared at the older male. Shrugging his shoulders as Richie let out a sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys, you’re done for today. Eddie and I are going to finish up. Go ahead and order dinner and we can watch a movie.”</p><p> </p><p>The others filed out of the backyard. Eddie looking at him with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“Handstand.” Richie said, as Eddie stared at him, “Eds, handstand.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie moved into a handstand easily. Keeping steady as Richie moved in a circle around him. Eddie’s hands stayed firm on the ground; the older male stopping behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, wrap your legs around my neck.” Richie said, as Eddie’s legs did just that, “Now show me how you tighten them usually.”</p><p> </p><p>Feeling the pressure around his throat and frowning.</p><p> </p><p>“Tighter.” Richie told him, feeling it increase, “Better but still needs to be a little stronger.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie tightening his legs as much as he could as Richie smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s good. Now do the move.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“At least the top part. If it makes you feel any better I’ll fight back and show you how you can be counterattacked?” Richie asked, as Eddie nodded, “Ready? Go!”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie moved his body up as he sat up on Richie’s shoulders. The older male grabbing Eddie’s upper thighs and lifting him. Twisting his body and dropping him carefully to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Your legs untightened, you do that in a fight and you’ll end up getting killed.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stood up slowly as he went at Richie again. Attempting to do the move again and being tossed right back onto the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Handstand.” Richie snapped, as Eddie did just that.</p><p> </p><p>Richie put his hands on Eddie’s thighs.</p><p> </p><p>“All the power is coming from your calves, not your thighs. It <em>has</em> to come from your thighs. What do you think of when you do the move? Precision? Accuracy?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think about protecting the people I love from whatever might hurt them.” Eddie said, readjusting a hand as he squirmed under Richie’s hands, “How thirty seconds can end everything for us.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s hand felt heavy on his thigh as the male sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Squeeze your thighs on my hand.” Richie said, sliding his hand in between, “Squeeze.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie did; trying to keep his mind on the exercise.</p><p> </p><p>“Why can you squeeze accurately on my hand and neck but not during the actual drill?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—I don’t want to hurt you.” Eddie said, seeing Richie’s face darken.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, don’t worry about hurting me. Think about it like this, what if you were doing this move to Patrick Hockstetter or Henry Bowers? What if you were doing it to Randall Flagg?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s eyes narrowed, “I-”</p><p> </p><p>Gasping when Richie pushed him out of the handstand. Eddie’s spine curling to soften the blow as he got to his feet.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie watched as Richie circled him. Eddie would admit that the most uncomfortable he ever got in practice was when his best friend did this. He felt like prey to Richie then and that was the worst feeling in the world.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think for one second that if you hesitate that you won’t get killed by Patrick? I know Danny told you that Patrick called you out as the next victim. You know how you stop that? Be better than him. Better than me.”</p><p> </p><p>“No one’s better than you, Chee. It’s why you’re our leader.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>Richie scoffed, “If I was better I would have gotten out of the building by myself. Handstand.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie sighed and went back into it. Feet planted firmly like roots as Richie circled him again. His neck straining as he tried to keep track of where he was.</p><p> </p><p>“Do me a favor?” Richie asked, “Don’t worry about hurting me. I have to know you can do this move, Eds...please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, you were just tortured a week ago-”</p><p> </p><p>“And do you really think that our enemies will go easy on me if they know that? We have to work through the pain of our injuries, you know that.” Richie said, “Don’t worry about hurting me, I’ll be fine, Spaghetti.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Eddie breathed out.</p><p> </p><p>Richie placing the practice knives on either side of Eddie’s head. The younger male felt ice creep down his spine as he looked at them and then Richie who was circling him again.</p><p> </p><p>“Bill and Mike are bigger than Patrick and Henry. They’re usually not in the crosshairs. You and I are, which means we have to up our training. Andy will want us to show that we did something other than sit around doing nothing this vacation. Show him you improved your signature move. You added more of a lethal tone to it. I already talked to Maggie about getting you cuffs with darts of poison that will shoot out. If you can master it then you can add that to it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie didn’t know what to say to that.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t and won’t let anything happen to you Eds. I promised you that when I told you about what my parents actually did for a living.” Richie said softly, “Go into the splits.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie listening and following Richie’s instructions.</p><p> </p><p>“Hold that right there.” Richie said, kneeling in front of Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>He pushed down on Eddie’s thigh to make his legs even. He kept his hand there and looked at Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“How does that feel?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie swallowed, “Good.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now do a handstand with the knives. You’ll have to get used to the uneven surface.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie moved his hands over the knives and gripped them. Richie smiled at him proudly and it made warmth spread through Eddie. The darker haired male’s hand was still on his thigh and it was starting to distract him.</p><p> </p><p>Being this close to Richie in practice always distracted him though if he was honest.</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded as he moved his hand, “Now, come at me with the practice knives. Come at me like I’m an enemy, Eds. I have to make sure you have this move down. Ben’s right in that you’re the only one small and flexible enough to successfully do the move.”</p><p> </p><p>“You did it just fine.” Eddie said, flipping onto his feet.</p><p> </p><p>Kneeling and grabbing the knives more firmly as he looked up at Richie who smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but I was slow and clumsy. You’re graceful and quick, you know that. Now...come on.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie ran at Richie and put his hands on the ground. His legs wrapping around Richie’s neck firmly before he curled up and shoved the practice knives on either side of Richie’s neck. Jerking back and getting his hands on the ground as he curled his body to slam the older male’s body into the ground more efficiently.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit, Chee are you okay?” Eddie asked, “I did that a little too-”</p><p> </p><p>“That was perfect.” Richie said, from the ground, “How’d it feel?”</p><p> </p><p>“Good. Like I had control of the move not the other way around like its been all day.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s because you had perfect control once you let your fear go.” Richie told him, “I know you guys worry about hurting each other but we’re going to be hurt one way or another. FLAGG will not care if we’re hurt when they fight us.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded as he spun the knives in his hands. Richie smiled at him before he tilted his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Careful Spaghetti, I may be hurt but I’ll still kick your ass in weapon to weapon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Put your money where your mouth is, Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly out of the side of his mouth before nodding. Going and grabbing the sai from the bag of weapons they had. Tossing a set to Eddie who dropped the practice knives to the grass.</p><p> </p><p>“Just remember, you asked for this.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Remember, I’m quick and graceful.” Eddie teased, as Richie laughed, “You’re clumsy and slow?”</p><p> </p><p>“For that particular move. And I’ve been working on a few new moves myself, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just spun the sai in his hands before Richie mimicked him. The older male moving slowly in a semi-circle as Eddie watched his feet.</p><p> </p><p>The younger lunging at him as Richie blocked lunges with even parries. Tossing one of his blades high in the air as he grabbed one of Eddie’s wrists. Flipping the male onto the ground as he caught the blade; stabbing down as Eddie moved quickly. Rolling to his feet as he backed up.</p><p> </p><p>“When did you learn to flip someone at the wrist? Last I saw you sucked at that move.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, about that, I just let you guys think that.” Richie said, “We, as leaders, need to have moves up our sleeves to pull out during practice. Keeps the others on their toes. Makes them want to learn the counter moves.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded as he moved at Richie again. Being blocked as Richie ducked under a stab; curling under his arm and curving his body to be behind Eddie. Grabbing the younger male’s arms with the sai’s locked in place. Pulling them up as he put his mouth next to Eddie’s ear.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that about quick and graceful?” Richie teased softly; his breath tickling Eddie’s ear.</p><p> </p><p>The male shoved Richie’s arms away as he turned to clash blades with him. His best friend blocking each hit; as loathe as Eddie hated to admit it they were evenly matched if they just did weapons.</p><p> </p><p>The clang of metal was comforting in a way that Eddie would never be able to describe. It meant that he wasn’t losing. He’d never lose if he had Richie and the Losers.</p><p> </p><p>Ducking under a blade and shoving one up as Richie danced away from the weapon expertly. Eddie chasing after him as Richie came at him first. The younger male running and sliding underneath Richie’s legs. He turned quickly and kicked a leg out as he watched the older male go down. Turning it into a tumble as he got back to his feet instantly. Turning and blocking a sai from Eddie with a sharp grin.</p><p> </p><p>This was where their comfort zone was in training. It was with each other while the other Losers paired up with each other. Eddie remembered days upon days during boot camp where he and Richie would fight each other. The only other people to keep up with them were Chris and Roland.</p><p> </p><p>Gasping when Richie dropped down; kicking Eddie’s legs out from under him. His body hit the ground as the older male rolled on top of him. Knocking his sai away as Eddie grabbed Richie’s wrist and squeezed just hard enough for him to lose grip of the weapons. Rolling them over as Richie’s leg came up and curled around Eddie’s waist. Jerking them to roll again as he held the younger male’s wrists above his head. Both of them were panting; Richie’s face close enough to Eddie’s that it made him dizzy. He could smell the coffee on his best friend’s breath. Could see the flecks of grey in Richie’s eyes as the older male smiled down at him.</p><p> </p><p>“That was good, Eds.” Richie praised, “Had me on my toes there for a second. But then you started drifting.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie breathed heavily, “I was thinking about boot camp. How Went would make us fight each other or Chris and Roland.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s face lit up, “Shit, Chris is a vicious little thing when he feels cornered.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like Roland is any better.” Eddie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at Eddie’s lips and then his eyes before the door opened to the cabin. Eddie felt a swoop in his stomach at the look. Like Richie was looking for the right words to say about something.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys done training?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved off of the younger male easily. Offering a hand that Eddie took immediately. Hauling him up as Beverly tilted her head at them.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys order food?”</p><p> </p><p>“Duh, it’ll be here in an hour.” Beverly told him, “In the meantime, Stan has made mojitos and laid out some shots. I figured we worked hard so we could play hard.”</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed.” Richie said, “I’ll be in in a second. Just need a moment of fresh air before we start drinking. Eddie, can you grab mine for me and I’ll meet you at the loveseat?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie smiled widely and nodded; leading Beverly inside as Richie grabbed his phone. Taking a deep breath as he forced himself to calm down. Looking at the texts on his phone and sighing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I miss the way you scream.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Delete.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I miss the way you bleed.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Delete.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>If you don’t answer me soon I’ll just find little Eddie.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie hesitated before kissing his teeth. He knew Patrick was crazy enough to do it. Knew it without even a moment’s hesitation.</p><p> </p><p>Watching his friends inside as they all congregated in the living room. Tapping out a message to Patrick.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What do you want?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sending it without hesitation before pocketing it. He was scared of what the reply would be but it would be worth it if it meant that Patrick kept his focus on him and not Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie! Come on!”</p><p> </p><p>He moved to go inside. Changing his settings on his phone so that he would a. have a password to open his phone and b. his text messages wouldn’t show without opening his phone first. He wanted to keep this to himself for the time being. He didn’t want to worry his friends just yet when they were finally starting to relax.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Being back at work was about as disheartening as Richie thought it would be.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was very telling the way that Andy watched them when they were training back at MATURIN. He wasn’t impressed by what they were showing him. Richie ducking under Eddie’s fist as he maneuvered around him. Kicking out a leg as Eddie went down. Andy was watching them with all the seriousness as someone grading them to go into the field. Hearing clapping as they all stopped in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, Eddie your left leg is weaker than your right. Work on that, it’s pathetic. Beverly, you need to work on your footwork it’s sloppier than a first years. I don’t care if you’re extraction or not. There may be a time you’re needed in the field. Bill? What the hell is your right hook? No wonder the people you punch don’t stay down, you need to use a punching bag and figure that out. Mike, you favor your left side, you need to make sure not to have that kind of weakness. Stan? The next time you throw a knife, say it with me, aim. Ben, what in the hell is wrong with your uppercut?”</p><p> </p><p>They all looked at him like he was insane. Richie seeing the looks on their faces as they looked away from their new handler.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, you know what I’m going to say.” Andy said, giving him a once over, “I don’t care if you’re injured or not. Wince like that again and I’ll make sure you feel your wounds tenfold when I slice one back open and rub salt in it. These are all things you all should’ve been told by your last handler but I guess Went has gotten soft in his old age.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll work on it.” Richie said, putting a hand up to quieten his team who seemed close to snapping, “Thank you for your criticism. We’ll keep practicing for another hour. Thank you, Andy.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy just smiled at them before turning and leaving. Richie turning to face his friends who all stared at him like he was nuts.</p><p> </p><p>“He helped train you when you were younger? He’s such a fucking prick!” Stan exclaimed, “What the fuck?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do I favor my left side?” Mike asked Bill, who just kissed his forehead, “I didn’t know I did that!”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t typically.” Richie told him, “You’re just nervous, we all were.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly just frowned at him, “I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I miss Went.”</p><p> </p><p>“Better the devil you know.” Stan said softly, “Fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll talk to Danny.” Richie said, “Maybe he’ll make a special case for Adrian.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know, guys...I’m sorry.” Eddie told them.</p><p> </p><p>“You had no way of knowing. Now, let’s focus on training. He’ll come back to check on us.” Richie said, “Stan, Mike and Bill go ahead to the boxing gym next door. Beverly and Ben head on to lift weights. I’m going to work with Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>They all nodded and headed out. Richie turning to Eddie when the door shut and tilting his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not doing anything!” Eddie exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re feeling guilty and you need to quit it. If I didn’t know who would’ve become our handler I would have done it myself.” Richie told him, “Come on, defensive stance two.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie got into the position easily as Richie looked at Eddie’s left leg. Kneeling down and putting pressure on the leg as Eddie moved it just a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Real talk? Your left leg is weaker but it’s an easy fix.” Richie told him, “You favor your dominant leg which makes sense. However, given your signature move? It’s not a good enough reason for Andy. And if this was his only complaint it means we’re good. Now follow through with my hand.”</p><p> </p><p>His other hand going to Eddie’s upper thigh and bending his left leg low. Eddie went with it; trusting that the older male would keep him steady. Letting Richie do the work as he put pressure on the leg.</p><p> </p><p>“Why did you never tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>“One of your legs being weaker than the other is normal in fighting.” Richie said smoothly, paying attention to the way that Eddie’s leg bent, “It’s like your left hand being weaker than your right because it’s the dominant or vice versa. That being said if your opponent notices it then it’s easier to take you down. I’ve never used it against you and never intend to. But Andy will so that means making you one hundred percent untouchable. Then we work on the rest of the Losers.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at him, “If I ask you something will you tell the truth? Is that deal still on the table?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie made Eddie stay bent as he looked him in the eyes. His hand trailing up to Eddie’s hip and turning it just a little. Eddie went with it but the discomfort on his face was clear from the new position.</p><p> </p><p>“Ask.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did Andy...did he hurt you when you were younger?”</p><p> </p><p>“Andy’s way of training a young recruit was to punish them if they didn’t get a move right or if they failed a communication test. I kept getting extraction and evacuation mixed up and he never let me forget it.” Richie said, “Long story short, yes. He’s also the one who told Went I needed a firm hand.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not.” Richie told him, looking up, “If I hadn’t been trained like that I would have died in that building, Eds. As it is, dying wasn’t an option for me. How could it be when Patrick threatened you?”</p><p> </p><p>Turning Eddie’s hip again and curving his right leg just a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Keep that pose.” Richie said, standing up and going behind Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Your selflessness is kind of...infuriating.” Eddie told him honestly, “You got...hurt and you’re acting like everything is just...business as usual.”</p><p> </p><p>“One of the first things Maggie taught me. Never let a weakness shine through because it will be used against you and most likely at the most inopportune time. If this was four years ago, I’d one hundred percent not be okay with any of this. That being said...I lived. How many of Patrick’s victims can say that? Not many.” Richie shrugged, smoothing out Eddie’s bent knee, “Hold that...right there.”</p><p> </p><p>“But what if...what if you wanted to get into a relationship? Wouldn’t that cast a shadow on it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve only ever been interested in one person, Eds. I don’t think they’ll ever be interested in me like that.” Richie said, “Now, bend your left leg a little more. You’re building muscle in it. We’re going to have to do this multiple times over the next two weeks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Have you told them that?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at him, “What’s the point? If I told them it wouldn’t do any good except break my heart. Do you know how many times a heart can break before it never comes back together? I’d rather not find out.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at him with hurt in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee-”</p><p> </p><p>“Now kick out with that leg.” Richie said, tapping his left leg, “Keep it in the air.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie swinging that leg out and up; keeping it level with his body. The strain in the muscles almost made him drop it. Richie standing up and holding his leg for him. Eddie readjusting as he looked at his best friend. Richie pointing his foot out; keeping pressure on the muscle on his thigh.</p><p> </p><p>“Keep balance, I’m taking your leg up.” Richie warned before raising Eddie’s leg higher, “How’s that feel?”</p><p> </p><p>“Burns.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good, it means the muscles are waking up.” Richie said, “So what do you want to do tonight?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie tilted his head, “Did we make plans?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve been like a shadow the last two weeks, I figured you’d want to come over.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m down to come over. I don’t know what I want to do though.”</p><p> </p><p>“We could always start another show?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good to me.” Eddie said, wincing, “Okay, now it’s really burning.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie rose his leg higher and turned to stand in between the leg and Eddie’s front.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me when you start feeling blood rush.”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know how to do this?” Eddie asked, “We were in the same fighting classes together-”</p><p> </p><p>“Went taught me how to fight before then. My right side was weaker and we did this every single day, seven times a day for three weeks. It sucked but it helped my fighting. I never thought you’d need it but I don’t want to hear Andy bitch you out about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie thought about what Richie said, not for the first time, wondering just how much his best friend had hidden from all of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Blood is rushing to my lower body.” Eddie said, as Richie lowered his leg, “How old were you?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie straightened Eddie’s leg, paying attention to the way it shivered, “Nine. It wasn’t the best time in the world, no lie. Went would jerk my ass out of bed at three am to start.”</p><p> </p><p>He finally lowered Eddie’s leg, going with it as he made it go into the same stance as before. Rubbing feeling back into the thigh as Eddie let out a soft sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“I know it hurts, I’m sorry.” Richie told him softly, “If you do squats or something though it’ll take a lot longer to build the muscle you need. Plus you’re more of an aerial fighter so you need lighter toned muscles to match the right leg.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie rubbing his calf as Eddie groaned softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I never knew how much tension was in my calves before I started fighting.” Eddie said, to cover up the groan, “It gets fucking painful.”</p><p> </p><p>“Try running a mile with both your legs feeling like this.” Richie said, “You look like a newborn deer, all wobbly knees.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie laughed softly, “I can imagine.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie straightened Eddie’s left leg, “We’ll do this again at my place tonight. Just make sure you bring comfortable clothes over. Doing them in jeans is fucking awful.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were serious about the three times a day?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie snorted, “Yeah Eds. Trust me, it’s easier to just do the extra bit of training even in our off time if it means you’re off Andy’s radar.”</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t even wince that much and you were on his?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s because Andy was Went and Maggie’s handler before they had me. He blames me for them having to retire from field work.” Richie said softly, “He trained them when they were originally tapped at the wonderful age of twelve. Molded the both of them into the killers they became. Gave them advice on how to handle me and my mouth.”</p><p> </p><p>“Twelve?” Eddie breathed, “What the hell?”</p><p> </p><p>“They didn’t get out into the field until they were eighteen. My parents were too happy about it actually.” Richie said, “And then fourteen years later I came along and it pissed them all three off. Maggie told me that more than once they thought about aborting me. They wanted to be in the field a little longer.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad they didn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just smiled at Eddie as he stood up and went to his bag. Eddie following after him as he grabbed his bottle of water.</p><p> </p><p>“So what were you thinking for dinner?” Richie asked, changing the subject.</p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking that we should go to the store and grab the makings for spaghetti.” Eddie said, smirking as Richie just gaped at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t...know if you’re being serious or not? If you are, I’m so fucking down. If not, what do you actually want?”</p><p> </p><p>“Spaghetti.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie hugged Eddie unexpectedly as the younger male laughed. Letting Richie get it out of his system.</p><p> </p><p>“We never get to eat your spaghetti anymore! This is the best news I’ve gotten today!” Richie said loudly, “We can’t tell the others. They’ll want to come over and that’s less than me!”</p><p> </p><p>“Jeez Richie, you’re acting like you haven’t had it in years.” Eddie laughed, “It’s been a few months.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly! We’re ditching early to go. Come on! I’ll tell the others.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about Andy?”</p><p> </p><p>“Who cares? He’s going to say we haven’t made any progress anyways. Let’s just cut out the bitching.” Richie told him, heading towards the gym, “Go tell Bev and Ben?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded as he headed towards where the pair had disappeared to. Entering and watching Bev working on her footing. Ben critiquing her gently as he watched.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey guys, we’re ditching per Richie. Have a good night!”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly and Ben didn’t even say anything; just shouted yes at the same time when Eddie was leaving. Waiting for Richie who seemed to not have just given the others the gist of it. Bev and Ben left before him as Eddie stood in the middle of the room.</p><p> </p><p>He figured he might as well practice. Going towards one end of the mat before he rolled his shoulders and started to tumble across the mat. Keeping his hands in line with his shoulders as he somersaulted and finished with a back tuck. Standing up straight and rolling his wrists.</p><p> </p><p>“If you put more force in the push off from the floor you’ll get more air.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at Andy who leaned against the wall, “I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then why not do it then?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I’ll do it when I’m actually fighting someone.” Eddie said, “I’m not going to push it in practice and waste unnecessary energy.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy laughed softly with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“Interesting way of thinking about it. You never know when you’re going to be in a fight.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure I will.” Eddie said, rolling his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He looked towards the door to see if Richie was coming. Not seeing him as he sighed and watched Andy come closer to him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just letting you know that maybe you should push a little harder in practice and maybe you wouldn’t have to stay in Richie’s shadow.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just stared at him dumbly before he shook his head. Going to his bag and picking it up with Richie’s. He wanted to get the fuck away from Andy right now.</p><p> </p><p>“Unlike some people, I don’t mind staying in people’s shadows. It means people underestimate me just like you are right now. Plus if you ask literally everyone, Richie and I are on the same level. You just hate him for some fucking reason and you want to turn me against him. Try it on someone else because it won’t happen.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy tilted his head, “Richie thinks with his heart first. You seem like you’re the type of person who thinks things through.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’d be incorrect. I didn’t hesitate to go into a burning building for him. I’d do it again too. Then again, Richie’s my best friend. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for him.”</p><p> </p><p>“The question you need to ask yourself is would he do the same?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, without a shadow of a doubt.” Eddie told him, “He let himself get the shit kicked out of him while we were growing up just so I could get away. Then he’d come to my house and I’d patch him up. So yeah, I know he would. So why don’t you just fuck off, Andy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you forget I’m your handler now?”</p><p> </p><p>“For now, but you saw how easy it was for me to get rid of Went. I don’t care what I have to do. You push Richie too much and I’ll get rid of you too.” Eddie said seriously, “I don’t care if you throw us in undercover missions or retrieval, we’ll complete it and come back and go about our lives.”</p><p> </p><p>“Listen-”</p><p> </p><p>“We good here, Eds?” Richie asked, as Eddie smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Just waiting for you so we can head out.” Eddie told him, “Andy had a couple of ill informed opinions.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like it.” Richie said, “Just so you know Andy, our team is incredibly loyal. So maybe do yourself a favor and back down?”</p><p> </p><p>“From what? I’m just making sure your team is the best it can be. You’ve been very lax with their training if the way they hold themselves is any indication. Then again, you’ve always been weak.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly, “Whatever you have to tell yourself, Andy. Come on Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie took his bag from the younger male. Grabbing Eddie’s hand and pulling him away from their new handler as it seemed like Eddie was going to pounce and kill the guy. Eddie let himself be pulled away because he knew if he wasn’t then he’d do something they’d all regret. However, when they got to Richie’s they were going to discuss Andy a little bit more because Eddie one hundred percent hated the guy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team gets their first mission after coming back.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie waited until they were doing his leg exercises to bring up Andy again. Richie had been on edge all night after they’d left. Wincing when Richie bent his knee a little lower. His friend working on his legs as Eddie stood there looking at him. It was times like this where Richie was so focused on helping him that he wanted to suggest that they all run away from MATURIN but he wouldn’t because he knew that for the time being….</p><p> </p><p>Well for the time being Richie was going to work there for at least another few years.</p><p> </p><p>They’d come to Eddie’s apartment instead of Richie’s. A last minute change of plans because Eddie had the cookware needed to make spaghetti whereas Richie didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you thinking about?” Richie asked, looking up at Eddie through his glasses.</p><p> </p><p>This was the Richie that Eddie missed. It was so rare now that Richie wore his glasses. Because he had to wear contacts on contacts the male had just started wearing them at all times. It was easier is what he said in case they had to go on an emergency mission.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you ever miss how things used to be?”</p><p> </p><p>“You mean like...high school? No. I hated high school.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was easier though.”</p><p> </p><p>“For you, maybe but for me not really. Keep in mind, my parents were going to make me do this since I was born.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your parents are fucked.”</p><p> </p><p>“So is your mom.” Richie countered, “We all had shitty families growing up.”</p><p> </p><p>“What was the worst punishment that they did to you?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie froze with his hand on Eddie’s thigh; the fingers felt harder than before. He heard Richie inhale sharply before his hands fell to his lap.</p><p> </p><p>“Please take that question back.” Richie told him softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I want to know.” Eddie said, “You know I’m not going to judge you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you keep asking me questions when you know I can’t lie to you?” Richie asked honestly, “Like I can’t even keep things from you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You kept your parents abusing you from me and them working for MATURIN.”</p><p> </p><p>“I never lied to you though. I just never said anything about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at him, “I guess that’s true. You’ve never outright lied to me that’s true.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just looked at the floor with his hands fisted together.</p><p> </p><p>“You remember when I told you I was legit grounded the week of spring break our junior year? Yeah well, they locked me in the basement. Remember how I got in trouble for beating the crap out of Sam because he shoved you down a few stairs? Well, Went and Maggie raised me to be sneakier about things like that. So they saw it as a failed exercise. That and the fact that it got them a phone call made them both pissed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait...the basement with no windows and just one entrance in and out? They left you down there?”</p><p> </p><p>“Went took the light bulbs out of the light fixtures. All except one that was in a corner. When all you know is the dark...you forget what sunlight looks like. What it feels like to have the fresh air hit your face.” Richie said softly, rubbing at his still bandaged forearm.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie noticed and took the hand; holding it firmly as all thoughts of his leg exercises left.</p><p> </p><p>“I remember hearing Maggie telling you that I wasn’t allowed to have friends over. Heard her chastise you for climbing in my window like you used to. I remember wanting to scream at you to get me out of there but I didn’t. Punishments were worse if I got upset. I had to remember to keep my cool in any situation.” Richie told him, his voice empty and detached, “I think I knew even then that I’d only ever disappoint my parents. After that week they let me out and I remember being sneakier about beating up yours and Stan’s bullies. I remember not wanting to joke or say anything too out there if only because I was scared of it getting back to them. I didn’t want to spent another second in that basement. I still think that basement killed a part of me, although I don’t know what part it was anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie felt numb as he went to his knees; looking Richie in the eyes as his best friend tried to smile at him.</p><p> </p><p>“See why I asked you to take it back?”</p><p> </p><p>“Your parents are evil.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, they aren’t. It’s fine. They just wanted to make sure I’d be prepared for-”</p><p> </p><p>“Chee!” Eddie interrupted, holding his face, “All any parent wants is for their child to be prepared for the real world. They weren’t doing that...they were abusive fucks and you always make excuses for them and it isn’t okay. It really isn’t okay that you excuse the abuse that you suffered from them all because you knew that this job was an inevitability. I am here, telling you, that what they did is one hundred percent not okay. Their kid had a personality and was pretty hilarious and they basically beat it out of you. That isn’t alright and I really hate them for it.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shrugged his shoulders, “It wasn’t really abuse, I think. They were just trying to make me better so I wouldn’t get myself killed. Some of the punishments, yeah were questionable. What else did you expect them to do with a failure for a son?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s heart felt chilled and frozen at that statement. Richie looked at him with such defeat in his eyes that it took Eddie’s breath away. The older male looked away first as Eddie opened and shut his mouth. There were so many things he wanted to say. So many things he wanted to scream.</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s phone ringing stopped all movement as they both looked at it. Richie going to it slowly and looking at it. Eddie watched Richie’s face remain neutral before he watched him text something back.</p><p> </p><p>“Andy has a mission for us. We have to be at HQ in twenty.” Richie told him, “I texted the group.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>“I kept things from you for a reason.” Richie said softly, “I hate upsetting you and the others. I know how you guys think of my parents. But they’re my parents, Eds. Trying to make them proud is all I’ve got right now. It’s something not even Patrick can take away from me.”</p><p> </p><p>“You make all of us proud, doesn’t that count for something?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re all biased, Eddie.” Richie laughed, “You all love me so you see everything I do through rose colored glasses.”</p><p> </p><p>“When have I ever backed down from telling you that you’re doing something dumb?” Eddie asked fiercely, “When have I shied from telling you that you’re a goddamn idiot. You don’t want to see your parents abuse, fine, but that’s what they and Andy did. And I’m not entirely happy that that fucker is now our handler.”</p><p> </p><p>“You did it.” Richie sighed, “You’re the one who thought he knew best.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah until the devil became our goddamn handler. I’ll talk to Danny about it-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t. Not until Andy proves he isn’t a good handler for us.” Richie said, “Listen to me this time. We have to play this right otherwise Danny will write off everything we say as bitching.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie sighed but nodded. Grabbing his jacket and Richie’s. Tossing the latter his before going to grab his keys from the bowl.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re not done with this talk.” Eddie said, “I know you’re still hiding things from me. I don’t know what it is but I want to know. I, however, won’t push you until you let me know.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded his head as he followed the male out. They said nothing as they got into Eddie’s car. Eddie didn’t know what to say and he was sure the other male didn’t either. Driving to HQ in absolute silence as both wondered what the mission was.</p><p> </p><p>When Eddie parked they both moved together to get out of the car. Heading to the door as Richie put his finger to the scanner to the side as it pricked his finger. Reading his fingerprint and taking blood. The door opened by itself as he went inside with Eddie behind him. Waving at the guard behind the desk as they made their way to the elevator.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing Stan and Mike already standing there calmed some of the awkwardness. Richie going to Stan and smiling at him.</p><p> </p><p>“You weren’t with Bill?”</p><p> </p><p>“He was on the phone with Georgie. He’s freaking out about graduating in a few months.” Stan said, “Apparently Bill’s parents are grilling him to figure out what he wants to do in college. And not to be like Bill who didn’t go.”</p><p> </p><p>“I always forget that Bill’s parents don’t know what he does.” Richie sighed, “Is Georgie going to be okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Eventually, he just needed big brother Bill for a little while. Can we fill him in on the mission in like an hour?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’ll be fine. I’ll run interference with Andy.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>Going into the elevator with the others as they went to the conference room. Heading into the room as they noticed Ben and Bev already there. Taking their normal spots with ease as Andy came in after Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“Where is Denbrough?”</p><p> </p><p>“Family emergency, he’ll be here for the mission.” Richie told him, “Which is what exactly?”</p><p> </p><p>Andy slid the files to each of them. Richie grabbing his and opening it immediately. Going cold all over as he read it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mission Objective: Infiltrate DM Modeling Agency for a murderer. Four victims so far, all victims have black hair and blue eyes. Focus on finding the culprit behind their murders and exterminate the threat.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>There were pictures of the victims as well as a layout of the building. Richie and Eddie’s ‘beauty shots’ as well as detailed instructions of their meeting with the owner of DM.</p><p> </p><p>“Undercover mission?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’ll be okay, won’t it?”</p><p> </p><p>After the last one? Richie wanted to tell him to go fuck himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie and I are both going undercover?”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you read the file? It’s couple modeling. You have to have a partner for your photoshoots. We’ll be shooting yours tomorrow before you go on the mission.” Andy told him, “While you aren’t exactly model material, Eddie makes up for it. So Richie, you fit the MO of the killer more so we’ll have to pretty you up. Which will be fine, you just have to work with us on it.”</p><p> </p><p>Pretty….him up.</p><p> </p><p>Richie saw Eddie’s glare; watched him grip his pen hard enough that it looked like it wanted to break.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll make a game plan and submit it before the photoshoot.” Richie said gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Make sure that you do. You won’t be leaving HQ until you do.” Andy said, walking out.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie threw his pen at the door and watched it hit. Growling low under his breath as he sat back in his chair. Richie looking over the mission before looking to Stan who swallowed hard.</p><p> </p><p>“DM Modeling is one of the top in the world. The fact that the owner reached out means his own internal security can’t figure it out. We can use that to set up myself and Ben in the security room. Be your eyes and ears in the building. Mike and Bev will be your eyes out of the building. Bill will be back up if you need him. I’ll create fake profiles for you both going back a few years so that way it isn’t a shock that you’re ‘found’ by DM. We’ll look in the closets downstairs to get you guys outfits to take with you. Richie, you can take some of your leather jackets. You’ll be the more masculine model in the pair and Eddie the more feminine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not an insult, Eds.” Richie said, “We’ll need an agent too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which can be Bill.” Stan said, “We’ll get him some suits from downstairs.”</p><p> </p><p>“His stutter will give him away.” Richie countered, as Stan frowned, “Stan, I think you should play the role as agent and Bill needs to be in the security room with Ben.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, we’ll run it that way.” Stan said, “So most models are vain and shallow enough to walk in. So what we’ll do is make you the opposite. It’ll make you stand out more if you guys genuinely care about each other. It’ll make the killer hone in on you.”</p><p> </p><p>“We think.” Beverly sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“We think.” Stan conceded.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, are we seriously game planning a mission that’s deadly when Richie was just tortured two weeks ago and he’s playing bait again? I don’t fucking think so.” Eddie snapped, “I’m not comfortable with this at all!”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds-”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Eddie cut Richie off, “What the actual fuck, Chee? We requested a retrieval mission or even a bounty hunting one...not undercover.”</p><p> </p><p>“And just because we request it doesn’t mean we get it.” Richie said, “You know that just as well as I do. They put us on the missions they think we’ll be best at. We’ve done undercover work more than any other team.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well—I...how do you think the other teams will get good at it if they don’t practice?” Eddie finally settled on.</p><p> </p><p>“Because on critical missions like this they can’t waste time.” Richie sighed, “This is our job Eddie, if you don’t like it then quit.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at Richie; his eyes watching every single part of Richie’s face. He thought about just how unlikely it was that he could leave the male especially after everything that had happened. His face closing off as he looked at Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll also need to borrow cars from the garage. If we’re supposed to be somewhat famous we’d be driving better cars.” Eddie said, “You’ll also have to plant fake ads that we’ve done.”</p><p> </p><p>“I figured as much. I’ll put in the request. What gadgets do you think you’ll need?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m thinking we’ll need our grappling hook guns, maybe some bullet tasers. Maggie has Eddie’s cuffs done so he can be fitted for those on multiple jackets.” Richie said, as Eddie tensed, “We’ll take our usual comms, the forensic spray...I think that’s it?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll take some bugs too and make friends with people we suspect.” Eddie told Stan who put the request in as they were talking, “As far as weapons we have to be nondescript so the ceramic knives will probably be best in case the building has a metal detector.”</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed.” Richie said, “We go in first day with guns then it’ll set off red flags.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, the lab just came up with some one time use guns?” Bev suggested, “They’re made of a special polymer but works the exact same. We could test run them?”</p><p> </p><p>“What caliber?”</p><p> </p><p>“Twenty-fives I think?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” Richie laughed, “We’ll go in and play fair with everyone and then nail the asshole if he bites. If he doesn’t after forty-eight hours we’ll get more in depth.”</p><p> </p><p>“Seems like we have a game plan. I’ll relay it to Bill.” Stan said, sending the mission brief to Andy and Danny.</p><p> </p><p>Richie stood up, “If that’s all I’m going to head out. I’ll see you all tomorrow morning at seven a.m. sharp.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked like he was going to say something so Richie ditched as quickly as he could. Pulling his phone out to see the latest message from Patrick. The male’s texts were coming more often which put him on edge. He didn’t know what it meant but he knew it couldn’t be good. Looking down at the phone as ice ran down his spine; causing him to stop and stare.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’ll see you soon.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Well</p><p> </p><p>Fuck.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie and Eddie do their pair photoshoot before the mission.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It would be so easy to tell them. Just tell them that Patrick had been texting him for weeks. They’d understand and even be a little angry but then he wouldn’t have this bubble of anxiety eating away at him. He hated feeling like this. Hated feeling like he was all alone; he didn’t want the others to treat him differently. Swallowing down his panic as he posed for pictures with Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>They had to be convincing as models. It was just another thing they’d been trained for. Having to look perfect regardless of what the mission was.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie had one arm wrapped Richie’s chest and was on his back. His other arm wrapped right above of it just below Richie’s throat. His legs going straight down his back. Richie could see the sleeves of his black sweater out of the corner of his eye as he kept a straight face at the camera.</p><p> </p><p>The picture being snapped before Beverly nodded as they switched positions. They’d been at it for almost two hours. Stan said they only needed a few more poses. Wardrobe coming over and making them change the top parts of their outfits. Eddie wearing a simple plaid top under a peacoat. Richie’s changing to a long gray sweater and a button down shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me?” Richie asked, as Eddie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>He pulled him down to the floor. Leaning up against the pole as Eddie figured out what the pose was going to be. Laying down with one arm going over one of Richie’s legs. His head going on his chest as he splayed his legs out a little to showcase the pants he was wearing. He felt a hand go in his hair just a little as Richie’s other hand hovered over his chest before sliding in between the shirt and peacoat. Resting right over Eddie’s heart.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie knew his heart was pounding. This was by far the most intimate pose they’d done. Seeing Stan’s shocked face before he placed his hand right over Richie’s and almost intertwining their fingers. Feeling a small twitch in the hand as he looked away from the camera and tried to relax.</p><p> </p><p>“If you want to you can lean your shoulder on my leg.” Richie whispered, “I propped it up just so you could.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Chee.” Eddie said, doing just that.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s perfect! Hold that!” Beverly told them.</p><p> </p><p>They both heard the pictures being snapped before it stopped.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay we’re done!” Stan said, clapping, “Great job, guys!”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie laughed softly, “Do we get to see what the pictures look like?”</p><p> </p><p>“Once we pick the best ones and print.” Beverly said, “Shouldn’t be any longer than twenty minutes if you guys want to go wash up.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie didn’t want to move from this position. Squeezing Richie’s hand before he sat up. Getting up first before turning to help up his best friend. Richie just smiled at Eddie before he went into the room he’d changed in. Shutting the door and leaning against it as he exhaled softly. His head landed on the door gently as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing his reflection in the mirror as he ignored it and went right for his clothes. Changing as he thought to the mission. He’d have to do that type of thing at least once with Eddie while they were undercover. He wasn’t looking forward to it. Doing intimate poses with someone he was in love with wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time.</p><p> </p><p>Picking his phone up and looking at his texts. The one from Patrick yesterday was still there, he hadn’t said anything else. Locking it and sliding it in his pocket. He left the room and looked at Stan and Beverly who looked like they were having a blast.</p><p> </p><p>“Pick out some good ones?”</p><p> </p><p>“Those last pictures were amazing.” Beverly said, “Like ten out of ten, Tozier. You both looked so good.”</p><p> </p><p>Showing him the prints that they’d chosen for their portfolio.</p><p> </p><p>The one where Eddie was almost getting a piggyback ride from him stood out as well as the last photo. Eddie’s face in the last one was so soft. His eyes looking to the side but still looking so relaxed. He trusted Richie, and he’d always known that, seeing it was different though.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie came up right behind him and laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“Damn, we actually look like we kind of know what we’re doing.” Eddie said, “Good job, us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I might have to frame these.” Beverly said, “I’ll never see either of you looking so dapper.”</p><p> </p><p>“I might have to do the same.” Richie said, grinning at Eddie who blushed, “Do we have all the equipment?”</p><p> </p><p>“We do, we’re just waiting on Bill to get back from seeing Georgie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait what?” Richie asked, “He went back to Derry to see Georgie and didn’t tell us?”</p><p> </p><p>“He told me and he said he was already en route back.” Stan said slowly, “It’ll be another half hour. I figured it would be fine because we didn’t know how long this would take!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just stared at him, “Why did he have to go back to Maine? What couldn’t he do over the phone?”</p><p> </p><p>“Talk to his parents forcefully about not pressuring Georgie about college.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sighed and rubbed his eyes in annoyance.</p><p> </p><p>“Andy finds out he isn’t in Los Angeles he’s going to have all our asses in a sling. Mike, you’ll have to deflect and distract if he comes down here.”</p><p> </p><p>Mike only nodded his head once as Richie looked to Beverly.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you picked out our everyday clothes while on mission?”</p><p> </p><p>“I packed for two weeks just in case something happened.” Beverly told them, showing them the suitcases, “I put each outfit in its on vacuum then suctioned it to be smaller. That way you’d know what to wear together. Otherwise you’d probably look like a fashion nightmare.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie took in the clothes and the shoes as well as the toiletries bag.</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded as she zipped up their suitcases. Green for Eddie and blue for him so they wouldn’t get it mixed up.</p><p> </p><p>“We already have a hotel set up in New York City, we took an entire floor.” Beverly grinned, “So that way it’ll be just us. We’ll do a sweep for bugs and cameras every morning and night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good to me.” Richie said, “Eds?”</p><p> </p><p>“Lets add a few cameras of our own to the mix to see if we get any unwelcome visitors. Make sure the cameras have an audio feed that we can view from our phones.” Eddie told her, as she nodded, “Other than that, yeah we’re good.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll make sure to pick that up.” Stan said, “So, in terms of solo photos.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan pulled out a stack for each of them. Richie flipping through his and shrugging.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you picked good ones, Stan.” Richie told him, “It isn’t like we’re going into the field.”</p><p> </p><p>“We still have to make sure that you know the photos.” Stan said, “Which, speaking things to know. You aren’t keeping your names for this op.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Eddie asked, “Why the fuck not?”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie and Eddie? Sounds too unprofessional.” Stan told him.</p><p> </p><p>“So what are our names?” Richie asked slowly, not liking the direction this was going.</p><p> </p><p>Stan smiled at them apologetically before sliding two files over to them. Richie and Eddie both opened it, rolled their eyes and handed each other the one they were holding.</p><p> </p><p>“My name is fucking Milo Kasper?” Eddie laughed, “Stop it Stan, you’re killing me. What’s yours Richie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nick Strider.” Richie said, as Eddie lifted a brow, “Strider as in-”</p><p> </p><p>“Lord of the Rings, yeah.” Stan grinned, “Ben and Mike got a little heavy handed on the names. But your history is in there.”</p><p> </p><p>“History? We’re really going all out on a mission that shouldn’t take longer than three days.” Eddie said, looking it over.</p><p> </p><p>“It might not though, it could take longer which means you should know what campaigns you were part of.” Stan said, “We tried to keep it as similar to your own history as possible to make it easier. You both grew up in Tulsa Oklahoma. You both decided to move after high school which landed you in Baltimore Maryland for two years until eventually moving to New York where you got your first gig in Manhattan for Barneys.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tulsa?” Richie asked, “Why the fuck Tulsa?”</p><p> </p><p>“It just makes it feel more like rugs to riches.” Beverly told them, “You’ve been modeling together for four years, each campaign done together. That way they know you aren’t going to do shoots separately. You’re either in the same campaign or not which Stan will state firmly to them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then why the separate head shots?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Because while part of the same campaign you’ll take individual shots.”</p><p> </p><p>“This sounds like hell.” Eddie said honestly, “So we grew up in Tulsa, moved to Baltimore then New York. Why did we even go to Baltimore?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because Richie loves theater, which Baltimore is one of the leaders of performing arts.” Beverly said, “Or I’m sorry, Nick loves theater.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie pretended to throw up as Eddie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“Well Milo, what do you think?” Richie asked, as Eddie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t Nick, these names might be worse than Josh and Felix.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh fuck, I hated being Felix.” Richie frowned, “I’ll take Nick.”</p><p> </p><p>“Silver linings.” Stan smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry I’m late guys!” Bill said, running in as Richie sized him up.</p><p> </p><p>“Georgie good?”</p><p> </p><p>Bill winced, “M-M-Mom thinks she knows best and told m-m-me that a bum doesn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck your mother.” Richie said coldly, “Tell Georgie if he wants he can always join us here. Desk job obviously.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill laughed, “I a-actually had that thought and told him.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked a little shocked, “You sure that’s a good idea, Big Bill?”</p><p> </p><p>“He would do w-w-well here.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded, “I’ll put in the word to Danny to tap him in a few months.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill smiled and nodded his head. Because Georgie would push paperwork and work his way up to being a handler. He would be <em>safe </em>unlike what they did. Richie slapped the file on his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“What cars do we have?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be taking a hummer.” Beverly said, “More room for things. Stan will be going up in a mustang and you boys will be sharing a car.”</p><p> </p><p>“So we’re just always together?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“About that.” Stan winced, seeing the look on Richie’s face, “Andy...kind of overrode me but...you’re a couple.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt his stomach drop as he looked at Eddie who looked stunned.</p><p> </p><p>“I tried! I tried to get him to reconsider because I figured it would be weird-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Eddie said, “With me that is? Rich, are you going to be able to do this?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt like he wanted to go drown in the nearest fountain. He didn’t want to do couple things with Eddie, wishing they would be real. Didn’t want Eddie to touch him after...Patrick had. He still felt so dirty and unworthy even now.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” Richie told them, “Although I don’t know how this-”</p><p> </p><p>“The other victims were couples.” Stan cut him off, “We got the new intel this morning.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded his head firmly, “Wheels up in thirty. I need to go talk to Danny about Georgie. Keys to our car?”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly held up a set of keys and Richie recognized them.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait...how did you get that approved?”</p><p> </p><p>The keys were to a Lamborghini Diablo. Operatives weren’t typically allowed to take it out for missions. There were only so many left and it was a beauty.</p><p> </p><p>“Pulled some strings with Danny.” Stan grinned, “It’s the pretty blue one.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie laughed, “I think you guys broke him. I thought you weren’t a cars guy, Chee?”</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t just a car.” Richie said, turning to Eddie, “This is like...sex on a stick car. There is a difference. I drive a fucking Camaro most days, Eds. Obviously I’m a little snobby about sports cars. The only other car in the garage I’d want to drive is that Aston Martin and that’s only to feel like James Bond. Holy shit Stan, I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I continue to be the number one favorite. Up your game, ladies and gents.” Stan said smugly.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie shook his head, “So I’m taking it that you’re driving all the way to New York?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to Stan and Beverly who shook their heads.</p><p> </p><p>“You can drive it to the landing but then it’s being loaded onto our plane.” Beverly said, “Then you can drive it all you want. The reason you got it is because it’s believable two small town men would overcompensate with a muscle car like a rare lambo.”</p><p> </p><p>“I never want this mission to end.” Richie said, clutching the keys, “Right...Danny. I’ll meet you in the garage, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“Milo.” Eddie corrected, “We might as well get used to it, Nicky.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie blushed a little, “I’ll be back.”</p><p> </p><p>Leaving as he heard Eddie laughing behind him. Making his way to the elevator and hitting the up button. Hitting the button for the top floor as he leaned against the wall. He didn’t want to think about Eddie already giving his fake persona a nickname.</p><p> </p><p>However the male had and it made Richie feel warmth in his chest. Chastising himself for it almost immediately. Eddie was just nervous about the mission as was Richie so he was trying to put them both at east. Richie’s head laying against the cool metal. He knew better than to hope. All it led to was disappointment is what Maggie told him.</p><p> </p><p>Why would someone like Eddie go for someone like Richie? Maggie had asked him that so many time over the last few years and Richie still didn’t have a retort to it. Because in the end his mom was right?</p><p> </p><p>Wasn’t she?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie and Eddie's first day in New York City is a little heavier than either thought it would be.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The car was worth everything. Richie loved driving it as he went down the street slowly to get to their hotel room. They’d landed a little while ago and didn’t have to be at the agency until tomorrow. Which gave them time to get used to their surroundings as well as for the Losers to break in and plant their bugs and cameras at DM. Richie slid out of the car outside of the French restaurant that Eddie picked. Stan had suggested that he and Eddie let their faces be seen so Ben could post a few pictures online and tag DM to get the killer’s interest up.</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved to the other side and went to Eddie’s side to open the door. He held his hand out as Eddie took it. It felt weird being a couple with Eddie. It was something he wanted so terribly.</p><p> </p><p>Shutting the door before handing his keys to the valet. Getting his ticket as Eddie took his hand and pulled him into the restaurant. Ben had gotten them the reservation yesterday. Richie just looked after Eddie, taking in the tight black jeans and the white shirt and leather jacket he was wearing. The way the younger male looked back at him almost stopped Richie’s heart. It was so enthusiastic and open; he was smiling so widely.</p><p> </p><p>“Reservation?” the lady asked, as Richie smiled at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Under Strider.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>She looked down the list before making a small mark and smiling at them. Grabbing two menus and gesturing for them to follow her.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s arm looped into Richie’s as they walked into the dining room. Being led to a dimly lit booth. They sat down and took their menus. Eddie sipping at his water as he relaxed a little more.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what are you thinking?”</p><p> </p><p>“That I’m really happy that this is on the company.” Eddie said softly, “I would not willingly pay this much money for this crap.”</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed.” Richie said, “But it doesn’t really fit the cover for us to eat at like...a diner.”</p><p> </p><p>“It could, we literally grew up in Tulsa.” Eddie giggled, “That will never not be funny to me. The one time we went there it was hell.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well there was literally a tornado warning, so we went at the worst possible time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Even then.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled with the other male before looking at his menu.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m thinking the lamb chops.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Really? I was thinking the Entrecote Au Poivre?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s your stomach.” Richie told him, as Eddie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s steak and fries with escargot butter. I actually like escargot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Again, your stomach.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes, “At least I’m being adventurous.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am too. I’m getting cauliflower.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie smiled, “Okay, I’ll concede that point because it’s a vegetable.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled proudly at that before a waiter came over. They placed their orders for their drinks and food before handing their menus over.</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s phone buzzed as he looked at Ben’s text message that he was in the restaurant.</p><p> </p><p>“He in position?” Eddie asked, as Richie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie slid his hand into Richie’s and squeezed it.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you doing alright?”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” Richie asked, leaning his head on his hand as he looked at Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just tilted his head down for a moment; taking a deep breath before looking at Richie again.</p><p> </p><p>“With the contact?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh...yeah.” Richie told him, “I’m alright with contact. Especially if the person looks nothing like Patrick.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well none of us look like him so that’s good, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly before squeezing Eddie’s hand, “Very good. I don’t know what I’d do if any of you did. It makes it easier to act like everything’s normal. Like I didn’t fuck up and pay the price for it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! You didn’t fuck up, Richie.” Eddie said softly, “The first time was because we weren’t used to contingency plans in our missions yet. That was on all of us and the second time was to save someone. What you did was so incredibly noble. I don’t care what anyone says. I love you to death, Richie, and that entire time you scared the shit out of me. Knowing what happened now and then makes everything you’ve done over the last four years make so much more sense.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just shocked how well you’re handling it.”</p><p> </p><p>“You and the Losers make it easier, like I said.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie opened and shut his mouth before looking down. Richie’s thumb stroking his hand as the younger male took in a sharp breath. He glanced back up to Richie who tilted his head at him.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think...that you’ll ever want to date someone seriously? Like sex and all?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah I think I could. I’ve told you though, I’m only interested in one person. They aren’t interested in me back.” Richie said, “And I’m really not interested in doing one night stands. It’s a waste of time and I’m not really into the no strings attached thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t think you would be. You care about a person fully not fleetingly.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t help it.” Richie said, “Guess you could say it’s my worst trait.”</p><p> </p><p>“It isn’t your worst trait! Why would you say that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because it’d be easier on me and my heart if I could do one night stands instead of just...pining and being alone. I hate being alone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Being alone and forgotten, your worst fear.” Eddie said quietly, “Chee, don’t you know that you’ll never be alone or forgotten while I’m still here?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie froze and stared at the shorter male. Eddie looked so sincere and it scared Richie. It gave him hope but he couldn’t stop the bubble of doubt in the back of his head from taking over. Maggie’s voice was loud in his head.</p><p> </p><p>“What if you start dating someone?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie opened and shut his mouth. Looking to the side as he gripped Richie’s hand tightly. He turned to say something but stopped when their food arrived. Their hands coming apart as they both looked at their food. After that, neither said much of anything as they started to eat.</p><p> </p><p>The question hung in the air like a cloud waiting to rain on them.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie eating a little of his steak before he set his utensils down.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m kind of in the same boat as you I guess. Where I like just one person and I don’t think they like me back.”</p><p> </p><p>“They’d be insane not to like you, Eds. While you can be a feral little shit, you’re still kind and loving to the people you care about. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. Even if you’re unsure if you’re doing something right you do it anyways. You overcame your mother’s bullshit brainwashing...that counts for a lot. It makes you really brave.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie blushed and looked back down at his food. He didn’t know what to say to that. Licking his lips as Richie’s phone buzzed again.</p><p> </p><p>“That Ben?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie frowned at his phone as Patrick’s name flashed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How are you liking New York?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Take a deep internal breath and unpack that later. Without Eddie around to see the panic on his face. He looked up at the other male and smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Richie said, “So how do you want to do tomorrow? Do you want to play it cool and coy or do you want to play the part of super egotist?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie frowned, “Can’t we play it down to earth?”</p><p> </p><p>“Neither sets of victims were.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well let’s see if we play it differently if it’ll work. I don’t want to go straight out of the gate being an asshole.”</p><p> </p><p>“You hardly if ever do.” Richie said, closing his mouth when his phone vibrated again.</p><p> </p><p>He picked it up and sighed as it buzzed again. One from Ben, one from Patrick.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can’t wait to see you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Ben said we’re all good. We can grab the check and meet up at the hotel to plan for tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great.” Eddie said, motioning for the waiter, “I want a burger.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your steak not that good?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was well done and chewy as hell. If I wanted leather I’d go buy some.” Eddie told him, as the waiter came over, “Check please.”</p><p> </p><p>The waiter nodded and left them as Richie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“How was your lamb chops?”</p><p> </p><p>“Dry as hell. For the money we spent it should’ve tasted godly.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to text Bev and see if she can grab us a bunch of burgers and fries.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know she will.” Richie said, giving the company card over when the waiter came back, “She knew before she even left that we weren’t going to enjoy this food.”</p><p> </p><p>“We may have money because of our job but it doesn’t mean we’re going to waste it on expensive food that isn’t worth it.”</p><p> </p><p>When the waiter came back with his card, Richie signed the bill. Sliding out of his seat before Eddie came to stand with him. They left arm in arm as he handed the valet ticket over. Turning to Eddie and fixing his jacket just a little.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing.” Richie told him, “Just fixing your jacket.”</p><p> </p><p>He took the keys from the valet, opening the door for Eddie to get in. Shutting the door behind him gently before going to the driver’s side to get in. He fastened his seat belt and looked to his best friend who just stared at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Who texted you besides Ben?” Eddie asked, “Was it about work?”</p><p> </p><p>“Kind of. Don’t worry about it.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, don’t start hiding things from me-”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds, I’m telling you to not worry about it okay.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“And I’m telling you that you straight up paled when you read those messages. So I’m going to ask you what’s going on.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just stared at him; turning to look straight before he pulled out and started to drive.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, what’s going on? You haven’t been right since the first day in the cabin two weeks ago.”</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to ignore his best friend but knew that since they were the two in the field he needed to know. Especially with Patrick threatening him.</p><p> </p><p>“Patrick’s been texting me.” Richie said softly, as Eddie paled, “At first it was about how he missed me screaming or...other things. Now he’s saying he can’t wait to see me again. He knows we’re in New York, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“What the actual fuck, Richie?” Eddie asked, staring at him, “Why didn’t you tell us? Tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t want to worry you. You guys have been so worried about me lately and I was just trying to take your mind off of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“For good reason! You were tortured, Richie. And now you’re being stalked, this is serious. And he knows where we are which means he could pop out and hurt us!”</p><p> </p><p>“He knows we’re in New York, he doesn’t know where.” Richie said, “Although I don’t know—Eddie!”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took Richie’s phone and threw it out the window. Watching a car run it over before putting the window back up. He turned and looked at Richie who looked at him then the road.</p><p> </p><p>“He could be tracking your phone, it’d be easy if he has your cell phone number.” Eddie said, “I’m texting Stan to get you another one. I’ll tell him that you tripped and broke it. We’ll keep this information between us for now. Unless something happens and the others need to know. We’ll send your new phone number to Danny and the others. That way it’s on a need to know basis.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Promise me.” Eddie interrupted, “Promise me that if you hear from him again you’ll tell me. This is the kind of secrets we can’t keep from each other, Chee. This could have been dangerous.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I was just scared. He threatened you and I just couldn’t—I couldn’t think straight.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care who he threatens. I don’t want you to deal with this by yourself. You’ve done enough by yourself, Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t really know any other way.” Richie said, “Maggie and Went always told me that I had to keep things to myself because if you bother people with your problems...they leave you. I’m sick of being left behind.”</p><p> </p><p>“When have we ever left you behind?”</p><p> </p><p>“It felt like you did when I had to go home and you guys went to the clubhouse. Because my parents wanted me to train. To be more like them when I didn’t want to be.” Richie said slowly, “My parents said that being a child was for people who didn’t have a job waiting on them at eighteen. Which is why it shocked them so terribly when you all got tapped.”</p><p> </p><p>“Rich-”</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t your fault, it was theirs. I know that now believe it or not.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can still really fucking hate it.” Eddie said, “And I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me about Patrick or thought you couldn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just didn’t want to scare you. I thought it was needless. I didn’t think he’d get close enough for it to get serious.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because...I didn’t think he could track me.” Richie said, “As smart as I am I didn’t think for two seconds about my phone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fear does that to people.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not scared of him.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie frowned, “It would be okay if you were, Chee. What he did to you...I’d be scared shitless of him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, been there done that, read the manual on it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It can’t be that easy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ask me how easy it is to lock up my emotions after a decade of abuse? It’s like there’s a switch and I can just flick it off. Only certain emotions catch me up sometimes. Slip through the cracks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like what?” Eddie said, his voice breaking.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked over to see that his best friend looked thrashed by what he’d said.</p><p> </p><p>“Like my love of you and the others. How there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chee-”</p><p> </p><p>“And sometimes my anger slips through. Depression. Self loathing. That’s about it though. I’ve gotten a lot better at it.”</p><p> </p><p>“You should tell us when you feel depressed or—you loathe yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why bother others with a burden they can’t help? I’ve never in my life wanted to be a burden to you or the other Losers. I’m not planning on starting anytime soon.” Richie said, “First lesson that was drilled into me was to school my features so that no one knew what I was thinking.”</p><p> </p><p>“I learn to despise your parents more and more every single day. It is sick what they did to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s how they showed they love me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck how they show love.” Eddie told him, as they pulled into the hotel garage.</p><p> </p><p>Richie paying and driving up to the second deck to park. Eddie unbuckled his seat belt. The look he gave the older male was intense.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, we love you to death and we have never once treated you like they did. You deserved so much more than training and punishments.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not according to Went and Maggie. Keep in mind I was a mistake, Eds. They never meant for me to happen.” Richie sighed, “They reminded me of that fact for years. Maggie told me so many times...who would want to love a mistake like me?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie hadn’t meant to say it but he had. Eddie’s tears fell before he could stop them. He opened his mouth and a strangled sound escaped him. Looking down and wiping his eyes before he sniffled.</p><p> </p><p>“Not so easy is it. Being confronted with what my parents actually think of me.” Richie said, “Come on, the others will worry if we don’t get upstairs soon.”</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t watch Eddie cry anymore. Knowing he had caused those tears. Opening Eddie’s door so he could get out before moving to go to the elevator to get inside the hotel.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, Chee!”</p><p> </p><p>Feeling a hand on his arm as he was turned around. Eddie looked at him and opened his mouth before closing his eyes and mouth tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds, it’s okay just forget about it.” Richie said, “Forget I said anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t...that’s the most open you’ve been with me in years.” Eddie told him, “And I can’t—there’s so much I want to say and I can’t….”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop.” Richie said firmly, bringing him into a hug, “I didn’t say any of that to make you upset. It wasn’t directed at you.”</p><p> </p><p>“But-”</p><p> </p><p>“But nothing. Stop thinking about it, Eds. Now come on, we have burgers with our names on it. Focus on the happy things.” Richie said, “Like the fact that Beverly got us a shit ton of burgers and fries and I’m starving.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie pulled on his arm when Richie went to leave again. The older male stared at him in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Eddie trailed off and shook his head, “I’m starved too.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly, “Then come on.”</p><p> </p><p>Sliding his arm down Eddie’s hands to catch one with his own. Pulling him into the elevator as the doors shut. Thinking about tomorrow and how they would make their first impression with a bunch of vapid models.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First day of the mission doesn't go how either Richie or Eddie thought it would.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie held the door open for Eddie as the male walked in. Heading in right after as he took Eddie’s hand. The studio they were in was massive, Richie would give them that. Smiling as the owner of DM met them halfway. Theodore de Luna was known for being a bit of a bastard. Eddie kept hold of Richie’s arm, looking up at him with loving eyes. Really laying on the boyfriend act to gather attention.</p><p> </p><p>“Nick Strider and Milo Kasper I’m assuming?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’d assume right.” Richie said, looking around, “Your studio is a lot smaller than others we’ve been in.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s one of our old ones. You won’t be using this one for your shoot. This is the studio for rookies.” Theodore told them, “I’ve seen your portfolios and they’re stunning. You both always look so in tune with the other. The chemistry flies off the page.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s all Nicky.” Eddie told him, smiling brightly, “He thinks of some of the most brilliant poses.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, those poses are incredible. Your first pictures will be for suits. Second part has some leather jackets that we want to showcase.”</p><p> </p><p>“Suits don’t typically do well in pair shoots.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes well, we managed to convince them.” Theodore said, waving them towards the door, “You’ll be in suits but we want the same energy as your portfolio.”</p><p> </p><p>He handed them over to the stylists. Stan smiling at them from a stage chair. That made more sense. Richie walking up to him and grinning.</p><p> </p><p>“Told you I’d get him here on time, Jack.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>“I owe you a Benjamin, Milo.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie giggled, “It was easy once I got him awake.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie played with Richie’s hair and it was distracting. Richie looking down at him as the younger male’s nose grazed his own with a coy smile. This was torture plain and simple.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie acting so loving and tender with him but it not being real.</p><p> </p><p>“You both act like I’m a bum.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Well Nicky, it did take twenty minutes for me to get you up and moving.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mils, it took me twenty minutes because you were straddling me.” Richie said, seeing Eddie blush wildly, “Uh huh, that’s what I thought.”</p><p> </p><p>“Enough you two! You need to get into wardrobe.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed, “Sorry Jack. Same dressing room or different?”</p><p> </p><p>“The same, it saves time. One of you can dress and the other can get their makeup done. They want guyliner.”</p><p> </p><p>“How emo of them.” Eddie snickered, “Come on Nicky, let’s see just how dashing I’ll look.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to wear anything for me to think you’re dashing.” Richie said, letting himself be dragged by Eddie, “You’re gorgeous to me every single day.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s blush went darker as they went to the directed room. When the door shut they dropped hands and let themselves be pulled away from one another. Richie being shoved into a suit. It was black throughout, jacket, pants and shirt. Glancing at Eddie’s which was a black with white speck suit. The shirt was white but the rest was the same material even down to the vest.</p><p> </p><p>If there was one thing that made Richie Tozier weak in the knees it was Eddie Kaspbrak in a suit vest.</p><p> </p><p>It fit them both perfectly which wasn’t shocking given that Beverly had taken their measurements and sent them ahead of time but still threw him off guard.</p><p> </p><p>Richie knew Eddie was uncomfortable with all the poking and prodding but he was playing it off like a champion.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, Nick was it?” the short male to his left asked.</p><p> </p><p>“It is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come over here since you’re dressed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Almost.” the girl to his right said, unbuttoning the first two buttons, “Now he’s dressed.”</p><p> </p><p>The male rolled his eyes before shoving Richie in a chair. Smiling at him before they started poking and prodding at him. Keeping still as they put eyeliner on him. He wished that they wouldn’t do that but he had no control over it.</p><p> </p><p>Watching Eddie in the mirror as his tie was tied for him. It was a slate gray that suited him perfectly. The guy adjusting and straightening it before fastening the vest and jacket.</p><p> </p><p>“How does that feel?”</p><p> </p><p>“Good.” Eddie told him, “What shoes am I wearing?”</p><p> </p><p>They were brought over to him as he was sat down. The shoes were put on and tied for him as he stood up and looked at himself in the mirror.</p><p> </p><p>“You look incredible, Mils.” Richie said from his seat.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t look half bad yourself, Nicky.”</p><p> </p><p>His makeup was done as they started on Eddie’s which didn’t take nearly as long. Eddie had had his makeup done before and knew to be still. Richie sat on the couch as his team left the room. When Eddie’s was done they left as well.</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t know if there were cameras in here or not. Didn’t know if it was bugged.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you think, Nicky?”</p><p> </p><p>“Cute, cute, cute.” Richie said, without thinking about it.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked stunned as he laughed gently.</p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t said that in years.” Eddie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“I felt it was the most appropriate. You look like a fantasy, Mils.” Richie said, pulling him close with a hand on his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie came up against him easily as he smiled down at him. Richie wondered for just a moment if he could sneak a kiss. Just play it off as part of the cover. Eddie stared up at him as if he was nervous about something. Richie’s thumb caressed the younger male’s cheek as he debated on how smart it would be.</p><p> </p><p>A knock on the door interrupted that thought as Stan came in.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey—sorry was I interrupting?”</p><p> </p><p>The glare that Eddie sent Stan should have killed him on the spot and yet the male was still with the living. Stan’s hands went up as he took a step back.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re ready to do test shots. Milo you’re up first. Just a little hint. They’re going for a vampy goth vibe for this shoot.” Stan told them.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie sighed and stepped away from Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll see you in a minute.” Eddie said, before leaving the room.</p><p> </p><p>Stan stepped inside and looked at Richie who swallowed hard. Sitting on the couch as Stan walked around looking for cameras and bugs subtly.</p><p> </p><p>“The dressing room could be better. I tried to get it bigger for you guys.” Stan said, before turning to him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, it’s bigger than our old apartment in Baltimore.” he joked.</p><p> </p><p>Stan finished looking before giving him a thumbs up. Richie let out a sigh of relief and covered his face carefully.</p><p> </p><p>“What did I just walk in on?” Stan asked quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t even know.” Richie said, “You know that I—what my feelings for Eddie are. This is the worst.”</p><p> </p><p>“I knew that as soon as Andy told me you were going to be a couple.” Stan said, “Add that to the fact that you might have to do this for at least a week and I wanted to slap the man myself.”</p><p> </p><p>“I almost kissed him.” Richie groaned, “It would have ruined everything. Our whole dynamic as a team and friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know that.” Stan told him.</p><p> </p><p>“When in my life have I ever gotten anything I wanted?”</p><p> </p><p>Stan had no answer for that as he sat down heavily next to him. Richie scoffed as he shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry...it’s just been a stressful few days.”</p><p> </p><p>“I get it. That being said, you may want to talk to him about kissing and such. Or you could tell him the truth.” Stan said, “It’d be nice if I wasn’t the only one who knew. Plus what’s the worst that could happen?”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick could see and that would end just about how Richie’s luck would dictate.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on with you? You zone out all the time now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.” Richie said, standing up, “Come on, Jack.”</p><p> </p><p>He left the room and went to find Eddie who was posing by himself. He looked damn good if Richie was being honest. Then again, the former asthmatic always did.</p><p> </p><p>“Nicky, come on.” Eddie said, holding a hand out.</p><p> </p><p>Richie took it and let himself be pulled closer. They took a few more shots before Eddie stood out of the frame for Richie to get his test shots done. Richie watched his best friend the whole time before they called for the shoot to begin.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stood next to him and leaned against Richie; turning his face to the side just a little.</p><p> </p><p>He posed with Eddie as he thought. How awful would it be if he just went for it? Just threw caution and worry to the wind and just did what his instincts said? He could blame it on the mission after it was all said and done. It would be nice to just believe for two seconds that someone besides Patrick Hockstetter could want him.</p><p> </p><p>Taking a deep breath and throwing himself out there.</p><p> </p><p>Sliding his hand around Eddie’s waist and pulling him close. The younger male’s back was across Richie’s front and he felt the sharp exhale that Eddie let loose. His hand splayed over the male’s hip bone, fitting comfortably as he breathed softly against Eddie’s ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Having fun?”</p><p> </p><p>“About to be.” Richie whispered in Eddie’s ear, feeling him shiver, “You’re nervous and I can feel it. Just relax, it’s just me.”</p><p> </p><p>Tilting Eddie’s head to the side as he put his lips to the male’s neck. They were ghosting the surface of the skin feeling another shiver pass through the smaller body. Seeing the shocked look on Stan’s face as Richie’s eyes met the camera.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh that’s fabulous! Hold that pose boys!”</p><p> </p><p>Pictures being taken before Richie turned Eddie around. Dipping the male and going with him until they were almost horizontal. Showing the suit off as he twisted Eddie’s body just a little. Eddie going with it as he heard the male swallow hard.</p><p> </p><p>“Nick, you boys are comfortable with each other right?” the photographer asked, as Richie nodded, “The feel for this is gothic vampire-esque. Bite him.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie licked his lips before moving to Eddie’s neck again. A gentle bite was placed as Eddie inhaled quickly. His teeth firmly attached to the skin as he again looked up.</p><p> </p><p>“Brilliant! Now just go with whatever feels right.”</p><p> </p><p>He let the male take a few pictures before another idea hit him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled Eddie up as the male swayed just a little. Eddie just stared up at him with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You going to help or am I going to do all the work, Mils?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie smiled as he moved quickly. Lowering Richie across his knee as he kneeled on the ground. His own mouth going to Richie’s jugular and hovering just enough to warrant another positive reaction. Being jerked up by Eddie who smirked at him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s hands going to his jacket and vest and unbuttoning them. Turning Eddie quickly and putting both his hands on his front. One directly over his chest while the other hovered just below his belt.</p><p> </p><p>Hearing the camera go off as he moved his head to Eddie’s shoulder. His best friend turning and meeting his gaze with a hard swallow. Richie’s nose grazed Eddie’s as he felt a shiver go through the other body.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, next outfits!”</p><p> </p><p>That seemed to knock them both out of it as they pulled apart. Eddie being swept away by his team as Richie was pulled by Stan to a different room.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck?” Stan asked quietly under his breath.</p><p> </p><p>The two dressers from before following them as they shoved Richie into another outfit. If it wasn’t such a pain in the ass experience, Richie would enjoy it. A leather trench coat being slid on as they fixed his white shirt and blue jeans. Stan looked around the room, shaking his head every once in a while like he was still dumbstruck.</p><p> </p><p>The male coming to a stop and leaning against the wall.</p><p> </p><p>He looked at Stan who just stared at him in disbelief. Richie looked down at the ground as they finished switching his outfit. Leaving the two of them alone as Stan shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re fucked.” Stan said, “Just...yep.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m suddenly so happy we don’t have comms today.” Richie said, “Because otherwise I’d have to murder you.”</p><p> </p><p>“As long as you don’t give me the same fuck me eyes you gave him, we’ll be good.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie slammed his head into the wall gently. Stan laughing at his pain before patting his back.</p><p> </p><p>“You did it to yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah but the pictures will probably look dynamite. We want to catch the killer’s attention, right?” Richie asked, as Stan nodded, “Then it’ll be worth it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not if you die from being horny.” Stan laughed, “Which you’re on your way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t remind me.” Richie said, turning and looking in the mirror, “How do I look?”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine by me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fabulous.” Richie said dryly, as he left the room.</p><p> </p><p>He froze when he saw Eddie in a red leather jacket with a black t-shirt and jeans. And they were tight, the kind of tight that Richie honestly though that maybe they had painted them on. Latex was, after all, a thing that people in fashion used.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” Richie muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Fucked, you’re just fucked.” Stan said.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Jack.” Richie said harshly, “Your motivation and attention to detail are just...unparalleled.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s why you keep me around. Now have fun.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie made his way to the male who tilted his head at him with a smirk. Offering his hand to Richie who took it and let himself be pulled over. Eddie moving so he was directly in front of Richie, one leg intertwining with one of his as he dipped just a little. It was a little awkward but it worked. Richie sliding his leg out before dropping down. Motioning for Eddie to lift a leg and rest his shin on Richie’s hand. The younger male doing just that and turning his body towards the camera to show off the jacket. Richie mimicking the pose on his knee while taking the extra weight. Balancing carefully as they heard snaps from the camera.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie pulled back to stand up; helping Richie up easily before he moved in front of the male and held his jacket open. Richie’s arm coming around and pulling him closer by the waist. Curving his shoulder over Eddie’s as he tried to make himself bigger behind the smaller male.</p><p> </p><p>“You okay?” Richie whispered in Eddie’s ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Eddie said, sounding out of breath.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure?” Richie asked, “You keep shivering like you’re cold. Do we need to ask them to turn up the heat?”</p><p> </p><p>“No! I’m good.” Eddie told him, twisting out of his hold.</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled him back with a devilish smirk on his face. Eddie stared at him cautiously before gasping when he was picked up by the thighs.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me down!” Eddie said, looking down at Richie who grinned up at him, “You’re the absolute worst person I know!”</p><p> </p><p>“Compliments get you everywhere Milo.” Richie warned, before frowning when Eddie smirked at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Compliments, huh?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, one more pose boys and you’re done for the day!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie lowered Eddie slowly and gently. Holding in a gasp when the male rubbed against his front. Eddie on his feet as Richie watched the male lean in. His brain short circuiting as Eddie stopped just a hair away from his lips. Richie’s eyes kept flickering to Eddie’s lips and then his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>They both heard the snap of the camera before hearing clapping.</p><p> </p><p>“And that’s a wrap on formal and casual.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie breathed out slowly when Eddie stepped back and joined in the clapping. The older male started clapping as he stared at a gaping Stan. Going to their dressing room together as Richie openly watched Eddie’s ass. Those last two poses definitely weren’t friendly. Stopping next to Stan and looking at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Jack, I need copies of those photos.” Richie said quietly, as Stan nodded his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I figured and already told them. I’ll be staying a little over to help them pick the right pictures. They’ll print them out and we can add them to your portfolios, Nick.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded and walked into the dressing room. Shutting the door and leaning against it as he watched Eddie shed the leather jacket.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“What was what, Nicky?” Eddie asked, his eyes going sideways and Richie understood what that meant.</p><p> </p><p>In the time between the shoots there had been a bug planted. Fair enough, he could wing this.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you’ve ever straight up done fuck me poses.” Richie said, “That was...intense, you’re going to kill me from blue balls.”</p><p> </p><p>“You started it, I just finished it.” Eddie snorted, taking his shirt off.</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Eddie’s abs longer than he probably should have before moving to get changed as well. Two could play this game. Shedding his jacket and shirt and hearing a sharp intake.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure if it was Eddie acting or if the male genuinely thought he was attractive.</p><p> </p><p>“So what’s the plan for tonight?” Richie asked casually.</p><p> </p><p>“Um...we uh...shit.” Eddie said, “We got invited out by the lighting assistants.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh well I was thinking we could order in.” Richie said, pulling his jeans up slowly, “I know you said this morning you wanted a burger.”</p><p> </p><p>“That does sound really good.” Eddie played along, “We could continue watching that show we started last night?”</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect.” Richie told him, “You know I prefer staying in with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Eddie smiled, coming over to Richie.</p><p> </p><p>Leaning in close to his ear as he planted a soft kiss on his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s two cameras and one bug.” Eddie whispered against his neck, “I’m going to kiss you.”</p><p> </p><p>That was all the warning he got before Eddie’s lips were on his. His eyes fluttered closed as he pulled him closer at the waist. His lips were much softer than Richie thought they would be. Pulling away before it could go further. He leaned his forehead against Eddie’s who still had his eyes shut.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get out of here.” Richie told him, grabbing a hand.</p><p> </p><p>He pulled Eddie out of the room and felt his heart do an unpleasant twinge. A kiss out of obligation to keep their cover up. He understood the reason for it but he fucking hated it.</p><p> </p><p>He just hoped the rest of the mission wouldn’t call for it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie and Eddie visit DM before heading to the New York MATURIN office.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They didn’t talk about the photo shoot. Stan had tried to talk to Richie about it but it had been met with ignoring on the taller male’s end. They walked into the DM building together, hand in hand as they went to Theodore’s office. The male had wanted to meet to confirm the pictures for the shoot. Afterwards they’d meet the others at the New York MATURIN building.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stayed glued to his side in the elevator. Exiting and making their way down the hallway. He noticed a male watching them carefully and made sure to watch him just a little so that Ben could get a good picture from the video feed on his sunglasses.</p><p> </p><p>Richie opened the door and let Eddie head in first. Stan was already there, once again, as they smiled at Theodore who looked up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“These photos are superb. Just the right amount of fun and sexual tension.”</p><p> </p><p>He laid the photos out and Richie watched Eddie’s face flush as he looked away. Richie had to admit, they looked good. If Richie didn’t know it was a cover he would’ve believed they were together too just based off of the pictures.</p><p> </p><p>“So the suit photos will run on Vogue’s website next month and be in the December issue. The leather jacket photos will just be on Vogue’s website in January.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good. When’s our next shoot?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Next week. Enjoy the down time because you’ll be flying out to Jamaica.”</p><p> </p><p>They said nothing because they both knew they’d be done with the mission before then.</p><p> </p><p>“I already wired your money to your accounts. I’ll see you next week, I’ll have Justine text you your flight information and itinerary.”</p><p> </p><p>Why they couldn’t do this on the phone, Richie didn’t know. The three of them standing up as Eddie led them out of the room. Waiting for Richie before wrapping an arm around his waist. His hand going into the taller male’s back pocket. Richie leaning in close as they made their way to the elevator.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie watched the male that had been studying them earlier come forward.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi! I’m Gage!” the blonde introduced himself, “You’re Nick and Milo, right? We were told you were coming in today. I saw some of your photos online.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie knew just from how Eddie tensed just so that he didn’t believe this kid either.</p><p> </p><p>“We are.” Richie told him, “Are you in pair modeling or?”</p><p> </p><p>“Trying and failing. I don’t have good enough chemistry with people most of the time to be able to do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Maybe because he looked criminally insane? Patrick would be a good partner for him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, Gage. Who is your agent?” Stan asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Robert Silver.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of him.” Stan told him, “Are you new to modeling?”</p><p> </p><p>“Been here for a month.” Gage told him, “Trying to make my big break.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well it was a pleasure meeting you, but we have to get going. We have plans with some friends.” Eddie told him, making his voice sound regretful, “But we’ll have to see you again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah of course! Have fun!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie led Eddie away with Stan covering their back. Getting in the elevator as the doors shut. Eddie let out the breath he’d been holding as he looked to Richie who held him tightly.</p><p> </p><p>They said nothing as they left the building quickly. Richie could see it on Stan’s face that he didn’t like that interaction at all.</p><p> </p><p>Sliding into the car as Eddie checked it for bugs really quickly. Giving a thumbs up as he fell against the seat. Richie pulling out and starting to drive.</p><p> </p><p>“So that was weird right?” Eddie asked, “He was so...crazy eyed and weird.”</p><p> </p><p>“It definitely pinged my radar and Stan’s. Did you see his face?”</p><p> </p><p>“He looked weirded out. He was watching us when we went into Theodore’s office.”</p><p> </p><p>“I noticed that too.” Richie said, glancing at the rear view mirror, “Also notice he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...I saw that. He looked at me like a piece of meat. Like he wanted to eat me.” Eddie said, rubbing his hands together, “I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in such a short time since meeting Henry Bower’s gang the first time.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie took one of Eddie’s hands, knowing the male was nervous. He squeezed it tightly and smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t promise that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t but I can try my hardest to make sure it doesn’t.” Richie said, pulling into the garage.</p><p> </p><p>Stan pulled in after them as the door shut. They parked as Richie unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t think about it too hard. We won’t see him again, hopefully. Unless he’s our guy in which case, fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hope not. He gave me the wiggins more than I thought was possible in a three minute interaction.”</p><p> </p><p>They got out of the car and met Stan who stared at them. Their friend looked a little concerned as he looked to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“So, I’m going to say this and don’t get mad at me because I know you two are our leaders but you aren’t allowed to go anywhere by yourself.” Stan told Eddie, who gaped at him in shock.</p><p> </p><p>“Actually Eds, that isn’t a bad idea.” Richie agreed.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously? Because fucker gave me crazy eyes?”</p><p> </p><p>“Look he stared at you like Hannibal Lecter stares at rude people.” Stan said, as Richie winced, “Let’s skip the potential cannibal session.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” Eddie grumbled, “If Richie agrees.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which I do.” Richie said, as they started walking to the elevator, “What floor are the others on?”</p><p> </p><p>“Seven.” Stan told him, “The conference room on eight is taken by The Click.”</p><p> </p><p>“Douchebags.” Richie muttered, hitting seven.</p><p> </p><p>“Just because you hate Jacob doesn’t mean they’re douchebags.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jacob was a prick in training, you know that Stan.” Eddie said, “He was a fucking lunatic that tried to take not only Richie’s head off but mine with that machete.”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean...yeah.” Stan sighed, “We have to play nice while we’re here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>The elevator dinging as they exited it. Seeing the others in the conference room as they entered. Eddie went to the window and smiled at them as he leaned against the window.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like it here.” Mike said, “This building is a lot less secure than main HQ.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well main has Danny, it makes sense.” Richie told him, as Mike shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s different.”</p><p> </p><p>Although Richie wouldn’t deny the fact that he felt uneasy as well. The last time he’d had a bad feeling had been—well he didn’t want to think about that.</p><p> </p><p>“So anyone interesting besides Gage?” Bev asked, as Richie shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Just the guys yesterday that wanted to go out with us.” Eddie said, as Richie went to grab coffee next to where he was standing, “That’s it though. Everything else has been entirely normal.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s weird though right? How long did it take for the other couples to get threatened?”</p><p> </p><p>“Post marked dates state three days after they started so maybe we just have to wait another day.”</p><p> </p><p>“That sucks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry we didn’t have better news for you.” Eddie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Why aren’t you sitting in a chair?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know who has been sitting in those. At least I know the teams in main fucking shower.” Eddie told her, “And they clean these windows daily. I know because I asked.”</p><p> </p><p>“Our little clean freak.” Bill said lovingly.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes, “So did you guys see anything from any of the cameras?”</p><p> </p><p>“No one that peaked our interest so Ben hacked into their employment records. He’s going to flag people he thinks are suspicious.”</p><p> </p><p>“Solid.” Richie said, drinking his coffee, “What about agents trying to get their clients in the door?”</p><p> </p><p>“Bill is running those suspects.” Stan told him.</p><p> </p><p>“So we do have a new prototype of the grappling hook gun, it claws onto pretty much anything. You don’t have to worry about impacting anything to get a good grip.” Beverly said, “We also have some new aerosol metal eater. It’s about four times as strong as the old kind. Maggie was very proud of it when she gave it to me.”</p><p> </p><p>She handed Richie the hook gun as he looked over it. It didn’t look any different than the other one.</p><p> </p><p>“Shocker, Maggie being proud of something that isn’t me.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked like he was going to say something before they heard glass shattering. They all dropped as one to the ground. Hearing things hit the ground as Richie looked to where Eddie had been standing. The male was on the ground just as they were. Their eyes locking as they waited for it to end. The only thing Richie could think was it was Patrick. Seeing the items on the ground he realized they were gun shells.</p><p> </p><p>This was to scare them, Richie was about ninety percent positive when the gunshots ended.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck? Their windows aren’t fucking plexi?” Ben asked, eyes wide, “Beverly! Get Stan and Mike and get out now. Bill, come on! Rich, can you get Eddie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Affirmative.” Richie snapped, watching them stand up.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie and Richie standing up as the older male breathed a sigh of relief. Freezing when he saw a small red dot on his best friend’s shoulder. If he panicked Eddie would die, that was the end of it. The male was standing so close to the edge that the impact would drop him off.</p><p> </p><p>He glanced around quickly to make a plan. It was the shittiest plan in existence and it would hurt like hell but if he was fast enough he could do it.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t move!” Richie said, backing away from Eddie slowly to the table, “Eds, you’re going to be shot.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie froze at the words; not moving a muscle. Years of training together and being best friends made him react effectively to Richie’s words.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Beverly screeched, turning back as she was jerked out of the room by Stan.</p><p> </p><p>She would be in view of the window that the shot had come in from. It made her a target. Richie wouldn’t be able to leave the room and as soon as Eddie moved he’d be shot. The shot was too good to not take. But if it was Patrick at the other end he would be shot when he moved. He knew how that psychopath worked.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to drop out the window.” Richie said calmly, hearing the others freak out, “Trust me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Always.” Eddie said without hesitation, through the fear in his eyes, “I’ll always trust you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s hand slowly moved to the grapple hook gun. Eddie’s eyes flickering from the table to Richie. He could see the fear in the other male because he was shaking.</p><p> </p><p>“Stan.” Richie barked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir?” Stan asked, his training kicking in.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to inform Jackie that this building is compromised. Send her a text and then get to the second floor. Everyone else needs to haul ass to the hotel!”</p><p> </p><p>He saw them all hesitate as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Losers!”</p><p> </p><p>Seeing them straighten up as Eddie stood frozen.</p><p> </p><p>“I am ordering you back to the hotel. Make sure you lose any tails you acquire. Eddie, Stan and I will be right behind you. I am <em>not</em> letting him die, understood?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir!”</p><p> </p><p>“Go.” Richie snapped, as they dispersed, leaving them alone, “Eddie, he’s going to shoot when you move.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chee—if you don’t catch me-”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.” Richie told him, “I’m going to catch you. I will always catch you Edward Kaspbrak.”</p><p> </p><p>That shut Eddie up as he stared at the male. It looked like a thousand emotions went through the smaller male in that moment before his face went carefully blank. Richie, himself, was feeling a lot of emotions. He wanted so much to tell Eddie so many things.</p><p> </p><p>Richie fisted the grappling hook gun. Looking at where he was going to shoot it. Eight floors up and the gun was good for six. If Eddie moved just right it would graze him and they could patch him up easily at the hotel. They’d haul ass to their car in the garage and lose any tails.</p><p> </p><p>“Move.” Richie said, as Eddie did just that.</p><p> </p><p>It would be in the top three worst things he’d ever see in his life. He knew that as soon as he watched Eddie get hit and go backwards. Falling into thin air as Richie ran after him; shooting at one of the support beams as it attached seamlessly. Jumping without hesitation after the smaller male seconds after Eddie had fallen.</p><p> </p><p>He’d have nightmares about it; about not catching him. About Eddie slipping through his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>But he’d have the peace of mind of knowing he caught him. Grabbing Eddie’s forearm as he felt the male’s hand grip his tightly. Both hit the side of the building hard as the younger cried out sharply. Staring up at Richie as the male struggled to keep hold of both Eddie and the gun.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you see Stan?” Richie asked, his voice tight as his muscles strained.</p><p> </p><p>“Not yet...if you have to-”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up Eddie!” Richie snapped, gripping onto him harder, “Where’d he hit you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Grazed my right arm, he went a little low.” Eddie said, his other arm coming to grip on Richie’s, “I’m slipping, Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>“Look at me.” Richie said, as Eddie’s eyes locked on his, “You’ll be fine. Stan is hauling ass to us okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Two floors isn’t going to kill me.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you land wrong it could break your leg or an arm.”</p><p> </p><p>The glass next to them breaking as Stan’s head peaked out.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Grab him!” Richie snapped at him.</p><p> </p><p>“You have to swing him.” Stan told him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie cursed under his breath as he looked to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Prop your feet on the glass and then try to run on it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie struggled with the grip he had on Richie’s hand and arm. Standing on the glass and trying to move before slipping and hitting the glass again with a groan.</p><p> </p><p>“Stan, god—fuck...I need you to fucking help!” Richie yelled, “My grip is slipping on the gun!”</p><p> </p><p>The glass right next to them breaking as Stan appeared again. Grabbing Eddie and struggling to get him inside. Richie felt his hand slipping and looked past Eddie to the ground. If he fell then he could possibly curve his body to soften the blow of the ground. It would all go into his forearm and wrist but he could pull it off. Or he could angle it and land on his shoulder. Dislocate his shoulder which would hurt like a bitch but he would have full mobile control of his arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on Stan! Hurry up!” Eddie shouted at him, noticing Richie’s grip slipping, “Before Richie falls!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m trying! The angle is fucking awkward!”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you have him Stan?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes! Let go of him!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie did just that as Eddie slid on the glass below. The male turning and gripping the gun with his other hand. Both of his arms were burning as he tried to breathe through the pain.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, you better hold on.” Eddie snapped at him, planting his feet on the glass to try and help Stan pull him in.</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t promise that, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chee-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie pushed off from the glass and slammed into it. Growling as he looked to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be fine, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chee, don’t!”</p><p> </p><p>Planting his feet again as he looked down. He could lessen the damage of the fall if he landed in the bushes. Kicking off and letting go as he hit the bushes hard; his shoulder slamming into the ground as he screamed out in pain. Knowing without looking his shoulder had dislocated. Seeing Eddie being pulled inside made him feel better as he turned on his side. Taking in a deep breath as he buried his face into the ground. Taking a deep breath as he avoided moving for a moment. The pain that was pulsing from his shoulder was a little overwhelming at first. It wasn’t nothing compared to what he was used to however.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here!” Richie said loudly.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing Stan’s face as he looked at Richie’s shoulder then him.</p><p> </p><p>“We have to move now….we can fix my shoulder in the car.” Richie groaned, “Come on!”</p><p> </p><p>Stan helped him up with Eddie assisting him. All three of them running to the garage. Every step felt like murder to Richie’s shoulder. Holding it in place as they got to the car. Stan getting the keys from Richie’s pocket as Eddie jerked him into the passenger seat. Richie was in between the two males as Stan peeled out of the parking lot. Eddie stared at Richie’s arm and then him.</p><p> </p><p>“I have to put your arm back in place.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“We are going to have a tail on us, without a doubt. Your shoulder will be killing you if we don’t put it in place.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him as Eddie frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Always.” Richie breathed, ignoring the look Stan tossed them.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie moving Richie’s body and taking his arm. The two looked at each other as Eddie swallowed hard.</p><p> </p><p>“On the count of three.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie didn’t know what to say to that.</p><p> </p><p>“One.” Eddie said, before twisting and jerking on his arm.</p><p> </p><p>They both heard it pop as Richie screamed out. A whimper passing his lips as Eddie pulled him close and tucked Richie’s head under his chin.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry Chee.” Eddie said softly, “Stan, do we have a tail?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just the one. I’m going to try to lose them. First aid kit is in the glove compartment. Richie, help clean him up.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sat up just a little with a wince. Getting the first kit out and turning to Eddie’s shirt. Ripping it open and seeing the wound. Letting out a sigh of relief at it. It was a small wound. Eddie had moved just enough for it to not cause a major wound.</p><p> </p><p>Taking out what he needed and starting to clean the wound. Eddie staying perfectly still as he watched Richie carefully.</p><p> </p><p>“How’s the shoulder, Rich?”</p><p> </p><p>“Throbbing but I’ve had worse.” Richie sighed, “Eddie, you’re lucky it missed as much as it did.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Eddie said, watching him with a strange look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>Stan driving like a crazy person to lose their tail. When he slowed down they knew they had lost them. Richie leaning against Eddie heavily as Stan pulled up to the hotel. Their friend didn’t wait for them as he got out and went inside. Richie and Eddie following slowly as they both took their time.</p><p> </p><p>Stan had left them in the dust; Eddie hitting the elevator button as they waited. Richie knew that Eddie was looking at him but also understood that he would say nothing until they were safely inside.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at his phone when it vibrated. Staring at the message and taking a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stan is filling us in on what happened. You and Eddie can go to your suite and rest for a little while. We’re all so relieved that you guys are safe. We love you! -Bev</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Looking at the metal part so they could get inside. Eddie hitting their floor as Richie leaned against the wall. His head tilted up before looking over to the other male. Eddie was pacing on the small elevator; a look crossing his face before it left just as quickly. Richie watched his best friend because Eddie wasn’t acting like he usually did. Going over to the male and touching his arm in concern.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at him before his gaze moved away. Something firm crossed his face before the male took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>Richie expected him to say that he was a fucking idiot. That he was insane for what he’d done.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t expected Eddie to kiss him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Feelings are spoken and truths are told.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie was in shock was the thing. In the four different scenarios he had thought of Eddie kissing him hadn’t even been a possibility. Feeling Eddie start to pull away snapped him out of it. Pulling him back and returning the kiss; feeling a soft gasp escape the smaller male. Richie backed them up until Eddie’s back came against a wall. His tongue sweeping gently across Eddie’s lower lip as the male’s mouth opened. Richie went easy on the younger male. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Eddie with how intense his feelings for him were. Especially if this was an adrenaline mistake.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling away from Eddie just enough to see when his eyes flickered open.</p><p> </p><p>“Too much?” Richie asked, as Eddie shook his head, “What was that for?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s nose bumped his chin as he breathed harshly against his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“I had to kiss you. Actually kiss you.” Eddie said softly, “For a split second back there I thought I was going to die. That I wouldn’t move enough and get actually shot. And I promised myself...if I live through this I’m going to tell Richie how I feel.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s arms tightened around Eddie who nuzzled his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“Which is what?” Richie asked gently, “How do you feel about me, Eddie?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been in love with you since we were fourteen.” Eddie told him, “I’m still in love with you. You’re my favorite person in this world, Richie Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s hand went from Eddie’s lower back to cupping the male’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve loved you since we were thirteen, so I can assure you that the feeling is very mutual Eddie Kaspbrak.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank God.” Eddie said in relief, “I’m not going to lie to you, I was terrified you were going to push me away.”</p><p> </p><p>“Never in your life.” Richie told him, as Eddie brought his legs up on the couch facing the older male.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we take it slow?” Eddie asked, seeing Richie’s face fall, “For me. I’ve never...you know I only dated like two people in high school. They weren’t you so I wasn’t interested in much else. And the thought of sex is very...intimidating to me. Honestly it could be left over trauma from Sonia. I have no clue if I’m entirely honest. I just-”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds, it’s fine. We’ll take this slow.” Richie said, caressing one cheek as Eddie leaned into it, “Fuck, I just...I’m so into you.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie laughed gently, “Want to make out?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just smiled and leaned closer to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey guys—whoa!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to see Stan and Ben turn around. Pulling away from Eddie who huffed.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up he says as if we didn’t just walk in on something.” Stan said to himself before turning, “So is this a thing now? Did you finally man up and tell him?”</p><p> </p><p>“He kissed me first. He confessed first.” Richie told Stan who rolled his eyes, “Hey! I confessed right back!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m surrounded by idiots.” Stan sighed, as Ben giggled.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright Scar, calm down.” Ben said, “We got a hit on the shooter from Jackie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Patrick Hockstetter.” Richie guessed, seeing the looks on their faces, “I figured as much already.”</p><p> </p><p>“How so?” Stan asked.</p><p> </p><p>“He hesitated to shoot Eddie until he moved. Patrick likes to play with his targets it’s a simple deduction.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Get the team in here...we need to talk.” Richie told Ben, who nodded and left.</p><p> </p><p>Stan shifted uneasily, “Why do I have a feeling I’m going to get very upset?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you are.” Eddie told him, wincing.</p><p> </p><p>One by one the Losers filed in and sat around the room. Richie and Eddie shared a look before the older male sighed and leaned against the cushions of the couch. Eddie curled up into his left side and it didn’t go unnoticed by the others who all looked a little stunned.</p><p> </p><p>“Patrick’s been texting me since right before I got out of the hospital.” Richie told them, “I didn’t drop my phone the other day. Eddie found out about Patrick and threw my phone out of the car. We knew he was in New York, I just didn’t think he’d do something. I figured he was just trying to get into my head. He’s kind of gotten good at that.”</p><p> </p><p>“You knew a hostile operative was here and didn’t tell us.” Mike said slowly, “What the fuck, Rich?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, hold on.” Beverly growled, “That bitch has been texting you this whole time and you didn’t tell us. What the hell? Did you think we’d judge you or something? We’re here to help you, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“You guys had already been so stressed and scared after the attack. I didn’t want to add to that unnecessarily. The texts were harmless until the other day.”</p><p> </p><p>“What did they say?” Stan asked, his face and tone calm.</p><p> </p><p>Richie shook his head, “Just...stuff. I miss your screams...your body….your blood. He’d text me things to fuck with me. I swear I thought that’s all it was. Until he asked how I was liking New York. And even then I didn’t think he’d attack us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Bill said, holding a hand up, “Compartmentalize everything guys. First off, Richie, we aren’t angry we’re frustrated and worried. You’re one of our best friends and we want to be there for you for all of your recovery. Whether you want us to acknowledge it or not we are concerned for your well being. You have to let us in, I don’t give a fuck how you were raised by your low grade parents. Secondly, I can understand why you didn’t tell us. It would have worried us a lot about you going places alone and you were already feeling claustrophobic and suffocated by everyone. However, as soon as that text came through about New York we should have been told. Lastly, are you okay now?”</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t stutter.” Ben said, amazed.</p><p> </p><p>Bill rolled his eyes as Richie licked his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry you guys. There’s some stuff I think I can keep from you as your leader. I’m alright now but I just—Patrick has a way of getting into my head and making me think the worst scenario is going to happen.” Richie told them, “You’re one hundred percent right, I should’ve told you when he texted about being here but I didn’t. That’s on me and it could have had serious repercussions.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie squeezed his hand tightly before Richie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“That being said, we know he’s here now. He isn’t going to flee.” Richie said, “He targeted Eddie out of everyone in the room because he knows how I feel for him. Therefore, he’s going back to Los Angeles tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Eddie said loudly, turning and looking at him, “No I’m fucking not!”</p><p> </p><p>“That wasn’t a request.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m staying right here with you.” Eddie snapped at him, “I’m not ditching you-”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know what it would do to me if he hurt you? Actually hurt you and not winged you like he did today?” Richie interrupted, looking at Eddie’s eyes, “You are the reason I fought to get out of the warehouse. The thought of you, of seeing and being with you is what kept me fighting. It’s what made me cut into my wrist and get it out of that fucking shackle. It’s what made me try to get out. It’s what made me fight last time. He knows you’re my weakness and if he took you? I know what I would do and it scares me.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what’s that?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d kill every single person that stood in between me and Eddie.” Richie said seriously, “There’s a monster inside all of us. It’s how we can do this job. The monster in me would be unleashed if something happened to Eddie. Do you want to know what would happen?”</p><p> </p><p>No one said anything as Richie turned to look at Eddie again.</p><p> </p><p>“He would take you and torture you. He’d start at your hands because those are what you’re most proud of. You’re quick with your hands. Then he’d go to your legs and cut your Achilles tendons because of your signature move. He’d dismantle every piece of you before raping you. And while he did it he would let you know why it was your fault. Why I’d never want you again even if it’s a fucking lie. He’d tell you every single thing that’s wrong with your body. He’d destroy you all because he knows I love you.” Richie said, seeing Eddie pale, “And after that he’ll do it again and again. Until you feel like you’re going to go insane because of how much pain you’re in. Because of how dirty you feel and unloved and unwanted. Because of how broken he’s made you because you’ll never get that part of you back again. No matter how hard you want it back or how hard you try. Because everything that made you innocent and hopeful will die in that room, on that floor with your blood running down a fucking drain. And he’ll laugh the whole time and those laughs will haunt you in your dreams for the rest of your life.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t see the others looking incredibly heartbroken by his speech. Knew from Eddie’s eyes that it was the closest he’d get to Richie telling him about his experience with Patrick.</p><p> </p><p>“So I’m going to text Jackie and she is going to have people escort you home. You’ll be on lockdown in HQ. I’ll text Danny as soon as I’m off the phone with Jackie. The rest of us will stay here and fight.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about the mission?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“About that.” Stan interrupted, also pale from Richie’s words, “Gage is a known associate of Henry Bowers. They’re cousins.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then he’s our killer. Beverly, snipe his ass.” Richie told the red head who nodded, “And then we’ll go fishing for Hockstetter.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fishing?” Bill asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be bait for the bastard.” Richie said, “We’ll wait for him to move on me and then snatch his ass up. And then I’m killing him. From now on, if someone is a threat to us, we’re killing them. No more mercy from our team.”</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed.” Stan said firmly, as the others nodded their heads in agreement.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to go.” Eddie said softly, “I want to stay here and fight. I want to help you kill him.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at Eddie before glancing at the others.</p><p> </p><p>“Everyone, go do some training in one of the rooms. I don’t care if it’s suicides or just running place. We’ll start fresh in the morning.”</p><p> </p><p>No one said a word against it as they filed out except for Stan. One look at the male said all that it needed to. Stan was not leaving because he wanted to part of this talk. Richie stood up and went to the window. Looking outside at the setting sun before turning to Eddie who had stayed on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t let you stay.”</p><p> </p><p>“He could just as easily intercept me en route to the airport.” Eddie argued, “We don’t know if his whole team is here or if it’s just him.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him, “Eds-”</p><p> </p><p>“No. I’m not running away from this. What if you get taken again?” Eddie asked, “He’ll know you’re bait but he won’t know if I am.”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Richie said forcefully, “Absolutely not!”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually Rich, he would make more sense as bait.” Stan said, as Richie felt ice go down his spine, “In Hockstetter’s mind he’d probably believe we didn’t make the connection as to why Eddie was targeted.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I would know. He has to know that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then...we let him bug your room.” Stan told him, “We let him see that you two are getting closer. We’ll have Eddie sneak out when you’re pretending to be asleep to get you breakfast. What he won’t know is that the rest of us Losers will be waiting.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s too risky-”</p><p> </p><p>“Like you being bait isn’t?” Eddie asked, “Why is your life worth less than mine?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because—you...I...” Richie turned and punched the wall.</p><p> </p><p>Hearing Eddie and Stan gasp as he turned and slid down the wall. Putting his hands through his hair as he took in a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Because if it weren’t for me you guys would be doing things you wanted to. Eddie you’d be a doctor or a nurse somewhere. Stan would be an accountant or some voiceover guy on nature documentaries...you wouldn’t do this. And Patrick is my problem.”</p><p> </p><p>“You idiot.” Stan said, “You’re right, at first we did this for you, but now we actually like it. This job is fun minus the killing. Now we’re doing it because we’re a family, you can’t split us apart. We’re Losers and we always fucking will be.”</p><p> </p><p>“And Patrick is all of our problems.” Eddie said, “He <em>hurt</em> you. You hurt one of us you hurt all of us. He—he took something from you that none of us will ever understand. But none of us are going to run away from it. We’re going to help you fight and kill him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not going to change my mind. I won’t get on a plane. And if you drug me to get me on a plane I’ll never forgive you.” Eddie said seriously, “I love you Richie which means I’ll take any risk necessary if it means protecting and keeping you safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jesus that’s sweet.” Stan said softly, “I hate you both. Eddie is staying Richie. We’re going to use him as bait and we’ll take every precaution necessary to keep him safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>hate</em> this idea.” Richie told them, “Like top ten worst ideas.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well we’re doing it. We’ll keep on the case for a few days and then put our plan in motion. I’ll let the others know.” Stan said, leaving them alone.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked up at Eddie who had stood up from the couch. Shaking his head and putting his head back down on his knees. He heard Eddie come over and slide down the wall to sit next to him.</p><p> </p><p>“If we’re going to be in a relationship...we have to talk things out. You can’t just decide things for me, Chee. We’re in this together.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just don’t want you to get hurt by him. Trust me, I know what will happen.” Richie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t. Do you really think if we plan this out with contingencies that it’ll go wrong? Stan is like a fucking genius at strategy. If we all put in our own smarts it’ll be fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know that. Like you said, we don’t know who he has with him.” Richie told him, “I’m scared, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie said nothing for a long moment. Letting that one admittance linger in the air. Eddie got on his knees in front of Richie and pulled his head up slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee, look at me. It’s alright to be scared. I’m not going anywhere though. Patrick doesn’t scare me, what he could do doesn’t scare me. What scares me is leaving you alone with him for a third time. Please trust your team and me to do this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Richie said softly, “By the way, I do trust you guys it’s just...hard to think straight when someone as crazy as Patrick is involved.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which is fair. He’s hurt you a lot but not anymore.” Eddie said, caressing Richie’s cheek, “We’ll take care of this.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie leaned into Eddie’s hand, looking at the male who smiled at him gently. Placing a gentle kiss on the older male’s lips before pulling away just a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Now let’s get some room service sent up and cuddle on the couch. Sound good?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds amazing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great. What would you like?” Eddie asked, helping Richie off the floor. He grabbed the menu before sitting down with Richie on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care, you pick.” Richie said, pulling Eddie in between his legs and hugging him from behind.</p><p> </p><p>He turned the television on as Eddie grabbed the phone and dragged it over to them. Placing it on the floor as he called their order in. When he was done he leaned into Richie with a contented sigh leaving his lips.</p><p> </p><p>Ducking and laying a kiss on Eddie’s neck. He couldn’t ignore the way the male shivered just a little at the action.</p><p> </p><p>Smiling when the younger male arched his neck just a little.</p><p> </p><p>“That feels nice.” Eddie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded with a pleased sound. Richie nuzzling his neck before laying another kiss on it.</p><p> </p><p>“So I had an idea.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p> </p><p>“I agreed that we should go slow. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t tease you to hell and back.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie laughed softly, “How did I know this was going to happen?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you’ve known me since we were kids.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s right.” Eddie said, shaking his head, “Now you remind me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly, “I’m scared for you Eddie. I know what Patrick can and will do if he gets his hands on you. I can’t stand the thought of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be fine, Chee. I promise you, nothing is going to happen.”</p><p> </p><p>But Eddie couldn’t promise that.</p><p> </p><p>Richie kissed his neck gently as a response as his thoughts spiraled. If Patrick got his hands on Eddie the chances of Richie getting him back were slim to none. That thought terrified him more than anything. He’d find Eddie’s body broken and used and dead.</p><p> </p><p>Watching the love of his life breathe as they watched the television.</p><p> </p><p>His only hope of changing that was if Patrick found Richie first.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie asks for help from his parents. Then ends up having a flashback that he'd wished he'd never had.</p><p>Please read the Chapter Notes</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wanted to update again since it'd been so long. Unfortunately this isn't a happy update.</p><p>Trigger warning for graphic violence, rape, flashbacks and panic attacks. I feel like Patrick Hockstetter should be his own trigger warning?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The hardest part of the mission was now that he and Eddie had both confessed all they wanted to do was make out. Which wasn’t the best idea because of the fact that they had to do a job. The other hard part was running a counter-strategy so Eddie wouldn’t be in Patrick’s cross hairs again. He didn’t want to deal with that heart ache if he didn’t have to.</p><p> </p><p>He was in one of the other rooms on their floor. Knowing that Patrick had planted a bug and camera in his and Eddie’s room. Looking at the television that he’d hooked up to his laptop. Seeing Went’s face with his mother’s on the television made him pause.</p><p> </p><p>“Well this is a surprise.” Went said, brow raised, “Why the call?”</p><p> </p><p>“Patrick’s in New York.” Richie told him, seeing Went frown, “The team wants to set up a trap and use Eddie as bait.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would they do that? Patrick usually targets you.” Maggie said, before her eyes widened, “Unless Patrick figured out your weakness for Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right in one, Mags.” Richie said, seeing his parents faces morph terrifyingly, “I need a favor.”</p><p> </p><p>“A favor? From us?” Went asked, stopping Maggie from talking, “Why do I fear this is a favor neither of us wants to grant?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, it could be worthwhile.” Richie laughed, “I need you to talk to Danny about sending Chris and Gordie my way. I might also need Roland.”</p><p> </p><p>“You want three operatives away from their teams?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I need them. I need to get rid of Patrick before he makes a play for Eddie.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s changed?” Maggie questioned, “Why would Patrick go for Eddie even if he knows that’s your soft spot?”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie and I are together now.” Richie said, seeing their shock, “It just happened two days ago. It’s still fresh, however we let him plant a bug and camera in our room. He knows that it’s going to get serious which means he’ll strike. He’s obsessed with me for some reason.”</p><p> </p><p>“So why Chris, Gordie and Roland?”</p><p> </p><p>“Roland is one of the best trackers in our company. Chris and Gordie can provide back up for me so that another incident doesn’t happen.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not get your team involved?”</p><p> </p><p>“They believe they know better. It’s easier to launch a counter strategy instead of fighting it.”</p><p> </p><p>Went hadn’t looked at him for almost three minutes; Maggie on the other hand looked scared as she stared at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“This is dangerous.” Maggie told him, “And foolish if you fail. You’re going to give this boy a chance at a third time of hurting you. That isn’t something I can abide by-”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand it makes the Tozier name look bad. I get that, Mags. I don’t care at this point. If Patrick takes Eddie then I will not stop until every single person responsible is dead.” Richie said seriously, “I-”</p><p> </p><p>“Danny approved Chris, Gordie and Roland to come to New York. They’ll be there in two days when they’re finished with their own missions.” Went said, looking up, “We’ll be there in two hours.”</p><p> </p><p>“W-What?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you really think we’re going to let you get kidnapped by this psychopath a third time?” Went asked, “I will not stand by and let you get tortured a third time and become a joke in MATURIN. Unfortunately for me, you’re the pride of our family name and we have to keep it that way.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly, “Jesus, that’s all you care about is how we look.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re still such a child.” Went told him hatefully, “Our <em>name</em> is what keeps people from coming and killing us. If we’re on top of the game and we show no sign of stopping then it gives us protection. It makes people think twice before fucking with us. With the exception of Patrick Hockstetter, every person you’ve come across you’ve beaten. Let this be a lesson, Richard, you want to keep Eddie safe after this then you stay on top. You don’t let anyone or anything knock you down. You do that boy is as good as dead. Because if you think Hockstetter hasn’t leaked that that boy is your weakness than you’re an idiot. Now, your mother and I will be there in two hours. Text us the hotel information and we’ll send it to Chris, Gordie and Roland. We’ll want our own room and we’ll expect you there to greet us, understood?”</p><p> </p><p>“And how the fuck do you think I’m going to explain you two being here to the rest of the Losers?”</p><p> </p><p>“Say that Danny sent us with some new gadgets for the mission. He sent us to help because he heard whispers of Patrick being in New York.” Maggie said.</p><p> </p><p>“I-”</p><p> </p><p>“Richard, you are going to listen to us or so help me God I will give you a lesson when we get there. We are coming whether you like it or not. Now, make sure your team knows you’re coming. Make sure they’re prepared to brief us on the situation so we can sell the story. Then the three of us will sit down and plan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir.” Richie said stiffly.</p><p> </p><p>“Drop the attitude, you’ll pay for that when I get there.” Went said, hanging up the call.</p><p> </p><p>The screen went black as Richie sat on the bed heavily. Putting his head in his hands and feeling his eyes burn. It said something that he knew that he was going to get a lesson when he called them.</p><p> </p><p>A Tozier never asked for help. It was one of the first lessons he’d ever been taught. He knew that the lesson wouldn’t be fun. Just like he knew better than to fight it when they got here. All that led to was more hurt and pain.</p><p> </p><p>He may be in his twenties but that didn’t mean that Went would ever stop the lessons.</p><p> </p><p>Rubbing at his eyes as he looked up when the door closed. Eddie frowned at him from the doorway before coming over to him.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on? Why are you crying?”</p><p> </p><p>“Went and Maggie are two hours out.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Eddie asked in shock.</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Eddie and then folded down. Putting his head back in his hands as he tried to focus on the panic that was starting to envelop him.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling the bed dip next to him. He felt a hand on his back as he flinched without being able to stop it. Eddie looked at him in shock and a small amount of hurt.</p><p> </p><p>He had to lie out of necessity. He couldn’t let Eddie get hurt by Patrick. Eddie admitted to wanting to take things slowly. He knew it was because of multiple reasons. Sonia Kaspbrak’s lies and hateful comments was one reason. That and the thought of sex was terrifying to the male. Even Richie wasn’t ready for that yet.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick wouldn’t care.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick would take and break.</p><p> </p><p>“You ever think to yourself...one day I’ll stop being such a disappointment to them?” Richie asked, “I never will be. They found out that Patrick is in New York from Danny.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well fuck.” Eddie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen when they get here.” Richie said, “Went didn’t sound very pleased.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wentworth Tozier has never been pleased a day in his life. Even fucking your mom never made him pleased.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed harshly before sniffling.</p><p> </p><p>“That won’t stop him from raining hell down on my ass.” Richie said, wiping his eyes, “I’m going to go train.”</p><p> </p><p>Getting off the bed and moving to go before feeling a hand on his forearm.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop...why are you going to train?” Eddie asked, “We’re doing a movie night with the team.”</p><p> </p><p>“You guys can do that without me. I’m not in the mood for movies Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at him for a moment before taking a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Then I’ll come train with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can watch movies with the others, it’s fine-”</p><p> </p><p>“You aren’t though. You didn’t come to Stan’s room with the rest of us and you’re closing yourself off again. I know you hate our plan but please don’t be mad at us. I just don’t want to see you hurt again.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I don’t want to see you hurt, period. There isn’t shit that Patrick can do anymore that will hurt me. I can take it, Eddie...I know what to expect. You don’t. And now I get to deal with my parents so yeah, you’re right I’m not fine. What I am, however, is fucking tired of this shit. I am a leader of this team and I was outvoted, fine. I don’t have to like it. And if Went comes and sees that we’ve slacked in training or that I have in particular, he will rip me a new one.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not if we don’t leave you alone with him.” Eddie said, pulling Richie to him, opening his legs to make room for the taller male, “Stay here with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds-”</p><p> </p><p>The smaller male pulling him in for a kiss. Richie couldn’t stop the small sound that left him. His hands going to Eddie’s neck and holding him still. It was a gentle and sweet kiss. Richie, however, knew that the male was trying to distract him.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling a hand on the small of his back as Eddie pulled him up against him. Moving away from Richie’s mouth as his lips kissed the underside of his jaw. Richie’s eyes fluttered shut as he breathed out sharply. The younger male’s nose ghosting his neck as it pulled a whimper from the other male.</p><p> </p><p>When the hand dropped lower as he felt Eddie’s hand barely ghost his ass. A deep groan left Eddie as Richie felt his blood turn to ice.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shh, you’ll like it. Stop fighting and enjoy it, Chee.” a vicious voice said in his ear, crying in pain, “Don’t worry, no one will want you like I do. Not like this, it’s all you’re good for. Just a hole for me to fuck and dump. Not even your precious Eddie will want you if he knows what I’ve done. No one will.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie flinched out of Eddie’s hold; staring at him with wide, confused eyes as he breathed out shakily. Feeling panic overwhelm him as it enveloped him in its hold. He didn’t see Eddie anymore but Patrick. Backing away and hitting the wall hard before sliding down it. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like he couldn’t move without there being a consequence to his actions.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Just remember, when he rejects you you’ll always have me.” a voice growled, holding him down, taking him apart with cruel words, “Don’t worry, I’ll never run away from you.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was crying; he remembers crying so much and so hard he thought it was impossible. Pain licking up his backside like fire. Patrick’s hand going from his wrists to his throat when he realized that Richie had stopped moving. That he’d stopped reacting at all. Richie had gone into his own head, wanting nothing but to be with his friends. Instead of here, feeling nothing but pain and feeling dirtier than he thought was possible. His brain wasn’t wanting to process what was happening to me as he felt a dull throb go up his spine as he felt him thrust into him without a care in the world. If he stopped fighting then maybe it would stop hurting?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Richie!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wondering when his friends would save him from this...he couldn’t take much more of it. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed but it was too much. Too many times of this...of <b>him</b> taking what he wanted. His first time stolen from him by someone he despised. Richie had no choice...he never had a choice…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>See I told you that you’d like it.” came the soft laugh against his cheek.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No matter how much he screamed or how many times he pleaded he would be ignored. And he knew that Patrick was right...if Eddie knew...he’d never want Richie. It was just a fact in his brain. Who want want someone so damaged?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You feel so good. Your blood just—do you know what that does to me?”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was limp like a doll. Hoping that maybe if he didn’t react—if there was no response he’d be left alone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That wouldn’t be the case.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You know, we can actually thank Eddie for this.” a hiss came, “He went ahead of you and that’s how I caught you.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It was taunted in his ear as he tried to ignore it. Eddie wouldn’t have left him if he’d known what was going to happen. Richie wasn’t sure of much but he was sure of that. He knew his best friend better than this fucker. He knew that Patrick wanted to hurt him by any means necessary….he wouldn’t let him use this.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>So fucking pretty...this hair...these eyes. Your screams are like music, I could listen to you scream all night.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He wished that this was his first time with Eddie. That it was soft hands instead of rough….gentle words instead of hateful ones. He wanted a choice in what happened to him and his body. But he knew...there was no doubt in his mind...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He would never get a choice in the matter.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Richie! Fucking hell! Stan! Bev! Guys!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Patrick knew if he kept talking it would keep Richie in the here and now. That he’d be focused on the threats and the fear. That he wouldn’t be able to escape, even in his mind.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Screaming when he felt something sharp dig into his arm. Tears burning tracks down his cheeks as he felt his chest tighten as another scream built up but wouldn’t release.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shit, I’ll have to let Henry have a go too. He was wondering if your ass was worth it too.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He couldn’t—he couldn’t handle another round. He couldn’t do it...he’d go insane. He’d already lost count of how many times Patrick had done this to him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Feeling another cut being dug across his arm as a scream tore out of him. Feeling it drip down his arm and crying when he felt Patrick’s tongue run across it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Stop.” Richie breathed quietly, “Please...stop.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>There he is. I thought you had finally broken. I’m glad you haven’t yet.” Patrick cooed, “My favorite toy.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Was he a toy? Was this all he was good for? He thought of his parents telling him he was annoying...of all the times that he’d been told he was too much and annoying.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Stop.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Not quite yet.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Richie please!”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Stop...stop….stop.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He felt like he was genuinely going crazy.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Richie snap out of it!”</p><p> </p><p>“Rich, breathe! You have to fucking breathe!”</p><p> </p><p>“Back off! He’s having a goddamn flashback.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Stop.” his voice was dead, he just wanted the pain to be over.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Richie...Chee...come back to me. Listen to my voice, you aren’t there. You’re here with me...it’s Eddie. You’re safe...whatever you’re seeing it isn’t real!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Except it was real...this had happened to him. He thought that he was okay...that he would be okay.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, I love you.” Eddie’s voice cut through the panic, “I love you so much. I’ve loved you since you shoved Troy Vander down the slide because he made fun of my asthma. Please listen to my voice.”</p><p> </p><p>Breathing out heavily as his eyes focused on the forms in front of him. Eddie’s body came into focus first, his hands on his face as Richie flinched out of them. Shaking his head and covering his face as he tried to remember what his therapist said.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I feel my hair and the floor. I smell Eddie’s cologne and Stan’s body wash. I hear Beverly crying and a car outside. I see my sneakers and the bed. I taste blood in my mouth and mint. I feel the wood underneath me and the wall at my back. I smell Bill’s mouthwash and Mike’s fabric softener. I hear honking and a show in the next room. I taste blood and mint. I feel my jeans and my shirt. I smell Eddie’s shampoo and Ben’s deodorant. I hear my friends breathing and a shoe tapping the floor. I see the laptop and hdmi cable. I taste blood and mint.” Richie rambled, trying to focus on his senses instead of the panic, seeing the horrified looks on his friends faces as he finally came back to himself, “I feel the pain behind me and the wood molding. I smell Eddie’s soap and Beverly’s perfume. I hear sniffling and coughing. I see the coffee table and the book I was going to read. I taste blood and mint.”</p><p> </p><p>Breathing out one last breath as he leaned against the wall. Seeing the Losers looking at him in fear.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that?” Ben asked first.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about it.” Richie said, wiping his tears away.</p><p> </p><p>“You were fucking catatonic Richard.” Beverly snapped, “You wouldn’t respond to Eddie or any of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Richie told them, standing up.</p><p> </p><p>“It isn’t fine!” Eddie yelled, standing up with him, “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing! It’s fine!” Richie snapped, “Back off!”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, people don’t have flashbacks if they’re fine.” Stan said softly, “Which is what that was. After we found out what happened...I did some research. What happened to trigger it-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not talking about this.” Richie told them, “I am going to train.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chee, you can talk to us about this.” Eddie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“And I don’t want to, so please respect that.” Richie said frantically, “It’s already too much that you guys know...I don’t want you to know the details. Not right now. So please...let me go. I need to be alone...please.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked at him and Richie could see that he was holding back tears. Shutting his eyes tightly as he breathed out.</p><p> </p><p>“Let him go guys.” Eddie said, taking a step back and away from Richie.</p><p> </p><p>The others cleared the way as Richie left quickly. Not bothering to look back. If he had he would’ve seen the worried looks on six different faces.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie heads back to the hotel and has a few surprises in store for him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning for graphic violence. Also this is a little bit longer than most of the chapters so I hope that's okay.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t that Richie was ignoring his friends. It was that he was processing what had happened. He hadn’t had a flashback in three years. He’d worked so hard to get past that part of his recovery and it had just...come back like it’d never left. It’d only been a few hours but he hated the effect it’d had on him. He’d gone to the New York office; to their training floor.</p><p> </p><p>He tuck rolled under two knives sent his way by Jackie before getting to his feet and sending his own her way. She went into the splits before sweeping them together and getting to her feet. A time out being called as his phone rang. He went to it and opened the text message. Seeing his parents had made it just fine. Texting that he was training with Jackie.</p><p> </p><p>“So why are you here training instead of with your team chilling?”</p><p> </p><p>“Went and Maggie are here.” Richie said, “And I just didn’t want to hang out tonight. So much has happened lately.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I never thought that our conference room would be shot at. Otherwise we would’ve gone with plexi.”</p><p> </p><p>“You should have gone with plexi anyways, Jackie.” Richie told her.</p><p> </p><p>He’d known Jackie since he had been ten and she’d been fourteen. She was the youngest operative to rise to a leadership position in charge of a whole building and teams at the age of nineteen.</p><p> </p><p>“Hindsight is fifty fifty, Richie. I didn’t know you would get shot at by Patrick Hockstetter.”</p><p> </p><p>He set his phone down after Went and Maggie had replied that they’d see him when he got back. Taking a swig of water before turning back to her. She handed him a pair of sai as he spun them easily in his hands. Holding them against his forearms with a grin to Jackie who laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll let you fight Hoyt. I have to do his training evaluation on sai blades.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded as Hoyt came over from where he’d been fighting Bobby. Taking the sai from Jackie as she stepped back.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe I’m fighting Richie Tozier. This is like...insane to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now Hoyt, he isn’t going to go easy on you.” Jackie told him, “Hostile operatives won’t go easy on you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know...it’s just...it’s Richie fucking Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>His name was a curse, Richie decided. He wished for a moment that he was someone like Chris Chambers or his cousin Mike Wheeler. Where they weren’t known everywhere but in Los Angeles.</p><p> </p><p>Richie went on the offensive. Their sai clanging together loudly as Jackie watched them both. Hoyt was sloppy with the blades. He wasn’t letting them do the work. They were supposed to be an extension of the arm. Richie dropping down and sweeping out Hoyt’s legs from under him. Rolling onto him and placing the blades at his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, what do you think happened?” Jackie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Hoyt is uncomfortable with the blades and it shows because he doesn’t treat them the way he should. You’re supposed to let it take the brunt of the hits not use your body to lessen the blow.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just don’t feel like I’ll use them-”</p><p> </p><p>“Never assume you won’t.” Richie said, standing up, “If I had thought that about some weapons I didn’t like to use then I would’ve been killed by now. Practice with them or you’ll regret it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir.” Hoyt said, before Richie’s phone began ringing again.</p><p> </p><p>He went to it and picked it up. Staring at the missed calls and messages he had from Eddie and Beverly. He took a deep breath before turning to Jackie and tossing the blades to her.</p><p> </p><p>“You being summoned by your parents?”</p><p> </p><p>“Something like that.” Richie said, “I’ll see you later. Thanks for training with me Jackie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Anytime Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie grabbed his bag and left. He had walked all the way to the building for the fresh air. Debating on whether or not he should do the same or call for a ride. Deciding that he would walk as he unlocked his phone. Pulling up Went’s number and video calling him.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are you?” Went asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello to you too, Went.” Richie sighed, “I’m walking home from the office.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alone? Is that smart right now?”</p><p> </p><p>“I honestly don’t ca-”</p><p> </p><p>“Well I do. Ben mentioned you had a flash back?”</p><p> </p><p>Why the fuck would Ben mention that to his parents?</p><p> </p><p>“I did.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Went sighed, “You can’t show weakness. You know this! You’re a goddamn Tozier for crying out loud!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry that I went through a traumatic event.” Richie muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“We got you the best therapist money could buy. You should be past this!”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought I was.” Richie told him, “Trust me I’d rather not have had an episode when I was making out with my boyfriend! I’d rather have not had it at all, Went. The way that he looked at me...fucking hell, it was horrible.”</p><p> </p><p>“Am I supposed to feel bad for you?” Went asked, “Because I really don’t. You have to handle this. What if you do it in the field? How would that look?”</p><p> </p><p>He’d never make his family proud. Never be able to do anything but disappoint them.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, Dad.” Richie said softly, “I’m sorry. I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Make sure it doesn’t. How far away are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nine blocks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Call a cab and get here now. It isn’t safe for you to be alone-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m walking. I want the fresh air.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I told you that I want you to call a cab.” Went told him fiercely, “I-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie hung up the phone and slid it into his pocket. He was sick to death of hearing from his father about what he needed to do. How disappointed he was in Richie. He was sick of all of it.</p><p> </p><p>Even if Patrick snatched him up it’d give him a chance to kill the asshole. But he knew Patrick too well, the male wouldn’t fucking come for him tonight.</p><p> </p><p>He’d wait until Richie was more vulnerable than this.</p><p> </p><p>Calling Stan and listening to the phone ring.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Rich, where are you?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“On my way back. I’m like eight blocks out.” Richie told him, “I’ll be there soon. What movie are you guys watching?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We’re about to start Haunting of Hill House but we’ll wait for you to get here. We decided to watch a tv show instead.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I know but we want to. We’re worried about you Richie. Are you better now?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Not really...but I’m hoping I will be.” Richie said, “I didn’t mean to freak you guys out.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We just hate that you had a flashback. We’re worried that you had a flash back at all. Then again we’ve never seen you have one at all.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Usually I’m alone when it happens. Which was fortunate when that happened...but I’m guessing that it’s because I started this relationship with Eddie. And things are still fresh from my last encounter with Patrick. That’s what I’m guessing at least. I’ll have to contact my therapist about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Might be a good idea.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie stopped when he felt eyes on his back. He turned around quickly with a frown. He heard a bottle clinking before he started to walk a little faster towards the hotel. That was off putting more than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie, you hear me?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, sorry I zoned out for a second.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You okay?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I think so. I’m-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stopped when Patrick stopped in front of him. Taking a step back and seeing the smile cross the other male’s face. There was no way for this to end favorably.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie, jeez, will you stop zoning-”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I think Black Swan would be a good movie to watch tonight.” Richie said, interrupting Stan and ignoring his intake, “But hey, I’m like seven blocks out. I’ll be there soon, Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t end the call, instead just sliding the phone in his pocket. Black Swan was one of their codewords for an enemy operative.</p><p> </p><p>“Patrick.” Richie said smoothly, trying not to let panic overrun him.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie.” Patrick said in turn, “How’s Wheezy doing from his little fall?”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, thanks to my quick thinking.” Richie told him, seeing him frown, “Yeah I figured you were targeting him. What do you want?”</p><p> </p><p>“What I always want. You to myself.” Patrick told him, “Also your friends are cute for wanting to use Wheezy as bait.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie froze as he stared at Patrick who laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, Robert Gray created these cameras that are even tinier than our usual. Your team went right past them in their little room. They’ve been watching horror movies all night. Discussed their little plan too.” Patrick sighed, “It would’ve been a good plan if I gave a shit about Wheezy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t call Eddie that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I just remember the little fucker who was still attached to an inhaler.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved to go around Patrick who moved in the same direction.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going with you.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“I just want to talk.” Patrick informed him, “It’s no fun to kidnap you again if there’s no one here to try to save you. I’d much rather see the crestfallen looks on your teams faces when I take you again from them.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s there to talk about?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well first off, you may want to end your phone with the Jew.” Patrick said, seeing Richie’s shocked face, “I saw that the call wasn’t actually ended. So end it. Then we’ll talk in my office.”</p><p> </p><p>He gestured across the street as Richie looked at the alley across from them.</p><p> </p><p>“What reassurance do I have that you aren’t going to kidnap me? Out in the open-”</p><p> </p><p>“Because, it isn’t time for that just yet.” Patrick said, pulling his own phone out, “However, I’ll let you know that I do have a crosshair on your girl, Beverly. You don’t go with me on this friendly conversation then I’ll have him shoot her just for funsies. If they move from their spots for longer than two minutes then I’ll shoot her.”</p><p> </p><p>He showed the phone to Richie who saw plain as day that he wasn’t lying. The red dot on Beverly was undeniable.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re fucking certifiable.” Richie muttered, seeing anger flash on Patrick’s face.</p><p> </p><p>He pulled his phone out, hearing Stan yelling at him not to end the call. Ending it anyways and going to put his phone back in his pocket when his wrist was caught. It took everything in him not to punch the male. The phone being taken from him as well as his bag. They were put down on the ground; the phone being shoved into his bag. Patrick gestured for Richie to walk first.</p><p> </p><p>The younger male did just that as he moved to cross the street. Avoiding cars and hating the fact that Patrick was just behind him. When they got to the other side of the street he walked slowly into the alley first. He had to do this until the others took out the threat to Beverly. Once they did that he knew they would haul ass for him.</p><p> </p><p>Not having enough time to react when he was shoved into the wall. There were too many shadows in this alley. No one would see him from the street which would be an issue when his team came.</p><p> </p><p>His team would come.</p><p> </p><p>“You healed up so nicely.” Patrick said, pushing Richie’s sleeve up, “It’ll make opening you back up that much better.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie went to move but was stopped; he couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped him when his body was blocked in.</p><p> </p><p>“Who is with you?”</p><p> </p><p>“My whole team is plus Robert Gray.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie paled as he stared at Patrick who laughed right in his face. He felt something enclose on his wrist before looking down to see a cuff. Following the chain to see it connected to what looked like a water pole.</p><p> </p><p>“So you won’t run off.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought this was supposed to be a talk?”</p><p> </p><p>Cringing when he felt a hand on his side. Fuck taking deep breaths. This was panic at its finest as Richie tried to move again and was shoved back harder into the wall.</p><p> </p><p>“Now Chee-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t fucking call me that.” Richie almost snarled at him.</p><p> </p><p>Getting backhanded as his head snapped to the side. He looked up at Patrick who was frowning at him.</p><p> </p><p>“You should know better.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uncuff me Patrick.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not yet.” Patrick told him, “You’ve been teasing me for a week, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>Sniffing Richie’s neck as he turned his face away from him violently. Jerking on the cuff and wishing he had taken the damn cab.</p><p> </p><p>“You smell so good.” Patrick sighed, a hand traveling to his hip.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me go.” Richie said, “You said you wanted to talk so talk.”</p><p> </p><p>Trying to dislodge the hand on his hip as Patrick’s mind wandered. He wasn’t listening to Richie and that was an issue. Gasping out in pain when he felt a sharp sting on his arm. A glance told him he’d been cut; holding in a scream when the knife dug in deeper.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Richie, make a sound.”</p><p> </p><p>The knife digging into his hip causing another gasp of pain. Richie tried to jerk away from it; being stopped as Patrick’s other hand caught his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“Shh, you like this part.”</p><p> </p><p>“I really don’t.” Richie said, as Patrick frowned at him, “Let-”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I could just wait for Wheezy-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop! No!” Richie told him, seeing Patrick’s frown disappear into a terrifyingly neutral face, “You want me. I-”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I’m just not fun for you anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt his soul dying just enough as he said the next words.</p><p> </p><p>“I like what you do.” Richie told him, seeing Patrick’s head tilt, “It’s fun for me...I swear it’s fun for me. You really think Eddie will scream for you like me? Or beg like I do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh I do so love your begging.” Patrick said gleefully, “When you ask for me to stop even though you like it.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t like it. Nothing about what Patrick did to him either time he liked. But he couldn’t—he wouldn’t let this fucking psychopath touch Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“And you love tasting my blood.” Richie badgered him on, seeing all thoughts of his boyfriend leaving Patrick’s mind, “What did you want Patrick?”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick frowned, “Randall is making us leave New York on a mission. I won’t be able to see you for a while. I wanted to do something...so that you wouldn’t forget me.”</p><p> </p><p>As if Richie would ever forget this fucking bag of crazy.</p><p> </p><p>“And then I realized something. In all the times we’ve played together.” Patrick said fondly, “I’ve made you bleed from so many different places but I’ve never broken any bones. Fractures don’t count.”</p><p> </p><p>It was like Patrick had read Richie’s mind as the younger male jerked on the chain again.</p><p> </p><p>“How did you know that we were going to use this alley-”</p><p> </p><p>“I waited until you left that stupid office. I waited three hours for you to leave that stupid office. I got set up for this little date of ours.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie genuinely wondered how crazy someone had to be for them to be this fucking delusional.</p><p> </p><p>“W-What bone are you going to break?” Richie asked, seeing Patrick look at his phone with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“Well that’s sad...seems like your friends made Belch run off.” Patrick sighed, “That cuts our time a little bit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Patrick—what bone-”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up! You talk too fucking much.” Patrick snapped, as Richie flinched back into the wall.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling a hand caress his wrist where it was connected to the cuff. His body buzzed with fear as he looked into Patrick’s crazed eyes. The male smiled at him and went in for a kiss as Richie turned his face at the last second. Lips grazed his cheek before he felt pressure on his wrist.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, I was going to do this the easy way and just pop it off the bone.”</p><p> </p><p>That was easy? Richie stared at him in horror before Patrick sighed and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“But you’re annoying little club just had to fucking ruin my plan. It would have been more fun if we could have done it the easy way.” Patrick said, his hand ghosting over the button of Richie’s pants.</p><p> </p><p>Moving away from the male who shoved him into the wall forcefully.</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately, I’m going to have to do this the hard way. But just remember, you scream and I’ll make sure you regret it.”</p><p> </p><p>When he pulled a hammer out Richie started to truly struggle against the male. If he could fight him off long enough his team would get here.</p><p> </p><p>“You have no idea how much pleasure it gives me to see that you haven’t broken yet. It’ll make when you do that much more delicious.”</p><p> </p><p>Biting his lip hard enough to bleed when he felt the metal slam into his wrist with enough force it brought him down to a knee. Hearing Patrick laugh as he pulled the chain taut. Richie bringing his fist to his mouth to bite down on with the next swing.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie!”</p><p> </p><p>He looked up at hearing Ben’s voice. Opening his mouth as it was covered when he was jerked to his feet and shoved into the wall. Tears fell from his eyes without him being able to stop them. The claw of the hammer near his eye as he looked up.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee! Where are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie answer us honey!”</p><p> </p><p>Hearing Patrick shush in his ear quietly. The claw coming to rest on his cheekbone. The hand covering his mouth was starting to become an issue before it dropped to his throat. The pressure was tight and unforgiving as Richie felt the last breath he had leave him. His good hand going to Patrick’s and gripping it as he stared at the insane male in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>“Make one sound and I’ll make sure one of your little Losers Club fucking dies.”</p><p> </p><p>Feeling a nose against his cheek as more tears started to fall. Feeling panic clench in his stomach as he tried to ignore the need for air. Struggling against the male faintly as Patrick laughed softly in his ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys! I found his bag!”</p><p> </p><p>The hammer coming down again on his wrist as Richie’s mouth dropped open in a soundless scream when he felt something break. Gasping as the pain radiated up his arm; the need for oxygen almost overwhelming as he scratched at Patrick’s arm. The crazed gleam in the male’s eye at the struggling worried Richie more than his wrist.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, you’re going to wait until I’m gone to call for them, understood?” Patrick asked, “Otherwise I won’t hesitate to end one of their lives. I’ll see you soon, love.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded his head slowly through tears. Being let go as he fell to his knees. Gasping for breath as he watched Patrick run down the alley. He watched the male go up a fire escape and waited for him to be on the roof to turn towards his wrist that was hanging at an odd angle.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie! Please answer us!”</p><p> </p><p>The blood from where he’d been cut on his hip were soaking his jeans. The cut on his arm doing the same to his shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“Richard!”</p><p> </p><p>Hearing his father’s voice made him freeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee! Answer me!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here!” Richie said, his voice raw and quiet, “Here!”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up Mike! I hear something.” he heard Eddie’s voice, “Chee!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here!” he said louder, moving his hurt wrist and screaming out when pain licked up his arm.</p><p> </p><p>Folding in on himself with his arm lifted up to where the chain was. Feeling hands on him and flinching away. Pulling on the chain and crying out. Pushing the person away and seeing Stan hit the ground as he stared at him with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop.” Maggie snapped at the team, “Richie, sweetheart, you’re fine.”</p><p> </p><p>This was shaping up to be the worst day he’d had in a while. Staring at his mother who came up to him slowly. She took the wrist in the cuff gently and looked at it.</p><p> </p><p>“Beverly, do you still have your lock pick kit on you?”</p><p> </p><p>“No...I didn’t think about grabbing-”</p><p> </p><p>“I do.” Eddie said, pushing past Maggie, “I got it. Hey Chee, how are you feeling?”</p><p> </p><p>“Like shit Eds.” Richie said hoarsely, “He broke my wrist.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Eddie asked calmly, as he started to pick the lock.</p><p> </p><p>“Said he wanted me to not forget him and we’d never broken a bone before...that we’d fractured them before.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at him in horror for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“He wouldn’t—he choked me a little.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“I figured.” Eddie told him gently, “You have...fingerprints on your neck Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wonderful.”</p><p> </p><p>Avoiding his parents eyes as he looked directly at Eddie who carefully took his arm from below the wrist. Letting the cuff drop as he moved to his knees in front of his boyfriend. Making sure not to touch him outside of the spot on his arm.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s your pain level?”</p><p> </p><p>“Four.” Richie whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t whisper, it’s worse for your throat if you’ve been choked.” Eddie told him, “Will you be able to make it to the office’s infirmary to get your wrist fixed?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shook his head as Eddie nodded his head slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, if we drove would you be able to?” Eddie asked, seeing a nod, “Great. Went and Maggie, take the team back to the hotel. I’ll get Richie patched up and we’ll be there within the hour. If one of you could call Jackie and let her know that’d also be wonderful.”</p><p> </p><p>“Told you...you should’ve been a doctor.” Richie told him, “Keeping calm under pressure.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was not calm trying to find you.” Eddie informed him, as the others dispersed, “We’ll get him-”</p><p> </p><p>“Randall sent for him and his team to do a mission. They’re leaving New York for the moment.” Richie said, his throat sore, “I’m sorry-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t.” Eddie said fiercely, “Don’t apologize for what happened. Don’t apologize for getting hurt. You had a flash back and it was overwhelming so you went and did something that felt like you could control it. I understand why you did it I was just worried. Going forward, I’ll talk you through the flash back and help with the after care.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds-”</p><p> </p><p>“I spoke with Skars. He let me know all I needed to know about flash backs and how to care for you after. I won’t let another accident like today happen. I can’t let it happen.” Eddie said, “When you coded Black Swan we all freaked out. I wasn’t—we’ll make sure Patrick gets caught.”</p><p> </p><p>“He knew about our plan.” Richie said softly, “He isn’t interested in grabbing you, just me.”</p><p> </p><p>“He touches you again, I’m killing him then and there.” Eddie sneered, “I don’t care who is in the crosshairs.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, if it’s one of the Losers-”</p><p> </p><p>“They are not more important than you! You’re more important to me than anyone.” Eddie said, tears falling, “I don’t care how selfish it is. If it’s you versus one of them, I’m sorry...I’m choosing you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Even if my wish was for you to save them?” Richie asked, seeing the heartbroken look hit Eddie’s face immediately, “I’m going to say something and I need you to let me finish and not argue after okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“I can promise to let you finish...you know I love to argue with you.” Eddie said slowly, causing both of them to laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“If it comes down to saving me or one of the others...save them.” Richie told him, “If it’s Stan, Mike or Bill that effects two others...Beverly and Ben...they took so long realizing how they felt for each other. It’d be cruel to tear one of them away. They can all help you move on if something were to happen. And Eds, you can and will do a lot better than me when you realize that this relationship may not work. At least as long as Patrick’s alive.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then after this mission is over we’ll track him down and kill him.” Eddie said seriously, wiping his tears away furiously, “We hit that fucking team before they have a chance to come at you again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Danny won’t-”</p><p> </p><p>“Danny will go for it or we’ll all go rogue.” Eddie snapped, “I’m not scared of running our own company away from MATURIN and FLAGG. Trust me, I’ve already spoken to some of the other teams about defecting.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him in shock, “How would we get funding-”</p><p> </p><p>“Been talking to some sponsors as well who would fund us.” Eddie said, “Danny forgets something very important. Our sponsors are there for us, not him. We’re what brings the money in. He wants to fight us finding Patrick goddamn Hockstetter and gutting him like he deserves then I give Stan the word.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought there were no more secrets between us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not much of secret when it was decided tonight after we got off the phone with Chris, Roland and Jonesy. Mike is also in with his team.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes but who would run the building? Who would meet with people to gather missions?”</p><p> </p><p>“Adrian and Don, who are both very much frustrated by the fact that they haven’t been approved to be handlers even though they’ve passed their classes four times over. They’re still deemed too young even though they’ve trained for it for seven years.” Eddie answered, “It was my idea in the first place because—after your flashback we all wanted to do something to help. If that’s the first mission we have in our new company, so be it.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just stared at Eddie who was so passionate about splitting from MATURIN that it scared Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“But we’d still need gadgets and poisons...anti-poisons and—who—”</p><p> </p><p>“Carrie would be coming with us. Chris already spoke with her as well as Holly, Alec and Ralph. Trust me, we have a lot of people willing to split.” Eddie said, “It was a very interesting couple of hours. We played movies because we knew that Patrick had a camera in the room. It was very small but still very noticeable. We discussed it quietly through texts and then I took a group call with Chris, Roland, Jonesy and Mike. Adrian and Don were also on the call. They’ve been texting who would be interested for the last hour.” Eddie said, “But it will go nowhere if you don’t want it to.”</p><p> </p><p>“Adrian and Don would be much better than Danny. Who would handle us?”</p><p> </p><p>“Both of them. They’d run the company and handle all of us.” Eddie said, “We’d only recruit who we’d want. Georgie would be the first recruit.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him then the ground. Thinking about it as they stood in the alley.</p><p> </p><p>“If we stay at MATURIN...you’ll always be in Went and Maggie’s shadow. Nothing will ever be good enough for them. We split from them then you make a name for yourself as Richie Tozier, best operative in America not Richie Tozier, son of Wentworth and Maggie Tozier who were two of the best operatives that MATURIN has ever seen.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’d essentially be screwing MATURIN.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what? How many times have they fucked us over? They were going to let Roland die because of how they view captures. If they had viewed it differently then Patrick would have never laid his hands on you a second time.” Eddie said passionately, “Chee, think about it. We could literally station ourselves anywhere you’d want. I will go anywhere you want to go. If you want to stay in New York, we’ll stay here or if you want to stay in Los Angeles we will!”</p><p> </p><p>“Even if I wanted to go to Chicago or New Orleans?”</p><p> </p><p>“Even then. We will follow you. The others don’t care about the location. They care about working for a company that will care about them. Plus we’ll get all the intel together before going on a mission.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie licked his lips, “Can I think about it?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded his head, “Of course. Also in terms of choosing between you or them, if I can’t save both I’ll still save you. I’m selfish, Richie. And I’m selfish enough to know that I can’t live without you. I love you too damn much to do that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too. Let’s go get my wrist bandaged up. Send Beverly to fucking kill Gage and lets go home.”</p><p> </p><p>“Music to my ears.” Eddie sighed, pulling his phone out and texting the red head before leading Richie to the car.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at Eddie’s face as he got in the driver’s seat and wondered.</p><p> </p><p>Wondered if they’d all be better off defecting to their own company instead of staying at MATURIN.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie is determined to give Eddie an answer to his question. He's also determined to not feel like he's constantly going to panic about Patrick.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a clean break at least. That was the only upside Richie could find as he walked into his kitchen. They’d come back from their mission and were told to take a few days off. Three days specifically so that Richie could deal with New York. He’d already dealt with it if he was honest. Not wanting to handle the outside world he locked himself in his apartment.</p><p> </p><p>It seemed they all wanted to give Richie space. Knowing that he knew what they wanted to do if Danny rejected them.</p><p> </p><p>Danny hadn’t even attempted to return any of his phone calls.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling his phone out as he made a glass of soda.</p><p> </p><p>He tapped call on Danny’s contact and listened to it ring.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What can I do for you, Richie?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Well answering the phone is one thing that I’m glad you did.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’ve been busy giving missions out to the others. Not all of my teams needed a few days off.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie almost dropped his drink but stopped himself with a sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“Well the reason I needed a few days off was-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I know why. What I don’t know is why you’re calling?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I wanted your permission for my team to track down Patrick. I just need a week without a mission and we can-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>No.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie sat down heavily on the chair in front of the kitchen table. Staring at the wood in front of him as he thought of his next words.</p><p> </p><p>“Why not? Why can’t we track him down and kill him? He’s just going to keep coming for me, Danny. Shouldn’t we go on the offensive?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Because I said you aren’t allowed to. You need to work past your issues and the next time he pops out of the woodwork do your damn job.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry...what? He had a gun on Bev-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Then she would’ve been shot-”</em></p><p> </p><p>“In the head! You know what you can’t come back from? Death.” Richie exclaimed, “Are you fucking kidding me, Danny? You told us before that you couldn’t lose any of our team?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yes well, if it comes down to it I need to protect you and Eddie.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie didn’t think he could feel worse and he was wrong. That one statement thrashed him in a way he hadn’t thought possible from his boss.</p><p> </p><p>“Why? Because we’re the faces of your fucking company now?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You’re the faces of my company in a way your parents never were, Richie. I can rely on you to do the harder missions because I know you’ll bend but not break. You’ve gotten stronger since those incidents with Patrick. Now, if you’re quite done I need you to be here in an hour. I have a mission for your team. Dress appropriately, all teams are back from missions currently. While your wrist is broken the rest of you isn’t.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie felt numb all over when he answered, “Yes sir. I’ll inform my team.”</p><p> </p><p>Hanging up with him and texting his team as he went into his bedroom. His drink left forgotten as he looked at his closet. His phone vibrating in his hand as he looked at the call from Stan. He knew Eddie was giving him his space. Things had been so raw between the two of them lately that it threw him for a loop.</p><p> </p><p>“Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hey! Do you know what the mission is?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“No clue, I’ll see you there though.” Richie said, hanging up and tossing his phone on the bed.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling out the furthest leather jacket with a smile. It was the first leather jacket he’d ever owned. Given to him on his sixteenth birthday by Eddie who had saved up over three months of working a part time job and an allowance from his mother to buy Richie an amazing birthday present.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t worn it in years. The red leather was still soft to the touch. The shoulders being fastened easily as he moved the belt to one side. The zipper on the left breast was slightly open. He remembered wearing this jacket when he felt he needed some sort of armor on.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling it out and laying it on the bed with a smile. He knew it still fit; the last time he’d worn it had been two years ago. Pulling out a pair of black jeans with two straps that were fastened on either sides of his hips. The straps hung a little low but he liked that about them and a black shirt with mesh on the upper half of the body. He didn’t want to hear from Maggie or Went how rough he looked.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling on the jacket and looking at himself in the mirror. Without his glasses he looked more like a Tozier, is what Went used to say. He was fine with not wearing his glasses. More often than not they got in the way during missions. They were a pain in the ass on the best occasion. He only wore them now when he was off missions. Putting his contacts in and rolling his eye a little bit. He would never get used to putting them in though, he’d admit that freely.</p><p> </p><p>Zipping the jacket and pulling the belt tight. Looping it as he took himself in. He knew Maggie would make a comment about his weight now that he hadn’t just dealt with Patrick. His mother usually attacked his weight. His father attacked everything else.</p><p> </p><p>Team from hell.</p><p> </p><p>Looking at his phone when Eddie’s face lit the screen up. Tapping accept as he put it to his ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hey, you hung up on Stan and he was worried. What’s going on?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Nothing.” Richie said, “Just had to get ready.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You don’t sound like nothing is wrong.” Eddie said carefully, “Talk to me, Chee.”</em></p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t fair that Eddie could just...call him that and he’d do anything for the man. Closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip hard. He’d talk to Eddie after they got their mission about the phone call with Danny. Shoving his feet into a pair of England style punk boots. The buckle being fastened over his foot before he fastened the one at the top of the boot. Looking at himself in the mirror again with a nod. It really did feel like he was wearing armor today. Like he needed it.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just exhausted and I don’t really want to go on a mission.” Richie told him, “I want to sleep a few more days.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Did you tell Danny that?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“It wouldn’t matter.” Richie said, grabbing his motorcycle helmet, “Do you want me to pick you up?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie said nothing for a moment; Richie just listening to him breathing as he snatched his keys up and left his apartment. Locking up behind him as he made his way downstairs.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yeah, can I come to yours after? My apartment feels a little too quiet for my liking right now.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Of course, Eds. I’ll be there in ten.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Are you not taking your car?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“No, I wanted to ride my bike.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Your wrist is broken, Chee.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“And? I drove it just fine yesterday.” Richie said, “Trust me when I tell you I can still do the same things with my hands that I could before. It’s just I can’t bend it as well. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I just don’t want you pushing yourself if it’s going to hurt you. I know—I know your parents—well I know that you don’t want to show weakness.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“And I’m not going to. Not now. I’ll be there soon.” Richie said, getting to his bike and straddling it, “Unless you don’t want me to pick you up now?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I already have my helmet and I’m waiting, Chee.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“See you soon.”</p><p> </p><p>They hung up as Richie put his helmet on. Pulling the brace down so he could get a better grip before turning it on. He spun into traffic towards Eddie’s apartment. His parents hated his motorcycle more than his car. They said it made him look like a hooligan. That he looked less like a Tozier with his leather jackets and bike.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe that’s why he’d chosen this outfit? As a giant fuck you to them and their expectations?</p><p> </p><p>He honestly didn’t know if he was honest. It had just felt right to wear clothes that the Losers had gotten him. The boots had come from Stan three years ago for Christmas because he’d noticed Richie looking at them. And while they were all paid very well for their job, Richie would never buy anything that went against his family image. His friends on the other hand didn’t give a shit.</p><p> </p><p>The pants had been a gift from Bill and Mike for his birthday last year. They said it matched what his ideal aesthetic would be given his fascination with the type of pants when they were in high school. Pants his parents never allowed him to wear while under their roof.</p><p> </p><p>The shirt had come from Beverly and Ben. The idea had been Ben and Beverly had hand made the shirt. He felt more safe in these clothes than he did in any building.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing Eddie wearing a dark blue leather peacoat made Richie smile in his helmet. He’d given the male that jacket four years ago before the first incident with Patrick. It looked damn good on Eddie in Richie’s opinion as he pulled up and lifted the face shield to look at him properly. Eddie was just staring at him in a small amount of shock.</p><p> </p><p>“Jesus Christ, Chee. Are we going clubbing afterwards?” Eddie asked, staring at him openly.</p><p> </p><p>“We could.” Richie said, “You getting on? We do have somewhere to be, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“Warn a guy next time.” Eddie said, “You look like your clothes were painted on.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think that was the point of the pants and shirt at least.” Richie teased, as Eddie put his helmet on.</p><p> </p><p>Richie putting the face shield down when he felt Eddie’s arms go around him securely. His chin leaning on Richie’s shoulder as he looked back and then merged into traffic. As much as Eddie hated the motorcycle, Richie knew that he didn’t mind it so much when it was him driving it. If it had been Stan or Bill he’d throw a fit and refuse. He knew that Richie wouldn’t do anything to hurt him though.</p><p> </p><p>Weaving through cars as he made his way to their destination. He saw a familiar looking car; immediately taking note of the license plate with a grin. It made sense for Stan to drive from this direction if he was picking up any of the others. Driving faster so he could catch up to them.</p><p> </p><p>“Hold on tighter, Eds.” Richie said, feeling a little bit daring and a little one the other side of risky.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling the younger male’s hold on him tighten significantly before he caught up with them. He was in view of Bill and Stan, the former driving the car. The pair not looking at them causing Richie to frown.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly looked over at them with wide eyes as he heard Eddie giggle loudly in his ear. Ben’s gaze following hers as they watched his mouth open. He had said something to gain the others attention as they all looked over.</p><p> </p><p>Richie speeding up and cutting them off; hearing them break as he revved his bike and popped a wheelie with him and Eddie on it. Lowering the bike and speeding past another car. It felt childish and more fun than Richie had had in a while, minus kissing Eddie. Knowing that his boyfriend was enjoying it as well made it that much better. Typically the younger male would’ve freaked out but it seemed he needed something fun as well.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling up to MATURIN and turning the bike off. Feeling Eddie’s laughter at his back as he put the kick stand down. Leaning his bike on it as Eddie got off the bike. Stan’s car pulling up right next to them. The Losers getting out of the car as Stan marched right over to them as if he was going to berate them for the dangerous act. Richie climbing off and pulling his helmet off at the same time as Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“You are a menace to society, Richie Tozier.” Beverly said, crossing her arms over her chest, “Popping a wheelie with Eddie on it. Are you fucking crazy? You have a broken wrist!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie raised a brow at her, “And that’s stopped me from doing what exactly? We still beat your asses here.”</p><p> </p><p>“But it was dangerous.” Ben said.</p><p> </p><p>“So is our job and we’re still here.” Eddie said, taking Richie’s good hand, “If I’m not freaking out you guys shouldn’t be.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan was frowning at them as Eddie pulled Richie towards the building. The others following suit as Richie walked in step with his boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie getting them in the building as they walked past security who nodded politely at them. When they got in the elevator is when Stan finally said something.</p><p> </p><p>“Rich, you look like you’re ready for war.” Stan said, “I’m pretty sure you’re wearing an article of clothing that we’ve all given you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’d be right in one, Stan the Man.” Richie said, seeing the shock on Stan’s face, “Let’s have some fun today.”</p><p> </p><p>He looked pointedly at the camera as Stan and Ben pulled their phones out. Richie knew they were hacking the camera system so they could have a moment to themselves. His nod to Richie meant they could talk freely while they went up to the conference room.</p><p> </p><p>“W-What? Fun?” Bill asked, “Who are y-y-you and what have you d-d-done with R-Richie Tozier?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ever thought of the fact that I just don’t give a shit anymore.” Richie laughed, “I’m starting to accept the fact that I’ve never had a choice in any decision in my life.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Mike asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Because every aspect of our lives is controlled.” Richie said, “Because we work here and it doesn’t matter what we want.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m guessing your conversation with Danny went about as expected.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>“He said that if it came down to it one of the Losers could die but you and I couldn’t, Eds. Because we’re the faces of this company more than my parents ever were. His words, not mine.”</p><p> </p><p>He watched his boyfriend’s face contort in fury before he hid it behind a mask. Time and place for those kinds of things.</p><p> </p><p>“I see.” Beverly said, “So?”</p><p> </p><p>He watched Stan’s face as the male kept the cameras off them.</p><p> </p><p>“Let everyone know we’re leaving Los Angeles in one week. The destination will be decided by everyone coming.” Richie said, “So let them know to meet up at our usual club tonight at six.”</p><p> </p><p>He watched the others pull their phones out to text the others. Eddie stared at him and took his other hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p>“As deodorant.” Richie said, seeing Eddie’s nose turn up.</p><p> </p><p>“I actually missed your shitty jokes. Good one, Universe.” Eddie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>Richie kissed the top of his head before nodding at Stan to let the camera back up. The elevator dinging as they moved out of it. Chris Chambers leaning against the wall next to the conference room.</p><p> </p><p>“Got a minute for me, Tozier?”</p><p> </p><p>“Quick one, Danny wants to give us a mission.” Richie said, seeing Chris frown, “I’ll be in there in a minute.”</p><p> </p><p>Kissing Eddie quickly as the male passed him. The frown leaving Chris’ face as he smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“About fucking time that happened.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can say that again. What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“Gordie got hurt on the last mission.” Chris said, “FLAGG operatives ambushed us. We barely got away with our lives.”</p><p> </p><p>“How hurt is Gordie?” Richie asked, genuine concern in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>The Losers had trained closely with SBM. Ka-Tet and Dreamcatcher had been paired together but they’d all still been trained together. That being said, Richie did actually care about what happened to the four males.</p><p> </p><p>“He got shot in the shoulder.” Chris told him, his voice wavering, “Danny won’t let us go after them.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved his eyes to either side; Chris getting the message that this wasn’t the time or place to talk about such things.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Chambers. Take it from me, Danny usually has a good reason for not letting us do things.” Richie said, “We just have to trust that he’ll let us do them when the time is right. You’ll get revenge for Gordie getting hurt, trust me. Danny has our backs when it comes to us getting just that.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know who was watching and he didn’t want to know. All he knew was that they couldn’t talk about certain things while in the building. The only reason they could get away with the elevator camera being hacked was because that camera was usually faulty anyways.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope so. But I’m going to go visit him. I’ll see you later.” Chris said.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell Gordie I hope he gets better.” Richie said, as Chris nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Heading in and stopping when he saw both his parents sitting at the other end of the table from the Losers who all looked like they wanted to say six different things. Going and leaning against the window. He didn’t want to be anywhere near that table when Maggie and Went said something that would cause his team to lose their cool.</p><p> </p><p>Danny sat at the head of the table; his hands folded over the file in front of him calmly. Andy sitting on his left while Went was at his right.</p><p> </p><p>“So glad you could join us, Tozier.” Andy said, looking him up and down.</p><p> </p><p>“I wish I could say the same. Unfortunately, I’d much rather be in bed with Eddie.” Richie said, flashing a vicious grin at seeing his parents stare at him in horror.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie laughed at the end of the table with the other Losers.</p><p> </p><p>“But what can I say? People won’t kill themselves in this line of business.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s incredibly dark.” Danny said.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m feeling incredibly dark. What’s the mission before I get bored.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny slid the file down to Stan who took it easily and opened it.</p><p> </p><p>“Randall Flagg just bought a new business.” Danny said, “I want you to infiltrate and get a list of their known operatives that he’s keeping in a safe in the manager’s office.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the business?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“A strip club.” Stan laughed, “So who feels more comfortable working a pole between you and Eddie?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll do it.” Richie said breezily, “So we’re just stealing a list? Why us and not someone like The Party? This is an easy as hell mission. I won’t even need to be on a pole. I just have to slip in as a customer and ‘get lost’ on the way to the office. Pick the lock, grab the list and ditch.”</p><p> </p><p>“The key to the office is on the manager at all times. It’s a HYT chain key lock. You can’t pick that.” Went said, seeing Richie frown, “Trust me we had that idea as well.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw. What’s the safe lock?”</p><p> </p><p>“Standard key lock.” Maggie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“So we lift the key from the manager.” Richie said, “Whelp, Eds, want to play stripper with me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m always down to strip with you, Chee.” Eddie said, grinning at him.</p><p> </p><p>The older male grinned back at him, seeing the looks of disappointment on Went and Maggie’s faces.</p><p> </p><p>“So, want to explain to me what’s going on here?” Danny asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie and I are dating, it’s new. Started in New York.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you didn’t think to ask for permission?” Danny questioned.</p><p> </p><p>“Who I date isn’t your business.” Richie said sharply, “We don’t need your permission to date when literally everyone dates inside their team.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes well, you and Eddie are a little different.” Went said, “You’re-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t fucking start with me.” Richie snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m with Richie on this. Tell me how to live my life and I will get fucking testy.” Eddie said, pissed.</p><p> </p><p>“And we’ll join them in that hissy fit, real quick.” Beverly said, as the other Losers faces went still.</p><p> </p><p>“I just mean a little forewarning would have been nice.” Danny said, putting his hands up, “My two faces of the company dating is big news. We can work-”</p><p> </p><p>“My love life is not for show and tell.” Eddie told him, “It’s private and will continue to be that way. If that’s all you need, we’ll create a strategy at Richie’s later. We’ll leave on Friday.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s three days from now.” Maggie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes and some of us need some more down time. Losers, let’s go.” Eddie said, standing up abruptly as they all started to file out.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, a word.” Went said.</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at his parents and Danny. Andy leaving the room with the Losers as he looked to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, if Eddie can stay. As co-leader he deserves to be included in these conversations.” Richie said, seeing Danny nod, “Guys, we’ll meet you there.”</p><p> </p><p>When the door shut Richie went to Eddie and pulled him against his front. Seeing the anger on his parents faces made it worth it as he leaned his chin on Eddie’s shoulder. The younger male moving back into him bodily.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that necessary?”</p><p> </p><p>“Immensely.” Eddie answered Maggie with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“What is with your attitudes?” Danny asked.</p><p> </p><p>“What attitude? I’m just acting the part of leader. You all three told me not to let the Patrick stuff be seen by the people in this building. I’m just doing what I’ve been told.” Richie said bitterly, “It’s all I ever do is follow orders.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s nose nuzzled the underside of his chin.</p><p> </p><p>“Not well enough. Drop the attitude, especially in front of your team. You both know better than that. We’ve trained you better than that.” Went snapped at them.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you thought that maybe we’re sick of keeping our emotions in check. We just had a hell of a time in New York. And honestly, Richie should have had more time off after the second incident with Patrick. And yet, he didn’t get it because of what? A point you wanted to prove that was as pointless as your fucking toupee?” Eddie asked, seeing Went’s eyes narrow into slits, “And now we get to go on another mission and you would’ve had us leave tomorrow if I hadn’t changed your little timeline.”</p><p> </p><p>“How dare you. We tapped you because we thought you’d keep Richie in line.” Maggie told Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Jokes on you, I would’ve rejected the tap if Eddie wasn’t part of the package.” Richie snapped at his parents, seeing them both look at him in shock, “As long as my team and Eddie are with me, I’ll play happy soldier for you, Mags. Something happens to them or him, you’ll have to put me down because I’ll go after whoever is responsible and won’t stop until they’re all dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t be serious.” Went said.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, but I am. They’re my family, not you two. I’d do a lot for the people I actually give a fuck about. Now what do you want, Danny?”</p><p> </p><p>Danny had watched the entire exchange with a smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“I like the idea of you two as a couple. You seem to have gotten Richie’s head screwed on tight, Eddie.” Danny said to the younger male who tensed, “That being said, we need to keep your relationship a secret to enemy operatives. However, I’ll inform the sponsors because I think that could get us more money for the company-”</p><p> </p><p>“What part of our lives are secret don’t you get?” Eddie asked coldly, “I’m not parading my relationship around just so MATURIN can get a few more dollars. I’m doing this with Richie because we both make each other insanely happy. I’d do anything for him. I’d die for him.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie kissed his cheek gently; laughing softly as Eddie almost purred at him.</p><p> </p><p>“And the feeling is mutual Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie said, seeing Eddie’s eyes soften drastically at the old nickname, “I’d also kill for you but I’ve already made that wildly apparent. If that’s all Danny, I’d like to go out with my boyfriend.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes well, you both are certainly dressed a certain way.” Danny said.</p><p> </p><p>“Like little goth teenagers.” Maggie spit hatefully.</p><p> </p><p>“Aw Mags, thanks for calling me little.” Richie said spitefully, “We’ll see you guys when we’re back from the mission.”</p><p> </p><p>Pulling Eddie from the room; the smaller male coming with him easily. He could see the hatred filling Eddie’s eyes and kissed the spot in between his eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t let them get to you, Eds.” Richie told him softly, “We’re going to go have some fun and then we’ll figure out the mission.”</p><p> </p><p>“If your parents mysteriously just...got super hurt in a car accident would you be upset?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not cutting their break line.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just once?” Eddie asked, as Richie laughed and pulled him into the elevator, “Just a tiny snip. They’d never even notice.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’d drive them crazier if you wouldn’t respond to their antics.”</p><p> </p><p>“But that doesn’t make me feel better.” Eddie said, sliding his hands in Richie’s back pockets, “And really, isn’t that important too?”</p><p> </p><p>“It is very important to me. However, I don’t think Danny would take too kindly to it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can we agree to shelf the idea to a later date?” Eddie asked, pouting up at Richie who laughed at him, “Look this is as good of a compromise as you’re going to get, Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I just haven’t seen you pout since we were twelve and I shoved you into the quarry.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“I was upset with you Richie Tozier! You didn’t even let me know you were going to do it until you did! I was pushed off a cliff! I could’ve died and you were all looking at me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s own hands slid into Eddie’s pockets as the smaller male gasped softly.</p><p> </p><p>“You should’ve known then like you do now. I’m never going to let you die if I have a say in it.” Richie said softly, his nose bumping against Eddie’s, “Now are you ready to go have fun or are you going to contemplate maiming my parents more?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not both?”</p><p> </p><p>“What has gotten into you?” Richie asked, genuinely wondering.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you Richie.” Eddie said seriously, “And I’m not scared of being in love with you. And I don’t want you to ever regret our relationship. I also don’t want you to ever panic and have a flash back with me again. If that means taking things slow but also making your parents a living hell to make you feel better. I am <em>so</em> down and I know Bev and Stan are too.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about Mike, Bill and Ben?”</p><p> </p><p>“They said something about being emotional support for you while we did our chaotic good stuff.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed into the kiss he gave Eddie. The love he had for the smaller male felt like it would burst out of him sometimes. Letting his boyfriend lead him out of the elevator and to his bike. They had to meet up with the others after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A location is chosen and choices are made.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Rock was the usual hang out for all the teams in MATURIN. Their spot to all be around each other and party. Richie held Eddie’s hand tightly as they went upstairs. Ignoring the throng of people downstairs dancing and focusing on the task at hand. MATURIN frowned heavily on their operatives ‘partying’ so they typically thought they were at a different bar or club. The Rock was owned by a former operative who had quit a few years back and had invested his money into the club.</p><p> </p><p>That person was Lloyd and he hated Danny and the rest of the higher ups in MATURIN. He, however, adored The Losers which meant he swept the place daily for any cameras or bugs. Richie had the comfort of knowing they would never be overheard here.</p><p> </p><p>“Well look who it is. I heard you got shot in the shoulder.” Richie said, seeing Gordie who flipped him off, “Ouch, Lachance.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re the fucking worst, Tozier.” Gordie said, “They wanted to keep me overnight, can you believe that crock of shit?”</p><p> </p><p>“Best way to control their best operatives is to make them believe they care.” Eddie told him, scoping out everyone that was there, “Where’s the rest of the teams?”</p><p> </p><p>“Roland and Jonesy are going to relay everything to their teams. Carrie to her people and The Party is downstairs getting shots for all of us.”</p><p> </p><p>And like Chris had summoned them The Party came upstairs with two trays full of shots.</p><p> </p><p>“Why is it that my cousin is the only one that understands what’s at stake?” Richie asked Eddie quietly who laughed, “So Roland, Jonesy and Carrie you realize you’re voting for all your people. Either that or you can text them, I honestly don’t give a fuck. Where do you all think our headquarters should be?”</p><p> </p><p>“Somewhere MATURIN isn’t.” Roland said easily, “So that means New York, Los Angeles and Seattle are out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Also means Austin is out. They were forming a new office there.” Stan said, shrugging.</p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking Chicago, New Orleans or Atlanta.” Richie said, seeing interest peak in everyone’s eyes, “Now there is also Boston.”</p><p> </p><p>“I say nix Chicago.” Carrie said, “I’m more okay with Boston if it’s going to be up north. But I think New Orleans could be really awesome.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah I agree with Carrie.” Roland said, “New Orleans or Atlanta for me and my team.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to the Losers and The Party.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to say, from a strategic point of view that New Orleans and Atlanta may be mistakes.” Stan said, “New Orleans is vulnerable to hurricanes. And Atlanta is one of the first cities MATURIN will look at when we split off from them. Boston won’t register because Richie has said on more than one occasion that he hates Massachusetts. So my vote would be for Boston just purely based on MATURIN leaving us the hell alone. Plus it’s close enough to New York that we could do day trips if we wanted to.”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone seemed to think about that for a moment before Will’s hand went up.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes Will?” Richie smiled at the red head.</p><p> </p><p>“While I think that Stan is correct in that we should set up somewhere we’ve all stated to hate, I don’t think that Boston would be a good location. I think Philadelphia would be best in all honesty. A lot of the sponsors are based in Philadelphia so we would be closer to them. Plus they’d keep our whereabouts protected because it’s in their interest. There’s also the fact that Lloyd has a brother out in Philadelphia that owns a club so we’d have the same set up as we do here. Plus we’ve all stated how much Pennsylvania sucks.” Will said, seeing Richie look at him thoughtfully, “And Carrie and her team would be closer to New York so they could go get samples for tech.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s actually very true.” Richie said, “Plus it’s close enough to everything else we’d be interested in that we could do day trips on our off time.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t hate the idea of it.” Roland said, “Neither does my team.”</p><p> </p><p>“Same over here.” Jonesy said, “Although I’m not a fan of the cold, it’d be worth it to not have MATURIN breathing down our necks. And if Lloyd has family there we could always see if his brother could look out for us the same as him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Carrie, what do you think?” Eddie asked, “Losers? Party?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think my team is down for the idea.” Mike said.</p><p> </p><p>“I believe that Will’s idea is a good one. I do like the idea of being close to New York and Baltimore for new technology that we can use for better gadgets.” Carrie said slowly, “Especially if we’re going to be taking our gadgets we’ve developed with us.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re with you guys no matter w-w-what.” Bill answered for their team.</p><p> </p><p>“Philadelphia it is. We have a mission to get a list of FLAGG operatives.” Richie said calmly, seeing their shock, “We’ll be informing Danny that there was no such list in the safe. We’ll be keeping it for ourselves. Stan, can you pair with Gordie and Beaver to find a location in Philadelphia. We need it armed to the teeth before we leave to go there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Already looking at that now.” Stan said, “I’ll get in touch with the right people. Discretion is absolutely guaranteed with them. Also I have some apartments that are listed for rent. We can use fake names to ensure that MATURIN doesn’t find us. Gordie, can you make us new identities?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” Gordie said, “Jonesy, can you get Beaver to look into security for the apartments we look at. Make sure to get it installed in a week?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, he’ll be able to do that easy. So we want to leave in a week? That isn’t a lot of time to get things done.” Jonesy said slowly, “Let’s make it two weeks. That gives us enough time to get the headquarters secured to the nines as well as our apartments. We’ll need quite a few after all.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well Ben and Bev will have their own apartment. Stan, Bill and Mike will have their own as well.” Richie said, looking to Eddie with a thoughtful look, “So our team will need four.”</p><p> </p><p>“You and Eddie aren’t going to move in together?” Chris asked, “I figured-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s only been a few days. Yes we’ve known each other since childhood but we’re taking it slow.” Eddie told him, “So four apartments for us, close if you can manage it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got three apartments within two blocks of each other, two in the same building.” Gordie said, “We can all go look at them. We’ve been to your apartments before, Losers, so we know what to look for.”</p><p> </p><p>“Much appreciated. Carrie are you okay with all of this?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, please get me out of the hell that is MATURIN. They don’t let us breathe creatively when making things.”</p><p> </p><p>“How many apartments will your team need?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just one, four bedroom if we can manage it.” Carrie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Might be tricky but we can see what we can do.” Gordie told her, “But we’ll look into this and keep you guys in the loop. Two weeks?”</p><p> </p><p>“Two weeks. And that means in two weeks we destroy our old phones with the MATURIN trackers in them. We’ll get new phones and only give out our numbers to people we wish to have them.” Richie said, “We truly ghost them and let them know of our presence when we’re rooted. Sponsors are on board?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Ben smiled, “They’re excited about exiting MATURIN as well and working with the talent.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll need three apartments as well.” Mike put in, “Will and I will be sharing with Max and El. Lucas and Dustin will be sharing with Robin and Steve. Nancy and Jonathan want their own place as well.”</p><p> </p><p>“No problem.” Gordie told him, scanning his phone.</p><p> </p><p>“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Richie said, “That’s enough work talk for tonight. We’ll figure out our name later. Have fun tonight you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>He expected Roland and Jonesy to leave. While they didn’t mind partying, they also had a lot to tell their teams. Will grabbing shots and passing them down. Richie felt a pull from behind as the straps on his pants were grabbed. Eddie smiled up at him causing Richie to tilt his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you just grab me by my pants?”</p><p> </p><p>“I did, what are you going to do about it?” Eddie asked, biting his bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p>“I have no idea yet.” Richie said, kissing him tenderly.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie moved into the kiss bodily; coming up against Richie’s front. His hands sliding back into Richie’s back pockets. Tilting his head as his tongue ghosted across Richie’s lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Save that shit for the bedroom.” Mike said, tossing a napkin at them.</p><p> </p><p>Richie just looked at Eddie before pulling on his jacket. Both of them ditching the jackets and tossing them to one of the Losers who caught them.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go dance, Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie said, seeing that same look from earlier cross Eddie’s face.</p><p> </p><p>He heard the others freak out about the nickname but ignored them as he pulled the shorter male to the stairs. Keeping a hold of the males hands as they to the dance floor. Richie pulling Eddie close as the shorter male let out a rough breath.</p><p> </p><p>“You knew we were going to come here tonight didn’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I assumed you’d want to club after being given a mission, yes.” Eddie breathed into Richie’s ear, “I also happen to know you like shirts with lots of lace ups.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not my fault my ADHD acts up.” Richie said, turning Eddie and pulling him against him before leaning down to his ear, “You good with this?”</p><p> </p><p>“That should be my question, Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m doing what I want. No pressure on either end.” Richie told him, “I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie leaned his head back against Richie’s shoulder. Letting the taller guide them in the dance as his eyes shut. The music loud and almost obnoxious as Richie’s nose pressed against his temple. A kiss being laid to the skin there before he felt Richie’s hands tighten on his waist.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked, looking up at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Connor is here.” Richie said, feeling Eddie tense up.</p><p> </p><p>While Connor Bowers still worked at MATURIN, he was still the cousin of Henry Bowers. Connor didn’t agree with Henry being part of FLAGG but it didn’t stop all of them from feeling uncomfortable around the male. Especially given his joining of Body, Ace Merill’s team.</p><p> </p><p>“Should we go upstairs?” Eddie asked, uneasy.</p><p> </p><p>The last time Connor and Richie had seen each other they’d gotten into a fist fight that had gotten them both benched for two weeks.</p><p> </p><p>“No. He has a problem then he can get over it.” Richie said, turning Eddie around slowly, “I’m dancing with my boyfriend.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s face lighting up with his smile was worth it. Leaning down and kissing him gently as he had upstairs. The noise from the club fading as Richie focused on Eddie entirely. The smell of the male’s body wash filling his nose pleasantly. His hand going to cup the younger male’s cheek as Eddie let out a small moan. Richie taking the opportunity to deepen the kiss. His tongue ghosting across Eddie’s who moved closer to him. Eddie’s hands sinking back in his back pocket and squeezing just a little.</p><p> </p><p>It was dizzying how much he didn’t want to come up for air. His nose bumping Eddie’s when he pulled back just a little. Eddie’s eyes opened slowly as he just stared at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>The smell of apples was still strong in Richie’s nose as he nuzzled Eddie’s neck. A soft gasp making him smile as he kissed under Eddie’s chin.</p><p> </p><p>“Tease.” Eddie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I’m the worst.”</p><p> </p><p>“At least you admit it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie glared over Richie’s shoulder at the new voice in their conversation. Richie kissed Eddie gently once with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Do me a favor?” Richie asked, seeing Eddie nod, “Go upstairs and grab the others? I think we need to take this party back to my apartment.”</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed.” Eddie said, leaving Richie reluctantly.</p><p> </p><p>The taller male turned to Connor who just smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I see you finally convinced Kaspbrak you aren’t a worthless piece of shit.”</p><p> </p><p>“I see you’re still trying to ride your cousin’s coattails. I’m sorry sociopath just runs if the family. That must be awful for you.” Richie said, crossing his arms over his chest, “What do you want, Connor?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ace kicked me off his team today.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, even Ace fucking Merrill has a line. Who the hell knew that was possible?” Richie asked, seeing Connor’s eyes narrow, “What does that have to do with me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I was hoping that you could put in a good word with either your team or Ka-Tet-”</p><p> </p><p>“Fat fucking chance. Roland doesn’t roll with people who are related to psychopaths and after what your cousin did to me I don’t fucking think so, Bowers. You’d have better luck staying on a tier three team like Cujo.” Richie laughed, “You couldn’t possibly think I’d okay you being on my team did you? And Roland despises you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I figured you wouldn’t be petty and would let me join.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, you figured really wrong. Sucks to suck I guess.” Richie said, seeing his team come downstiars ready to fight, “How about this? I’ll put in a good words for you with Percy and you can join his team.”</p><p> </p><p>“The Mile is a fucking tier four team!”</p><p> </p><p>“Seems about right for a piece of shit like you.” Eddie said, wrapping an arm around Richie’s waist, “Come on, Chee, we’re leaving.”</p><p> </p><p>“Better luck next time, Bowers.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“You know it’s fucked up you all judge me based off of Henry, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stopped walking, causing Eddie to come to a stop as well.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe if you weren’t such an insane asshole we wouldn’t. It’s not just all Henry, you know. It’s because of how you treat all of us.” Richie told him, looking him over once, “Maybe work on your personality and attitude. But I will assure you that you’ll never get on a tier one team because we’re all in agreement that you’re a prick. Later.”</p><p> </p><p>Letting Stan and Eddie pull him away from Connor before he provoked the other male to punch him. The fresh air felt like it cleared his head almost immediately. Stan keeping a hold of one arm as Eddie’s hands tightened on the other.</p><p> </p><p>“So we’re meeting at Richie’s? Sleepover?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We can.” Richie said, looking back at the club, “The spare bedroom is made up so Bill, Mike and Stan can take that. You and Ben can have the pull out couch.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what about me?” Eddie asked, getting his attention.</p><p> </p><p>“You can sleep with Beverly and Ben.” Stan said, smiling at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>It was times like this that Richie loved Stan. The male was the only one that knew two very important secrets about his room that he knew Stan would take care of for his apartment in Philadelphia. His room was soundproof and that he had awful nightmares still about Patrick. It was something he was able to hide from Eddie who typically put in sleep earbuds to drown out the noise of big city nightlife.</p><p> </p><p>“That works.” Eddie said, looking at Richie who was staring at Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get going. We’ll meet you guys there.” Stan said, as Richie went to his bike with Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie waited for the others to go to Stan’s car before he looked at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that about?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Is there a reason I can’t sleep in your bed?”</p><p> </p><p>“You can, I just think Stan was just being paternal.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie frowned, “Why?”</p><p> </p><p>Both putting their helmets on as Eddie pushed his face shield up.</p><p> </p><p>“You’d have to ask him.” Richie told him, “Now grab on, I’m not letting them beat us.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie didn’t move as Richie turned to look at him. The look on his face stating plain as day that he wanted to know why. Richie taking a deep breath and shoving his face shield up.</p><p> </p><p>“I still have nightmares about what happened...Stan knows because he spent the night one night and we fell asleep on the couch. And I kind of—had a violent fit. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you if I have one.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck that, I’ll sleep without my earbuds.” Eddie said softly, “You don’t have to be ashamed of anything Richie, you know that right?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s hard to remember it sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well I’ll remind you of it every day for the rest of our lives. Now let’s get going.” Eddie said, pushing Richie’s face shield down before getting his own.</p><p> </p><p>Wrapping his arms around Richie tightly before the male turned the bike on. Speeding out of the parking spot and making his way to his apartment. It wasn’t fair, really, because his bike could go places their car couldn’t. Cutting through an alley and zipping down it.</p><p> </p><p>He had to be honest with Eddie, especially now that they were together. He knew how the smaller male was and didn’t want him to feel responsible at all for anything that happened with Richie. And with his need to always take care of everyone that’s what would happen.</p><p> </p><p>He’d make sure to never leave the male in the dark unless it was absolutely necessary.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The mission doesn't go the way they originally planned it but then again neither does the debrief.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The plan was simple for their mission. It would take them six hours at most. That was six hours of Richie and Eddie pretending they didn’t know one another. The manager, Gary, was a grade a asshole that had eyes for Eddie. After they’d discovered that they had restructured part of the plan. It worked in their favor as the younger male was better a pick pocketing than Richie was.</p><p> </p><p>They were practicing on the stage; Eddie standing next to Richie as he fixed his mesh shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“Make eye contact with Gary.” Richie whispered, “It’ll make it easier for you to get closer.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not used to being the—um..”</p><p> </p><p>“Seductress?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Eddie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Just pretend it’s me.” Richie said, “If you can just keep his attention, I’ll try to steal the key from him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can steal the key I’m just—a little out of my depth. Usually these missions are ones you do. I didn’t realize I’d be his type.” Eddie told him softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Like I said just pretend it’s me, Eds.” Richie muttered, “Flirt with him and you’ll get it easily. Then make the pass to me and I’ll let you know in the comm when I have the list.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded as they waited their turn. Richie turning to him and sighing.</p><p> </p><p>“Remember our assignment in Prague last year?” Richie asked quietly, seeing Eddie nod, “Remember the attitude you had? Do that but turn it up to ten.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s eyes lit up with understanding as Richie smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“And if he touches you in a way I don’t like, I’m killing him before we leave.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Down killer.” Stan said, “We can’t let Randall know that we know this is his business.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Yes well this fucker isn’t looking at your boyfriend like a steak.” Richie said spitefully, “He touches Eddie and I’m straight up taking the nearest sharp instrument and shoving it in his eye.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Heard you’re really protective of Eddie. It’s sweet.” Beverly giggled.</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie frowned, “Remind me again why I can’t just go knock this fucker out and take the key?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Because we don’t need Randall to know we have the list?” Mike laughed, “What Stan literally just said a minute ago.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie growled softly before Eddie’s cover name was called. He walked up to where Gary was sitting. Going through the steps of the dance easily as Richie watched him. Beverly and Bill had walked him step by step through the choreography of his dance. Watching it, on the other hand was something else entirely.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s hips grinding in the air as he turned and snuck a smile at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Well then, I guess Eddie got the dance down.” Ben said.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>No shit, I’m a good teacher and so is Bill.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>I-I thought he’d be h-h-hopeless.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“How many things did you guys teach him?” Richie asked, his mouth going dry.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>If you’re asking us if Gordie is making sure to install a pole the answer is yes. Yes he is.” Beverly said, “You doing okay there, Rich?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“If I go into cardiac failure you all have to battle royale for all my worldly possessions.” Richie told them seriously, trying to ignore all their laughter, “Rest in pepperoni, Richie Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Can I just say it’s a relief hearing you joke around again?” Mike told him.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>It r-r-really is, Richie.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Will it be a relief if I die because you guys taught my boyfriend how to dance like <em>that</em>. Christ, I was not prepared for this mission.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I guess we didn’t think about that.” Beverly said, unapologetically, “Damn.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I love you Bev, but you suck.” Richie sighed, fixing his own shirt, “I’m about to say fuck it. Randall will know that MATURIN did this. We’re leaving MATURIN. I don’t give a shit. He is about to touch Eddie and I’m going to rip his arm off.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Jesus you’ve been violent lately.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’ll show you violent.” Richie grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You know...he has a point.” Stan said, “Randall will blame MATURIN and we have control of the cameras. We can delete the footage. Just lift the necklace now and get the list then get out.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Danny will want to know why we deviated from what he wanted.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Fuck Danny.” Stan said, “Eddie, how do you feel about it?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“The faster you can get me out of here...the better.” Eddie said, once his turn was over and he could get back to Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Sending in Bill and Mike as back up. You guys have to figure out a good way to get the key and get out.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’ll distract him.” Eddie said, looking at Richie, “Can you lift the necklace if I act the part of innocent virgin?”</p><p> </p><p>“I can.” Richie said, “Bill and Mike, I need you both to figure out a way to get him away from the fucker afterwards.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Roger that.” Bill said, “We’ll be there in two minutes.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to Eddie who nodded and walked towards Gary. Pretending very believably that he’d tripped and landed in Gary’s lap. The manager laughing as he put his hands around Eddie’s waist. The male apologizing loud and profusely as Richie moved quickly. Seeing his opening and wanting to take it as fast as possible.</p><p> </p><p>Taking a deep breath as he watched Eddie lift the necklace fluidly by unfastening it and pulling it up just a little; holding it out to Richie behind the male’s back as he got a little closer to him with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>He took it and moved quickly to the back office. Smiling as he took the key and opened the door. Sliding in and shutting it quickly behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>How long?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Ten minutes until extraction.” Richie said, finding the safe quickly as he pulled out his lock pick kit.</p><p> </p><p>Sliding the feeler pick inside with the ward pick. Feeling the lock slowly; if you forced it you could set off an internal alarm. That was the last thing they needed as he jimmied the pins in their right order. Feeling one give tension as it didn’t want to give in. Frowning as he slid the pick along it gently. Giving it a moment to release.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>How’s it going?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“The lock is a bit of a bitch.” Richie told Stan, “But I’m getting there. Time?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Six minutes to extraction.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Grinning when he felt the last pin give finally.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank fucking God.” Richie sighed, opening the safe and looking inside.</p><p> </p><p>Looking at each piece of paper before frowning as he went through each pile. Looking at a book that was small and red as he grabbed it and opened it. Seeing the team names with the person’s names underneath it with a grin.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Rich?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I got it.” Richie said, “It’s a book, not exactly a list. I’m on my way to extraction.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>As are we.” Eddie said, “Mike pinched his nerve and knocked him out.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie tossed the key in the secure shredder bin with a smile. Slipping out of the office and heading for the back door. Eddie, Bill and Mike at his back as they entered the back alley. Smiling at Ben as he opened the door and they got inside.</p><p> </p><p>“God I love when missions are easy.” Stan said, as Ben slammed the door shut, “Let’s go home, Bev.”</p><p> </p><p>“Roger that!” Beverly said, driving immediately, “So what do we tell Danny?”</p><p> </p><p>“That the intel was bad. I’ll tell him.” Richie said, “I’ll explain that we found bank statements and a business license but that’s it.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what’s in there?” Eddie asked, seeing Richie turn a page.</p><p> </p><p>“Names of teams, people and their sponsors.” Richie said, “Everything needed to dismantle them from the ground up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wonderful news.” Stan grinned, looking back at him, “And we can pin it on MATURIN. All will be fine because we’ll be gone before they realize we lied.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you guys feel weird about pinning it on them though?” Ben asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Sweet Ben.” Bill said slowly, “They’ve l-l-literally treated Richie like s-s-shit. Three of the p-p-people have abused him. Fuck them.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s true.” Ben said, “No regrets?”</p><p> </p><p>“None.” Richie said, “And once we set shop up our first mission can be taking out Patrick.”</p><p> </p><p>“Amen to that.” Beverly said confidently, “You okay, Eddie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just hate that that fucker groped me.” Eddie said, sticking his tongue out, “Fucking douchebag.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled Eddie into his lap with a gentle kiss. His hands caressing down the younger male’s sides as he felt a sigh being released from the smaller body. Keeping Eddie’s mind on the hear and now and not back there with Gary. Forcing his own demons back as he took care of his boyfriend. Pulling back and smiling at the male.</p><p> </p><p>“Better?”</p><p> </p><p>“Much better.” Eddie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“You two are unbearably cute.” Beverly said, fake disgust in her voice, “I love it so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t encourage them to be disgustingly cute with each other.” Mike said.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m with Mike.” Stan said, as Bill nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re all the worst.” Richie said, kissing the tip of Eddie’s nose, “How about when we get back to Los Angeles, you and me go to our favorite restaurant one more time before we leave?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so down.” Eddie said, “It’ll be nice to have our first date.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled down at him, “I was thinking the same thing.”</p><p> </p><p>Ignoring the sounds of their friends fake vomiting as he let Eddie lean back into him. Letting his back hit the side of the SUV they were in as his arms wrapped around the male tightly. Eddie tilting his head up coming to rest right under Richie’s chin.</p><p> </p><p>“I let Danny know there wasn’t a list.” Stan said, “His exact words were ‘are you absolutely certain that there wasn’t? The intel came from a usually reliable source?’”</p><p> </p><p>“Tell him that I scoped it out twice just to make sure but there was nothing there.” Richie said, “If he knows I checked it he won’t question it.”</p><p> </p><p>“So...question.” Bev asked, “How are we going to hide that little notebook if we can’t stop by the house?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed, “We drive by my place on the way to headquarters. Chris will be there to catch the notebook and put it in my place. That way we don’t stop and maintain the same speed.”</p><p> </p><p>“That actually seems solid.” Ben laughed, “How did you get Chris to agree to that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Easy, we’re all a family Ben. SBM are our go to back up team. Everyone coming with us are people we can rely on and trust. If I didn’t trust them then we wouldn’t be leaving.” Richie told him, “It works out in our favor that SBM and Dreamcatcher both requested time off starting today. So Chris won’t be missed from headquarters.”</p><p> </p><p>“You made your mind up at an opportune time.” Stan agreed, “They’ll be overseeing the work on headquarters and our new apartments.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes well, it wasn’t really a hard decision once Danny said your lives were expendable.” Richie said, “I want to work for a company, our company, that doesn’t put anyone above anyone else.”</p><p> </p><p>He looked at how the others didn’t say anything and frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Well we all kind of came to the decision that you and Eddie would still be the faces but just of our company.” Stan said slowly, “The two of you together are lethal. The teams are why we got some sponsors but the more expensive ones are leaving because you two are. It makes MATURIN a sinking ship.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to Eddie who was frowning.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t include me in that.” Eddie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, we just kind of thought that you’d a-a-agree with us. It gives us the money to do this t-t-thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I would have agreed to me and Richie being a face of another company, no. Considering the amount of pressure it puts on him.” Eddie said, “Do you guys not think a-”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds, it’s fine.” Richie said, “If it keeps the sponsors happy we have to do that. We need the money to get away from MATURIN. We need that money to live on. Plus we don’t have to worry about Danny and them taking a huge chunk of the money.”</p><p> </p><p>Texting Chris with one hand to let him know they were about ten minutes out.</p><p> </p><p>“But you—I know what being the face of MATURIN has been doing to you.” Eddie said quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“So you know that it isn’t anything I’m not used to.”</p><p> </p><p>“You shouldn’t have to be used to it.” Eddie said sadly, leaning back against Richie again.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, Eds.” Richie whispered in his ear, “It’ll be worth it to get away from my parents and Danny.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you say so.”</p><p> </p><p>He laid a kiss on Eddie’s cheek. He knew that Eddie worried about him and the pressure he thought he was under. At MATURIN it was about a pedestal and being the best. Failure wasn’t an option for Danny.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling onto Richie’s street as he moved away from Eddie. Opening the door and grabbing hold of the bar next to it. Leaning out and seeing Chris as he threw him the notebook. Seeing the male catch it and then book it into Richie’s apartment building. Pulling himself back in as he shut the door and smiled at the others.</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect.” Bill said, grinning back at him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved back to his spot behind Eddie and waited for them to get to headquarters. It wasn’t going to be an easy debrief. He knew that just as well as he knew anything else.</p><p> </p><p>Shutting his eyes and breathing in Eddie’s body wash to focus him on the here and now. The apple scent filling his nose and calming him. He could always rely in that smell to make him calm down.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling up to headquarters as they all slowly got out and made their way inside. Richie not letting go of Eddie’s hand as he let the male lead him. None of them said anything as they got on the elevator and went up to the conference room floor.</p><p> </p><p>Richie wouldn’t lie, he could tell the others were nervous. This was the first time they were turning up empty handed from a mission.</p><p> </p><p>The air was stiff when they made it to the conference room. Danny, Went and Maggie all looked furious as they all took their seats. Andy was nowhere around and it was weird considering he was their handler.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you’re positive there was no list?” Danny asked, “It would’ve been a little notebook, red.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shook his head and put his acting to the test. Looking ashamed as he looked at Danny’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“I checked twice. There were receipts for alcohol shipments and a business license. There was even a thing that Randall signed. There weren’t any notebooks though.” Richie said, “I even looked in his desk to see if maybe he was stupid enough to leave it laying around.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny’s fists hit the table as he shoved back from it. He looked out the window as Went and Maggie looked over at them.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t understand it. Our intel told us it was there. It was there last week!” Danny snapped, “Your team waited too long to get it! They probably fucking moved it!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie winced and watched Eddie look down. He knew the younger male disliked hostile environments and with Danny being furious it wasn’t exactly friendly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry Danny, there’s no way we could’ve known they’d move it.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not blaming you, Richie.” Danny said firmly, “I’m blaming Eddie as it was his idea for you to wait three days to go on the damn mission to begin with.”</p><p> </p><p>That wasn’t going to fly with him. Eddie was just doing it to watch out for him. And when it came down to it he got final say in everything. Looking at his boyfriend who looked as if he was about to start screaming.</p><p> </p><p>“I could have overrode the order.” Richie told Danny, who stared at him, “I didn’t because I wanted to be lazy for a few more days. At the end of the day this falls on me. I’m sorry we missed our window to get the list. We’ll get it next time. We’ll leave within an hour of you telling us about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny just kept staring at him and then looked to Eddie who kept his head down.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s true.” Danny said, “Keep that in mind, Richie the next time we give you a mission involving FLAGG.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir.” Richie said quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Your next mission is to retrieve The Dresden Green diamond.” Danny told them, “One of our sponsors wants it for their personal gallery.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie froze, “Wait...you want us to <em>steal</em> a diamond that is on view in Germany?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I do.” Danny said, “Our sponsors pay your check and they want this diamond.”</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t a retrieval mission, Danny.” Richie said, “This is us legitimately stealing something.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your problem is what?” Went asked, “You’ve stolen things before.”</p><p> </p><p>“We have?” Stan asked, looking at them in shock, “Wait! Hold on, when did we start stealing things?”</p><p> </p><p>Danny and Went shared a look as Richie stared at them in horror. It slowly started sinking in that maybe their jobs were a little bit more wrong than they originally thought. Seeing that dawning on the rest of his team’s faces.</p><p> </p><p>“You always have, it’s just sometimes it is a legitimate retrieval mission.” Danny said, rolling his eyes, “Is this going to be a problem?”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Richie stated loudly, before the others could say anything, “Not a problem at all. We’ll leave shortly to get it. We’ll have it in three days.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny smiled at Richie, “I’m glad you get it. And Richie, <em>don’t</em> turn up empty handed again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Or what?” Eddie asked, looking to their boss, “We turned up empty handed once based off of intel that could or could not be good.”</p><p> </p><p>“Or he won’t like the consequences for those actions.” Danny told Eddie, “Now get out of my sight.”</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t have to be told twice. Danny flinging the file at Stan who barely caught it as they all rushed out of the conference room. He knew without having to say a word that they were going to talk about this on the way to Germany. There was no doubt in his mind that his team was furious at this turn of events. Richie sure as hell was but they couldn’t have Danny being suspicious of them before they left. That meant they’d be watched and he couldn’t have that either.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing the look on Eddie’s face and knowing the male was close to screaming. Richie didn’t think they could get to their cars fast enough.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Germany is not what Richie expected during November.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Germany was actually kind of beautiful in November. Richie would admit that the snow was a big change from Los Angeles. And if it was to be believed it was the first snow of the winter. The Dresden Castle itself was large and spoke of how old it was.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly popping bubble gum on the tour as Richie watched her feed. It made more sense for Beverly and Ben to act like an America tourist couple than for Richie and Eddie to go in when they were stealing it.</p><p> </p><p>“Make sure you’re looking at entry points and logging where you are.” Eddie said, rubbing his temples.</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt that spiritually because they were used to doing the footwork. Beverly and Ben were used to being in their seats.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We know guys.” Beverly sighed, “For the fifteenth time, we trained just like you did.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Then you’d know you forgot to mark a corridor back there.” Richie sighed back, “It’s fine though, we just need to know where the fucking diamond is and go from there.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Got it.” Ben hissed softly.</em></p><p> </p><p>The diamond came into view on their feed. Richie looking at it with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“So we’ve got a pressure plate on there.” Eddie said, “Dual plexi and carbon glass. The room has laser grid security which is a big of a bitch but we can manage it. Richie, what do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think we can just walk right in and take it.” Richie told him, “There’s no cameras here and there.”</p><p> </p><p>Pointing at the spots where there wasn’t anything to watch them.</p><p> </p><p>“We can flip over to it and take it easily. That won’t be an issue. The issue will be the glass. That’ll take about five minutes but there are heat detectors there and there.” Richie said, putting his finger to where they were, “That means we have about two minutes to get it out unless we can figure out a way to cool our body temperature.”</p><p> </p><p>“So it’s impossible.” Stan said, rubbing his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Not impossible, just not fun.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you going to keep a cool body temperature, Richie?” Stan asked, “Unless you have superpowers. If that room detects a temperature above seventy degrees we’re fucked.”</p><p> </p><p>“So we keep my core body temperature cold.” Richie said, “It’ll be a one person job. I’ll get the diamond and get out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fucking how do you propose that?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going to need two cooling blankets from the hospital.” Richie told them, seeing them both stare at him in horror, “I’ll wear them and we can keep them strapped onto me. It’ll lower my temperature to where it should be and I can weasel my way in there and get the diamond.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you insane? You want to induce hypothermia essentially?” Bill asked, “Are you f-f-f-fucking crazy?”</p><p> </p><p>“Might be, but we can’t show up at MATURIN empty handed or Danny will do something none of us like. And we have to play with them until we ghost them.”</p><p> </p><p>“This is crazy...you are crazy.” Eddie said, “For a diamond?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s seventy degrees-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s stage three hypothermia, Richard.” Eddie said fiercely, “If your temperature drops below seventy then it’s fucking stage four which is profound where you have no vital signs because you’re dead! Think of a different fucking plan!”</p><p> </p><p>“Then what if I kept my temperature at eighty degrees?”</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely not! You’re not making yourself hypothermic for a fucking diamond. Danny can suck a bag of dicks.” Eddie said, “Think of something else.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him and sighed before leaning back.</p><p> </p><p>“Ice grenades? We set them off in the room and it’ll lower the temperature of the room below seventy degrees. If I can work on the glass fast enough then I can be in and out before the temperature gets above seventy. We’d need...four and at ten degrees per it’d be about thirty degrees in there?”</p><p> </p><p>“You mean the ice grenades we haven’t even field tested yet?” Stan asked, staring at Richie like he’d grown a second head, “Everything else, fine, but the heat detector means this job can’t be done-”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to see what happens if we turn back up empty handed?” Richie asked, “Because he was looking at Eddie when he said it. If you think I’m going to chance something happening to Eddie because of a stupid diamond you’re a goddamn fool. Now, Ben you’ll have to hack into the security system just in case things go south. You can hold off the alarms sounding and any other extra security measures long enough for me to jump out a damn window. Bev, we’ll need aerial support.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Roger that crazy son of a bitch.” Beverly said, “I’ll get a helicopter somehow.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Great, we’re stealing it tonight.” Richie told them, standing up from the chair in the van and getting out.</p><p> </p><p>The air in there was getting thick with all the body heat. Taking in a deep breath of the cold air with a whole body shiver taking over him for a moment. He didn’t want to test Danny on what he’d do if he got angry enough. He knew how furious the male was because of the list. He didn’t want to chance anything happening to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“You okay?” Stan asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just trying to be cautious.” Richie said softly, “I just can’t risk it. If that means going against my own morals and getting that stupid fucking diamond I’ll do it no matter what.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, we need to increase the timeline and ghost them sooner rather than later. You can’t do two weeks of this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure I can-”</p><p> </p><p>“How are your nightmares?” Stan asked, as Richie stared at him, “That’s what I thought. Did you know nightmares increase in times of intense stress? Let’s walk.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan looped his arm with Richie’s as they moved away from the van. Richie looking to Stan who kept his eyes straight as they made it to a bench. Sitting down as Richie follow suit.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you’re worried about Eddie. I know you’re worried about us. However, we’re all concerned about you. I know it was a douchebag move to not ask how you’d feel about being the face of our new company. However, the sponsors wouldn’t have left if we hadn’t. If we were seriously going to leave we couldn’t just not do that.” Stan said, “That being said, there is no pedestal in the new company. I’ve already spoken to the sponsors who are okay with a ninety percent success rate instead of the ninety-nine that we’re currently standing at.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s..lenient.” Richie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Ain’t it though?” Stan laughed, “Rich, we aren’t going to let you get hurt by Danny. Not if we can help it and the other teams will help us. We’re all a group.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just hate this feeling in my chest.” Richie said, “And I know it’s because of how I was raised. Where not being number one means failure. Where not completing a mission fully means failure. And it makes me feel like a major failure and I don’t know how to not feel like that. Especially if my shortcomings end up hurting someone I care about. I wasn’t joking, Stan….if something happens to Eddie that’ll be it for me. I won’t give a shit about morals and ethics I’ll just want people to hurt like I do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I just don’t want to be in MATURIN anymore.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay...so honesty time?” Stan asked, “We’ve kept Eddie out of the loop on a lot of things. We know you guys try not to lie to each other and didn’t want to put him in a situation where he might have to. We’ve been working on leaving for a month now. We already had a building chosen for headquarters and had bought it. We’ve been looking for apartments since you said we could leave but headquarters is done. Gordie and Jonesy have overseen all the security measures that have been put in. Which includes all the glass being changed out with a thicker plexi that Carrie’s team developed.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“We wanted it to be ready in case you said yes. We said the stuff about two weeks to make you feel better. The only thing that still has to be done is a few apartments need to be outfitted with security. Other than that we can go as soon as we get back.” Stan told him, “It’ll just take a quick text to Chris.”</p><p> </p><p>“The stuff in our apartments-”</p><p> </p><p>“Ka-Tet and The Party can pack up our apartments. We had all started packing anyways, hadn’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...I had.” Richie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Then they’ll finish up and move all of our shit. We can leave as soon as you debrief.” Stan told him, “If you don’t want to be in MATURIN anymore then we won’t. We just didn’t tell you about the building originally because—well...we didn’t want to sway your decision.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie didn’t know what to say to that.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll love the building too! There’s twenty-seven floors and we have two floors set aside for new recruits to be able to stay there and sleep after they train. They’ll get an apartment after they’re in teams and ready for missions.” Stan said excitedly, “The training floor has new equipment including some punching bags that are you favorite. We literally put our hearts and soul into it, Richie. Everything that we all love is in that building.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why didn’t you guys tell me and Eddie that when he told me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Again, didn’t want to sway your decision. The sponsors have been on board for two months now. They’re how we could afford to buy the building. When you said yes it just meant we had to look for apartments for everyone.” Stan told him, “Plus The Party is ready to go on missions and Danny was going to keep them sidelined for four more months. It’s bullshit to keep them from missions when they’re so obviously ready. You’ve seen Mike and Will move together.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly, “Yeah, they move like me and Eds do. There’s complete and total trust there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you mad?”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t lie, I’m a little irritated but you guys did this from a good place. Which makes it a lot easier to swallow. Tell Chris to get our apartments packed and taken care of. Use our fake identities to ship everything out-”</p><p> </p><p>“The sponsors rented an airliner under their name to transport everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Even better.” Richie said slowly, “We’ll get this diamond and ghost MATURIN until we have everything up and running at the new company.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want to name it?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled, “Neibolt. Where we used to hang out all the time when we were teenagers.”</p><p> </p><p>“Neibolt, I like it.” Stan said, as Richie laughed softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I also want to change our team name.” Richie said, as Stan tilted his head, “To what I wanted it to be in the first place before Went overrode me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which was?”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Stan the Man. The Losers Club.” Richie said, seeing the smile light up Stan’s face, “He said it was too inclusive and we had to think if someone left having a replacement or having more team members. I told him...I told him that seven was our number, our lucky number. Lucky seven.”</p><p> </p><p>“When did you have that conversation?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s smile fell as he looked down and away from Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“When I was sixteen.” Richie said, “And Went had talked about tapping all of you. He said luck was for fools. I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud to get punished for making him mad.”</p><p> </p><p>“He—I shouldn’t be shocked—but he punished you for that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Disagreeing with him meant getting a punishment.” Richie said softly, “I didn’t get to eat for almost a week after that. It was right before Eddie’s birthday.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan paled, “I remember that. We all thought you were getting sick because you weren’t eating. You never told us—you never said anything about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would I? Maggie made cracks about my weight all the time. She’d know if I’d eaten or not if I was with you guys.” Richie shrugged as if it was the most normal thing in the world, “Let’s see when I was twelve she said ‘we have a reputation to uphold, Richard.’ When I was six she said ‘you can’t look like an elephant, Richard.’ Or when I was nine she said ‘how will anyone take you seriously as an operative if you can’t even fit into a suit, Richard?’ And my personal favorite was when she told me that it was a good thing that Eddie was my partner in the field because I was too fat for Eds to lift me.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan felt his eyes burn as he looked at Richie who just threw a smile at him.</p><p> </p><p>“When did she tell you that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Two weeks into training when we figured out what our position in the team was.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, you’ve always been insanely skinny-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to stop you right there.” Richie told him, smiling, “I know it’s Maggie’s way of trying to control me. Does it work sometimes? Yes, it does. She’s my mother and I’ll always believe what she says. Does it not work sometimes? Yeah. Because I know she and Went are trash. At the end of the day, it is what it is.”</p><p> </p><p>“It shouldn’t have to be, Rich. I knew when we were younger that they were abusive I just didn’t realize how much.”</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t your place, Stan. I went to your place when I could to get away from them. It just didn’t work sometimes.” Richie said, taking hold of Stan’s hand, “There was nothing else you could do besides what you did, I swear.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan licked his lips, “Richie, I just don’t believe that. Knowing now that they hit you and just—I hate them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Get in line behind Eddie. He wanted to cut their brake lines the other day.” Richie said, seeing a thoughtful look on Stan’s face, “You can’t cut their brake lines either.”</p><p> </p><p>“I would do no such thing. I’m the responsible one.” Stan said, feigning innocence causing Richie to laugh, “And honestly, car accidents are messy business. You know I’m more about poisoning people.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just putting it out there.” Stan said, motioning his arms out into the air, “It’s just out in the universe. Karma will get them in the end.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t believe in karma, you’re Jewish!” Richie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s be real with one another. I haven’t practiced my faith since joining MATURIN.” Stan said, “Also just because I’m Jewish doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the idea of what goes around comes around. Especially when it concerns Wentworth and Maggie Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan, I didn’t realize you stopped practicing.” Richie said honestly.</p><p> </p><p>“Only Bill and Mike know. There doesn’t seem to be a point in trying to be religious when I steal and kill for a living.” Stan shrugged, “I still go with my parents when I visit because you know, how would that look.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not as bad as a Tozier being kidnapped twice.” Richie supplied, seeing Stan frown, “Just imagine you could’ve had my childhood.”</p><p> </p><p>“I would have rather died.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t—don’t joke about that.” Richie told Stan, “I don’t like thinking of any of you hurt nonetheless dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, just don’t joke okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Want to head back before Eddie sends out a search party?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, we wouldn’t want Eds to have a panic attack.” Richie said seriously, standing up with the other male before they started to walk back, “There’s only room for one overdramatic person in this relationship and that is obviously me.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan laughed softly as he followed after him.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing Eddie waiting for them outside of the van; Bill right behind him sitting next to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>His boyfriend sitting up straighter as he smiled at Richie. It was a small smile but still completely visible on his face. Going up to him and taking his hands as Eddie just watched him with apologetic eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“We got the ice grenades.” Eddie said, “We also got some thermal spray so you can detect where the security lasers will be. I’m going in there with you though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Eddie told him simply, “I’m going in there with you. There’s a blind spot before you enter the room where the thermal detectors won’t sense me. I can walk you through it. Plus I can carry four more of the ice grenades and keep it cold so you don’t have to worry about hurrying. If we’re going to do this we’re going to do it right. That is the only room with thermal detectors. We always do missions together, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I just want to—okay?” Eddie blinked, “It was that easy.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right. The extra ice grenades will mean I won’t hurry and screw up. You can help keep the room cold and then we can get out afterwards. There won’t be a hurry to get out if it’s freezing still. Plus we can take the grenades with us so it’s like we weren’t even there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right! And we control the cameras so we can have them go down before we even enter the room. It’ll be a flawless job.” Eddie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed.” Richie smiled, “So let’s suit up.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s smile said everything in the world that it needed to. He was terrified he was going to be turned down but he hadn’t been. It was relief and happiness all in one. If things kept going well then Richie was going to ask Eddie to move in with him. But he agreed they had to take it slow. It wasn’t just for him it was for Eddie as well. While Eddie had dated before it hadn’t been like this. Eddie had admitted on more than one occasion that he believed with all his heart that Richie was it for him. And Richie had told him it was the same for him.</p><p> </p><p>They just had to get out of MATURIN first before Richie would feel comfortable to get more serious.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The mission is simple and yet the Losers have to figure out where the line is.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie almost felt bad about how easy it was to steal this diamond. He had to remind himself of that as he dropped to the floor from the roof. Eddie hitting the floor right beside of him without a sound. It was silent comms on their side as they moved deeper into the castle. Ben making sure the cameras were turned off as they made their way to where the diamond was. Coming to a stop right outside of it before Richie slid four of the ice grenades in easily. Eddie using the thermal spray as they watched the lasers light up under the spray.</p><p> </p><p>Between that and the cold it was easy to detect them.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okay Richie, you got this.” Stan said confidently.</em></p><p> </p><p>He knew he did. This was one of the first things they’d been trained in. Richie stretching his shoulders before taking a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>Watching the lasers quickly before he tumbled in between two. Landing before lowering himself to the ground. He slid under two sets up lasers that he would’ve had a hell of a time crouching under.</p><p> </p><p>Standing and ducking under another as Eddie kept spraying into the room. Watching Richie as he made his way to the diamond.</p><p> </p><p>Richie rising and smiling at the glass that held the diamond. Taking out his torch as he started to work his way into the glass. Smiling as he slid his suction device onto the glass and pulling it off. Putting it on top before he worked on the other side. Doing the same on that side before he grabbed the object that would be put on the pressure plate.</p><p> </p><p>Switching them out fluidly as he pulled it out of the case. Watching the lasers before he tossed the diamond to Eddie. It was caught easily as he put it in his bag. Tossing another ice grenade into the room so Richie could get out. The male having to take the long way out so he could grab the grenades.</p><p> </p><p>Picking them up and sliding them back into his bag as he slid under two lasers. Rising up on the other side where Eddie was and kissing him quickly.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie silently laughed before they started walking towards their exit point.</p><p> </p><p>Stopping when they heard glass shatter.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Fuck! Guys, you have company!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Silent comms still. You’ve got two FLAGG operatives on your six and four coming from your twelve.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to Eddie and then pulled his gun out. Flipping the safety off as he kissed Eddie again quickly. The smaller male taking his gun out as well before they both split off. Hiding behind a cabinet and a desk respectively.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’ll be your eyes. The four coming from your twelve are in the next room coming towards you. Eddie, use your taser.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie and Eddie locked eyes with frowns on their faces. Tasers would agitate most operatives. Eddie switching to his blunt bullet gun. Both taking a deep breath together before Richie motioned to his throat and then curved his arm to indicate going around them to get behind.</p><p> </p><p>One nod from Eddie was all it took for both of them to move as one. Going around objects and hiding behind them discretely. Richie wanted them to get to the tables at the end of the room. They would provide good cover as they were heavy red oak tables.</p><p> </p><p>Wincing when he heard a crash; looking over to where Eddie was and seeing him pale. So much for discretion.</p><p> </p><p>Running for the tables as Richie heard a bullet hit the wall behind him. Jumping over the table and hitting the floor on the other side. Both he and Eddie flipped their tables over and hid behind them. Wincing at the feel of bullets hitting the wood.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shit! Do you want us to send Bill and Mike?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Negative.” Eddie hissed, “We’ll shoot our way out. Get to the west side window, B.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Roger that, Eds.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie sitting up and aiming at one of the operatives. Shooting them in between the eyes before he ducked. They were definitely FLAGG operatives. The red and black logo on their uniforms being a dead giveaway. But what the fuck were they doing here?</p><p> </p><p>“Slide me your blunt gun.” Richie said, seeing Eddie frown, “Now Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie slid it over to him as he grabbed it and holstered it for the time being.</p><p> </p><p>“Head around to the left.” Richie heard a familiar voice hiss.</p><p> </p><p>Follow the leader.</p><p> </p><p>Sitting up again and shooting the male to the left in the chest. Hearing him go down as he shot at the one to the right. The one in the middle was who he wanted answers from.</p><p> </p><p>Ducking when shots were fired at him. Eddie sitting up and shooting at the male before ducking.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Two coming from you six are incoming.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to Eddie as they both sat up and shot at the two males. Richie switching to the blunt gun and hitting the guy in the chest. Watching the male get winded and drop to a knee as Eddie stared at him in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>Shooting the other male in the head when he switched guns. Eddie following suit as he shot one of the newcomers. Shooting the leader twice more with the rubber bullets. One in the throat and one in the forehead.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Come on boys!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Go E!” Richie told his boyfriend who looked at him, “Go! I’ll be right behind you!”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie-”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be right behind him.” Richie restated, shooting the last male in the throat, “Promise...give me a minute.”</p><p> </p><p>Walking around the table as Eddie shot the glass out. Grabbing the rope ladder and starting to climb up. Richie crouched over the male he’d hit with the rubber bullet.</p><p> </p><p>Ripping off the face mask and smiling down at the male.</p><p> </p><p>“Moose Sadler, well this is a nice surprise.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Wait...as in one of Henry’s old teammates?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Tozier, always a pleasure. Did you have to get me in the chest?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I did.” Richie said, grinning tightly, “So what are you doing here, Moose? I thought you stopped being Henry’s errand boy?”</p><p> </p><p>“I have stopped however Patrick asked me to check in on his favorite Loser.”</p><p> </p><p>“How’s that going for you?” Richie asked, taking one of Moose’s hands as his foot stepped on the male’s throat, “Be honest.”</p><p> </p><p>He snapped one of the male’s fingers; ignoring the screaming as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Not...not well.” Moose breathed, “Look Tozier-”</p><p> </p><p>“No, you don’t get to talk except to answer my questions.” Richie said, “Answer quickly and truthfully then I won’t get pissed. Don’t piss me off, Moose.”</p><p> </p><p>Snapping a second finger and moving with the male when he flailed.</p><p> </p><p>“Why did Patrick send you out here? Don’t say to check on me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you-”</p><p> </p><p>Snapping a third finger caused the male’s voice to break when he screamed.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie, stop!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Ignoring Beverly as he smiled down at the male.</p><p> </p><p>“Want to try that again?” Richie asked, moving the fourth finger just a little.</p><p> </p><p>Moose stared up at him before cringing.</p><p> </p><p>“He’ll kill me.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie...come to us.” Eddie said softly.</em></p><p> </p><p>It took a lot in Richie to ignore Eddie. But he wanted answers...he deserved answers after everything that had happened. And this asshole right here could be a direct link to Patrick. And he really...really wanted to take care of that particular problem before he could move forward with Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“And I won’t? Try me, Moose...it’s a brave new world out there. And after what Patrick did to me...I wouldn’t really try my patience right now. I’m not really known for it.”</p><p> </p><p>Moose stared at Richie and whatever he saw must have swayed him.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s been having us track you to see where you are. He wants to know your location at all times.” Moose said, “We don’t work strictly for FLAGG right now...we work with Henry’s team. Henry’s team pays us right now.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie pet the male’s unbroken fingers with a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Shouldn’t shock me. Have you been the only team to follow us?” Richie asked, getting a nod, “Good job so far, Moose. Is this your whole team?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, unfortunately I underestimated you and your bitch.” Moose said bitterly.</p><p> </p><p>Richie broke the fourth finger at the comment towards Eddie, ignoring the scream of pain. Richie pushing down more on the male’s throat with his foot to strangle the scream. The rage he felt stirred in his stomach as he tried to ignore it. Calling Eddie a bitch however was a one way ticket to pain.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Jesus Christ, Rich! Come on!” Stan snapped.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Final question. Where is Patrick?” Richie asked, seeing Moose shake his head, “Where the <em>fuck</em> is Patrick?”</p><p> </p><p>When he got another shake of the head he broke the male’s thumb. Ignoring the scream again as he just smiled down at the hostile operative.</p><p> </p><p>“Where is Patrick?” Richie questioned, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the male.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie broke the male’s wrist with a sigh, “I can keep on going just...right down your arm or you can just tell me what I want to know. You continue this and I’m going to just shoot you in the head, Moose.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You may need to shoot him in the head anyways because he may come back for revenge.” Ben said, regretfully.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Last...Last I talked to them...they were going to Montana for a mission.” Moose said, “But I don’t know when...I don’t know..when they’ll be back. I told them—I told them they needed to hit at your...little friends before coming for you again. That you’d...do anything to protect them.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly before shaking his head. Of course this fucker had said that. And if he told Patrick about him asking questions about him then it wouldn’t end well for him or his team. It would make Henry and Patrick come for Richie that much harder. Which meant his team being in the crosshairs more than they already were.</p><p> </p><p>“Now see, was that so hard?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s going to kill me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not if you’re already dead.” Richie told him, shooting him in the head.</p><p> </p><p>He dropped the male’s arm and pursed his lips. Montana but wasn’t sure when. That was interesting if Richie was entirely honest. What the hell was in Montana?</p><p> </p><p>Going to the window and grabbing the rope ladder. Feeling when Beverly started to ascend as he made his way up. Taking the hand offered to him as Bill pulled him up. He saw the faces of his team and braced himself.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Was it necessary to torture him before killing him?” Mike asked slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“He knew information about Patrick. I thought we wanted information on him so we could kill him? Or is that no longer the plan?” Richie asked, seeing them look down, “And I gave him a quicker death than Patrick would have. I want Patrick dead and out of my fucking life. Not popping back up every single time I don’t expect it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was just...shocking is all.” Bill said very slowly, “We weren’t e-e-expecting it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not? They were FLAGG operatives and it was the perfect opportunity.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you have to kill him?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>“He did.” Eddie said, “Look, I don’t like it either guys but he wasn’t going to talk otherwise. And he had to kill him otherwise the could would have told Patrick that we were asking about him and his location. It would’ve completely fucked us over.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, he didn’t have to torture him!” Beverly said.</p><p> </p><p>“He did.” Stan said, “Guys, he wasn’t going to talk otherwise. If we want to kill Patrick then we have to get on a lower level where we aren’t going to always do the right thing. Are you serious about this or not?”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan.” Bill said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t apologize for agreeing with it. But I’d rather Richie be able to live his life without looking over his shoulder all the time. I want him to be able to work at a company that isn’t going to put the money and mission first before the people. Wasn’t that the point of us agreeing we were going to get rid of Patrick or did I hallucinate that?”</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t! We all still want that it’s just...torturing is a whole other wheelhouse.” Ben said, “We didn’t realize we were going to have to do it.”</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t...I did.” Richie said, “And if I have to it’ll always be me so that way you guys won’t have to. At the end of the day it’s my problem.”</p><p> </p><p>“And mine.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>“And mine.” Stan told him, “It’s all of ours. We can’t complain about hating that Richie was hurt...like that if we aren’t willing to dole out the punishment. We’re the Losers Club, nothing can hurt us if we stick together, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Right.” Mike said, “I think we lost sight of the mission...the overall mission because we got scared.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay to get scared.” Eddie said, “But would you rather torture some FLAGG operatives or have Richie get hurt again? For me, it’s no contest.”</p><p> </p><p>“It isn’t just about me anymore, it’s all of us. Patrick threatened Eddie and shot him out of a window. He’s escalating it you guys.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>They all let that simmer in the air for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s true.” Ben said, “We have to take care of him before he escalates it further.”</p><p> </p><p>“Glad we’re finally on the same page.” Stan said, rolling his eyes, “Bev, get us to the strip.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s where I was headed. I want to get home where it isn’t fucking snowing.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie said nothing as he sat down and looked out the window. Watching the clouds as he settled down. He didn’t want to think about what kind of person would torture someone. But on the other hand he also wanted Patrick gone. He needed the male gone. He couldn’t live his life with that fucker popping up whenever he got comfortable.</p><p> </p><p>Leaning his head back in the seat before feeling someone sit next to him.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t judge you for it.” Eddie said softly, “I was just concerned for you. I thought you were just going to kill the guy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I need Patrick gone.” Richie whispered, “I wish it would help my nightmares but I don’t think it will. But waking up and knowing that he’s gone might help me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know...that’s why I agree that you had to torture and kill him. And you aren’t wrong that he’s going to escalate it. He already tried to kill me.”</p><p> </p><p>“And he won’t stop.” Richie sighed, “Not until he gets what he wants.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which is terrifying because we don’t even know what he wants. What his end game is besides...wanting you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Only wants me until he breaks me. Unfortunately for me, he knows how to break me.” Richie said, “I’m tired Eds, so I think I’m going to sleep until we get to the strip.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie wanted to say something to him but didn’t as he nodded and offered his shoulder to the male.</p><p> </p><p>Richie taking the offer and laying his head down. He knew that his friends didn’t like what he’d done but he wasn’t going to justify it. It wasn’t a black and white situation anymore. It couldn’t be for them to get what they wanted.</p><p> </p><p>He just hoped they’d still love him afterwards.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie debriefs Danny before the Losers get out of Los Angeles.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie stared at Danny from across the table. The male holding the diamond in one hand with a smile on his face. Richie didn’t know what to say to him or what to even do. His team were getting the last of their things and waiting on him. Eddie having gone to his place as well to get his last two bags. After he was done here he’d be getting rid of his cell phone and using the new one. Richie wasn’t scared of leaving Los Angeles. He wasn’t scared of pissing Danny off.</p><p> </p><p>He was scared of his friends getting hurt.</p><p> </p><p>“Nicely done. Any hiccups?”</p><p> </p><p>“No sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fantastic.” Danny said, “You won’t be getting your next assignment for a few more days. Just rest up and we’ll go from there. Are you alright? You seem very quiet.”</p><p> </p><p>“I figured after our last meeting you’d prefer me this way.” Richie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, it’s preferable yes but not you. I’m sorry about our last meeting I was disappointed. There was a lot of information in that notebook that we could’ve used.”</p><p> </p><p>“Would any of it have led us to Patrick?”</p><p> </p><p>“You need to let that go.” Danny told him exasperated, “You’re so focused on your hatred of him that it’s messing with your missions.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s almost like he tortured and raped me. Then shot the love of my life out of a building. It won’t get any better either because he’s going to end up killing my friends if I don’t hit at him first.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny seemed to think about that before sighing.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t fund for you to get your revenge on him, Richie. It’ll be better for you to just internalize it and always remember to be on your toes.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie wanted to say something to him but held the urge in. He hated the male so much in that moment. That wasn’t the way to deal with trauma according to all the therapist appointments he’d been to.</p><p> </p><p>“So we have a few days off?” Richie asked, seeing Danny nod before he stood up, “Awesome, I’ll see you in a few days.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>He resisted the urge to sigh and turned around.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir?”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you think that I don’t care about the Patrick situation but I do. I just want you to move past it. Even if you killed him what would it do? It won’t make you feel better.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you want the best for me but this is something I want. I’m not going to let it go, Danny. I don’t feel safe with him still breathing.”</p><p> </p><p>“MATURIN will protect you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hope so.” Richie said, “But I have to go. I have a date with Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s something else I wanted to discuss.” Danny said, as Richie stared at him.</p><p> </p><p>“What about it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just feel like it’s a bad idea. You’re setting both of yourselves up for failure. After what Patrick did do you really feel like you could give Eddie the kind of relationship he deserves? You’ll always have a Patrick sized bag in your life. Do you really think that Eddie deserves that at all?” Danny asked, frowning, “If you really love him you’d let him go. Let him be with someone that’ll be able to give him everything he needs.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just stared at Danny; feeling his entire body go cold. He had no words to say to that.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t mean to be cruel, Richie. It’s just...trauma like that never goes away. There will always be nightmares and flashbacks in your life of what happened. And it isn’t really fair to him to make him deal with it.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt his eyes burn but wanted to ignore what the man was saying but he couldn’t. Because there was truth in what he was saying. There was honesty in his voice that Richie couldn’t not hear. He didn’t know what to say to him as Danny stood up and put a hand on his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you owe it to him as his best friend to let him live a happy life instead of tying him down to someone who is traumatized?” Danny said, “Just food for thought. I want what’s best for you Richie. And isn’t it better for you to end things before you get your heart broken? Because eventually there will be someone else that catches Eddie’s eye and he’ll be less troublesome than you and less traumatic. More handsome and skinnier, more fit. He’ll be better mannered and more respectful. Just think about it. Have a wonderful date though.”</p><p> </p><p>Danny left him in the conference room. Richie staring after him with hurt showing in his eyes. He had never thought about any of that before. Would it be easier on them all if Eddie could be with someone who wouldn’t have so much baggage?</p><p> </p><p>Staring at the floor as he felt tears well up. Going and sitting in one of the chairs. Putting his head in his hands with a sniffle.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before from his parents. Went had spent so much time telling him to give up on Eddie. That his best friend dserved more than a screw up for a boyfriend. Maggie had told him more than once that he was gaining weight. Standing up and looking at himself in the glass with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>Did he always look like this?</p><p> </p><p>So big?</p><p> </p><p>His hair looking like a mess on his head?</p><p> </p><p>Tearing his eyes away as he swallowed hard.</p><p> </p><p>Richie left the conference room slowly as he let Danny’s words toss around his head.</p><p> </p><p>Hitting the elevator button before hearing his name. Turning and seeing his father coming towards him. Richie closed his eyes and took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you need, Went?”</p><p> </p><p>“I saw the mission was a success.” Went said, “I wanted to run something past you.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Your mother wanted to do a family dinner tonight. Just the three of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t, I have plans with Eddie.” Richie told him, “I’m not rescheduling with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well you haven’t had dinner with us in a while.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at his father for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>just</em> got back from Germany. I’m jet-lagged all to hell and my boyfriend wants to treat me to some pasta.” Richie said, “Maybe another time-”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need pasta. You should be eating salads, Richard. We have an image to uphold. We can’t look like...well...like you do right now.” Went sighed, “You need to start thinking of others before yourself. We didn’t raise you to be so damn selfish.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie didn’t know what to say to him besides shaking his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going on my date and then I’m going to crash for two days. I’ll see you when I wake up from my food coma.” Richie said, turning and getting on the elevator.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing Connor Bowers on the elevator made him want to scream. Ignoring the urge as he got on and leaned against the opposite wall. Hitting the floor he needed before looking away from the male.</p><p> </p><p>“I see you’re back from Germany.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to Connor who smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Danny let Ace know that he can’t kick me off his team. He wasn’t very happy about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not shocked by that.” Richie said, rolling his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you always have to be such an asshole? I’m not my fucking cousin.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you really think I trust you? It’s funny that FLAGG operatives showed up in Germany. It’s funny that they showed up in New York. Do you know anything about that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t typically believe in coincidences but that’s just...more than a chance thing.” Richie said, looking him over, “But if the shoe fits I guess you’re stuck as Cinderella.”</p><p> </p><p>“I haven’t spoken to my cousin in years.”</p><p> </p><p>“God I doubt that.” Richie said, as the elevator finally got to the lobby floor, “But have fun convincing literally anyone else of that.”</p><p> </p><p>He walked off the elevator with Connor following closely after him.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, I’m trying to have a reasonable conversation with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I don’t have to listen to it, asshole. I’m late enough as it is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine asshole.” Connor snapped, as Richie made it to his bike, “I thought maybe Patrick would have fucked you up enough for you to not be such a dick to the people on the same team as you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at the male as he walked off. Shaking his head as he shoved his helmet on and got on his bike.</p><p> </p><p>Looking at his new phone when a message from Eddie lit up the screen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hey, we’re going to the airfield. Just waiting on you, Chee.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Letting Eddie know he was on the way before sliding it in his pocket. Starting to drive to the airfield with a smile on his face. This was going to go well. He had to believe that as he slowed to a stop in the street at a red light. Taking his MATURIN phone out and tossing it in a sewer. Let them track his phone while it traveled down the sewer.</p><p> </p><p>Speeding down the street when the light turned green. While he didn’t like Pennsylvania he was looking forward to the change of scenery. Leaving his family behind and their company of assholes.</p><p> </p><p>Although his mind kept going back to what Danny had said and what he’d seen in the mirror. Shaking his head as if he could dislodge the thought from his mind.</p><p> </p><p>Turning onto the road leading to the airfield where the liner was waiting for them. Seeing Eddie pacing made him smile.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You’re holding him back.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Slowing as Eddie noticed him with a large grin.</p><p> </p><p>“About time.” Eddie laughed, “What took so long?”</p><p> </p><p>“Danny wanted to talk.” Richie said, as they walked his bike up into the liner.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling his helmet off and setting it on the bike. He frowned at Eddie who looked curious.</p><p> </p><p>“What’d he say?”</p><p> </p><p>“Doesn’t matter.” Richie told him, “We’re leaving right now so that’s all that does matter.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right, we’re leaving and not going back.” Eddie said, taking Richie’s hands.</p><p> </p><p>He ignored the urge to pull his hands away from Eddie. Wondering again if he deserved better than that. Shutting his eyes and wondering when Eddie was going to wise up and leave him. Danny wasn’t wrong in that he had a lot of baggage now because of Patrick. And Eddie did deserve sommeone that wasn’t going to have nightmares and flashbacks whenever things got too tough.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee...what’s wrong?” Eddie asked, concerned.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, I’m just exhausted. I feel like we just got off a plane.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well come on, you can lay down in a few of the seats. Or, you can lay down in the air mattress that I set up.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—my nightmares might—”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care. Come on, you’re dead on your feet, Rich.” Eddie said, pulling him through the rest of their stuff. The vehicles and bags that were taking up the back of the liner.</p><p> </p><p>Richie yawned without being able to stop it.</p><p> </p><p>“Other than that how did the debrief go?”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” Richie said, “He didn’t suspect anything at all.”</p><p> </p><p>Laying down on the airbed with Eddie who covered them up with a blanket. Richie pulling him close as he breathed in Eddie’s scent. Trying to let himself calm down as he listened to the younger male talk.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck Danny Torrance. Fuck MATURIN. The only good thing that’s happened because of MATURIN is that we met the right people to form our own company. Where we’ll do things the way we want to.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be nice.” Richie muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“It will. It’ll be nice to take a vacation where we aren’t going to get our phones blown up all the time about work. We can build a good foundation of a business then do missions after that.”</p><p> </p><p>“And look for Patrick.”</p><p> </p><p>“And look for Patrick.” Eddie agreed, “So we can kill him.l So that way maybe you won’t be so scared to go to sleep anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie didn’t say anything as Eddie ran his fingers through his hair. Shutting his eyes as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I just hope I’m worthy enough for you, Eds.” Richie said, as he fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at the male’s face with a frown. Wondering why he would say that in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>Sliding off the airbed slowly when he knew for sure that Richie was asleep. Heading up front to where the others were.</p><p> </p><p>Stan smiled at him at first before noticing the look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie was late. Debriefing should’ve taken all of two minutes and yet he was forty-five minutes late. He said that Danny spoke with him after the debrief. But he wouldn’t say about what.And that bugs me a lot more than it should.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you ask?”</p><p> </p><p>“He said it didn’t matter.” Eddie said, “But then right before he went to sleep Stan...he said..Stan, he said he hoped he would be worthy enough for me.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie shook his head as Stan stared at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know why he would say that. I thought things were going fine...that everything was okay. And now I’m not even sure what’s going on in his head.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, he’s been through a great trauma. There’s no telling what could be going on in his mind. I mean, Eds, you have to think about what he went through with Patrick. He had literally every choice taken from him. That’s been his whole life. Choice and decision taken from him without any say in it. The only thing he’s decided from himself is this relationship with you. And after the trauma and the rape...he probably is more scared of fucking this relationship up than you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t think about it like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“You wouldn’t because we’ve all been trying to ignore the fact that he was raped. We’ve focused on the torture and that’s it. But we shouldn’t because he went through something horrible. And that’s something we have to face. Richie from four years ago wouldn’t have tortured someone for information. Patrick broke something in him. And that’s something we may never fix.” Stan said softly, “And we have to deal with that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have been. It’s part of why I told him I wanted to go slow.” Eddie said, “I told him it was because sex scares me but it isn’t. It’s because I don’t want to push him more than he can handle. And he always worries about what I want and I just didn’t...I didn’t want to pressure him.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, you lied to him in order to make sure he wouldn’t fuck his progress up?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not proud of lying to him Stan.” Eddie said softly, “I just don’t want to see him have another flashback. That was...terrifying to see.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s still a lie, Eddie.” Stan said, “One of the things Richie loves most about your friendship is that you guys don’t...lie to each other.”</p><p> </p><p>“He lied to me about the Roland stuff.” Eddie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Even you admitted he told you the truth not even five minutes later. He lies to us out of necessity. What were we going to do if we knew he was being abused when we were growing up?”</p><p> </p><p>“The same thing we did with Bev. Call Child Protection Services and get her to her aunt. He could’ve lived with one of us-”</p><p> </p><p>“The nearest family member he had was Maggie’s sister. And that would have taken him to Indiana.” Stan said, smiling at Eddie, “He didn’t want to leave us so he didn’t tell us. You forget at the end of the day with Bev, Richie was the one to make the call. Not any one of us because he figured it out days before we did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because he knew the signs! Because it was happening to him!”</p><p> </p><p>“At the end of the day, he made his decisions. Do we like it, hell no, but it’s in the past. This is the present and you lying to your boyfriend about your needs—he finds it out from someone else it’ll make him feel like shit. You know he takes shit to heart more than any of us.” Stan said, “It’ll make him feel like you can’t be honest with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan...his nightmares-”</p><p> </p><p>“Will happen. They’ll go away like they did last time. It’s a sign of progress but it just happened again recently. He’s going to need us to be honest with him, Eddie. You’re his boyfriend and after hearing him wax poetry about you for a decade, I need you to remember that. He’s loved you for a decade, unfaltering, and has done everything he can for you. He’s been there when you’ve cried about boyfriends and break ups even though it hurt him. He made sure to focus on your training so Went wouldn’t say you were dragging the team down. He dedicated how many hours to teaching you your signature move because you’re tiny and spry enough to do it. It’s just something to think about. He has been honest with you even when you didn’t want to hear it. Give him the same courtesy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, Stan. I just...I’m worried about him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then tell him that. Tell him you’re concerned about him. That you don’t want to push him and above all tell him what you want and need. He won’t get mad at you, Kaspbrak. He’ll hate that you lied but he’ll understand it, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I’ll talk to him when he wakes up.” Eddie sighed, “Do you think...that Danny talked to him about our relationship?”</p><p> </p><p>Stan frowned, “It isn’t his place to talk to Richie about any relationship he has. So I would hope not?”</p><p> </p><p>“But.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I also didn’t expect Danny to be that furious with us about the notebook.” Stan said, “And he did try to make comments about it during that so...maybe?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie frowned at him, “I really want to know what was said.”</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately I don’t think-”</p><p> </p><p>“We could.” Ben said, leaning against the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>“How long have you been standing there?” Stan asked, “And what do you mean we could?”</p><p> </p><p>“Since Eddie asked if you thought Danny bashed their relationship. And it means that I put up fingerprint cameras in MATURIN headquarters so we can see if they ever make progress on our location. It’s also why I’ve already spoken to the sponsors about having a second building armed on standby just in case. That location is in St. Louis.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fingerprint cameras?”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re a new toy that Carrie made. They’re small enough that the human eye won’t see them. They also don’t pick up on detectors. I know because I helped her perfect them.” Ben said, “I wanted to make sure we had a contingency plan so we wouldn’t be shocked if they found us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Holy hell, Ben.” Stan said breathlessly, “So what did he say to Richie?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben licked his lips, “Nothing that Richie won’t take to heart. If I show you then you can’t let Richie know that you know. While I hate Danny, it is a breech of privacy.”</p><p> </p><p>“We won’t tell him.” Eddie said, “Just...fuck Ben, you are thinking of literally everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m trying to. I’d like to keep my family together.” Ben said, arms crossed, “Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie made sure to brace himself for a terrible conversation. What he watched however, wasn’t what he had thought would be spoken about. Seeing Richie’s face fall and a mask go up immediately made his stomach drop and his heart constrict.</p><p> </p><p>And he made the decision there and then that MATURIN was going to go out of business. Danny Torrance could go fuck himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Losers scope out their new headquarters. Richie and Beverly have a heart to heart.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Philadelphia was different to Richie for so many reasons. First his parents weren’t here and neither was Danny. The second was that their headquarters was actually pretty bad ass. In order to enter the building you had to have a blood sample taken as well as a fingerprint and eye scan. It was as secure as you could get. The sponsors had gone out of their way to make sure the teams had what they wanted.</p><p> </p><p>The training floors were on the lower levels with the recruit rooms being right above them. Above those were desk jobs and training floors for active teams. Then conference rooms and finally what Richie was looking at right now.</p><p> </p><p>Holding cells for anyone they brought in. Something MATURIN didn’t have in any of their buildings. Fortified steel that was electrified, not that their captives would know that.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think you and Jonesy outdid yourselves, Gordie.” Richie said, “This is perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>“Awesome! I’ll let Adrian and Don know.” Gordie said, leaving him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked around the cell and went to one of the chains. Lifting and pulling on it before smiling as he dropped it. They could do bounty hunting on top of their other jobs. Doing a little bit more than MATURIN in a lot of different ways.</p><p> </p><p>There were no windows in the room, no seams or anything to even think about getting out. Richie appreciated the way this room was constructed. There were fourteen cells on this floor and Richie was glad to have each and every one of them.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you thinking about?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to Beverly with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“How we can do bounty hunting now as well because of these cells. That’ll be excellent for us and we’d be providing a service MATURIN and FLAGG don’t.” Richie said, “We can also international criminals as well. Which again, is a service the other two assholes don’t. It’s all about being the first to give a service. If we do that and do it well then Neibolt will be on the map.”</p><p> </p><p>“And knowing us and the teams we have it’ll be easy.” Beverly smiled, “So...have you heard from anyone?”</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re asking if I’ve heard from my parents the answer is yes. They’ve emailed me about fifty times. The encryption we’re using is incredible though because they can’t trace us.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are they emailing you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well they haven’t seen their son in a week. They went by all of our apartments and know we left. The last one wants to know where we’re at and why our phones aren’t working.” Richie said, “Danny found our phones after tracking them. And he is furious because of Ka-Tet, SBM and Dreamcatcher being gone. The Party being gone also was noticed and was emailed about a lot. So, that was fun to read.”</p><p> </p><p>“How much longer until we’re up and doing business?”</p><p> </p><p>“Two weeks.” Richie said, “Carrie wants to make some new toys and gadgets for us on new missions and needs the time to make sure they work. We have to do everything we can to give ourselves the advantage over MATURIN and FLAGG. Adrian and Don want to meet with me and Eddie in about ten minutes. So I’ll see you guys tonight at Woody’s.”</p><p> </p><p>“Have fun!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie got off on the twenty-fifth floor; seeing Eddie who was talking to Adrian and Don casually. Smiling at the three of them when he finally got up to them.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took his hand when he got next to him with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“So what do you think?” Adrian asked.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s perfect just like the apartments are. We can do bounty hunting gigs is what I was telling Beverly. International holding as well.”</p><p> </p><p>Adrian smiled widely, “I had the same thought!”</p><p> </p><p>“Great minds.” Don said, “Any regrets yet?”</p><p> </p><p>“None.” Richie said, at the same time as Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, thank you for trusting us enough to do this.” Adrian told him, “I know you talked to Danny about it and he didn’t agree.”</p><p> </p><p>“You and Don should have been team handlers two years ago. You know what you’re doing whether or not Danny wanted to admit it. It’s past time that it happened.”</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed.” Eddie said, smiling, “And we know that we can trust everyone that came with us.”</p><p> </p><p>“That is a bonus.” Adrian laughed, “So we actually have a lot more missions than we thought we’d originally get. So we’re going to sort them for what each team is best at. However, you guys won’t be leaving for another week.”</p><p> </p><p>“How many missions will we have consecutively?”</p><p> </p><p>“Fourteen.” Don winced, “Which is-”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh that’s fine. We’ve done twenty-nine missions in a row with no breaks. How are we on recruits?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well we’re recruiting Georgie. And we’ve got about two dozen others that we’re tapping to start as soon as they’ve graduated high school in a few months. We’ve just got to look at other people in college. See if they’d rather come work here than stay there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do it. We can have The Party start their training.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh well...we got trainers for that. The sponsors actually found some retired CIA and FBI workers to come on. They’ve signed NDA’s and are officially employed here. So it’ll end up being really good for us, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled, “No that’s great! We had to rely on Went, Andy, Stephen and Camren to train us. And they didn’t do it that well. We had to train ourselves more than they did.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, what do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think you guys have outdone yourselves.” Richie said, “And it’ll be nice that we don’t have to bench The Party like we originally thought. Mike’s been begging to be put out in the field.”</p><p> </p><p>“And he’ll be getting his first mission the same day as you guys. They’ll be doing a retrieval mission of an artifact that was stolen two weeks ago.” Adrian said, “Something nice and easy for them to get their feet wet. Make sure they have all the jargon down.”</p><p> </p><p>“I appreciate that.” Richie told him, “I’m scared that when he gets the more intense missions it’ll—well..he’ll freeze like we did.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you’re scared he’s going to be human?” Don asked, “Richie, that’s a good thing. It’s worrisome if they do it without blinking.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I’m just concerned is all. I don’t want to lose my cousin.”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you think Bill’s going to feel when Georgie is ready for the field?” Adrian questioned.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that’s not going to be a fun day.” Richie said, “So what’s our mission going to be?”</p><p> </p><p>“Bounty hunting gig.” Adrian grinned, “We have to test it as soon as possible so that way we can market it with potential clients. We get the word out that we do bounty hunting and that’s less business for MATURIN and FLAGG.”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re going to flip shit when they realize we started an opposing business.”</p><p> </p><p>“And that’ll be the day we go to Woody’s and get so shitfaced that we don’t even remember our own names.” Richie said, grinning, “So was that all you guys needed?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that and we wanted to congratulate you two on your relationship!” Adrian said happily, “As someone that has seen you two pine for each other, I’m happy you guys are together now. Take it from me, it’s awesome to have your boyfriend be your best friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Don kissed his cheek as Adrian smiled hard.</p><p> </p><p>“I couldn’t agree more.” Eddie said, squeezing Richie’s hand, “We should go on a double date at some point.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh I agree.” Adrian said, “But we’ll figure that out later. I know you have plans with the Losers Club at Woody’s. So have fun and we’ll see you in a week!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good, you guys have fun too! Don’t work too hard.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie and Eddie going towards the elevator. Hitting the button as Eddie leaned towards Richie with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Would you be willing to skip hanging at Woody’s? Come back to my apartment?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We can.” Richie said, “I just need to send a quick text to Beverly.”</p><p> </p><p>Pulling his phone out and texting Beverly. Eddie watched him before the elevator dinged open.</p><p> </p><p>“So what do you want to do?”</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to talk.” Eddie said, as they stepped on.</p><p> </p><p>Richie froze at those words before looking at Beverly’s reply.</p><p> </p><p>“I have to drop her off at Woody’s because I was her ride but then I can drive over.” Richie said trying to keep his voice level.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay that works. I can order us some food.” Eddie said, “Italian or Indian?”</p><p> </p><p>“Indian.” Richie said, “You know my order.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want a mango lassi?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah sounds good.” Richie told him, trying to stave the panic attack he was going to end up having.</p><p> </p><p>“So I’ll see you in what? Half an hour?”</p><p> </p><p>“Forty five depending on traffic.” Richie said, as the elevator opened.</p><p> </p><p>He moved out with Eddie; heading towards his car as Eddie headed to his own.</p><p> </p><p>Richie sitting in the driver’s seat for a moment as he thought about it. Eddie had taken Richie’s hand and even suggested the double date. Then again, maybe it was because they’d been congratulated?</p><p> </p><p>Frowning as he rubbed his face as he thought about what Danny had said. Closing his eyes as he leaned on the steering wheel. Wondering if maybe it was his baggage or the fact that he was getting rounder. He didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to dread the fact that Eddie wanted to talk. Wondering what he did wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Sorry, I got caught up with—are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie wants to talk.” Richie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh Richie, okay just because someone wants to talk doesn’t mean it’s bad.” Beverly told him, “It could be that he wants to talk about the missions that we have coming up. I know it’s a scary thought though, Rich.”</p><p> </p><p>“Or maybe he doesn’t want to date an elephant with baggage.”</p><p> </p><p>Ignoring Beverly’s gasp as she turned to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie! What the hell? Eddie loves you regardless of your baggage. And why the fuck are you calling yourself an elephant?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sniffled, “I’m just stating the truth.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa! What truth? Rich, why do you think you’re an elephant?” Beverly asked, concerned.</p><p> </p><p>Richie just shook his head; flinching when Beverly jerked his head to face her. The fury on her face was terrifying to Richie as he moved away from her.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you think that?” Beverly asked, “I won’t ask again.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just...growing up I heard a lot of things Bev.” Richie said, trying to brush it off, “Went and Maggie would make comments.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, but that was when you were growing up. This is now.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was just a stupid comment.”</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t stupid to me. Richie, you’re not fat for crying out loud. You’re skinny and fit.” Beverly told him, “You work out more than Ben and that’s where he spends a lot of free time when he isn’t helping Carrie create new things in the lab, with me or on mission with us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just...don’t like how I look.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well I <em>love</em> how you look. Your hair is fucking adorable when it’s all curly. Especially when you got bed head.” Beverly said, smiling at him, “And you’re tall and even when you wear your glasses you’re attractive. Trust me, Rich, there is nothing wrong with how you look. And even, if for some reason there was, Eddie would love you all the same. He’s been in love with you for years.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about my baggage?”</p><p> </p><p>“Everyone has baggage, honey.” Beverly said, “My baggage is my dad. Eddie’s is Sonia fucking Kaspbrak.”</p><p> </p><p>“I-”</p><p> </p><p>“What I’m saying is everyone has their baggage. But you know what helps? Talking about it with the person that loves you. Ben knows everything that happened with my dad. You know everything that Sonia did to Eddie. All the pills and the shots and the fucking placebos she forced him on. You and Stan talked to him for <em>hours</em> about how half the pills he was taking weren’t real. And do you remember what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“He stood up to her and stopped taking them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly. And we found out that yes, he’s an asthmatic even if that’s gotten light years better now. And he’s allergic to cashews and turmeric. And while he isn’t lactose intolerant, too much dairy does make him gassy as fuck. But you helped him unpack that baggage and deal. He trusted you enough to let you help him. Give him that same courtesy. Yes, your baggage is a little heavier but he’ll still help you unpack it and put it up. How do you expect to get better if you’re always scared of Patrick? Just because we kill him doesn’t just flip a switch where you’re better. It’s something you have to work at. Trust me on that, it took me forever to get comfortable with Ben touching me in any kind of sexual way. But you know what, Richie? Something that I had to be told over and over? You deserve to be happy just like everyone else. Just let yourself have this.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just stared at the red head who smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Your so called parents, Danny, Patrick...don’t listen to them. Listen to the people who have been there for you since day one. Listen to your Losers who have your back and love you. Any one of us would take a bullet for you and vice versa. Listen to the family we made, not the ones that worry about an image or a boss who thinks about money first. And sure as fuck don’t listen to that psychopath who hurt you. <em>We</em> love <em>you</em>, Richie Tozier. You’re our Trashmouth, our best friend and our wing man. You’re who I go to see if I’ve had a terrible day because you spend the rest of that day trying to get me to smile. Stan goes to you when he’s having issues with Bill and Mike. Ben is your work out buddy that always depends on you listening to him when he has ideas but isn’t sure if they’re good. We all help each other and build one another up. <em>That</em> is a family. We love each other through the good times and the hard times. We sure as fuck help one another through the hard times. Never <em>ever</em> listen to someone who doesn’t love you.”</p><p> </p><p>He felt tears fall before he could stop them with a strangled sob as Beverly pulled him into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie loves you, never ever doubt that. This relationship is all he’s talked to us about in weeks. He <em>wants</em> this, Rich...he wants <em>you</em>. He’s always wanted you. He’ll always want you. You’re the sun, moon and stars to him just like he is to you. Don’t doubt that for a moment, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Fucking Christ, Bev...I wasn’t prepared for that.” Richie said, “I just don’t want to be a burden.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well fuck that. You have and will never be a burden, Richie. That would require us to hate you and none of us do.” Beverly said, bumping their foreheads together, “If you ever want to talk about your baggage I’ll listen. I don’t promise to not get violent with a pillow while you do but I’ll listen. I’ll give you advice if I can. But promise me….<em>swear</em> to me that you believe me when I tell you that you’re beautiful the way you are. That there is no amount of baggage that will make us stop loving you. That even if you looked like a melting tub of lard that we wouldn’t love you just the same as if you looked like Adonis. What you look like and how you feel doesn’t change how much we all love you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sniffled as Beverly wiped his tears away before wiping her own.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, I need alcohol. That got a little too real for me.” Beverly told him, “And you have a boyfriend to listen to and talk to. Seriously Richie, talk to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will.” Richie swore, “I promise, Bev.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good, now get me to Woody’s I’m really fucking late.” Beverly said, moving away and checking her makeup in the mirror, “Are you going to be okay, Richie?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think so. I just...always have a voice that sounds distinctly like Maggie in my head whenever I try to eat like...anything.” Richie said, as Beverly frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“God I’d love to just give her a one tap between the eyes.” Beverly said, “She’s the worst at being a mother.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well she’s the only one I’ve got.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well it’s a good thing you don’t need her when you have us.” Beverly told him, as he started to drive, “Fuck Wentworth and Maggie Tozier. They don’t deserve to have you, Richie. They didn’t treat you right and therefore they lost you. Leaving Los Angeles is going to be amazing for us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know...it’s just been a big change.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah and change is really scary but you have us to help you.” Beverly smiled, “Now, onto a new subject, what do we think of Mike and Will moving in together so soon?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, they’ve known each other since they were five. I think it’ll be really good for them. Mike told me they snuck into each other’s rooms all the time to just sleep together in the same bed. And that got worse after Will went missing for a week.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you ever get told what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, to my knowledge Will’s never said anything about it to anyone.” Richie shrugged, “But to be fair to them, Lucas and Dustin are also moving in.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah until they hear them having sex once then they’ll run for those precious hills.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed and covered his mouth, “Jesus Bev, that’s my cousin you’re talking about.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just saying! In Los Angeles they all lived in separate apartments.”</p><p> </p><p>“So did you and Ben.” Richie said, as she blushed, “I’m just saying, everyone wants to make changes from Los Angeles.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, with that in mind. Why didn’t you and Eddie move in together?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s all me. My nightmares are getting bad again and I didn’t want to keep him up.” Richie told her, as she frowned, “Fun fact, I got Gordie to give my bedroom the same treatment as I had in Los Angeles where it’s soundproof. That way I don’t wake anyone up with my screams.”</p><p> </p><p>“Rich-”</p><p> </p><p>“They’ll go away after a little while. They did last time. It’s fine!” Richie said quickly, “Trust me, it’s fine. I just don’t want Eddie having to deal with it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Understandably but it’s still...you take on too much you know that right?”</p><p> </p><p>“I know but this is—it’s how I was raised.” Richie sighed, “Maggie and Went told me to not show weakness and vulnerability. If you do then you get others hurt not just yourself. They used my weaknesses against me all the time. Hell even Patrick did when he shot Eddie out of that fucking window. And nightmares—emotions aren’t to be displayed but internalized. If you don’t you’ll get yourself killed.”</p><p> </p><p>“And again I state, fuck Wentworth and Maggie Tozier.” Beverly said hatefully, “Fuck them so fucking hard! Emotions make us fucking human. Weaknesses make us mortal. Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I know Beverly. But it’s like—bad habits are hard to break. It’ll take time for me to realize that.”</p><p> </p><p>“If I had a time machine I’d just shoot your parents when we all turned eighteen.” Beverly said, crossing her arms, “I can’t imagine abusing my child and just—neglecting them like they did you. Skewing how you view things just to fit their agenda.”</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me, I won’t grow up to be like my parents. If Eddie wants kids then we’ll take desk jobs gladly.” Richie told her, “Or do something else entirely, I don’t care. I just know that I want him and you guys in my life always.”</p><p> </p><p>“Same here, Trashmouth.” Beverly smiled at him, as he smiled back, “And don’t think I haven’t noticed the nicknames coming back. Ever since we told you that we were leaving MATURIN.”</p><p> </p><p>“As stupid as it is, it feels like for the first time I can breathe and be myself and not get beaten within an inch of my life for it.” Richie told her honestly, “I’ve never felt like that. My parents fixed my smart mouth and jokes really quick.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hate them.” Beverly said, as he pulled up to the club, “Have fun with Eddie. Text me if you need anything Richie, at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will. Tell the others we’re sorry to ditch.”</p><p> </p><p>“Duh.” Beverly laughed, “See you tomorrow for breakfast!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just nodded his head before he pulled away. While he was still scared about the conversation with Eddie, the talk with Beverly made him feel a little less scared. Because while he could say a lot of things about The Losers, he couldn’t and wouldn’t say they’d ever lie to him about how they felt about each other. Yes, they would lie about little things and sometimes big things if they thought it would negatively impact the others. But this? He knew Beverly was telling the truth.</p><p> </p><p>And it made him happy that they’d left Los Angeles.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie and Eddie are honest with one another.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie used his key to Eddie’s apartment. Entering it and taking it in for the second time. Looking around and seeing his boyfriend on the couch. Pausing the television when Richie came in. Eddie’s smile always had the same effect on Richie. It always made him feel like they could fight anything together and beat it.</p><p> </p><p>“Finally, what took so long?”</p><p> </p><p>“Beverly and I talked...a lot.” Richie said, “But you first, you said you wanted to talk?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I did. I haven’t been one hundred percent honest with you.” Eddie said, as he motioned for Richie to come sit next to him, “And I want to be honest with you all the time, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“So in New York I told you I wanted to take things slow because I was nervous about sex and that isn’t really...how I feel. I said it because I didn’t want to pressure you into wanting sex.” Eddie said, seeing Richie frown, “You’ve been through so much and I just didn’t want to add anything onto your plate. I know how I feel about you. There’s no doubt in my mind how much I love you. I just...don’t know what you want. And I know you want to know what I want. Because communication is huge in a relationship.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked down as he chewed on his bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p>“And Richie, I just—you’re incredible and I’m kind of taken back sometimes that you want to be with me. You could have anyone-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop.” Richie said, as Eddie’s mouth shut, “I’m not some great catch, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, you’re it for me. There’s no one else I want. It’s always been you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him for a moment before taking a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I feel the same. You’re it for me, Eds. I don’t want anyone else. That being said I need to be honest with you too. I want to tell you the truth about my childhood with Maggie and Went and...all the shit with Patrick.” Richie told him slowly, “I just...don’t know where to start.”</p><p> </p><p>“The beginning is usually best.” Eddie teased, as Richie laughed roughly.</p><p> </p><p>“You know that my parents have never been the best to me. I’ve told you about all the training they put me through. How you guys used to make fun of the obstacle course in the backyard. I had to do that every single morning. If I didn’t it was just another punishment. But those punishments...I’ve never actually told you about. It all depended on their moods you know?” Richie laughed, as Eddie sat more comfortably realizing this was going to be a deeper conversation, “It changed depending on that. Um...there were some days I’d just get the shit kicked out of me. They said it was fight training. That I had to get used to it because I was going to eventually do it. And then...sorry...this part is a little harder to admit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Take your time.” Eddie said gently.</p><p> </p><p>Richie started fiddling with his fingers. Trying to think of the right words to say but knowing nothing would make Eddie not angry.</p><p> </p><p>“Maggie’s always been on me about my appearance. Both of them tackled the issue of my mouth and jokes. You don’t typically want to be the joker of the group once you’ve had your arm broken in five places. But Maggie...I’ve always had to look a certain way. I can’t be too big and she let me know when that was. If I got too mouthy or too big for their liking...do you remember me telling you about the week I was in the basement?” Richie asked, as Eddie nodded, “That was actually one of their favorite punishments. The weekends I told you guys I was grounded. I was locked in the basement. No food, people...sunlight...light...nothing. I think those were the worst punishments. Because I could hear you guys come over and ask if I could come out and I couldn’t say anything. The punishment could and would be worse. Maggie would restrict my eating if she felt I was getting too big. And fuck me, Eds...I started seeing it. The weight she was talking about and the way I was muffin topping.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Just...please...let me get through this.” Richie cut him off, seeing Eddie looking upset as he held back tears, “That was life from the age of nine to eighteen. When I was told you guys were tapped for MATURIN I remember being so happy because I wouldn’t be alone. Then being so scared because I didn’t know if they’d treat you the same as me. They didn’t, obviously, but it was still a real fear. Instead...when one of you guys messed up I would be the one to get the punishment. You see, Danny figured that I’d function best on a team with my best friends. He was right, obviously, but there were some days you guys didn’t want to train. So that translated as laziness to Went and Maggie which meant me having to hear and deal with it. When we got through training...one of the happiest days of my life. Getting my own apartment and away from their punishments. Yes, they still happened but not as often and not as intense.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie licked his lips before taking a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Then the Patrick situation happened. I told you to get going and I got attacked from behind. The first time was by far the easiest. Patrick was still new to torturing. But he still put me through hell. He put me in...this box that was modified to get hot. He always cranked it to above a hundred for about two minutes at a time. Then he’d dunk me in a water tank. Most of the time I was hanging from a chain in the middle of the room. He cut me deep enough to leave scars. He knew I would be rescued at some point.” Richie said, his voice going flat and emotionless, “When he...when he raped me it just...the first time he did was by far the worst. I just remember feeling so...dirty and broken. Who would want used goods is what he always told me. For Patrick it was about hurting me and getting his own pleasure but he wanted me to remember it. But then he left and you guys found me. I tried to not let you guys notice that I hated the thought of anyone touching me. When Maggie and Went found out I was...lectured about my failure. They shoved me in therapy so no one would know that a Tozier had gotten...the jump on them. Therapy helped...the job helped a lot more. You guys helped better than either of them. And I forgot for a time what had happened.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie had started to scratch up one of his cuticles. Eddie taking his hands in his and kissing them both hard. Looking up at him with teary eyes; the smaller male looked heart broken as Richie went through the motions. Unpack his baggage so that Eddie could help him put it away...that’s what Beverly had said and she had never steered Richie wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this too much?” Richie asked, his voice small, “I can stop-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you dare.” Eddie told him gently, “Keep going.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. So for four years it was good. We all got into our groove. We made a name for ourselves and you and I kicked ass at leading the team. We became the faces of MATURIN. Maggie and Went were pissed about that being the former faces. I think in their heads they always thought they would be. The night of the party to announce it I was shoved down the stairs by Maggie. Broke my wrist, remember?”</p><p> </p><p>“That bitch.” Eddie hissed, “You said you had tripped.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was still trying to hide the abuse from you guys at that point. Not wanting you guys to know how bad it was being me. Then Patrick resurfaced and...well you know what happened up to the point of me trading myself from Roland. I thought I was going to die in there. He’d gotten better at torturing at that point. To the point where I wanted to bleed out just to stop him from touching me. Henry kept coming in to check on us and then he told Patrick that he was going to have to get rid of me….kill me. And there was this look in his eyes that I’d never seen before. Like he was losing his favorite toy. When he...raped me the first time it hurt worse than anything I could imagine. The last time I just...I played dead I guess? I tried not to respond, not to scream or give him any kind of...reaction. He didn’t like that...that’s when he choked me. If I wouldn’t respond then he’d make me pay for it.” Richie sighed and pulled his hands from Eddie’s to run through his hair, “I laid there when he poured gasoline everywhere. I didn’t want to survive Eddie. At that point I just wondered what the point was. Then I remembered you guys and I...I realized I couldn’t die in that warehouse. So I cut into my arm to get enough blood to lubricate the shackle so I could get my hand out. And I tried so hard to get out but I couldn’t and then there was so much smoke that I was choking on it. And I was so tired from the blood loss and the adrenaline wearing off that I just...collapsed until you came in to get me. I thought you were insane for doing it but you looked like an angel when you did. I remember that before losing consciousness.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie made a move like he wanted to hug Richie but stopped himself. No doubt scared that if he did Richie would stop.</p><p> </p><p>“When I woke up to my parents, the lecture started. How could I allow this to happen a second time? I wasn’t worthy of being on The Losers anymore because I was a failure. That you guys were disappointed in me and didn’t even want me on the team anymore. I remember believing them because I hated myself. It happening once was bad enough but twice? I was an embarrassment to not only my family but you guys. And that killed me on the inside.” Richie said, finally crying, “I have never wanted to let you guys down or embarrass you. I’ve never wanted to disappoint you and I could feel it in my chest that I had. It was what Maggie and Went had drilled into my head. And then you guys came in and it was like—I knew from just looking at you guys that they were lying through their fucking teeth. You were all so concerned for me. And then finding out that I was raped but I didn’t want you guys to treat me differently and you didn’t. And it blew my fucking mind that I had this support structure that wouldn’t buckle under the weight. You guys wanted all of us out of MATURIN because...I don’t even know why.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because working at MATURIN was killing you.” Eddie supplied, “The constant hovering of your parents and Danny was destroying you, Chee. You couldn’t see it but we could. Slowly but surely we were losing Richie Tozier, our Trashmouth and best friend from childhood because his parents were assholes.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled shakily, “Right before we left….Danny made a comment about our relationship. That you could do better than me that you would do better than me. You’d see someone skinnier, more fit and with less baggage and didn’t you deserve that? That I’d always have my nightmares and flashbacks and fuck Eddie, he’s right-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop.” Eddie said fiercely, finally moving.</p><p> </p><p>He straddled Richie’s lap and put his hands on either side of the older male’s head. Forcing the male to look at him as Eddie kissed him gently.</p><p> </p><p>“I am <em>so proud</em> of you for telling me everything. I can help you better with your nightmares and flashbacks because of it. I am in love with you Richard Tozier. I will love you through nightmares, flashbacks, night terrors, injuries, fights and death. There is nothing that you can do that will drive me away. Not even if you sneezed on every surface of this apartment. There is no one skinnier or fitter because there is you, Richie. You are so beyond gorgeous and perfect for me. There is no one who will bicker and fight with me like you do about the stupidest shit. You are mine, one hundred percent and I will not leave you. Even if you became what you fear the most, your parents. I’d still love you and stick with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sobbed as Eddie kissed his forehead. Trailing kisses along his face and leaning their foreheads together.</p><p> </p><p>“Even if you decided that you never wanted sex ever again I would stay with you. I’m with you for you, Richie, not sex. You’re perfect just the way you are. You’re skinny and hilarious and kind and amazing and patient. Never <em>ever</em> let anyone tell you differently. Just remember me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t deserve you.” Richie cried, “I don’t deserve anyone-”</p><p> </p><p>“That is your parents talking.” Eddie said fiercely, “Listen to me, Richie. You deserve the moon and the galaxy. You deserve me because you’re Richie and I’m Eddie. You’ve talked me through panic attacks and nightmares of my own. You know just how horrible my mother is and was. I judge you for nothing. I love you for everything. I take all of you, good times and bad and I love you. Listen to me, listen to the words coming out of my mouth Richie. There is nothing you can do to make me leave you.”</p><p> </p><p>“What if I hurt you-”</p><p> </p><p>“Not possible.” Eddie told him confidently, “Richie Tozier would never hurt Eddie Kaspbrak. That’s just a law of the universe. Richie Tozier would never hurt anyone he cares about. Just like I would never hurt you or anyone else I care about. I know you better than you know yourself. Just like you know me better than I do. There are just basic universal laws and those are four of them. The other is that I love you so much that it hurts to be away from you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie leaned into Eddie’s hands as the male smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you believe me?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes...I do.” Richie said softly, as Eddie smiled wider, “You know it’s the same for me right? All of what you just said.”</p><p> </p><p>“Duh.” Eddie laughed, “We’ve always been <em>RichieandEddie</em>. We’re always going to be. There is no me without you, Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>“God I fucking love you.” Richie whispered, kissing Eddie, “Sorry...I’m all snotty-”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie kissed him harder; ignoring the urge to back away. He wasn’t going to ruin this moment for anything. Swallowing the moan that Richie let out as slowly pulled back.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you feel better?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>Richie thought about it for a moment and realized that he did. There was no crippling anxiety of Eddie finding out...there was no weight on his shoulders that felt like it would crush him.</p><p> </p><p>“I do.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad. Now, you get to choose the entertainment. I’m going to grab the door.” Eddie said, as the doorbell rang.</p><p> </p><p>“I still don’t understand how you always know.” Richie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a Kaspbrak thing.” Eddie told him, answering the door to get their food.</p><p> </p><p>Putting their food and drinks on the coffee table before going to grab plates. Richie just sat and looked at the home screen of Netflix.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee? Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie put the remote down and ignored the food.</p><p> </p><p>“I just have—can I just...one more thing.” Richie said softly, “I just have to get it off my chest.”</p><p> </p><p>“Go for it!”</p><p> </p><p>“The reason I didn’t...confess to you for so long is because of Maggie and Went.” Richie told him, “I was originally going to tell you when we were fifteen. I’d carved our initials in the kissing bridge after we got into that rock fight with Winston and his gang of assholes. When I was rehearsing what I was going to say to you...Maggie overheard. She told me it was a bad idea. That you’d turn me down and then where would I be? She said that I needed to focus on my future career. She didn’t mind having a queer for a son but that I could do one night stands and it would be the same thing. So I just...I wanted you to know that I was going to tell you so much sooner but I just...I let her get into my head. Just like I always have. And it just fed what Danny said.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am putting cutting your parents brake lines onto my bucket list. Or maybe just slowly freezing them to death.” Eddie said calmly, as he started plating them food, “Again I say, fuck them. I’m glad we’re together, Richie. Now, would you like some naan?”</p><p> </p><p>“Garlic please.” Richie smiled, as Eddie tore some and laid it on the plate, “So none of that bothers you?”</p><p> </p><p>“No it doesn’t. Why would it? You’re still Richie Tozier, love of my life. We just have to help you through your trauma. You told me everything and now it’s time to heal.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie poked at his food when Eddie handed it to him with a frown. Seeing Eddie look at him curiously as he said the next thing on his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to tell the others. At least...not right now.” Richie said, “I know Stan knows about my nightmares but I just don’t feel comfortable with everyone knowing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then don’t tell them.” Eddie said simply, “I’m sure as hell not going to. This is your business and your trauma. You can tell whoever you want to.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled at him, “I was scared to tell you. I thought you’d look at me like I was broken.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not broken. If you were you would have given up and died long ago. You’re still the kickass, take charge Richie Tozier that I grew up with. You haven’t let anything change that.” Eddie said, “And honestly, I think it may have made you stronger.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what my therapist said.” Richie told him, “I just get scared that you won’t see me the same.”</p><p> </p><p>“That could never happen.” Eddie told him, “Now, stop thinking about negative things. What do you want to watch?”</p><p> </p><p>“Can we watch Scream 4?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course!” Eddie said, standing up and grabbing the dvd.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Richie told him, smiling, “You have no idea how much I love you. And how much I appreciate being able to tell you all of this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, we’re in a relationship and we’re best friends. You can literally tell me anything and I’ll listen to you. I’ll try to help where I can because you matter to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just smiled at him as they started to eat. Eddie would always have his back and he loved that about him. It didn’t matter what happened, Eddie would always be there for him.</p><p> </p><p>Watching the movie when it started; Eddie eating his food as he watched with curious eyes. It was then that he remembered that Eddie hadn’t seen the movie yet. They were supposed to go see it but Richie had gotten sick. And after that they were on missions for almost two months.</p><p> </p><p>Eating his food with a smile when Eddie snorted.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh come on, these girls aren’t that stupid.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a horror movie, <em>everyone</em> is that stupid.” Richie laughed, “That’s why they’re so great to watch.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you’re infinitely smarter than them?”</p><p> </p><p>“Obviously.” Richie said, “It’s awesome to know that I’m infinitely smarter than most of these stupid characters.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s true.” Eddie smiled, loving the smile on Richie’s face as he lit up while talking about horror movies.</p><p> </p><p>Both of them cuddling up to each other as they continued to eat and watch the movie. Eddie deciding then and there that he was going to move in with Richie sooner rather than later. So that way all of their nights could be like this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They have a lot of training to do before they go on their first mission for Neibolt.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Training was by far one of Richie’s favorite parts about his job. It was fun to watch the others spar and try to figure out how to put new moves into it. Watching Eddie take down Bill easily with a kick to the small of his back. Flipping on top of him and putting a boot knife to his throat. Bill tapping out as Eddie stood up and backed off.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly was sparring with El. The Party joining them so they could learn some new tricks. Richie had been watching them; critiquing where he needed to.</p><p> </p><p>Watching Mike getting slammed into the ground again by Ben almost made him laugh. His cousin was getting frustrated and he wasn’t masking it well.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re leaving your right side open.” Richie explained as he showed Mike what he was doing slowly.</p><p> </p><p>Ben taking the in but not tossing Richie down.</p><p> </p><p>“You leave yourself open like that then you’re always going to end up eating mat.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“You going to spar or just talk?” Eddie asked, wiping his face off with a towel, “Because I’d like a challenge, Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed, “Careful what you wish for, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just smiled at him as the older male sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh yes.” Beverly said, backing off El, “I want to watch!”</p><p> </p><p>“Treats us Losers don’t get often, watching Richie and Eddie actually spar.” Bill said.</p><p> </p><p>“Want to put out the rules, Stan?” Richie asked, as The Party took the much needed break to sit with the others on the sidelines.</p><p> </p><p>“Anything goes. Kick the shit out of each other?” Mike suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“Clean fighting, anything goes.” Stan amended, “If I feel like one of you is being a dirty rotten cheat, then you lose automatically. Tap out if you can’t take anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan sat on Bill’s lap, his legs swinging into Mike’s as his lovers held him tenderly. Richie pulling on his tactical gloves at the same time as Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>They had used to spar all the time in front of the others during training. After they’d become an official team it had become exceedingly less. They had both been focused on getting the others in fighting shape for their missions.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure you want to do this, Eds?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I know your moves.” Eddie told him, “Do you know mine?”</p><p> </p><p>“I feel like this is weird foreplay for them.” Will giggled.</p><p> </p><p>“It is. It one hundred and fifty percent is.” Beverly told them.</p><p> </p><p>“Ready.” Stan said, “Fight!”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie went on the offensive immediately. Throwing a punch at Richie who blockedand went along Eddie’s arm to hit him in the face with his back elbow. Eddie taking a few steps back as he massaged his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>The smaller male just looked at Richie who shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Hundred on Richie kicking Eddie’s ass.” Stan said.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll take that bet.” Max said, “Eddie’s tinier and faster.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah but Richie’s been trained to fight since he was six.” Bill countered, “He has a lot of experience.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie grabbing the punch that Eddie sent and sweeping under his arm. Taking the other as he tripped the back of Eddie’s leg; taking them both down as he landed on top of his boyfriend. Eddie stared up at him with a frown before flipping them over. Shoving the back of his heel into Richie’s lower back as the male gasped out. Breaking away as he got up; Richie going up and rubbing his back.</p><p> </p><p>“That hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“So did my cheek.” Eddie smirked.</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly, “Careful Eddie, I’ll end this quickly.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can surely try.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie moving like he was going to hit Richie who moved to block it. Eddie using the split second of confusion to somersault forward. His legs wrapping around Richie who immediately grabbed under his thighs and threw him off. Eddie hit the mat hard as he looked up at the older male who snorted.</p><p> </p><p>“Remember our lesson? You don’t immediately tighten it then you’ll be thrown.” Richie said, shaking his head, “Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie is getting cocky.” Beverly said, “Rich, remember you told us yourself that cockiness is a sure way to downfall.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s if I was wanting to fall.” Richie said, motioning for Eddie to fight him.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re making this not fun.” Eddie pouted.</p><p> </p><p>“If you wanted fun we should’ve stayed at your place.” Richie told him, “Come on, love.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m starting to regret it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie rushing Richie before sliding in between his legs. Spinning and kicking out Richie’s legs from under him. Climbing on top of him quickly before gasping when Richie lifted up and knocked him off.</p><p> </p><p>“You have to move faster.” Richie teased.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just smiled at him before Richie felt someone on his back. Grabbing the arm and flipping them off and onto the mat. He stared at Ben who smiled up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously? This is the hill you want to die on, Benny boy?” Richie asked, missing Eddie’s fist as he backed up, “Okay, two on one? That sounds unfair.”</p><p> </p><p>“What was one of our first lessons, Eddie? That not all fights would be fair?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s exactly the lesson we were taught, Ben.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>“I should have expected this.” Richie said, as Ben circled him, “Now Bev, you can’t be angry with me if I beat your boyfriend up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wasn’t planning on it.” Bev told him, “He made his bed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bev, it’s me and Eddie against Richie. We got this.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly just giggled with Stan as they leaned into one another. Ben frowned at her before looking to Eddie who nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Running at Richie’s back as Eddie ran towards his front. The oldest kicking his leg back and getting Ben in the chest before dropping down low and sweeping Eddie’s legs out from under him. Flipping up onto his feet before turning to Ben. Dodging a punch and grabbing his arm before forcing it behind his back. Turning them and watching Eddie’s punch land on Ben’s face before shoving the male towards his boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>He laughed as they both hit the mat. Smiling at them both as Eddie just gaped at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, no, what the fuck?” Ben asked.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t go back from this.” Mike laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, I’ll let one of you touch me.” Richie told them, putting his arms out, “Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was on his feet in seconds. Richie watching him before turning to the side and grabbing Eddie around the shoulders. Hugging him from behind with a small giggle.</p><p> </p><p>“You’d think to yourself after working together for six years like this that you’d stop wanting to fight me. That it’s a futile thing. Nope, not Eddie and Ben. They just want to prove me wrong once.” Richie said, seeing Ben get up.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie tossed his head back to hit Richie but all he got was a hand cupping the back of it.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s just rude.” Richie told him, “I haven’t hurt you seriously. And you would have seriously broke my nose.”</p><p> </p><p>“I swear I’m going to make you lay on your fucking back on this mat.” Eddie said, as Richie kissed his neck gently, “Oh that’s not fair.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re going to make me lay on this mat you need to figure out how.” Richie said softly into his ear before pushing him towards Ben who caught him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie moving away from the male and circling to Richie’s back. The older male just smiled at Ben who chewed on his bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p>“Having regrets now?”</p><p> </p><p>“A bit.” Ben told him, “Do you at least think that Eddie and I will be able to beat you one day?”</p><p> </p><p>“Perhaps.”</p><p> </p><p>“That doesn’t sound confident.” Ben frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s because it wasn’t.” Eddie told him, moving to put Richie in a headlock.</p><p> </p><p>His boyfriend moving and catching an arm before tucking it behind Eddie’s back.</p><p> </p><p>“Babe, I love you. It’d be best if you just stopped.” Richie told him, “Otherwise I’m going to make you tap out.”</p><p> </p><p>“No you won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“Want to bet?” Richie asked, “I’ll bet you dinner and a movie that I will.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll bet you a homecooked meal by you and a movie that you won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie snickered, “Now you’re just trying to emotionally blackmail me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is it working?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nope!” Richie said, kicking Eddie’s legs out from behind him.</p><p> </p><p>He kept Eddie’s arm pinned as the male went down easily. Richie making sure not to hurt his boyfriend but the threat of how his arm was angled was all the threat he needed.</p><p> </p><p>Ben started coming closer as Richie pulled a taser out of his boot. Aiming it at Ben but not shooting as he placed his knee on Eddie’s back.</p><p> </p><p>“Make the right choice, Haystack.” Richie told him, seeing Ben smile at the nickname, “Because this is the one that hurts.”</p><p> </p><p>He watched all of them cringe together. He agreed that being shocked by a taser wasn’t his idea of a good time in training. However, it could be necessary in a life or death situation.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry Eddie.” Ben said, putting his hands up and going to the sidelines again.</p><p> </p><p>“No hard feelings, Ben.” Eddie grunted, “I’m not tapping out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, don’t make me force it.” Richie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie tried to move as Richie put more pressure on his arm. His knee digging into his back harder as Eddie gasped softly. Richie bringing his other hand up and looking under his nails before his gaze went down to his stubborn boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, honey, just tap out.” Beverly said, “You’re at a slight disadvantage.”</p><p> </p><p>“I watched it and I still don’t fully understand how Richie moved like that.” Lucas told them, “Like he anticipated basically everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“And again I say, he’s been trained in fighting since he was like six.” Bill said, looking at Stan and Mike, “Am I invisible? Do you hear me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mike did you hear that?” Stan asked, as Mike laughed, “It sounded like a bug—don’t fucking tickle me!”</p><p> </p><p>Stan shrieked when Bill started tickling him. Trying to move as his laughter filled the training room. Beverly’s grin was all the warning they got before she tackled Mike and started tickling him. Ben just watched and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie groaning before he tapped his hand. Richie letting go and standing up all in one go. His boyfriend rolling on his back and frowning up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not fair. I’ve fought with you for six years. One would assume that I would be better at this.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are.” Richie said, offering his hand and pulling Eddie up, “You can kick everyone’s ass but mine. And that’s only because, like Bill said, I’ve got a lot more experience.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sparta kicking your parents down an elevator shaft just made my bucket list.” Eddie said, as Richie laughed and kissed him gently.</p><p> </p><p>“You know what? That did it for me.” Richie joked, as Eddie laughed, “There’s nothing sexier you can say to me. All other words are meaningless.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie caressed the sides of Richie’s face with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“God, I love you.” Eddie told him, “And I love that you’re letting your funny side back out. It was sorely missed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop it!” Stan screamed, “Stop tickling me! Richie! Help me!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked to Stan and frowned, “I am <em>trying</em> to have a moment here with my boyfriend. Give me five minutes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Best friend rule number fifty-four!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie gaped at him, “What the <em>fuck</em>, Uris? I was five when I signed that!”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled at a confused Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Give me just one minute.” Richie said, as Eddie tilted his head, “Best friend rule number fifty-four just got called so...I have to help him.”</p><p> </p><p>“What rule is that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Tickle attack back up.” is all Richie said before he launched himself at Bill.</p><p> </p><p>Pinning the male and tickling the male as Stan took a deep breath. Crawling away from the mass of tickling to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Go on without me, Eddie. I won’t make it.” Stan said over dramatically as he laid there, “I’m dying.”</p><p> </p><p>“Holy shit! You made fun of Richie for being over dramatic and yet here you are, Uris.” Eddie said, as Richie scrambled away from Bill, “Richie!”</p><p> </p><p>“One second, love!” Richie called to him, “Bill! Stay down!”</p><p> </p><p>Bill stopped moving, “Tell Stan and Mike I love them. And that Beverly gets all my worldly possessions. Except my car...Eddie gets my car.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan, I saved you!” Richie told him, stepping over his body to get back to Eddie, “That’s your use of that rule for the year.”</p><p> </p><p>“A worthy time to use it.”</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck is wrong with you two?” Ben asked, laughing.</p><p> </p><p>“Too much free time when we were kids.” Richie said, “We signed a thing called best friend rules. If you call a certain number you have to help. I forget what the punishment is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mayonnaise dunk.” Stan said, as both boys cringed.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s right...yeah...not doing that.” Richie told them, “I think Stan still has a copy of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I do!” Stan admitted, “And it’s for times like these.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe Stan made you sign a contract with rules for being best friends.” Eddie said, “Bill! Did he do that with you because he didn’t with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, he didn’t.” Bill said, sitting up, “And now I’m a little offended. I thought we were closer than that, Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan made me sign it because he secretly knew I was going to grow up to be a giant.” Richie shrugged, “That and he knew you two wouldn’t sign it because you were both too reasonable. I was wanting love wherever I could get it. And I was scared if I didn’t sign it Stan would stop being my friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan frowned up at Richie, “I didn’t know that’s why you signed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie Tozier has fucked up self esteem, news at five.” Richie joked, as the others just stared at him, “Don’t make this into a thing. I was five for fuck’s sake. I thought sneezing would make Eddie hate me. Obviously five year old me was an idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you want out of the-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stanny, shut the fuck up.” Richie said, as Stan looked at him, “I don’t want out of the contract. Besides that the only fucked up rule we made is number eighty-seven.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan laughed loudly as he covered his mouth. The others looking at them curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah buddy, I remember the rules.” Richie told him, “Now, that’s it for training today guys! Everyone did a great job and we’ll pick it up again tomorrow!”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s rule eighty-seven?” Ben asked.</p><p> </p><p>“You would’ve had to sign the contract to know.” Stan said very seriously, “Bill and Mike do you guys want to go get food?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” Mike said, standing up and helping Bill.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked over to Eddie who was just watching him.</p><p> </p><p>“So homemade meal is what you want?”</p><p> </p><p>“You won.” Eddie said, “Therefore it’s dinner and a movie.”</p><p> </p><p>“What homemade meal do you want?” Richie asked, as Eddie just sighed, “I could make cottage pie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my—yes!” Eddie said, “Please! I’ll love you so long if you do. Like we’re talking eternity here.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed and threw an arm around Eddie’s shoulders as they went to grab their bags.</p><p> </p><p>“When you put it that way I have to make it. What about if I made dessert too?” Richie asked, “We could do brownies?”</p><p> </p><p>“Your place or mine?” Eddie asked, “And obviously yes to brownies.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your place.” Richie said, “We can stop by the grocery store on the way.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie put his bag across his body before kissing Richie. The taller male pulling Eddie closer to him as he walked them backwards towards the elevator. Ignoring the gagging sounds from the Losers behind them.</p><p> </p><p>This is what Richie would fight for every day of his life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie and Richie spend a day together being lazy.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie’s giggling always brought a smile to Richie’s face. Today was no exception for him as he tickled the younger male. They’d spent the day watching movies and relaxing. Eddie suggesting they take a nap as he led Richie to the bedroom. They’d changed into pajamas and slid into bed. They’d fallen asleep and when Richie had woken up it had been to Eddie on top of him. Looking so mischievous that he had been immediately suspicious.</p><p> </p><p>For the record, Eddie had started tickling him first. So he got what he deserved.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry what was that, babe?” Richie asked, as Eddie shrieked when he started tickling his sides, “I can’t hear you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry!” Eddie wheezed, “Please...stop tickling me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stopped for a moment as Eddie breathed in deeply. Tilting his head back as he relaxed.</p><p> </p><p>“You good?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll give myself this.” Eddie said, “I tickled you for five minutes before you managed to turn the tables on me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed softly as Eddie looked up at him; his gaze so soft as he smiled up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“So do we have to go in today?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Richie muttered, lowering himself as he kissed Eddie, “I think that Stan wanted to come over with Bev but that’s it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you agree to those plans?” Eddie breathed, when Richie started kissing his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“Not yet.” Richie said against his skin, “You see I have an infestation of Kaspbrak. It’s requiring all of my attention.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh? Well you better get to work.” Eddie teased.</p><p> </p><p>He let out a small gasp when Richie’s teeth grazed his neck. His hand going up and carding through the older male’s hair. Their noses bumping against the other’s. Laughing softly as Eddie kissed him. Richie leaning on his forearms as he pulled away from the younger male.</p><p> </p><p>Richie didn’t even want to say anything in fear that it would break the moment. Laughing softly when Eddie’s lips ghosted over his neck. Rolling them over as he let his hands trail over Richie’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>There wasn’t any pressure on him; Richie taking in the distinct scent of Eddie’s body wash. Patrick had smelled like smoke and blood. Two things that Richie would always associate with the male.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” Eddie whispered in his ear, “Are you okay? Is this okay?”</p><p> </p><p>All thoughts of the FLAGG operative leaving him as he took in the concerned look on Eddie’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m alright and this is perfect.” Richie told him sincerely, kissing him again.</p><p> </p><p>Letting their lips move together as he felt Eddie’s hands in his hair. Not tugging but pulling just enough to get him to gasp softly. Feeling Eddie’s tongue ghost over his lips and letting him take control.</p><p> </p><p>He was putting all of his trust into his boyfriend. Knowing that Eddie wouldn’t push him any further than he knew Richie could take.</p><p> </p><p>And he knew for a fact that Eddie was paying attention to it. Was using his hands to determine if Richie was tense or uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>Gasping softly when Eddie moved against him. Laying on top of him carefully so he wouldn’t put too much pressure on him.</p><p> </p><p>Laughing as Eddie’s giggle tickled his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just incredibly happy right now.” Eddie said honestly.</p><p> </p><p>Their lips caressing each other as Richie breathed in through his nose. Letting Eddie lick his way into his mouth as he groaned. Letting his hands rest on Eddie’s hips as the younger male moved against him gently.</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s too much tell me.” Eddie told him seriously, “I don’t want to do anything you aren’t comfortable with, Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m alright with this.” Richie said, “It’s fine, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>Feeling his heart swell as Eddie just smiled at him. Knowing and trusting Eddie were second nature to him. It made him comfortable in a way that he only felt with his team but moreso with Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>Both of them groaning when Richie’s phone rang. Eddie starting to lift up as Richie let his hands tighten on his hips.</p><p> </p><p>“Let it ring.” Richie told him, as Eddie stared at him, “We’ve spent the last six years letting work rule our lives. Whatever it is can wait until we’re ready for it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s smile lit up his entire face as he kissed him harder. Richie laughing into it because he knew that it was true. They let work and their friends pull them away from the things they wanted to do. And all Richie wanted was this...with Eddie. A lazy day in bed just making out.</p><p> </p><p>His hands going underneath Eddie’s shirt as his best friend shivered at the cold hands. Gasping when Richie rolled them back over. Careful not to roll them off the bed as he moved Eddie’s arms above his head and held them there. The groan escaping Eddie not going unnoticed as the older male tried to get him to make another noise. Those noises were keeping him planted in the here and now.</p><p> </p><p>When Richie’s phone started to ring again, he heard Eddie groan when he pulled away. Opening his phone and seeing Stan’s name. Knowing the male was wanting to come over as he put his phone on silent. Tossing it away before letting himself get pulled back to Eddie. Laughing as he let their lips meet again.</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s mouth going to Eddie’s neck and laying gentle kisses against the skin. The kisses turning into nips. Taking in every noise that escaped the male beneath him. Soft gasps and the most amazing moans. Richie’s hands leaving Eddie’s arms above him as they trailed down to rest on his hips again.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit...Richie.” Eddie gasped, “We may need to cool off for a minute...I need to.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure? I don’t...I can’t...<em>fuck</em>.” Eddie whimpered when Richie’s hips moved against his, “Don’t push yourself for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not.” Richie swore, “I know I can stop at any time.”</p><p> </p><p>Kissing Eddie harder as he rolled them back over. Letting his boyfriend rest on top of him. His breath coming out in short pants. Letting his hips roll into Richie’s as they both moaned. Eddie sucking on the skin on Richie’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie pulling at Richie’s shirt as he sat up and let it come off. Smelling the younger male and listening to his voice as it started whispering things into his ear.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling his own shirt off as their chests moved together. Eddie’s hands trailing down Richie’s front as he let out a needy whine. Letting his nails lightly scratch Richie’s chest. Their hips moving together slowly as they both moaned into each others mouths.</p><p> </p><p>A pressure building in Richie as he let himself feel everything that Eddie was giving him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s phone ringing as the younger male groaned and pulled away.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we should answer?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just Stan.” Richie told him, “Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie glanced at his phone before returning to kissing him. Eddie’s hips moving faster against Richie’s as they both let out loud moans. Richie keeping a tight hold of Eddie’s hips as they broke apart. Eddie’s head going back as he gasped quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my G—Richie...fucking...<em>please</em>.” Eddie whimpered, “I’m so fucking close.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie lifting Eddie up as he sat up. Letting his boyfriend into his lap as the younger male moved his hips faster. Forcing him to stop as Eddie let out a whine.</p><p> </p><p>“No...oh shit..are you okay?” Eddie asked, breaking out of the haze of, “Did I push too much?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re fine.” Richie told him, kissing him, “Just wanted to see your face when you come.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie deepened the kiss as he nuzzled his nose. Richie’s hand cupping Eddie through his sleep pants and basking in the groan that his boyfriend let out. Eddie bucking into hiss hand before looking at him with wide, dark eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee—you don’t have to.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Richie said, “It’s easy to ignore it all with you. You sound nothing like him...smell nothing like him...feel nothing like him.”</p><p> </p><p>It was all things that calmed Richie more than anything. It was different in New York when it felt like Eddie was being rough with him. Harder to focus because he was up against a wall.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh fucking...oh God.” Eddie gasped, moving his hips faster against Richie, “Chee...Richie...please.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, love.” Richie told him, looking at Eddie who had thrown his head back. His neck turning red as he kissed it, “I love looking at you like this.”</p><p> </p><p>Moaning himself when Eddie’s hand cupped him.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this okay?” Eddie gasped out, as Richie nodded, “Good.”</p><p> </p><p>Feeling Eddie’s hand move against him; gripping him as he moaned loudly against Eddie’s mouth. Moving into him as his hands tightened on Eddie. The pleasure building in his stomach as he came against Eddie with a moan.</p><p> </p><p>His boyfriend grinding into him as he came with a loud whine. Gasping and whimpering against Richie’s mouth as his hands went to the sides of his face. Shaking against the older male as he breathed harshly. Those breaths calming down as Eddie leaned against Richie fully.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Richie asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Am <em>I </em>okay?” Eddie asked, shocked, “Richie, babe, are you alright? That was...a lot.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled at him and laughed softly.</p><p> </p><p>“That was perfect.” Richie told him, “I’m perfectly okay, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“No flashbacks? No discomfort?” Eddie asked, “I-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie kissed him before pulling away with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, it was impossible to think about Patrick. The way you smell, sound and act is lightyears different from him.” Richie told him, “When I talked to my therapist about it he said to focus on things in the present not the past. That it would help keep me focused on you and what I want.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you <em>did</em> want that?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“So much. You have no idea.” Richie said, “I don’t think...I’m ready for <em>that</em> but this was wonderful Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just smiled and kissed him before pulling back.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so proud of you.” Eddie told him, “Not just this but the fact that you’re talking to your therapist about these things. That you are actively trying not to let it rule your life.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want it to. Not when I want a life with you, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie felt his eyes burn as he held onto Richie’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Eddie asked, his voice tight.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that shocking to you? That I want a life with you. I thought that was obvious given we’ve spent more time together in one of our places than separately. I think moving into different apartments was a waste of time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Move in with me?” Richie asked, “Or we can move into your place and be closer to the Losers. I just know that I want you, Eddie Kaspbrak. I want you here when I wake up and go to sleep. When I burn mac and cheese. To help you with chores and clean the apartment. I want everything with you. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about today.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just stared at him before putting their foreheads together.</p><p> </p><p>“I am so <em>gone </em>on you, Richie.” Eddie told him breathlessly, “I want those things too. If you’re sure on it then I one hundred percent want to move in together. I don’t care which apartment or the location.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie kissed him gently, “Which would you prefer?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, Gordie soundproofed your room at your apartment right? So it might be easier to move in at your place because of that.” Eddie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“What about your stripper pole?” Richie teased.</p><p> </p><p>“Easily installed.” Eddie answered, “It’s harder to soundproof.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we could stay at mine while they install soundproofing here?” Richie suggested, “It takes two weeks?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie smiled at him, “Are you saying that because you know how picky I am about cleaning and you don’t want us to clean your place?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shrugged his shoulders as Eddie laughed loudly.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, we’ll move into mine.” Eddie said, “But stay at yours until the soundproofing is installed. If you’re one hundred percent sure?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve never been sure of a lot of things in my life. My parents made it impossible for me to feel that way. This...with you, <em>anything</em> with you Eddie I’m sure of. I’m so fucking sure of it that I would bet my life on it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie smiled at him, “Then I’ll text Gordie and get him to get someone over to my place immediately. The Losers can help us pack you up and move you over there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds perfect. While you do that I’ll see what Stan needs.” Richie told him, “But Eddie, I don’t want to live in the past. Patrick wins if I stop living my life and doing what I want. And God do I want this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then you’ll have it.” Eddie swore, “But can we shower first?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God, yes!” Richie said, shifting them before lifting Eddie up by the thighs, “I’m carrying you there though. We could take a bath and then rinse off in the shower?”</p><p> </p><p>“What did I do to deserve you, Richie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Exist? Breathe? Love me back?”</p><p> </p><p>Taking them into the bathroom and setting Eddie down on the counter. Turning the water on and waiting for it to heat up.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll call Stan real quick then join you.” Richie said, as Eddie nodded his head.</p><p> </p><p>Going into the bedroom and grabbing his phone. Calling Stan and waiting for him to pick up.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hey! Finally, what were you doing? Sleeping?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Richie said, “And other things. What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What time are Bev and I coming over?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Give me an hour?” Richie asked, “I’ll order us some pizza. Eddie’s over here too.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Want me and Bev to invite the others and we can just make a night out of it?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Works for me.” Richie smiled, as he watched Eddie slide into the bath, “But I’ll see you in an hour Stan. Get Ben to grab snacks.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okay? You got it. Everything good? You sound a little out of breath. You and Eddie train?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed before covering his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, sure...we’ll go with that.”</p><p> </p><p>The other end of the line was silent before he heard Stan gasp.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Oh my—did you guys do something sexual? Richie!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“If we did, I’m not confirming or denying it. But I’ll see you in an hour.” Richie said, “Bye Stan!”</p><p> </p><p>Hanging up and tossing his phone on the bed. Pulling his pants off and going into the bathroom. Climbing in behind Eddie who leaned up against him.</p><p> </p><p>If he focused on the here and now then everything would be fine. He knew something for a fact, especially after today. That was that Eddie would never hurt or push him. The concern that his boyfriend had showed had more than said that.</p><p> </p><p>Washing him off as they took their time. If the Losers had to wait a few extra minutes so be it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Their first mission for Neibolt doesn't go as they expected.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Do a retrieval mission, Adrian said. It would be easy he said. This was the last thing from easy. While he and Eddie had agreed to wear masks on the mission just in casesomething happened he hadn’t thought something actually would.</p><p> </p><p>Richie grunted when Eddie tackled him; gunshots hitting the wall where he’d just been. His boyfriend looking down at him with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Stan, we need back up!” Eddie snapped, “We’re pinned.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulling Eddie down against him as the cabinet they were behind started spraying small pieces of wood.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Bill and Mike are en route! Hang tight!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Like we can do anything else.” Eddie said, gasping when Richie rolled them over.</p><p> </p><p>Loading his gun as he peeked over the top. Seeing five operatives dressed in MATURIN uniforms did something to Richie’s stomach and he wasn’t sure what.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck!” Richie said, ducking low on top of Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>Covering his boyfriends body as more gunshots rang over their head. Eddie stared at him with wide eyes. They’d been screwed after acquiring the package. Halfway to the rendezvous and they’d been ambushed by fucking MATURIN.</p><p> </p><p>“Five people is overkill.” Eddie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Unless they suspected there were enemy operatives in house.”</p><p> </p><p>“Still overkill.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared down at him with a frown before looking around.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>They’re almost there boys!” Beverly told them calmly.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Shit!” Eddie shouted, “B, it’s too late they’re closing in!”</p><p> </p><p>They knew that from the footsteps; Richie looking at Eddie who smiled at him. Both getting low as they waited for a break. Getting up and aiming their shots at the operatives. Eddie pushing Richie out of the way when they all five lifted their guns up after reloading.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re here!” Bill said, aiming and hitting one of them in the shoulder, “Come on boys!”</p><p> </p><p>Mike had a flamethrower at his side as he set things aflame. Richie letting Bill pull Eddie from him as he turned and aimed at one of the operatives. Shooting them in the neck as he moved backwards. The four of them moving back as Mike made sure to set things on fire to block their path.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re en route!” Bill said, “Shit Eddie, you got hit.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s head snapped to Bill who was helping Eddie stay upright. Wondering when he’d been hit and for how long as they got out of the building. Richie moving to his boyfriend and lifting him up as they all started running. Stan flinging the van door open as they all climbed in. Bill and Mike getting in the very back with Ben who was prepared to shoot anyone who was following them. Beverly squealing out of their spot.</p><p> </p><p>Richie laid Eddie in the middle seats. Staring at the wound on his lower abdomen. They all took their masks off as Richie assessed the situation.</p><p> </p><p>“When did you get hit?” Richie asked, reaching under the seat and jerking the first aid kit out.</p><p> </p><p>“The last time I pushed you out of the way.” Eddie winced, as Richie ripped his shirt where the wound was.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck.” Richie breathed.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck? Why fuck?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>“It didn’t go through.” Eddie said, looking down at it.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck!” Stan said loudly, “We’re thirty minutes out from Neibolt.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand and locked eyes with him. Richie tilting his head to the side as the younger male nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll get it out and stitch him up.” Richie told them, opening the kit.</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me?” Bill asked, “You’re k-k-kidding right?”</p><p> </p><p>“The longer the bullet stays lodged in Eddie the greater his chances are for a more painful extraction. As well as any poisoning that is coated on the bullet, if any.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bev, do we have the party flask?” Richie asked, as she tossed it back to him.</p><p> </p><p>His hands weren’t shaking as he looked at Eddie who nodded again.</p><p> </p><p>“Do it.” Eddie told him, as Richie looked to Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“I need you to pour the alcohol on his wound.” Richie told him, pulling gloves on.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want any part of this-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stanley!” Richie snapped, “Eddie and I have been trained in field dressing. Fucking pour the alcohol on his wound after I pull the bullet out, understood?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir.” Stanley said, his voice wavering.</p><p> </p><p>Richie grabbed the forceps and stared at the wound that will slowly bleeding everywhere. Kissing Eddie quickly and smiling at him encouragingly.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you and I’m sorry but this is going to hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie would tease him later for Han Solo’ing him. Pushing the forceps in slowly as Eddie grit his teeth and slammed his head against the window. His hand going to grab something and finding Ben’s hand. He squeezed it as he tried not to breathe too hard. Blood gushing out around the forceps as Richie took a soothing breath.</p><p> </p><p>Richie opening the forceps carefully as he felt around for the bullet. Closing his eyes as he focused on the task at hand and not the pained look on his boyfriend’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Clasping it in the tool and starting to pull it out. Ben moving to be next to Eddie. Putting a piece of gauze next to the wound as Richie pulled it out fully.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit.” Richie breathed.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit? Why shit?”</p><p> </p><p>“It fractured a little.” Richie said, “Just a little, love. I have to go back in. It won’t take me that long, I swear.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at him before nodding. His other hand finding Mike’s as the male gripped it tightly. Richie going back into the wound as Eddie shouted in pain; unable to mask it that time. Tears were running down his boyfriend’s face and Richie hated himself for causing it.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling around for the fragment. His tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth. Feeling it slip just a little as he hissed. He wished they had the equipment at the infirmary so he could suction the blood around the wound that was making it slippery. However he didn’t and he had to remain calm and keep a steady hand.</p><p> </p><p>Field dressing was always a messy affair. Especially if people weren’t trained for it. At the time Richie had scoffed at his parents teaching him how when he’d been fifteen but now? Well now he was grateful for it. If you didn’t stay calm you could do more damage. While Richie loved Eddie he also knew that if the bullet was poisoned it would be worse.</p><p> </p><p>Stan looking the bullet over as Richie found the fragment. Pulling it out as Eddie sniffled and leaned his head against the seat. The older male covering the wound with gauze as he looked to Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“Good news is that it’s one of their reg series. No poison or venom. So you’ll be good Eddie. We’ll double check at headquarters but should be fine.” Stan said, passing the flask to Ben who poured it on the wound when Richie moved the gauze.</p><p> </p><p>Grabbing the thread and needle as he carefully threaded it. Paying attention to the hole and looping it easily before he looked to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“This is still going to hurt but we’re halfway done. You’re doing amazing, baby. Like so fucking good you have no idea.” Richie praised Eddie, who smiled at him shakily.</p><p> </p><p>His boyfriend was shaking and sweating from the pain. Richie needed to make this go by fast.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay...here we go.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie putting his full focus on stitching the skin together. He could put gauze on it afterwards and they could clean it better when they got to headquarters if Eddie wanted them to. He’d be put on a course of antibiotics just in case. Richie working quickly but efficiently. It was a fairly small wound but bullet wounds always hurt like a bitch for at least a week. They took anywhere from two to three to heal fully. Making out would have to happen with Eddie laying down. He’d have to be careful with the wound. Couldn’t get it wet for a few days.</p><p> </p><p>They both knew it but running through the data helped calm Richie in a way that nothing else did.</p><p> </p><p>Finishing it and cutting the thread as he placed clean gauze over it. Taping the edges down smoothly as he used more gauze to use the alcohol on. Cleaning the blood off of Eddie before looking up at him. He stared at Richie with a look of wonder in his eyes as his boyfriend took his gloves off.</p><p> </p><p>“How’s your pain?” Richie asked, digging into his emergency bag.</p><p> </p><p>“A four.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not bad but not good either.” Richie muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you looking for?” Ben asked.</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulling a prescription pain med out. Popping the cap and putting one in his hand. Capping it and tossing it back in before grabbing a bottle of water and unscrewing it.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds, love, this may knock you out. I’ll make sure that you’re taken care of.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took the pill with the water and stared at Richie who moved quickly. Adjusting Eddie so that he was laying on Richie instead of the car door. Ignoring the feeling of blood soaking into his pants.</p><p> </p><p>“Home.” Eddie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“You need to be checked out, love.” Richie whispered in his ear, “We have to make sure you’re one hundred percent squared away. And you may need a blood transfusion, I’m not sure. But I’ll get your some antibiotics and get you home. I won’t leave your side, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Promise?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I swear.” Richie said, pushing the sweaty hair from his face, “I’ve got you, love.”</p><p> </p><p>Letting him fall asleep against his shoulder as he looked to the others. Even Beverly kept eyeing him in the rear view.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Richie snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“The amount of trust he has in you is insane.” Stan said, “Like I love you Richie, but we’ve never had to do a field dressing before. I wouldn’t have believed you could do it if I hadn’t seen it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie was trained a little bit in it. Maggie and Went trained me when I was fifteen.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?”</p><p> </p><p>“I had to field dress my own gunshot wound.” Richie told them, seeing their eyes widen in shock, “So I knew I could one hundred percent do it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fucking hell, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“And the risk of the bullet being more dangerous was too real for me to wait. Thirty minutes is the difference between life and death. I wasn’t going to risk it.” Richie said, “However, until he’s healed it means he’s going to have to do easy work on missions. So I may need you or Ben out in the field, Stan. You guys are our backups if one of us is wounded.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll come out with you.” Stan told him, “That’s not a problem. How is he?”</p><p> </p><p>“His pulse is a little erratic but that’s normal after being shot. He’ll be fine once we get to the infirmary.” Richie sighed, kissing Eddie’s temple, “I didn’t even know he’d been shot until...after.”</p><p> </p><p>“He was good at hiding it until he stumbled.” Bill said gently, “He didn’t want to slow us down from our getaway.”</p><p> </p><p>“Still...I didn’t even see him get hit.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were in the field. It’s insanity out there, you know that. Stop beating yourself up or I’ll tell Eddie and he’ll beat you up himself.” Beverly said, glaring at Richie, “You can’t hold yourself responsible for every single bad thing, Richie. We don’t work for your parents or Danny anymore. We aren’t going to tell you this is your fault when it isn’t. Because it one hundred percent isn’t. Either your or Eddie would have been hit.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I think we can all agree that we’re glad that you both have training.” Stan said, “Otherwise we would’ve been fucked.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just want to go to our apartment and curl up.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Our?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Our</em>?” Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve moving into Eddie’s apartment together but staying at mine until the soundproofing on the bedroom is done.” Richie told them smiling, “He’s it for me guys, you know that.”</p><p> </p><p>“We do. Didn’t expect you to reach that decision yourself. Your self loathing only lets you go so far.” Mike smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so h-h-happy for you guys, R-R-Richie.” Bill said happily, “That’s amazing news!”</p><p> </p><p>“I just don’t understand why there were five of them.” Richie said slowly, “It makes no sense even I they thought there were hostiles in house. How many times did Danny fucking tell us not to bring more people in?”</p><p> </p><p>“More than I’d like to count.” Ben said, “It is highly unusual for them to do it though. Do you think they knew it was us?”</p><p> </p><p>“How? We were all wearing masks.” Stan said, “There’s no way they knew.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care if they knew or not. It’s just really fucking weird.” Richie snapped, “Ben, do we have footage of who shot him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...but you won’t like it.” Ben said.</p><p> </p><p>“Who was it? They all looked new?”</p><p> </p><p>“Connor Bowers.” Ben told him, “He was behind the other four. You wouldn’t have recognized him because he had a fucking mouth mask on. The stupid bitch still thinks that could be his <em>signature</em> thing. What an idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait...I thought Connor was part of Ace’s team?”</p><p> </p><p>“Guess they changed some things.” Richie said, “Can we hack into MATURIN and see?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben moved quickly, “I’m on it!”</p><p> </p><p>“Remember to do at least four cross traces.” Stan told him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to do twenty.” Ben said, “I’ll be in and out before they even notice. I can also check our statuses.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie held Eddie tenderly before kissing his temple again. Ben making an ‘a ha’ sound which meant he was in.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay so Connor was moved to a new team as a leader a week ago.” Ben said, “After...putting Ace in the infirmary because of a difference in opinions. And our statuses are...wow, that’s actually smart.”</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re all on a leave of absence with an end date for next week.” Ben told them, “Guess they’re going to try to find us by then. Also Connor ran into FLAGG while on Ace’s team. It was after that mission that they had the fight and Ace landed in the infirmary. I really want to know what they fought about.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, sign out before you flag something.” Beverly told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Already doing it, baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, are you okay?” Mike asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I will once Eddie is squared away.” Richie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“And the news that Connor is the one that shot him?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s eyes narrowed, “We’re going to file that away for another time. If I focus on that too hard I’ll want to track him down and rip his head off. Instead I’d like to focus on my boyfriend.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be there in five minutes, Richie.” Beverly said, “Afterwards I can drive you and Eddie to your place and Ben can follow to pick me up.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s great, thank you Bev.” Richie told her.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t thank me for something so easy.” Beverly told him, “I just have to make sure my boys are okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie could still appreciate the hell out of her doing it. Leaning his head against the door as his eyes shut for just a moment. The adrenaline was wearing off and leaving an ache of tiredness in its wake. Richie knew he had to do a debrief but he also knew that Adrian and Don would accommodate them. Let them do it in the infirmary so Richie didn’t have to leave Eddie alone for a minute.</p><p> </p><p>Knowing that Eddie wasn’t going to be pleased when he woke up and realized he was going to be benched for at least two weeks. If there was one thing Richie and Eddie agreed on it was their mutual hatred for one of them not being in the field with the other. While they loved the Losers Club...they could both admit to feeling the most at comfort with them watching each others backs.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie finds out just how not okay Richie really is.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So the song that is referenced in this chapter is 'Can You Feel My Heart' by Varien and Andrew Zink if you want to listen to it. It's the song I listen to the most while writing the interactions with Richie and Eddie. I may post the playlist I listen to while writing this fic later if you guys are interested in it.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXeb4PZZL7g</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie had been right about how Eddie would react to being benched until he was healed. He’d yelled at Stan and Adrian until they’d forced him to see reason. Richie had sat there the entire time and let them argue it out. Knowing there was nothing he could say that would make Eddie feel better about any of it.</p><p> </p><p>That had been a week ago.</p><p> </p><p>As of right now he was sitting in a chair in the corner of the living room. Curled up as much as he could be with a book. Richie was in the spare bedroom training. They had a mission coming up tomorrow that would be their first killing gig since they’d started Neibolt.</p><p> </p><p>Hitting the punching bag before turning to kick it. Richie knew that the way he trained at home hadn’t been something that his team had been around for, least of all Eddie. He tried to train when the male wasn’t coming over. Now that they had decided to live together that had changed.</p><p> </p><p>When he trained at home he blasted music as loud as he could to block out the noise of everything else. Again, being grateful for the soundproofing that had been put in by Gordie. He’d discussed it with the male when they’d spoken about doing the same for Eddie’s apartment. He didn’t want to lose out on how he trained. This was by far the most soothing thing he did daily. It had helped his therapy concerning Patrick. Just losing himself to the noise and work out.</p><p> </p><p>He grabbed the punching bag when he heard the music get turned down. Turning to the open door and smiling as Eddie leaned against the frame with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Richie asked, knowing that frown meant he was displeased.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate that you’re going out in the field tomorrow with Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“You trust Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I do but it’s...the field is different. How would you feel if it were you?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was me once before and you had Mike in the field with you. I was worried the whole time that you were going to get hurt and there would be nothing I could do to stop it.” Richie said, “But I understood that I would be a liability if I was out there. I’d slow you down and get you hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie sighed, “That’s what I’m feeling except I wouldn’t slow you down, Richie. The wound doesn’t even hurt!”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know that?” Richie asked, “We haven’t trained together since you got wounded. So how would you know if you’d be slow or not? You haven’t pulled on the stitches or wound itself. So please explain it to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then let’s train.” Eddie said, shoving off from the door, “I don’t want you going out into the field with Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, you have to trust our team to have our backs just as much as we do.”</p><p> </p><p>“He hasn’t been in the field in almost a year. Neither has Mike! They’re rusty and could be slow to pull their weapons if need be.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just stared at him with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t ask me to sit in a car and wait for you to kill this guy with Stan as your back up. We’ve been training together in the field for literal years. Stan doesn’t know to check your nine because of your peripheral vision being shitty on your left side.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d rather be a little slow than let something happen to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you know that I’m going to tell you that you can’t.” Richie said, “If it were me that were wounded right now and not you...what would you tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s face pinched as he looked to the side.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d tell you that healing is your number one priority. That you need to have faith that we’ve all been trained well enough to take care of each other.”</p><p> </p><p>“So why is if different for you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I’m scared. Yes the bounty hunting gig went fine but our first mission didn’t. I don’t want to chance MATURIN or FLAGG popping out of the woodwork.”</p><p> </p><p>“And if they do, then we’ll handle it, I promise.” Richie told him, taking off his tactical gloves and tossing them aside as he went to Eddie, “Eddie, I know you’re scared but this is our job.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can I hate our job?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” Richie said, pulling the shorter male into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>Tucking Eddie’s head under his chin as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just terrified if I let you go into the field without me that you’re going to get hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“I could get hurt in the field with you backing me. Fate doesn’t give a shit about who is with us, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“That doesn’t make me feel better.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah I didn’t think about what I was saying before it came out of my mouth.” Richie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Promise me you’ll be careful?”</p><p> </p><p>“I always try to be careful in the field. And I promise until you’re backing me out there again I’ll be extra careful.” Richie told him, kissing the top of his head, “If it makes you feel better you’re in charge of the mission so you’ll be in my ear the whole time. You’ll still be with me in the field it just won’t be physically.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. It’s why I haven’t had a complete meltdown yet.” Eddie muttered, “What are you even listening to in here?”</p><p> </p><p>His boyfriend was frowning in a very telling way. The song wasn’t happy at all. However, this was a song that mattered a lot to Richie. It was one that had helped him and had helped him cope with what had happened to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Varien and Andrew Zink.” Richie said, backing away from his boyfriend, “Fun fact about this song. Well first off it’s a cover but...I used to listen to this song a lot after the first time Patrick took me. It was how I justified not confessing to you because I thought I was broken. Like I couldn’t breathe because I thought I was drowning. Now I listen to this song because it shows me how far I’ve come from four years ago. Will I always have panic attacks about what happened? Sure. But I won’t let it rule my life.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chee-”</p><p> </p><p>“So, you want to train with me?” Richie asked, as Eddie frowned, “Eds...<em>don’t</em> read too much into it okay? You’ll drive yourself crazy if you do. I’ll be fine, eventually. You’ll help me get there, I’m positive about that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just concerned about you.” Eddie said, grabbing Richie’s hand and pulling him out of the room, “You’ve been pushing yourself so hard lately with everything. Our relationship, our job and our friendships with the others. I just don’t want you to end up doing something that will hurt you because you’re trying to make all of us happy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m trying to make myself happy too.” Richie told him, as they went to sit on the couch, “I’m pushing myself because I have to, Eddie. It’s the only way I’ll ever recover. If you start treating me like a victim...then that’s all I’ll view myself as. You know what happened and you know that being with you helps. That being said, I had really shitty coping mechanisms before I took therapy seriously. And I’m not going to apologize for it. So believe me when I say that I’m pushing myself for <em>my</em> sake, no one else’s.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I believe you.” Eddie told him, rubbing his thumb over the back of Richie’s hand, “Can you blame me for being worried though?”</p><p> </p><p>“I should be the one worried. You were shot a week ago.” Richie said, “Saving me, if I need to remind you. Which is why I talked to Adrian and Carrie about creating lightweight kevlar vests that we can wear underneath our clothes for missions. We probably should have already had that but I think we’re all used to MATURIN still. Where they didn’t really care about our safety.”</p><p> </p><p>“They really didn’t.” Eddie said, “The vests are a good idea. But I want to ask you something.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think that...should we make our mark as Neibolt so that way MATURIN knows that they have another competitor?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll have to soon enough. We won’t always be wearing masks to missions. If someone sees our faces that’s it.” Richie told him, “However, I’m not announcing our new company without you in the field with me. Adrian wants us to be the faces, fine, that means we both have to be our there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you scared that Danny will...track us down?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s grip on his hand tightened; the older male’s eyes darkening just a little. The cold look in his eyes chilled Eddie to the bone.</p><p> </p><p>“If he does then I’ll take care of it.” Richie said, “I won’t let anyone threaten what we’re building here, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“And if it’s Maggie and Went?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him and looked down. Eddie watching his boyfriend struggle with finding an answer. Squeezing his hand before tilting Richie’s head up.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not asking you to kill your parents-”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to. They’d have no qualms killing you if it meant I went back to being their soldier.” Richie said, his eyes going glassy, “That’s the real reason they didn’t want me to date you. They knew, just like the Losers Club did, that if I started dating you that’d be it. I’d want to leave them behind and do our own thing. That you’d make me see reason and stop being such a perfect pawn.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wish that we’d known that your parents had been abusing you. We could’ve tried harder to get you out of there. Shorten your time at home.”</p><p> </p><p>“It wouldn’t have mattered. They would’ve just grounded me more and been more strict. Picked me up from school instead of letting me walk home. I’m not saying that what happened was okay because it a million percent wasn’t. I’m just saying that...we can’t live in the past.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just want you to be your own person, Richie. Not who your parents beat you into being.” Eddie told him, frowning, “There was nothing wrong with who you were, Richie. Your parents just didn’t want to have a child with any personality because they didn’t have one. How the hell you came from them I still have no idea.”</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately, I don’t even know who I am. I know I’m good at this job. I know I’m awesome at being the Losers Club’s friend. Outside of that...as a person I have no idea.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well maybe we should hold off on some missions so you can have time to figure that out?” Eddie questioned, “Richie, it’s not good that you have no identity outside of those two things. I don’t—I don’t want you to regret our relationship-”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! No.” Richie said loudly, cutting Eddie off, “Things I don’t regret for a thousand, Alex, dating the love of my life. I’ve loved you for a decade, Eddie. If I’m sure of anything it’s that. This is the one thing I’ve decided myself to do. It isn’t something that Danny, Maggie or Went chose for me. I’ve always been sure about you, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie smiled at him as Richie pulled him into his lap. Kissing Eddie gently before pulling away and framing his face with his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you think your parents will do when they finally find us?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie frowned, “Honestly?”</p><p> </p><p>“Always.”</p><p> </p><p>“It won’t be pretty when they find us. There will be a lot of yelling on their end. How could I do this to our family name? How could I betray them? They won’t even hesitate to call me a failure of a son. To tell me that they hate me and I’m a disgrace. Maggie will start in on my weight, she knows that usually gets to me like...really bad.” Richie said, shifting just a little as Eddie frowned, “Then they’ll tell me that Danny has never been more disappointed by an operative. Then they’ll ask if Danny can call Neibolt a subsidiary branch of MATURIN. We’ll tell them no and that’s when they’ll leave and declare Neibolt a hostile operative branch. That’s when I’ll be dead to them...but not before they make me feel their anger.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jesus Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“You wanted honesty, Eds. That’s what will happen, I would bet money on it.” Richie said, leaning back and pulling Eddie with him, “They always hated when I did anything they didn’t want me to. If I went to the quarry with you guys it’d get me into so much trouble. Fuck, I still remember how scared I’d be to go home when I was still soaking wet. If we ever adopt a kid, I don’t want to be like my parents. If I start to become like them...do me a favor and just take me out, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Never...you could never be like that.” Eddie told him, “You’re the only good thing they’ve ever done. Everything after you being born is all you, not them. You’re such a good person, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, because good people kill others….torture them.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re doing that to get Patrick Hockstetter out of the picture. That is doing something good, dammit.” Eddie snapped, “Because fuck knows what he’ll do to other people if we keep him alive.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wonder sometimes if he’s done what he did to me to other people. Which is stupid because he obviously has.” Richie said, “And then I feel this stress and anxiety because what if we never kill him? What if he does this to other people? People that are younger than us, Eddie? Younger than I was the first time?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Stop that!” Eddie told him, kissing him, “Don’t think about that or him. Focus on me...we need to change the subject. You’re going to have a panic attack soon if we don’t. So what do you want to talk about? What do you want to do? What do we want to eat for dinner? I could make some spaghetti? You fucking love spaghetti. Or I could make a meatloaf? What if I did homemade mashed potatoes with them? Not the rehydrated crap? What sounds good to you?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Eddie and smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Meatloaf sounds amazing.” Richie told him, “So does the rest of it. Whatever you make I know I’ll eat.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to help?” Eddie asked, “We could put on some music? Or you could go and get us one of those awesome cakes from the bakery down the road?”</p><p> </p><p>“Or we could make and eat dinner and get something delivered for dessert?”</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect! What do you want to listen to?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care...you pick.” Richie told him gently, as Eddie just stared down at him, “Or...we could just get something delivered for dinner too and make out?”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you’re okay with that? We just had a heavy conversation.” Eddie asked, worried.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at Eddie and then away towards the balcony. Chewing on his bottom lip as he thought about how he didn’t deserve Eddie. The male asked more than anyone if he was okay with things. His parents and Danny hadn’t given a fuck about that.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick sure as hell hadn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“If you want, we could order food and watch a movie. Then if you want to make out we could?” Eddie suggested gently.</p><p> </p><p>“That works.” Richie said, smiling at Eddie who held his face carefully, “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just stupidly in love with you, Chee. And I just want you to know...if you ever have any doubts about yourself or think about doing something stupid please just talk to me. Or if not me, one of our friends. Your parents lied to you about how you look. They lied about how your personality sucked. I hate them for it too.” Eddie said softly, “But this, our relationship? I’m in it for the long haul. I want your good and bad days. If you don’t want to do something, vocalize it. I don’t care if I want to do it, okay? This is a two person relationship. Not a make Eddie happy one, alright?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just looked at him before kissing the male gently.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not a yes.” Eddie said, pulling away and staring at him, “Richie, do you understand what I’m saying?”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand that I have to vocalize what I want and not want. I understand that if I’m uncomfortable with something to let you know. I know that if I start having...body image issues to let you know. And if I feel like hurting myself, to let you know so you can help me through it.” Richie said, “I just...don’t understand why you’re settling for me.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked thunderous, “Excuse me? I’m <em>settling</em> for you? Richard Tozier, I am not settling for you. I’ve wanted you since I knew what that feeling meant. I’ve fucking pined for you for years. Why the fuck would you say that?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m obviously damaged, Eds.” Richie said, “I mean-”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up!” Eddie said, covering Richie’s mouth with his hand, “Don’t fucking talk about yourself like that, Richie. There is nothing wrong with you. We all have our issues. Do you think I’m damaged for freezing up when we have to deal with gray water? Or when I feel like I need my inhaler when I’m not asthmatic? Do you think any less of Ben for freaking out when he sees a fence post after he cut open by one by Winston? Do you think less of Bev when she has a split second freak out when a male gets too close that she doesn’t know? Do you think less of any of our friends and think they’re damaged for freaking out about their fears? You were <em>abused</em>, baby. For years on end you were told every single thing your parents deemed imperfections and you had no choice but to believe them. But I’m here to tell you, that you are <em>not</em> damaged. I am <em>not</em> settling for you. I want you...when are you going to believe me that you’re it for me? No one does it for me but you. I would fight, maim, kill and die for you Richie Tozier.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt tears burn his eyes as he tried to look away. Eddie not letting him as they fell slowly. Gasping softly when Eddie kissed each tear away. Leaning his forehead against Richie’s who held onto the male tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t leave me.” Richie whispered hoarsely, “Please don’t leave me, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not the plan...never the plan, Chee.” Eddie said, kissing him again, “I couldn’t leave you...you mean too much to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sniffled as Eddie pulled back.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want for food? You’re pick tonight.” Eddie said, seeing Richie’s face, “I’m not fighting you on this. You’re going to start picking things that you want. Not what you think I want. What do you, Richie, want to eat tonight?”</p><p> </p><p>“Um...I don’t know.” Richie said softly, “We could get burgers?”</p><p> </p><p>“Burgers it is!” Eddie declared.</p><p> </p><p>If it was the last thing Eddie did he would help Richie through his trauma and abuse. He knew that it would time and dedication but he had all the time in the world for his boyfriend. He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.</p><p> </p><p>Making a note to talk to the others about just how far the abuse went when Richie was younger. He knew it’d take more than just him to help Richie with his body issues. With his boyfriend trying to gauge if he could have a personality like before.</p><p> </p><p>The smile on Richie’s face was worth the strong words and frustration when they’d ordered the food. Eddie was determined to see that particular smile more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie makes a decision and breaks protocol in the same mission.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stan didn’t understand why every single time they went into the field lately it turned into a shit show. He knew, reasonably, that it had nothing to do with who was in the field versus not. However, that didn’t stop him from tackling Richie when a knife was thrown at him. A simple kill mission...that’s all this was supposed to be. And yes, they’d killed the target but FLAGG had shown up and it had become anarchy.</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him in shock as Stan shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie, Stan, do you need back up?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie grit his teeth, “Negative, babe.”</p><p> </p><p>Grabbing the AK-74 with the grenade launcher attachment. Jerking Stan over to his other side as he reloaded both the launcher and clip. Taking a deep breath as he heard gunshots overhead.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, think about what you’re about to do.” Stan said cautiously.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What does he need to think about doing? Richie, what are you doing?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie waiting for the gun to light up blue, acknowledging his finger prints before smirking at Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“Stay down.” Richie said, “I think it’s about time we sent FLAGG a message.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What kind of message?” Beverly asked, her voice squeaking.</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie stood up and started shooting to scare the FLAGG operatives into the room they’d killed their target in. Watching as one by one they fled into the room. Richie moving towards the room as he kept his shots measured and aimed so the hostiles wouldn’t have time to reload. Moving to the grenade launcher attachment and shooting one into the room. Slamming the doors shot and shoving a metal pole holding the family crest through the door handles. Running and jumping over the table; grabbing Stan and running out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you fucking kidding me, Richie?” Stan yelled, as they ran downstairs.</p><p> </p><p>Richie switching to his pistol with the silencer. Shooting a guard in the head before grabbing the other by the shirt and headbutting him.</p><p> </p><p>The explosion hit loud and hard as they both lost footing.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What the fuck is going on in there?” Eddie yelled in their ear.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Stan! Stan are you okay?” Mike asked.</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie shooting the male in the head as he jerked Stan forward. It was easy to avoid guards on the way in since they’d climbed in through a window. However with the guards on the grounds it’d be impossible to go back the same way.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine but Richie threw caution to the fucking wind! We’ll need to wipe the cameras.” Stan said, shooting a guard as Richie ran for the two down the hall.</p><p> </p><p>Ducking behind a wall as he reloaded his gun; smiling at an obviously uncomfortable Stan before shooting at the two guards. When they dropped Stan rushed over to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Why didn’t we just follow the plan?”</p><p> </p><p>“Plan went out the window when FLAGG showed up.” Richie said, obviously distracted as he turned and shot another guard in the head, “Come on Stan, it’s like you’ve never been in the field before.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not like this! This feels like a fucking raid.”</p><p> </p><p>“We knew it was a chance we’d have to take the guards out.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Which we could’ve probably avoided if you hadn’t used a fucking grenade!” Stan shouted.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah well, I got rid of the FLAGG operatives.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan just stared at the back of Richie’s head like he’d lost his mind. Leaving the mansion as they rushed down the stairs. Richie turning with the AK-74 to cover their backs as Stan rushed to the gate. Opening it as they left the grounds.</p><p> </p><p>Both of them getting into the car that Beverly was driving. Eddie was in a van four blocks away with Bill, Mike and Ben. Beverly sped off as Stan took deep breaths from the back seat.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Stan screamed, “What the fuck possessed you to fucking launch a grenade? That literally brought people to us that weren’t necessary!”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan-”</p><p> </p><p>Stan pulled his mask off and tossed it on the floor board.</p><p> </p><p>“No! You have been acting fucking weird since Eddie was shot!” Stan snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Excuse me?” Eddie asked.</em></p><p> </p><p>Stan yanking his comm out of his ear and glaring at Beverly and Richie until they did the same. All three turning them off after Beverly said they’d rendezvous at the air field.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what you mean, Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean that you’ve been acting like you’re invincible in the field. And you’re doing stupid shit that is drawing more attention to us. What is going on with you? Like what the fuck! We were trained to be smarter than this in the field, fuck you’ve been trained better than this since you were like six.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie winced and looked down as Beverly broke hard; all of them jostling as she turned and hit Stan upside the head.</p><p> </p><p>“Tact, asshole.” Beverly snapped, “And he did what was necessary to send a message to FLAGG to stop interfering on our missions.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck! Beverly!”</p><p> </p><p>“You deserve it.” Beverly said, slapping Richie upside the head as he yelped, “And he’s right, you drew unnecessary attention to yourselves. You could have just shot the hostiles.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes well, I wanted to make sure that FLAGG understood the blast they had with us.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly and Stan both gaped at the pun as Richie clicked the safety on both his pistols and the AK-74.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie! That’s a terrible thing to say.” Beverly said.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I lie?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly started to drive again with a shake of her head.</p><p> </p><p>“What is going on with you?” Stan asked, “We’re your friends, Rich. You can tell us anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nothing. I just figured there’d be no misinterpreting how they find them.” Richie said, as Beverly stared at him.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re trying to draw Patrick out, aren’t you?” Beverly asked, “Because you know...just like we do...that Randall will send out Henry’s team because they’re the most lethal team he has. So the next mission we go on-”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll let FLAGG go in first, determine if it’s Patrick or not. If it is then we’ll ambush them and take Patrick captive.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Captive? I thought the idea was to kill him.” Stan said, “Richie, you should’ve told us your plan before doing it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was a split second decision.” Richie told them, “And I just—I’ll kill Patrick but I just want...to dish out a little of what he gave to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“You want to torture him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, is that so crazy?” Richie asked, seeing the looks on their faces, “He spent <em>days</em> torturing me. Hours raping me, so yeah I’d kind of like to make him scream a little bit myself. I figured that’d be just about fucking square.”</p><p> </p><p>“Two wrongs-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stanley! I love you like a brother but if you fucking talk down to me about what I went through I might shoot you.” Richie shouted, “You don’t <em>know</em> what this feels like okay? To always look over your shoulder. Wondering if he could get me a third time. You don’t get how fucking filthy I feel before I take a fucking shower even if I’m not physically dirty. You don’t understand how fucking crazy it makes me feel to know that Eddie still wants me even knowing I’m used goods-”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, you aren’t used goods! You aren’t fucking dirty either.” Beverly said, looking at him in horror.</p><p> </p><p>“But that’s what it <em>feels like</em>, Bev. I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes knowing that Patrick is still alive. And how many people he’s hurt because I couldn’t take him out-”</p><p> </p><p>“That isn’t on you.” Stan said loudly, his own voice breaking, “Holy shit, Richie...how have you been carrying this around? Why didn’t you tell us?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just—emotions were seen as a weakness in the Tozier household. Therefore you don’t speak about them. You keep your mouth shut and you deal with it.” Richie recited monotonously, “That’s the way I was raised, Stan. I <em>have</em> to do this. For my own peace of mind. And I’d really like it if my best friends didn’t judge me for it. I just—there’s so many things I want to do to hurt him. Because there’s been this ache in my chest for <em>years </em>now that was going away until he caught Roland. And now it’s like a fucking open wound. And it’s festering because I want to be able to have sex with Eddie but I can’t until Patrick is fucking gone. Do you know what that feels like? Feeling like you can’t have that kind of bond with someone because you’re terrified? I’m terrified that Patrick will use Eddie against me. That I’ll hurt Eddie if Patrick is still alive. Like he’ll fucking know. So yeah, I wanted to send FLAGG a message that would make Randall fucking Flagg send out his best. I am so <em>sick</em> of feeling like this. No amount of therapy helps. No amount of times that Eddie can tell me I’m beautiful and amazing that will make me feel <em>wrong</em>. The only thing that feels like will help is me doing this.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly and Stan exchanged glances in the mirror before Stan cleared his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“You really think this will help you?” Stan asked seriously.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. Because I’ll be taking power and control back from him.” Richie reasoned, “Everything that happens between me and him, I’ll be in control of. And Stan, I know that you’ll hate me for it, but I need it.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan hugged Richie from the back seat.</p><p> </p><p>“I could <em>never</em> hate you.” Stan told him seriously, “And I could never judge you for doing something for your own good. If you think this will help then we’ll make sure it happens. I just...don’t want this to break you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t break something that’s already broken.” Richie said, feeling Stan flinch, “The only compassion I feel is for you guys….our team. Outside of that everyone else is canon fodder. Even the other teams at Neibolt. I’ll work with them, be friends with them. I don’t love them...not like I love you guys. I think that’s what Patrick broke.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh Rich.” Beverly said, as her phone lit up again with a call, “We’ll help you. All of us will, you just have to let us in.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s hard when every time I wanted to before I got told by my parents that I was a disgrace.”</p><p> </p><p>“How many times do we have to say <em>fuck your parents</em>.” Stan sighed, “You’ll be okay, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Forever.” Richie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I can do that.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie leaned back into Stan who kissed his temple. Beverly taking his hand before pushing her knee against the steering wheel to keep them steady as she answered her phone and put it on speaker.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What the fuck? Your comms are off!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“We had to have a talk.” Beverly said, “We’re five minutes from the air field.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Is everything okay?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Yeah Eds, we’re fine.” Richie said, “Stan just wanted to know why I used the grenade launcher.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>And that meant cutting off communication with the rest of our team?” Eddie asked, an edge in his voice, “We were worried about you two when we knew that FLAGG was in there. You didn’t think to maybe not have the conversation later?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“He was upset, Eddie.” Beverly told him, “We know it wasn’t protocol-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You’re right it wasn’t protocol! What if our cover had been blown? What if yours had? That is so fucking irresponsible holy shit.” Eddie said quickly, “We don’t just turn comms off guys! Ben’s over here halfway to a panic attack and Bill isn’t much better! Especially when you didn’t answer your phones!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, I’m sorry.” Stan said, “I just got really mad. I felt like how Richie handled the situation was bad.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Well it wasn’t. I would’ve done the same. FLAGG operatives-”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I already told Stan and Bev I did it so we could lure Patrick’s team out.”</p><p> </p><p>The line was quiet for a minute and Richie knew Eddie was pissed.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You <b>what</b>? I figured you wanted to send a message. I didn’t know you were trying to bait a psychopath!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Technically it’s his team too so that’s like...five psychopaths.” Beverly pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>“<em><b>Thanks</b> Beverly. Okay, we are going to discuss this.” Eddie told them, “As a team, we’re going to talk about when it’s best to let others in on a half thought out plan. Because Richie, I don’t think you thought this through, babe. And we have to talk about strategies-”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I did think it through. I want to capture Patrick and torture him before I kill him. If that means waiting to see if FLAGG is on the same mission as us then fine. I’m sick of us waiting to get a trail. Montana didn’t give us jack shit.” Richie snapped, “I’m sick of waiting, period. So if that means doing things my way then so be it.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You don’t get to decide for the whole team, Richie. We’ll talk about this on the plane.” Eddie said, “We’ll figure it out as a team.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“You can’t honestly be mad at me for doing something you just said you’d do.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>To send a message that a new company was in town. Not to draw out the person who hurt you in the hopes that they don’t get the jump on us first.” Eddie told him, “Again, we’ll talk about this in a minute. I see you guys pulling up.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Eddie hung up as Richie stared at the two in the car. Beverly grabbing her phone and shoving it in her jacket pocket. Stan leaned down and grabbed his mask.</p><p> </p><p>“That could have gone worse.” Richie said, as Stan laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“We have a four hour plane ride with them. They’re all four going to rip us a new ass.” Stan said, “Eddie worst of all because he was concerned about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just went with Stan’s request.” Richie snorted, putting his hands up, “We can feed him to the wolves, Bev.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh that’s actually a good idea.” Beverly joked, as Stan gaped at them in the back seat, “It was your idea, Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you both, you know protocol just as much as me.” Stan said, “Which they’ll all mention.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll claim you threatened to take me bird hunting.” Richie told him, as Stan gaped at him.</p><p> </p><p>“You said you <em>liked</em> bird watching.” Stan said, “And it isn’t bird hunting, why the fuck would we do that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan, sweetheart, it’s a joke. We’re joking right now.” Beverly told him, as Stan just stared at them, “You can’t say either of us is the dumb one anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>Pulling to a stop as Eddie turned to look at them. The glare that was set on his seat made Richie want to tell Beverly to put the car in reverse and go back.</p><p> </p><p>“Ready to take our lecture like men?” Richie asked, staring at Beverly, “And women.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, don’t do that to me. I’m getting an Eddie Kaspbrak lecture, I’ll die like a man just like the two of you.” Beverly told him, frowning, “Let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>The three of them climbed out of the car. Wary of how still Eddie was but still seeing how fierce the glare was. He just turned and led them into the jet. The three friends looked at each other before all trying to make sure someone else went first.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re co-leader.” Beverly hissed, “You’re supposed to protect me and Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Guys, get in here!” Mike snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God, we’re going to die.” Stan whined, “Even Mike is mad.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well it was nice knowing you Red, Stan the Man.” Richie said, straightening up, “I’m just going to get this over with.”</p><p> </p><p>Leading them up the steps as they looked at the four men sitting in their seats across from each other. Eddie motioned for them to sit. Richie going and sitting at the couch beside the chairs. Bev sitting in the middle while Stan took the other side. The door shutting as the quiet set in.</p><p> </p><p>“So I don’t think I have to say that we’re pissed.” Ben said pointedly, “You three ignored protocol and turned your comms off while still on mission. Surely whatever you-”</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, you’re still being too fucking nice.” Eddie said, sitting forward and glaring at the three of them, “You three are irresponsible and unprofessional. You could have talked about it in private at home instead of fucking jeopardizing the mission. We were still actively in a mission. What the fuck kind of decision was that? Richie, you know better as co-leader! I can’t even be fully mad at Stan and Beverly because you fucking <em>know</em> better! We’re supposed to set the standard that our team works by! And you just turned off your fucking comm! Even though we’ve had both MATURIN and FLAGG operatives the last two missions. But what the fuck, who gives a shit about that right? Because you three needed to fucking <em>talk</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“No! You scared the shit out of the four of us. You didn’t answer your phones or come back onto the comms. We were scared shitless! We always communicate with each other, no exceptions! You guys know that! And with Richie’s history…we were terrified something like that would happen to you guys. And to not even get an answer to our calls...like what the fuck!”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re so sorry, Eddie.” Richie said, “Stan was upset because he felt like what I was doing was too risky. And also because I was trying to draw Patrick out-”</p><p> </p><p>“Which is something else we need to discuss.” Mike told him, “You need to communicate things like that to us! You can’t just make that decision, Richie. Especially when it concerns your safety.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think that makes it entirely my decision.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not when the last time we encountered him he shot Eddie out of a building.”</p><p> </p><p>“To send a message to me.” Richie said tightly, “That if I tried to date Eddie it would get him killed. He’s after me you guys. If we don’t launch a trap then I’m scared he’ll...I’m scared he’ll get athe jump on me again. And I really don’t want to deal with that, okay? I’m going to be alright but I don’t think I can handle a third time. Stop looking at me like that!”</p><p> </p><p>All of their faces had softened; Richie guessing that some of them hadn’t thought about it like that before. Hadn’t considered that he had a real fear of being taken again by Patrick. However, he did and he really didn’t want to deal with that.</p><p> </p><p>Because while he wouldn’t say it out loud, he was positive a third time would kill him. And he wasn’t sure he’d want to stay alive if it meant failing at protecting himself a third time.</p><p> </p><p>“Irregardless, you have to communicate to us what your plan is and we have to agree. We don’t have a choice now so all we can do is go with it. So we’ll try to protect you as much as we can.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you guys aren’t off the hook for turning your comms off. We could have all had that discussion here, where we were safe.” Bill said, “So learn from this, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“We will.” Stan said.</p><p> </p><p>“And we won’t do it again, promise.” Beverly added.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah guys, we’re really sorry.” Richie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Just don’t do it again, okay?” Bill asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at the table and ignored the others’ eyes as they all started talking about other things. Focusing on not panicking because he had just sent a message. One that would definitely send Patrick to get whoever took out one of Randall’s team.</p><p> </p><p>Standing up from his spot on the couch and going to a seat towards the back; ignoring the looks on the other’s faces as he sat down and put his head in his hands. He needed some time alone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie trains while Eddie gives him the cold shoulder.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie knew that Eddie was still angry with him. His boyfriend hadn’t spoken to them at home in forty-eight hours. So with that in mind, Richie was spending more time at headquarters training the new recruits. Georgie was visiting Bill but had had to get to Philadelphia in the most complicated way ever. Bill’s parents knew that Georgie wanted to visit his brother, but instead of flying to Philadelphia he had gone to Boston then taken another flight under a different name to Philadelphia.</p><p> </p><p>Slamming Mike into the mat as his cousin groaned softly. Georgie watching with curious eyes as Bill finished up his meeting with Adrian and Don on when his brother could start.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re leaving your right side open to attack.” Richie told his cousin, who winced when he stood up, “Do you need a break?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Mike said, “You never took one, so I don’t either. We’re family right?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie winced, “I’m not the best example at healthy behavior, Mike. The whole Tozier family thing isn’t as important here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, but I don’t want to disappoint you.” Mike told him, “I looked up to you when we were growing up. My parents told me you were the best example of discipline and strength.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m...really not.” Richie said, “And Mike, you could never disappoint me. Failure is an inevitability in this business. Even I’ve failed, so be aware of that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I’m just...my parents are riding me a little. Aunt Maggie asked them where I was.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what did they say?”</p><p> </p><p>“I...didn’t tell them where I was. And every time they call I encrypt my signal so they can’t trace it. So they’re a little pissed at me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, does your whole team do that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...I mean, Stan made it clear to us that we needed to get away from how awful MATURIN was to all of us and we agreed. Which meant cutting out our family. It’s not like it’s a real issue. My parents wanted me to be just like you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled Mike into a hug, “You don’t want to be like me, Mike. You want to be yourself. That’s why Will loves you. It’s why your team respects you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, but it’s only human to have heroes right?” Mike asked, as his phone rang, “Shit, what time is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Almost four.” Georgie told them, as Mike cursed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m late for Lucas’ birthday! Shit!” Mike said, “Same time tomorrow, Richie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” Richie told him, as Mike ran and grabbed his bag.</p><p> </p><p>Booking it out the door as Georgie stood up and walked over to Richie. The young Denbrough frowning as Richie moved to the punching bag.</p><p> </p><p>“So what was that about?” Georgie asked, “You seemed really angry about the fact that Mike sees you as an idol.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because someone that’s been captured and tortured twice shouldn’t be an idol.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s his decision to make, not yours. Make you’re his idol because of the fact that you went through that and you’re stronger than ever.” Georgie told him logically, “I look up to you but that’s because you haven’t let your parents ruin you for friendship and love. Keep in mind, I remember when you’d come over to sleepovers, <em>finally</em>, but you’d have bruises. And I never told Billy because you asked me not to. Because you didn’t want to worry them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Georgie-”</p><p> </p><p>“You and the others are why I want to do this rather than go to college and do a job I’m going to hate.” Georgie shrugged, “I’m also happy that you and Eddie finally got together. That was getting a little annoying.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed, “I’m glad you approve, little Denbrough. So how is life with your parents?”</p><p> </p><p>“They tell me they don’t want me to be like Bill. They don’t even know what he does but they just think he’s gallivanting around America on a whim. Even though he’s told them that he’s working for a private company. But because he can’t talk about his work they think he’s wasting his life.”</p><p> </p><p>“So how are you going to break it to them that you’re going to work here?”</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly? I don’t know.” Georgie sighed, “”I wish Bill could be there to break the news but I know that that is really dangerous.”</p><p> </p><p>“If we plan it right and use our fake names it’ll be fine.” Richie told him, “When’s your graduation?”</p><p> </p><p>“May eighteenth.” Georgie said, “Can you guys come?”</p><p> </p><p>“That might be harder.” Richie said, “Because my parents will be invited so they’ll know it may be something we’ll try to go to. That being said, we can send Bill at the very least and video call. We can have him in a legitimate disguise.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, little Denbrough.” Richie smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“So where’s Eddie been?” Georgie asked, as Richie went to his bag and pulled a towel out, “I figured with the two of you together you’d be stuck at the hip.”</p><p> </p><p>“We had a small fight.” Richie frowned, “It’ll be fine though. I’m sure of that much.”</p><p> </p><p>Even if he wasn’t sure about much he was about that. Wiping his face off as he frowned at the younger male.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you going to be okay?” Georgie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Always am, Georgie.” Richie smiled at him, “I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry!” Bill said, coming off the elevator, “I didn’t think that was going to take so long.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine. I watched Richie train with his cousin.”</p><p> </p><p>“How fun.” Bill teased, “So how does Chinese sound?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds fine with me.” Georgie smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Great! I figured it could just be the two of us tonight for dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine if you want to invite Stan and Mike.”</p><p> </p><p>“I want to spend time one on one with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess that’s alright.” Georgie joked, “I’ll talk to you later, Richie. Don’t work too hard.”</p><p> </p><p>“Later little Denbrough.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie watched them leave before putting the towel down and going back to the punching bag. Hitting it and dodging the bag when it swung his way.</p><p> </p><p>Everything felt off after the last mission. Richie didn’t know if it was because Eddie was still upset with him or what. It made him feel off kilter. Like he idn’t know what to do.</p><p> </p><p>It was the same way he felt the last time he and Eddie had fought. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just handle it. Something about disappointing Eddie or any of his team he took so hard. Because he was so used to doing it to his parents...Danny but not his family. Not his team that he’d do anything for.</p><p> </p><p>Grabbing the bag and holding onto it as he leaned his forehead against it. Taking a deep breath before pushing off of it.</p><p> </p><p>Going and grabbing his bag and hoisting it onto his shoulder. He was going to head to his apartment. Eddie had been staying at his apartment since the soundproofing had been completed early. However, Richie didn’t want to deal with another night of silence. Of Eddie giving him the cold shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Taking his gloves off in the elevator and putting them in the bag before zipping it up. Jerking his car keys out and leaning against the metal.</p><p> </p><p>He was going to shower and sleep. Looking at himself in the metal reflection before looking away. All appetite he’d had throughout the last few days had all but evaporated. Walking out of the building and to his car as he threw his bag into the backseat. Sliding into the driver’s seat and sitting there for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>Chewing on his bottom lip before turning some music on. He was trying to give Eddie space. Was trying to respect boundaries. It was hard though when he felt like he’d failed his boyfriend. He knew it wasn’t the smartest thing to turn the comms off but he’d done it anyways.</p><p> </p><p>Parking and going into the apartment complex. Going up the steps because the elevator was broken. He didn’t want to deal with anything right now. Letting himself into his apartment and tossing the bag on the ground. Going into the kitchen and tossing his phone down. Grabbing a glass and filling it with water and drinking it. It was so quiet; he missed the banter with Eddie. With Eddie there it never seemed like it was quiet.</p><p> </p><p>His phone ringing made him look down. Stan’s name showing on the screen as he answered.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up, Stan?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner with me. Bill’s going out with Georgie and Mike is going out with Bev and Ben.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Also known as Stan was worried and knew that he and Eddie weren’t talking.</p><p> </p><p>“We can if you want.” Richie said, “I need to shower and change. I just got done training.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>That’s all you’ve been doing lately.” Stan said, “But I do want to get dinner with you and hang out. We can meet at five thirty at my place?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good to me.” Richie told him, “Everything okay, Stan?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I feel like I should be asking you that. Have you spoken to Eddie at all?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“He hasn’t really given me an opportunity to. When I was in the apartment with him he locked himself in the guest bedroom. So you know, that really made me hopeful.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Maybe give it another day?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“We have a mission tomorrow.” Richie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yeah! Basic retrieval mission but it still means he has to talk to you.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“The way you look at it and the way I do is baffling to me.” Richie snorted, “I have to train with Mike first but then we can head out after. Do it under the cover of night.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>That works. I’ll text the others and let them know. But seriously, Richie. He can’t stay mad at you forever.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I mean, you know how Eddie can get. He was mad at me for a month and didn’t talk to me the whole time. So he can hold a grudge better than anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Doesn’t mean he will.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Doesn’t mean he won’t either.” Richie said, “But I need to shower now if you were serious about food.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Fine, I’ll see you in an hour.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie hung up and tossed his phone on the counter before going to the bathroom. Turning the shower on as he stared at himself in the mirror. Running a hand through his hair as he got undressed and hopped in. Letting the water run down his back as he leaned against the tile.</p><p> </p><p>He was going to focus on having fun with Stan tonight. It wasn’t often that he and Stan got to hang out by themselves anymore. It was usually either in training or nights like this when the others were busy. That wasn’t to say that they couldn’t hang out if they weren’t it was just easier.</p><p> </p><p>Cleaning himself off as he closed his eyes. Letting the water rinse off the soap before turning it off. Grabbing his towel and drying off before heading into his room. Looking at his clothes and frowning at them.</p><p> </p><p>Grabbing a gray henley with black jeans. Tugging his favorite leather jacket out and getting dressed. The door opening as Richie leaned forward from buttoning his pants.</p><p> </p><p>“Stan, that you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah! I figured I’d come by early.” Stan said, coming down the hallway, “The others are good with the plan. Except Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie snorted, as he pulled on one of his shoes, “And what did Eddie say?”</p><p> </p><p>“That he wanted to leave earlier than that but he guessed he would have to wait until later. Then he said something about how you needed to communicate to him as co-leader what the plan is instead of talking to me about it. Which was offensive and he apologized for but said the point still stood.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great, so he’s even more pissed.” Richie sighed, “I swear if I could do anything right I’d die of the shock.” Richie said, shoving his foot in the other boot.</p><p> </p><p>Stan frowned, “You do a lot right, Richie. He’s just still upset and needs so more time to get over it. To be fair, I was the one that told you to turn your comm off. So I guess-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t say you’re sorry. Eddie could get the fuck over it but he’s worried. Which is fine, he’s allowed to be. It just sucks is all. We were in a good place and it just kind of...fell apart.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll get there again. He can’t stay mad at you forever.” Stan said, “Come on, we’ve got food to go find.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can we go shopping too?” Richie asked, “If that’s okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie watched Stan tilt his head to the side.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong with the clothes you have?”</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to add a few things to make them feel more like me and not the picture perfect image my parents wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go.” Stan smiled, “We can get food first and after shopping we can get some of those cupcakes from the bakery on Arch.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds fucking stupendous.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan laughed, “You’re the only asshole I know that uses that word unironically.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not my fault everyone else has a terrible vocabulary. I was valedictorian, I should remind you guys of that sometimes.” Richie laughed, “Even if my parents didn’t show up to graduation.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan winced, “Rich, stop thinking about them. We’re free of them and MATURIN.”</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t feel like it sometimes. It feels like...they’re letting us.” Richie said slowly, “Which I know sounds stupid it’s just they’ve literally controlled my whole life. So how couldn’t they control this too?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because they aren’t. Literally we’re monitoring people’s contacts outside of Neibolt. If we have a mole we’ll find them and handle them.” Stan said, as Richie grabbed his wallet and keys.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope so.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well I know so and as everyone knows, I’m the brain to your brawn.” Stan smiled, “Now stop thinking about work and let’s go have fun.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled and let himself get pulled out of his apartment by Stan. He could always rely on Stan to get him out of his head. The male had become a professional at it by now. Going to Stan’s car as they climbed in; Richie fiddling with the music immediately as Stan started driving. Richie relaxing in the passenger seat as his friend weaved through cars. Whenever Bill and Mike were in the car with the male he tended to drive slower. Because Mike didn’t like speeding and Bill didn’t like the recklessness. When he was in the car with Richie he sped like a demon.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling up to the restaurant as they got out of the car. Heading inside and taking their seats. In the few weeks they’d been in Philadelphia they’d already found places that they would consider their regular places. It brought a familiarity to it that Richie needed. He felt so off kilter being in a different city that wasn’t Los Angeles.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what is your plan for the weekend?” Stan asked, sipping his drink.</p><p> </p><p>“I had originally planned to take Eddie to this exhibit he wanted to see. Even got tickets for it but I doubt he’ll be talking to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not with that attitude he won’t. Just ask him Richie, the worst he can say is no. And if he says no then take someone else.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh like that’ll go over real well.” Richie snorted.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t complain about it unless you do something about it.” Stan said, staring at him, “You and Eddie have been inseparable since you met even moreso after we started MATURIN. He’ll get over this, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie thought about and nodded his head as they ordered their food. Another reason he loved hanging out with Stan is because he also gave great relationship advice. Considering he’d been with Mike and Bill since they’d been thirteen. He could say a lot about Stan but he couldn’t say the man didn’t know what he wanted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Chapter 37</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie would like things to go right just once.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie had insisted on going in alone. Stan could be in the perimeter as back up but he didn’t think it was necessary to have him in the building. That and he knew that it still upset Eddie to be benched. Going into the room in the house and looking around for the portrait that had the safe behind it. Richie knew that Eddie was also still pissed off. It was radio silence unless he was checking in. The only one to talk to him being Stan.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>ETA?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Ten minutes.” Richie told Stan, looking behind each portrait and frowning, “What’s the portrait?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Um...I think it was a landscape of a snowy mountain.” Stan said, “Eddie, what’s the portrait?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Nothing came from the male as Richie stopped in the middle of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s no snowy mountain. I have a portrait of the family, one of a lighthouse and there’s one of a horse.” Richie told him, “Unless I’m in the wrong office.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>There’s only one office.” Stan said, “Repeat, Eddie what’s the portrait?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie felt a headache coming on when his boyfriend didn’t answer.</p><p> </p><p>“S, just go and check on them. Make sure it’s not faulty equipment. I’ll keep searching for the portrait. We need to have contact with mission control.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Are you sure? That leaves you a little vulnerable.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be fine.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Roger that, I’ll go check. Keep talking to me, R.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to remind you of that later.” Richie laughed, as he looked behind the last portrait.</p><p> </p><p>A bad feeling settling in his stomach as he took a few steps back.</p><p> </p><p>There wasn’t a safe behind any of the portraits. Maybe he had the wrong room then? Heading into the bedroom and starting to look behind the pictures in there as well. It was a small six by six safe that only held money and some jewelry. Their client had their pearl necklace stolen and they were just retrieving it.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing as he let the last picture fall to the wall. The only other room upstairs was aguest bedroom. Heading to it before he heard Stan mutter darkly.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up, R?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>There’s no equipment malfunction. Eddie is just being a brat and teaching us a lesson. He turned the other comms off as well.” Stan said, anger tinting his voice, “Otherwise they others would’ve been talking to us as well.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Richie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>While turning your comms off while going to the rendezvous was dangerous what Eddie was doing...could get someone killed.</p><p> </p><p>And considering Richie was out in the field…</p><p> </p><p>Well needless to say his boyfriend was still furious.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie are you okay?” Stan asked, “I can head back. You’re looking for a snowy mountain landscape portrait.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie took a deep breath and shoved his emotions in to a box. Focusing on the mission like his parents had trained him. Going into the guest bedroom and looking around.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, who is the person that gave us the information?” Richie asked, frustrated, “There’s no mountains.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It was a….hold on. Richard Fannin.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Richie froze as his eyes widened.</p><p> </p><p>“Richard...Fannin?” Richie repeated slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yeah, why?” Stan asked.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Abort mission. Immediate extraction to rendezvous, alpha zeta fifteen.” Richie snapped, as he got out of the room quickly, “Get in the fucking vehicle S.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Wait why? What’s wrong?” Beverly asked.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie-”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Richard Fanning is one of Randall Flagg’s aliases.” Richie told them, “When did we find that out?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>About two hours ago. We didn’t know!” Ben said, “How do you know that?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Danny wanted me to know every single alias for Randall Flagg and Robert Gray.” Richie said, freezing at the stairs, “Oh fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick stood at the base of the stairs with Henry on one side and Vic on the other. The smile on Patrick’s face terrified Richie if he was entirely honest. It meant he had the upper hand somehow.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Why oh fuck?” Beverly asked, “Richie-”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I need you guys to break protocol.” Richie almost whispered, “I need back up, right now...please...guys. I can’t—”</p><p> </p><p>He had thought he was over the anxiety and panic at seeing Patrick. Had thought he had moved onto anger for what the man had done to him. How could he have been so fucking wrong?</p><p> </p><p>Backing up and turning as he ran into someone. Feeling his blood run like ice as he stared at the male in horror.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What are we walking into, Richie?” Mike asked.</em></p><p> </p><p>“FLAGG.” Richie said, “Patrick, Henry and Vic are downstairs...I’m upstairs with Robert Gray.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What?” Eddie shrieked.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Guys...I need help.” Richie told them, as Gray pulled out his weapon.</p><p> </p><p>A fence post that looked more rusted than new.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We’re en route, Richie. Two minutes.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have two minutes.” Richie whispered, before vaulting himself over the banister to get downstairs.</p><p> </p><p>Landing on his feet and falling to the side as he caught himself on a hallway table. Moving to run as his hair was grabbed. He yelped as he was jerked back. Scratching the wrist as he tried to get a grip on it as he was shoved into the wall. His head getting slammed into it as he groaned softly. Hearing a soft chuckle next to his ear.</p><p> </p><p>“I was just hoping MATURIN would send you.”</p><p> </p><p>Holy shit...he thought they were still with Danny. Richie didn’t know if that was good or not.</p><p> </p><p>“Now Patrick, be careful with him. Randall wants him alive.” Gray said, coming down the stairs with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Hilarious, considering last time he wanted me dead.” Richie said, gasping in pain when his head was slammed into the wall again.</p><p> </p><p>“Things change, alliances shift.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Richie, we’re almost there!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’m pinned, literally.” Richie told them, before Patrick ripped his comm out and dropped it to the floor before stomping on it.</p><p> </p><p>A knife went to his throat as he was pulled off the wall before he could react. The door being kicked open as Eddie came in first with the rest of the Losers filing in after him. When he said back up he hadn’t meant all six of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Let him go, Patrick.” Eddie snapped, eyes blazing as he glared at the male hatefully.</p><p> </p><p>“Aw but I found him first, Eds.” Patrick said, “Plus my boss wants a one on one conversation with him. We’ll return him to you just as you see him now. We just need to know if he knows anything about the senseless killing of one of our teams.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can save you the trip.” Richie said, jerking against him before the knife dug into his skin, “If you’re talking about that grenade that I took to your team I did it. And I’d do it again because if got you here.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick laughed, “So you wanted to see me, <em>Chee</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie cringed at the nickname; seeing Eddie’s eyes flicker with something. His boyfriend’s grip tightening on the gun. Richie put both his hands on the arm that Patrick was holding the knife with. Stan and he had planned for this. Had thought something bad could happen and just in case—just in case scenarios were how the Losers Club worked and existed.</p><p> </p><p>Moving slowly as Patrick’s attention stayed on Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s it like, Eds?”</p><p> </p><p>“What what like, Patrick?” Eddie asked, as they kept their guns focused on the FLAGG operatives.</p><p> </p><p>Gray’s hands were up but even Richie knew they couldn’t trust it. Henry and Vic both looked put out as Richie took a deep breath. Pulling a small needle out; filled with just enough tranquilizer to knock Patrick out.</p><p> </p><p>“Knowing that I had him first.” Patrick taunted as Richie closed his eyes in shame.</p><p> </p><p>The same taunts and insults that had been spewed at him, hitting him all at once as he felt his eyes burn. Shaking just a little bit as the feeling of <em>dirtiness </em>and <em>wrong</em> swept through him.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know because I don’t care.” Eddie snapped, “What matters is that I have him now and he is mine, Hockstetter. Don’t get it twisted, just because you forced him into it doesn’t mean he enjoyed it. No matter what you did or what you fucking say. And he is <em>mine</em>. So once more, let him go or you’re going to make me mad. And that wouldn’t do good for anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sticking the needle in and pushing down as Patrick jerked back. Richie feeling a hot flash of pain as he felt the man behind him drop. Stan and Bill moving quickly as they shot the remaining three FLAGG members. Richie felt the left side of his neck and felt that it was wet. Knowing he’d been cut just a little as he moved forward. His legs felt like jelly; his entire body numb as he watched Mike and Ben move quickly to grab Patrick after Stan barked at them to move.</p><p> </p><p>Stan intercepted him before Eddie could even talk. Taking Richie by the arm and leading him out of the house. Richie’s nerves getting him to the fence before his knees gave way. Stan taking his weight with a grunt and leading him down the sidewalk. Richie focused on the cement and the cool breeze. The smell of a fire being maintained somewhere. Feeling like he was going to have terrible flashbacks in mere moments as they made it to the car. Richie being put in the very back as he turned on the bench. Pulling his knees up and folding into himself as he shook. He had been vastly outnumbered and if Stan hadn’t gone to check the equipment he could’ve been in real trouble. If the team hadn’t gotten there when they had—</p><p> </p><p>Whimpering when he closed his eyes tightly. Feeling the air in his chest constrict with his heart as he tried to focus on the things he could feel, hear, see, taste and smell. Hearing someone getting thrown into the trunk as it was slammed. Hearing the others get in the car as he heard Stan barking at someone to get one of the cells prepped.</p><p> </p><p>He thought back to the last time he’d been Patrick’s hostage.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Patrick had been circling him; Richie hanging from the pillar. Anytime the male came too close Richie would kick out at him. It had become a game for Patrick; one that Richie always lost no matter how hard he fought. His leg being caught as Patrick pushed up against him. A laugh escaping the male as Richie felt his breath on his face.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You lost again.” Patrick breathed, cutting into Richie’s arm as he screamed, “When are you going to give up? They aren’t coming for you. You’re not worth the effort. Wentworth and Maggie’s precious soldier. Your friends are probably better off without the soldier who only follows rules. You’ll get them killed….your last name will always endanger them. It will always put a target on their backs. You know this, Richie….why do you keep lying to yourself? Do you really think Eddie wants to be with you? With <b>you</b>? If he did it’s for your name.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shut the fuck up!” Richie snapped, before being backhanded.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>You know I’m telling the truth. Why would someone want to be with a fat, unfunny asshole who only cares about the job? About making mommy and daddy happy? Everyone knows when push comes to shove you’ll choose the job and Danny over everyone. You can lie to everyone but me.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nipping at Richie’s ear as the male looked up at the ceiling. He wanted out of this nightmare.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It’s alright though, Chee, I want you just enough. Not for your personality...you don’t have one. I can accept the fat rolls and the issues if it means fucking that nice ass of yours.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>I hate you.” Richie said softly.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>You don’t, because I understand you.” Patrick said.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>No...you really don’t.” Richie said.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Whatever you say.” Patrick said, “But know this, when you disappoint him he’ll let you down. He’ll stop talking to you because <b>you </b>did something that displeased him. You know it’s true. He wants someone he can boss around, when you stop being that what good are you?”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie blocked out when he started jerking at his clothes. Trying to focus on Eddie and his smile. Beverly and her take charge attitude. Bill and his undying devotion to Georgie. Mike and his love for all things history. Stan and his love of bird watching. Ben and his love for building things. Focusing on the things that would help him get past this.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Richie!”</p><p> </p><p>He looked up sharply as Eddie stared at him with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“W-What?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“You with me?” Eddie asked, “You—blanked like last time.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—what? Sorry...flashback. Sorry...I’m sorry...I’m so sorry.” Richie stuttered out, shaking harder as Eddie looked towards the front of the car.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you sorry for, Richie?”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t—he said...I am...I can’t.” Richie said tightly, putting his head back down.</p><p> </p><p>“Get out of the way.” Stan snapped at Eddie, “You almost got him <em>killed</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“How the fuck do you figure Stanley?”</p><p> </p><p>“By keeping the comms turned off! If I’d been closer I could’ve stopped him from getting touched by Patrick Hockstetter. If I hadn’t fucking forced you to turn the comms on you would’ve—he would’ve...<em>fuck</em>. We are having a family meeting when we get home.” Stan growled, glaring at Eddie when he opened his mouth, “Don’t fucking test me, Kaspbrak!”</p><p> </p><p>That mouth shutting quickly as Stan moved into the floorboard.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, look at me.” Stan said gently, as Eddie moved closer, “We’re not mad. You have nothing to say sorry for.”</p><p> </p><p>“He was right.” Richie whispered, as Stan and Eddie both paled, “He was right and I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.”</p><p> </p><p>“What was he right about?” Eddie asked, taking one of Richie’s hands gently, “Chee-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie flinched bodily as Eddie bit his lip hard.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, talk to us.” Eddie amended, touching his arm with his other hand to draw him into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>Richie shook his head, “It’s fine...I’ll deal with it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I said I’ll deal with it.” Richie snapped, “Just give me some fucking space okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Stan and Eddie both put their hands up. Richie feeling his chest constrict again as he tried to breathe through his panic. He felt overwhelmed in the worst way possible. Putting his head in his hands as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.” Richie told them, “Being touched after a flashback is just...it’s too much.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.” Eddie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Richie said, “I’ll handle it. I just need a minute. I don’t know why I froze up like that. I’ve felt all this anger and I thought when I saw him again I’d be able to use that. But then I saw him and Henry and Vic….and Gray being there. I was outnumbered and I just—it felt like I was back in that warehouse. And when he had me against the wall I freaked. I couldn’t stop it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well the next time you see him he’ll be chained up in so many different ways he won’t be able to move.” Eddie promised, “Richie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that they were going to be there. We waited over an hour to see if anyone was going to go in or not. If I’d known—I wouldn’t have done it. I was just still so pissed at you guys for turning the comms off. If I’d known-”</p><p> </p><p>“That doesn’t make it okay, Eddie.” Stan said, “You know as well as the rest of us how easily a mission can go wrong. The difference is is that we did it while we were en route to rendezvous. We were safe. You did it during an active mission that could’ve gotten him kidnapped and killed. He’s your fucking boyfriend! You should care about him more than that-”</p><p> </p><p>“I fucking do, Stanley!”</p><p> </p><p>“Then act like it! You’re allowed to be mad but don’t fucking bring that toxic shit to a mission ever again.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t! Don’t you think this is a good fucking lesson for me? My own boyfriend was almost fucking taken again and it would’ve been my fault-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop arguing!” Richie yelled, seeing them both flinch, “Fucking hell, Stanley you’re right he is allowed to be mad but Eddie...Stanley is also right in that you jeopardized the mission not just me. We’re having a family meeting when we get home, no exceptions. We’re going to air out all of our grievances and move on. Put whatever happened in the past and that includes tonight Stanley.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Stan yelped, “Richie, you can’t be serious! Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Is obviously sorry about what happened. Is obviously scared about what happened. He learned his fucking lesson.” Richie said, “If anyone has a problem with it then they can quit the team.”</p><p> </p><p>No one said anything for a long moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I am sorry.” Eddie said, “You have no idea how sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“And it’s fine. We all make mistakes and fuck up. Just learn from it and don’t do it again.” Richie said softly, “After the family meeting I’m going to be paying Hockstetter a fucking visit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Rich, don’t you think that might be too much?” Stan asked, “You just had a flashback. After the meeting maybe you should sleep a little?”</p><p> </p><p>“No because then I’ll have a nightmare. I’d much rather get the first meeting out of the way before that.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan didn’t say anything at that; no one did. Richie was fairly positive the others were still in shock over how the mission was a dud and an ambush. Richie focusing on breathing and trying to relax before they got back to headquarters.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Chapter 38</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The family meeting goes about as Richie expects.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie hated family meetings if he was honest. They had decided to meet at Richie’s apartment so the male could shower and change. The others had clothes at his place for just this reason. In case a mission went entirely nuts and they needed to have a meeting. He wouldn’t lie, he spent longer than he should have in the shower. Scrubbing every inch of him he could reach. Wanting to get the smell of Patrick off of him; the feel of him against his body wouldn’t go away for a while. He knew that well enough by now.</p><p> </p><p>He’d changed out of his clothes and gone out into the living room where it was quiet. You could cut the air it was so thick. Richie went and sat on the hearth of his fireplace. Wanting distance from the others after the flashback.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s first?” Richie asked, “Where’s the fucking—conch thing?”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly produced the shower cap and put it on. It was silly but it was from their clubhouse. Something that Stan had brought so they wouldn’t get spiders or other bugs in their hair.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, so I’m on Stan’s side concerning tonight. Just because we turned the comms off for a fifteen minute conversation doesn’t make it okay for you to fucking turn them off during a mission. Especially considering the fucking fact that we’ve had so many hostile operatives on the last few we’ve been on. What you did was selfish, stupid and inconsiderate. Grow the fuck up, Eddie. We’re not in Derry anymore and we aren’t five years old. Get over yourself.” Beverly almost snarled, “All of this, literally all of it could’ve been avoided if you’d answered Richie the first time he’d asked about the portrait. So I’m laying blame at your feet.”</p><p> </p><p>She ripped the cap off and held it out. Bill taking it from her and placing it on his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Switzerland in this. I see both sides. However, we need to remember that we’re a family. We all make mistakes because we’re human. Nothing bad happened tonight in the long run-”</p><p> </p><p>Stan ripped the shower cap from Bill’s head and held it tight instead of putting it on.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh <em><b>fuck you </b></em>Bill.” Stan told his boyfriend, “Long run? Richie had a fucking flashback and he’ll have a nightmare tonight. He’s been psychologically harmed by Patrick Hockstetter who had a knife to his fucking throat tonight. And he had Richie against the wall <em>with his body</em>. So fuck you for trying to be neutral when this is not a neutral topic. You want real talk?”</p><p> </p><p>Stan stood up and went to where Eddie was leaning on the wall.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re an asshole, Eddie. Richie wasn’t the one to decide to turn the comms off, I told you that was me. And yet you punished him for it. How fucked up is that? That is my best fucking friend, Kaspbrak. And you hurt him and I don’t give a shit if he forgives you for it. I’ll remember this. I’ll remember this as the time you did something so remarkably stupid that it almost got someone killed!”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just stared at him; his neck flushed with anger before he tackled Stan. Different shouts and jumps came from the others as they slammed into Richie’s coffee table. The owner in question pinching the bridge of his nose as he heard them scream at each other.</p><p> </p><p>He stood up and bodily grabbed Stan and jerked him off. Mike and Ben grabbing Eddie who growled.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop it!” Richie yelled, “This isn’t a fucking brawl. This is a family meeting. You can both be mad at each other but none of us are leaving until you work it out. I am too tired to be angry or hold a grudge. It takes too much energy. If it comes to blows again you will not like me, either of you. Give Eddie the cap, Stan.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan tossed it to Eddie who caught it clumsily. Stan’s right cheek was red from where Eddie had punched him whereas Eddie’s nose was bleeding.</p><p> </p><p>“I can only say sorry so many times. Do you not think I’m kicking myself over this? It kills me that I almost got Richie kidnapped. I didn’t want this, Stan. I was just so lost in my anger and frustration. And I thought it was clear! We waited for an hour.” Eddie told him, “What can I do to make this better?”</p><p> </p><p>Stan stared at him and fixed his shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“Lick the floor.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Beverly laughed, “Stan-”</p><p> </p><p>“No, better you, keep your tongue on the floor for five fucking minutes.” Stan said, seeing Eddie pale, “You’re terrified of germs just like Richie’s terrified of Patrick. It gives him anxiety just like this will do to you. That’s what would make this better.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan.” Mike said, “Two wrongs don’t make a right. What you’re saying is that we all have to do something we’re scared of just to make things even? That’s not a good precedent to set.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, then he can lick the floor five times.” Stan said, “If you agree with me that that would make this square, raise your hand. Family meeting democracy rules.”</p><p> </p><p>Beverly, Ben, and Stan raised their hands. Stan looked at Bill who rose his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop!” Richie sighed, “You’re not using that logic to make him lick the floor, Stan. He fucked up and he knows it. It’ll never happen again. If I’m okay with it then you have to be too. As my best friend, Stan...please let this go?”</p><p> </p><p>Stan stared at him then Eddie before taking a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Fine</em>. But I’m not happy about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Same.” Beverly said, “You’d better make this up to him, Eddie. Or so help me.”</p><p> </p><p>“After the silent treatment and today you’d better. We’re going to ask about it.” Stan said.</p><p> </p><p>“Down guys.” Richie said, shaking his head, “Anything else?”</p><p> </p><p>Ben took the shower cap, “I think after you deal with Patrick we all need to take a trip together. Somewhere remote just the seven of us so we can bond and reconnect and heal.”</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds like a fucking stupendous idea.” Richie said, “Give me eighty hours and we’ll do just that. Set it up.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can do that!” Ben said, smiling.</p><p> </p><p>Mike took the shower cap next, “I think you should wait to deal with Patrick until tomorrow. Get some sleep and get your head on straight. It’s been a fucking insane and stressful night. I can speak for all of us when I say we don’t want you stressing yourself out and overdoing it. Possibly hurting yourself...please.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Mike and the others; the looks on their faces said a lot. It said that they all agreed.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys, I have to do this. I know you don’t get it but I have to do this...for <em>me</em>. I have to face him and get it over with before I go to sleep. Otherwise the nightmare I have tonight will be so much worse than it could be. I <em>know</em> this...okay? If you want...someone can come with me.” Richie told them, “Someone can be in the room with me. But I have to do this.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll go with you.” Eddie said, “We need to talk anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie ignored the ice down his spine.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine. We’ll see you guys tomorrow if that’s it?”</p><p> </p><p>No one said anything for a moment before they each nodded. Beverly and Stan stopping before they left to hug Richie gently after he nodded his head. Giving them the okay; knowing how touchy they were after someone had been hurt.</p><p> </p><p>He said nothing to Eddie as he grabbed his jacket, wallet and keys. Knowing he’d follow Richie out to his car. He was silent beside him until they got in the car.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you’ve said, multiple times.” Richie said, “It’s fine, it’s in the past, I’m over it.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I know you’re not a cruel person, Eddie. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen. It was frustrating but it’s fine. No harm was done. I love you alright? I love you more than anything in this world. If you’d done it on purpose I would’ve fired you from the team immediately. So stop feeling guilty. Nothing bad truly happened besides me having a flashback. And now? I’m going to face my fears and make him pay for what he did to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be right behind you when you do, helping you. I am sorry about today though, Richie.” Eddie said, “And I’m so sorry he used my nickname for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you apologizing for that? You didn’t make him.” Richie said, “I can usually block how it makes me feel when you say it but because of everything tonight...I just couldn’t. Everything’s fresh you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Then is it the best idea to see him right now?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, because I have to do it.” Richie said, glancing at Eddie and taking his hand, “You guys will never understand why I need to do this right now but I do. I know what it’s like to sleep without confronting him...the nightmares I get. Especially after flashbacks. They’re fucking <em>awful</em> and I always feel so worthless and filthy. I’m hoping if I take some power back tonight I’ll be okay. Or at least not have such horrible fucking nightmares. I’m so sick of waking up screaming—shit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that why you don’t want me to sleep with you some nights?”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I know your bedroom is soundproofed. I know why you wanted everything at my place soundproofed before you moved in. I’m asking you honestly, is that why you don’t like me to sleep with you some nights?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie swallowed hard, “So...one night when Stan was sleeping over he shared my bed right? Which isn’t weird we literally all do it. But it was after what happened the first time. I attacked Stan and would’ve chocked him if he hadn’t flipped me off of him and woken me up. I’d thought about how shifty and shaky I felt...how I didn’t feel a hundred percent okay before we went to sleep so the knife I usually keep under my pillow? I’d moved it before I went to bed. If I hadn’t...I probably would have used it on Stan. And I think about that every single time I’m about to go to sleep especially if someone else is in the bed with me. I would have never forgiven myself, Eddie. So...yeah...if I feel shifty, shaky and not in the right head space then I don’t want you to sleep in the same bed as me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Holy shit, Richie...neither of you ever said anything to any of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stan didn’t blame me. He was so worried about me. He asks me almost every morning if I slept okay. If I’m alright...he didn’t know everything that happened but he had probably guessed before I said anything. He didn’t want to make it a big deal so we didn’t. I still think about it a lot though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, of course he wouldn’t blame you. Stan considers you a brother. I mean did you see how he reacted over tonight?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah and he was within his rights to be pissed. I won’t lie to you, I was upset about you turning the comms off too. I just don’t know how to take things personally.” Richie said, “With the exception of Patrick. And I do forgive you, it’s just been a crazy night. I knew you were upset I just didn’t realize how bad. And I’m sorry for that, I should’ve tried to talk to you over the last few days.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please don’t apologize, Richie. This is all on me, because I’m an asshole. I don’t fucking deserve you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You do, but like Stan and Bev said...you have to make it up to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will.” Eddie said, as they pulled up to headquarters.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie slid out of the car as Richie did. Both going through the protocol to enter the building. Richie grabbing Eddie’s hand and squeezing it as they moved to the elevator. He wasn’t going to let his boyfriend feel anymore guilt over this if he could help it. There was no use in it; he knew Eddie felt horrible about it. Knew that it’d never happen again.</p><p> </p><p>Hitting the floor number as he pulled Eddie close to him. Kissing his temple as Eddie melted against him. Feeling the smaller male shiver just a little and knowing that he had been stressed about how Richie would react to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop thinking about it okay? I forgive you, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t deserve it though.”</p><p> </p><p>“You deserve it because I love you. Now game faces on, the last thing we need is Patrick making comments about us.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie watched his boyfriend straighten with a nod; kissing him chastely. Leaning their foreheads together with a small smile. They pulled apart when the elevator doors opened. Richie looked shocked to see Adrian leaning against the wall outside of the first room.</p><p> </p><p>“I was hoping Stan would talk you out of coming in tonight.” Adrian frowned, “Richie, give it a night. You <em>won</em>, you’ve got him in there.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t win until after he’s dead.” Richie shrugged, “I feel like I’ve deserved the right to gloat. Did we pat him down?”</p><p> </p><p>“Inside and out to make sure there’s no trackers on him.” Adrian smirked, “We took him to a secluded location to take the tracker out. They’ll think he’s in Michigan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Beautiful.” Richie said, “After we’re done with him, I’d like to request a vacation for me and my team.”</p><p> </p><p>“How long until you’re done with him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Eighty hours, most likely less.”</p><p> </p><p>“Take ten days off after. Just let me know when you’re starting your vacation so I can know when to expect you back.” Adrian said, kicking off the wall, “And Richie, I’m happy you’re going to be able to hurt him. I mean that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you do.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie took the key that Adrian held out to him before hesitating.</p><p> </p><p>“Four guards will be posted to this door at all times. He’s going to be paralyzed with a mild toxin every hour just to make sure it’s in his system.” Adrian told him, “And as you’ll see he’s chained to hell and back. He was thoroughly checked for metal and plastic as well as any other material. So you’ll be good to go. Plus the cuffs we have him in...are impossible to get out of.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Carrie created a new cuff that is seamless once it’s locked. Let me put it like this, El couldn’t get out of them and she can get out of everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nice.” Eddie breathed, as Richie looked at the door, “You don’t have to do this tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie tossed Eddie a gentle smile before moving to the door. Looking at the four guards who didn’t even try to look Richie in the eye. He appreciated it if he was honest. Entering the room and looking at Patrick who stared at him. Richie couldn’t stop himself from smiling.</p><p> </p><p>“I prefer this from how we usually meet, Patrick.” Richie told him, going and sitting in a chair in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie hovered near the door looking at the male that was hanging form the ceiling. Cuffs on his wrists and ankles; a collared cuff securing his head so he couldn’t move it.</p><p> </p><p>“I have to admit...I didn’t think you’d catch me.” Patrick said, “Or at least not take me alive. Then again, we always do have so much fun together.”</p><p> </p><p>“You say fun, I say hell.” Richie told him, looking at him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie watched his boyfriend bodily relax against the chair. Like some sort of weight had been lifted off of him.</p><p> </p><p>“Why’d you bring Wheezy over there?” Patrick asked, smirking, “You and I have always managed to have fun just the two of us. Unless you’d like for him to see just how-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie was up and hitting the male so fast that it gave Eddie whiplash. Staring at them both with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Keep <em>his </em>name out of your mouth.” Richie told him, “Or I’ll cut your tongue out. Trust me I’ve thought of multiple ways this could go. Taking your hands and feet so that way you couldn’t touch anyone ever again. Couldn’t do a mission ever again. You’d just be as useless to everyone as you are now. I’ve thought about fucking skinning you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Say what you want, Ch-”</p><p> </p><p>Richie hit him again, “And keep that nickname out of your mouth too.”</p><p> </p><p>Turning to Eddie who stared right back at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds, give us a moment. I’ll be out in just a second.” Richie told him, as his boyfriend hesitated, “Please.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded his head slowly before backing out of the room. Letting it shut as Richie turned back to the male.</p><p> </p><p>“Does he know how hard I fucked you?” Patrick asked, “Or have you not said anything? I wouldn’t want to either. Admitting that you’re so weak and pathetic...he’d leave you so fast.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie wouldn’t do that seeing as how he knows everything. I can’t wait for the morning.” Richie said, grinning.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick just smirked at him which confused Richie more than he wanted to say. The male looking him up and down before resting on his face again.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure we’ll have fun. We usually do.” Patrick said, as Richie winced before leaving the room.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just stared at him as Richie let the door shut behind him. Locking it and giving it to Adrian who looked at Richie curiously. The male saying nothing as he grabbed Eddie’s hand and pulled him towards the elevator. When the doors shut, Eddie turned to him.</p><p> </p><p>“You okay? You’re pale.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. Can’t wait for this vacation to reconnect with you guys.” Richie said, evading the question, “Eds—during that little vacation I want us to connect as well. What happened tonight and over the last week has been idiotic at best. Stan and Beverly are still going to be pissed while we’re there.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know I fucked up. It’ll take me a while to make it up to everyone I know that-”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to make it up to me.” Richie said, “But Eddie, it wasn’t even my idea to turn the comms off that night. You didn’t even let me explain before you iced me out. That wasn’t fair to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was just so mad. And I should have listened to you but I just—full disclosure? I as already upset because of what Danny said to you. You didn’t say anything about it after until you told me about everything else. And I guess that upset me too? Because it felt like you had to trust me before you could even contemplate telling me what that asshole said. And then you did that and it was like’’’I’m supposed to be okay with how you do things because we’re dating? You have to keep me in the loop Richie, that’s how a relationship works.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean what Danny said to...wait. What are you talking about?”</p><p> </p><p>“We had some bugs in the conference room. That last time you stayed behind to talk to Dannny. We overheard what he told you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just stared at him, “You listened in on a private conversation? Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“When you came to us you were off. I was fucking worried about you, Richie.” Eddie said, “It doesn’t matter now because we’re gone.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s true. However, I need to know something. Have you ever listened in on a conversation after that?”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Eddie exclaimed, “Of course not, Richie! It was only the one time and only to see what I could do to help you!”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sighed and took a deep breath. Rubbing his face before letting his hands drop. He stared at Eddie with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I need to tell you that that was a breach of privacy and trust.” Richie said slowly, “And that’s just—wow. Today has given me a lot to think about and process. So I’m going back to my apartment tonight. I’ll handle the Patrick stuff myself and if I need help I’ll ask.”</p><p> </p><p>“No! What? Richie, come on you can’t do this yourself. You need a support system-”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes well, thinking about how my closest friends heard a conversation that they shouldn’t have. I have to process some things. I’ll text you guys when I want to talk.” Richie said, giving Eddie the keys to his car, “I’ll call Mike for a ride.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, stop...please.” Eddie told him, “Can we talk about this?”</p><p> </p><p>“We are going to talk about this once I process tonight. There’s been a lot that’s happened tonight, Eddie. And honestly? I don’t want you to see me while I’m dealing with Patrick. It’s not going to be pretty at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you, Richie. I want to be here for you while you’re doing this. I don’t care how pretty it is or isn’t. You shouldn’t be alone-”</p><p> </p><p>“And I need you to respect my decision. Respect my choice in doing this alone. If I regret it...then you’ll be my first phone call Eds. But considering what happened tonight and that fucking conversation...I need you to give me a little space to get my shit together so that way when we talk? It’ll be when my head is on straight.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie and Richie stepped out of the elevator; Eddie gripping the car keys tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, I’ll respect your decision. But just...please text me if you need me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. I’ll see you in three days.” Richie told him, as Eddie looked at the keys then him, “Eddie, I love you so much. That will never change no matter how upset I get. So stop looking at me like I’m going to come back and break up with you. That’s never going to happen, Eds. You hold the reins on that particular decision.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie didn’t know what to say as Richie walked out of the lobby. Didn’t know what to feel or say about what he’d just told him. Knew that he had to give Richie space especially considering what his boyfriend had been through. Needed to make sure that after invading his privacy and being a dick that he helped Richie the best way he could. If Richie thought he could do this alone then Eddie would try and let him.</p><p> </p><p>That being said, he was going to make sure he was at headquarters every day just in case he needed Eddie.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Chapter 39</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie and his cousin have a heart to heart that he needed to hear.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie stared at his phone when he walked into Neibolt. Looking at Stan’s picture before the call dropped. That made sixteen total phone calls from Stan and twelve from Beverly. Four from Bill, three from Mike and six from Ben. Eddie hadn’t called him at all. Richie guessed that meant that his boyfriend was listening to him.</p><p> </p><p>Going onto the elevator and hitting the number for the floor that Patrick was on.</p><p> </p><p>He leaned against the metal when Stan’s face lit up his phone again.</p><p> </p><p>“What Stanley?” Richie answered.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We’ve all been trying to call you all morning.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Eddie hasn’t.” Richie commented.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I don’t know why he hasn’t but he’s an idiot. I’m on my way to Neibolt to help you with Patrick.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“No you aren’t. I told Eddie this last night and he is respecting my wishes. So with that being said I don’t want any help unless I ask for it. I’m not asking for it so please let me do this. I need to do this myself, Stan. If it makes you feel better we can all get together for dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It would make me feel better to know you have back up.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Stan...please?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stan sighed, “Fine...but I swear if you need me I’ll drop everything and come help. I love you, Rich...you aren’t alone in this.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Richie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Do you? I know last night was intense but...we’re concerned.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I know you are. Trust me, there’s no doubt in my mind that you aren’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Just...let me know if you need anything.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Of course. Just text me about dinner.” Richie said, “I’ll be here until five.”</p><p> </p><p>He hung up and slid his phone in his pocket. Exiting the elevator as he took the key from Adrian who nodded at him. Nothing was said between them as Richie unlocked the door and went in. Patrick just looked at him as he went to the table next to the male.</p><p> </p><p>“How did you sleep?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“How did you?” Patrick asked back, “I’m guessing you had a nightmare and stayed up all night.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie grabbed a scalpel and stood in front of Patrick. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do yet. It had been a gut instinct to grab the scalpel.</p><p> </p><p>“Why did you do it?” Richie asked, “Why me? Just because of my last name?”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick smiled at him, “Your name was just part of it. The effect it would have on your team was secondary. The third reason was because I knew, deep down, that you’d never get over it. That you’d wear that pain so beautifully. I didn’t lie when I said I missed your screams and tears.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him, “I wear it?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s why it took you so long to date Wheezy. It’s why even now you don’t let any of them in here. What? Scared they’ll find out just how weak you are?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stabbed him with the scalpel and left it in the male. Patrick, to his credit, didn’t even wince.</p><p> </p><p>“And at the end of the day, Richie? You’re just like me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him, “I’m nothing like you.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick laughed at him, “Maybe before the first time I took you but now? Tell me something, Richie. Did you used to torture people before I took you? Did you want to hurt people? I thought that your little Losers had a saying? That once you started taking pleasure in people’s pain it made you just as bad as them? It’s another reason I took you. So I could test that theory. See if I could break you enough to do that.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just watched Patrick who continued to laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“The best part of it all is that you’ll always remember me even after you kill me. I’ll be under your skin until you die, Tozier. And Wheezy will get tired of it all and leave you. And when that happens my only regret is I won’t be alive for you to crawl to.” Patrick grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you ever shut up?” Richie asked, his voice shaking.</p><p> </p><p>“You should know better than anyone that I don’t.” Patrick said, “I’m surprised I haven’t seen your parents. What’s that like by the way? I’ve always meant to ask.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s...what like?” Richie asked warily, as he looked at the table.</p><p> </p><p>“Having your entire life controlled?” Patrick asked, “Everyone in our field knows you were trained your whole life for this shit. Even Randall thought it was fucked up. And your friends could have gotten you out of this field before you even started but they didn’t. Knowing how dangerous it was because you told them didn’t you? Just think, if they’d talked you out of it. You wouldn’t have met me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at him in horror. There were so many things that he hated about what Patrick said. The fact that people knew how long he’d been trained. How Randall felt and his friends…</p><p> </p><p>“Then again, your parents beat the personality out of you right? So you’d never pick anything else.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie remembers when he was younger he wanted to be a comedian. Had wanted to make people laugh. He remembers telling Maggie about it and getting punished for the thought of doing anything but MATURIN.</p><p> </p><p>He remembers how Eddie wanted to become a doctor. How Beverly had wanted to go to FIT to pursue fashion. Bill wanting to write novels. Stan wanting to become an accountant because he loved numbers. Mike loving history and wanting to become a teacher. And Ben’s love of architecture being his passion after loving Beverly.</p><p> </p><p>Until they’d found out three months before graduation what Richie’s family did. It had been an accident when they’d found out. Richie had been yelling at his parents about not wanting to go to MATURIN for the weekend to talk to Danny. They’d all three known that Richie was a shoe in. That it was pointless to go ‘discuss his future’ with the man when they knew he was going to be there after graduation.</p><p> </p><p>Stan and Eddie had overheard it and he’d been grilled afterwards. Telling everyone about it and seeing their faces fall. Not being able to read their expressions. He’d had to leave first and after he’d left they’d apparently discussed it amongst themselves. All six making the decision to go with Richie to MATURIN. Bill had gone up to his parents and told them they were interested; Went informing his friend that it didn’t matter if they were interested. It mattered if Danny was.</p><p> </p><p>But somehow they’d gotten Danny’s attention.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s it feel like? Knowing you stole their lives from them?” Patrick asked, smirking, “Knowing that they had dreams and they threw them away to help a sad sack of shit like you?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie grit his teeth as he fisted a knife. It wasn’t the first time he’d thought that same thing. Feeling his eyes burn as he tried to stop tears from falling.</p><p> </p><p>“Couldn’t protect yourself and you can’t protect them. What good are you?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie ripped off a piece of duck tape; slapping it on Patrick’s mouth. Turning and leaving the room as he felt a wave of anxiety slam into him. He looked in shock at his cousin who stared up at him. It was freaky how similar he and his cousin looked. Mike was sitting on the floor with a frown on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing here? I thought your team was going on vacation?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We were but then Stan told me you caught Patrick.” Mike said, “And then told me that you didn’t want them up here helping you. When Stanley Uris, one of your oldest and best friends, calls me because he’s worried then I know it’s fucking serious. So we’re delaying our vacation until you get done with Patrick. Because Stan also explained what happened last night. And I agree with him that I don’t want you doing this alone.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s chest tightened as he stared at his cousin.</p><p> </p><p>“Mike-”</p><p> </p><p>“No way. You were there for me when Will went missing a few years ago. You even helped me track him down.” Mike said, “I know you blame yourself for me picking this job. But you have to see it from my point of view. My badass cousin comes into Hawkins and finds my boyfriend within a week. When we’d been searching for a month. So this is me being here for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want you in the room.” Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>“And that’s fine. I’ll be out here if you need anything.” Mike told him, “Giving Stan updates because you’ll forget to because you’re going through something stressful. And trust me, we all know how stressful this is for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded his head before moving back to the door. Freezing as he turned back for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I ask you a serious question?”</p><p> </p><p>“Always.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think my friends regret doing this job?”</p><p> </p><p>Mike laughed, “Seriously? Hell no, Rich. For as long as I can remember you guys have all been stuck at the hip. You guys even discussed going to the same damn college so you could all room together. When they found out about MATURIN, you told me they didn’t talk to you for almost two weeks. Two weeks to figure out if they wanted to split up or go with you. They chose to go with you. Knowing the risks and what the job was. They knew all of that and still chose to come. They love you Richie, never doubt that for a second. I never doubt my friends for a millisecond for coming with me here. And right now, those same friends of yours are concerned you’re about to break in a way they can’t fix. That they can’t help you out of.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can you guys give us some room?” Richie asked the guards who went to the other end of the hallway.</p><p> </p><p>Richie slid down the wall and leaned his head against it.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie wanted to be a doctor. He wanted to help people.” Richie told Mike, “And Bev? She wanted to be a fashion designer. She loves clothes so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, have you ever thought about the fact that people’s dreams can change? Have you thought that maybe their dream is to stay with their family through thick and thin? That their dream is to be the Losers Club for life?”</p><p> </p><p>“But why?” Richie asked, feeling his eyes burn, “I still don’t get why they like me, Mike. I’ve known some of them my whole life and I don’t get it. My own parents can’t fucking stand me. Went...I know you know my parents weren’t exactly ideal.”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re literally the worst.”</p><p> </p><p>“Went told me once, when I was twelve that he wished that he could’ve drowned me.” Richie said, seeing the horror on Mike’s face, “I was told at least four times a year that I was a mistake they should have snuffed out. Told at least three times a day that I was too fat to be a Tozier. That I was too stupid to live. The thing is...is that I wouldn’t break because of Patrick. Yes, he’s hurt me horribly but...I’ve been told how worthless I am all my life. I’ve been told I was weak and stupid. And then my best friends tell me that they listened in on a conversation with Danny...where he told me the same things I’ve heard my whole life.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck your parents and Danny.” Mike said, crawling over to his cousin and hugging him, “Richie, your family has always been the Losers Club. Also me because you’re my favorite cousin.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah fuck our other cousins.” Richie sniffled, wiping some tears away.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly.” Mike told him, “Seriously Rich, your parents couldn’t have been more wrong about you. You know why you’re my hero?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to regret this but why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for your friends. You’re so fucking smart and brave that it is so amazing to me. You love people with your whole heart, even people who don’t deserve it like your parents. I know you were worried about hurting them when we all left. But seriously? Fuck them for hurting their son. You’re nothing like them or Patrick or fucking Randall damn Flagg. You’re so much better than them. You care about people, Richie. That’s the difference.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie hugged his cousin tightly; the younger male gripping back just as tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, go in there and make Patrick regret ever hearing your name.” Mike said.</p><p> </p><p>“Our name isn’t anything special, Mike.”</p><p> </p><p>“The Tozier name is infamous in our world because it means there’s a kickass person behind it.” Mike said, “I may be a Tozier because of my mom but...I hope whenever you and Eddie get married you keep your last name and make it mean something different. Make the name Tozier mean something funny if you want to leave this fucking job and become a comedian like you used to. Make it mean love because of how much you have always felt for Eddie. Most importantly, our last name? It means what we dictate it to. We are the name, the name isn’t us Richie. Don’t give your parents that much power over you.”</p><p> </p><p>“When’d you get so wise?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve had a really awesome influence in my life. My cousin Richie, you might not know him? He’s pretty much one of the best people I know.” Mike said, sitting on his heels, “He protects everyone he loves and is so <em>so</em> nice and kind to people. Even those who don’t deserve it at all.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed harshly, “You’re an idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>“I got you to laugh though.” Mike told him, helping Richie up, “Now, you have two choices. Go in there and deal with that fucker yourself. Or I can text your friends to come help you. I’d prefer to text them so that way I know Patrick isn’t getting in your head like he obviously did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mike-”</p><p> </p><p>“Think about it like this. If there are seven of you, that’s seven times the amount of pain.”</p><p> </p><p>“The Losers don’t approve of the torturing.”</p><p> </p><p>Mike laughed before stopping.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh shit you were serious?” Mike asked, “Rich, they’ve talked about doing nothing but fucking Patrick up for what he did. All I’ve heard this morning from Stan is how much he wants to decapitate Patrick slowly for your flashback yesterday. They want his blood on their hands and they aren’t picky about how. Plus, it’s a good bonding experience right? Albeit a fucked up one.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“Talk to Eddie after it. But do yourself a favor? Don’t give yourself eighty hours to torture him. When it feels like enough...when it feels like you’ve had your revenge...end it.” Mike said, “If that’s in two hours or a hundred. No one is going to give you shit about it. You deserve to do this to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re all here aren’t they?” Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“What your friends? Yeah, they’ve been on the floor below us for about four hours now. They got here way before you just in case you decided to come early. And they’re here just in case you need them.” Mike said, “They figured I’d be a friendly face to see since I don’t know what all Patrick did to you. I just know that it’s enough that your friends are hurt by it. That you’re hurt by it and having flashbacks and nightmares. And for that, I want him dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“Go get them for me?” Richie asked, “I’ll leave the door open.”</p><p> </p><p>Mike hugged him, “They’ll be up shortly.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie watched his cousin walk off before wiping the tears away and letting his face close off. Waving the guards to come back before he went back in. Patrick’s eyes were dancing with some kind of joy. Richie knew it was because he looked like he’d been crying.</p><p> </p><p>Going to the pliers and turning them over in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>That talk with Mike helped clear things up for him in a way that he hadn’t been able to reach himself. Going to one of Patrick’s hands and putting the pliers on top of the nail.</p><p> </p><p>His problem was that he let people, negative people, have way too much power over him. Ripping the nail off and almost basking in the scream that escaped him. It had taken Patrick four hours to make Richie scream. Four hours of cuts, kicks and burns to make him scream. He finally hadn’t been able to hold it back when he’d fractured Richie’s wrist.</p><p> </p><p>The door opened as Richie turned to his friends. Eddie and Stan entering first with Beverly and Ben following after with Mike and Bill bringing up the rear.</p><p> </p><p>Eight people in a room should have been claustrophobic but it was more comforting than anything.</p><p> </p><p>“Mike said you wanted us?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“He made some good points. And also gave me some good advice.” Richie said, “So I want us all to hurt him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Mike asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Only if you guys are comfortable with it.” Richie told them, “But I just...there’s a lot I want to tell you guys. And I’ll tell you it later but right now...help me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” Stan said, as they all came over to the table.</p><p> </p><p>Richie knew he could do anything with them by his side. But that didn’t stop the guilt and it didn’t stop the hatred he felt at himself. He hoped they would understand where he was coming from when he talked about it later.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie decides a few things and lets the Losers in on everything.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seeing Patrick bloody and half conscious wasn’t something Richie knew he needed to see. It made him feel like all that power that the male had had over Richie was gone. That it was entirely a mute point. It made him feel like he could breathe. Like he wasn’t such a fuck up.</p><p> </p><p>He knew how fucked up that was. He was self aware enough to realize that causing someone else pain to make himself feel better was screwed.</p><p> </p><p>He tilted Patrick’s head up; the male’s head swaying on its own as Richie smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Fun story, I didn’t have a nightmare last night. I knew you were locked up here and that was a comfort to me.” Richie said, pulling the duck tape off.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly and Stan were leaning against the wall. The other Losers had left just a few minutes before to get food for them. They were all meeting at Eddie’s place. Beverly and Stan had decided to stay behind for Richie. Eddie had left hesitantly but respected his wishes all the same.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t wait...for Henry to find me.” Patrick said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Another fun story.” Stan said, kicking off the wall, “We’re not part of MATURIN anymore. We defected and created our own company.”</p><p> </p><p>The look of horror on Patrick’s face made Richie smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah so while your team and Randall are looking at MATURIN headquarters...we’re somewhere entirely different.” Richie said, “You didn’t think it was odd that we weren’t wearing the MATURIN colors?”</p><p> </p><p>“We figured you guys...were going through a transitional phase with the colors.” Patrick said shaking his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, you guys really are idiots.” Beverly said.</p><p> </p><p>“This is enough for me.” Richie said, “It’s been thirty-four hours since we took you from your team and that’s enough for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait what?” Stan asked, confused.</p><p> </p><p>He knew that it was maybe not the nicest to leave the others in the dark. However, he didn’t know how much would be enough for him.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, he had you for-”</p><p> </p><p>“If I spend eighty hours torturing him that’s overkill.” Richie told them, seeing their faces soften, “It makes me exactly like this waste of life in front of me. I’m sick of you having some kind of pull on me. And as much as I’d love to be the one to snuff your life out...I won’t be.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Beverly asked confused.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s funny.” Richie told his friends, “How long Patrick and the others have been part of FLAGG. Eleven years is a feat especially when it’s all active cases. I did some research a few weeks ago on your previous cases, Patrick. Into your past before FLAGG. I wanted to know if there were other people like me that you’d hurt and wouldn’t you know...you have. It shouldn’t have been shocking, quite the opposite really, but it was. And I thought to myself, would it be fair for me to be the only one that got revenge? No, it wouldn’t be.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled his phone out and sent a text.</p><p> </p><p>“So I didn’t realize you were from Derry.” Richie said, seeing the shocked and horrified looks on Beverly and Stan’s faces, “Yeah, I did my research thoroughly. There was a few kids that went missing twelve years ago. One of which was almost Georgie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait hold on.” Stan said, eyes wide, “He’s the one that almost kidnapped Georgie when we were twelve?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, but he did kidnap Betty Ripsom.” Richie told them, “Did you guys know that her brother is Jack Sawyer? He changed his name because people in Derry thought he was the one to kill her.”</p><p> </p><p>Patrick’s eyes widened as Richie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“I tracked him down. Did you know he’s a freelance assassin for hire?” Richie asked, “He’s been trying to locate you for twelve years, Pat. I mean shit, I wanted you dead for a few months but twelve years is a long fucking time.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie went to the door and opened it. Letting the tall blonde male behind it walk in.</p><p> </p><p>“Adrian was more than happy to give him a visitor’s pass for the day.” Richie said, “I told him I wanted to get my hits in first before I let him get his in. You didn’t kill me though, Patrick. You killed his sister and that’s...well...your bad. Have fun Jake, when you’re done the guards will escort you out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you...so much, Mr. Tozier.” Jack said, a raw look of hatred in his eyes as he looked at Patrick.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait!” Patrick yelled, “You aren’t even going to watch me die? You’re just going to trust this asshole?”</p><p> </p><p>“The guards will check your body for a pulse as will Adrian. And I trust Adrian to tell me the truth when it comes to you. Have fun in hell, Patrick.” Richie said, “I’m done letting you have power over me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved to the door with Beverly and Stan almost tripping to follow him. The door shut behind him as he smiled at Adrian.</p><p> </p><p>He handed the key to the male who nodded his head.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re taking three weeks.” Richie told Adrian, who looked a little stunned, “Three weeks and we’ll come back and talk. Unless it’s an emergency, don’t contact us okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Y-You got it, Rich.” Adrian said, as Richie looped his arms with Beverly and Stan.</p><p> </p><p>Making their way to the elevator; he knew his friends had a million things to say. And he had a million things to say as well.</p><p> </p><p>Getting in the elevator it was radio silence for about a minute.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so proud of you, Richie.” Stan said softly, but it was loud in the quiet space, “I mean...I know how much you wanted to be the one to kill him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Patrick’s team has done a lot of fucked up shit.” Richie told Stan, “Like more than we originally thought. When I was doing the research into it...Patrick was a prime suspect in the Ripsom case. In the cases for all the missing children. It wasn’t until I remembered Georgie...that I looked it up. I read the police file on how Georgie described the guy who tried to take him. And knowing Patrick was in the area and the only alibi he had was Henry Bowers. It all clicked.”</p><p> </p><p>“Henry is from Derry too?” Beverly asked, “How did we never know?”</p><p> </p><p>“They left two months after Georgie. We never saw them or interacted with them. They had dropped out of high school and were planning on leaving before they butchered those kids.” Richie said softly, “And there were no living relatives for the other kids except for Jake. I figured it was only fair for him to get his closure.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you’re seriously okay right now?” Beverly asked, squeezing his arm.</p><p> </p><p>“I have...a lot to tell you guys. About my family...about Patrick...about me. And I know it’s going to worry you guys and I know it’s not going to fix things immediately. But I need you guys to know what’s going on with me. Why I am the way I am. And I need your help.” Richie said, his voice breaking, “And I accept that because I can’t keep doing everything on my own.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll help you, Richie.” Stan said, leaning his head on Richie’s shoulder, “We all will.”</p><p> </p><p>Stepping out of the elevator and going to Stan’s car. Richie hadn’t trusted himself to drive today. They made it to Eddie’s in record time. Mainly because they were all three hungry. Mainly because he knew they wanted to hear what he had to say. While he spoke, he didn’t talk as much as he used to. It was something that had worried his friends when they were younger. Something they didn’t talk about now because it was a sensitive subject.</p><p> </p><p>Stan parked the car easily and turned to look at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you want to tell us?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...I do.” Richie nodded, as they all three got out of the car.</p><p> </p><p>Stan stayed glued to Richie’s side; Beverly on his other side as they went up to Eddie’s apartment. Hearing the others behind the door as they argued over what to watch. Richie smiled as Beverly unlocked the door and they walked in.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! You guys got done quick.” Ben said.</p><p> </p><p>“Y-Yeah, the f-f-food won’t be here for another h-hour.” Bill stuttered.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fine.” Beverly said.</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to talk to you guys about...well..everything.” Richie said, “If that’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>He watched as one by one they all sat down except Ben who went to the kitchen. Richie heard him putting on a kettle and smiled faintly. Breaking away from Stan and Beverly as he went to the hearth. This would be easier without touching them.</p><p> </p><p>His friends sitting on the couch as he waited for Ben to come out.</p><p> </p><p>When he did it was with a platter of hot teas for all of them. Sitting them down in front of each person before sitting next to Beverly who took his hand tightly.</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled at them, “So some of this stuff is shit that Eddie knows...some of it is shit that no one knows. Not even my therapist.”</p><p> </p><p>“Take your t-t-time, Rich.” Bill said gently.</p><p> </p><p>Richie leaned against the back of the hearth as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you guys know my parents were abusive. They would hit me and punish me. They’d lock me in the basement for days at a time. Or I’d get the shit kicked out of me. But that was just one aspect of it.” Richie said slowly, “I felt like I couldn’t do anything right when I was at home. I felt like even breathing sometimes would get me hit. When I turned twelve is when I realized that my parents were more fucked in the head than I thought.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie rubbed his jeans and sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Maggie has always ridden my ass about how I look. I had to make sure my hair was tame, my glasses had to be clean if I insisted on wearing them. Tozier’s had to look perfect. So when she told me I was fat one day it—hurt. Of course it did because she was my parent. So she cut down on how much I ate. And every day I heard about how I was too big to be their son. So I started eating less, skipping meals. If I could get skinnier maybe my parents would love me more? But I always made sure to eat enough to not make myself pass out or get sick. I have it under control...I did then too. It’s just something that I had to do. It was another way for me to seek their approval. I know you and Stan were suspicious of it, Eddie. I never confirmed or denied it though. That was Maggie’s favorite way of screwing with me. She liked doing emotional and psychological. Went was more physical than that. I swear there were days I wanted to die just because of them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh Richie.” Mike said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“The fucked up thing is that I started to see what she was talking about. I still do even now. And when Patrick took me the first time he made comments about it too. So when I saw muffin top I made sure to work out a little more each day. I’m guessing my parents told Danny about it since he made the comment in that conversation.”</p><p> </p><p>The others said nothing as Richie took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“So that was one part that I wanted you guys to know. I’ve been ashamed of it but it’s one aspect of what I was shaped to be. Mike...my cousin, told me something that I needed to hear today. That my last name is what I dictated it to be. That I don’t have to be the kind of Tozier my parents forced me to be.” Richie said, “After fucking two decades of abuse and trauma I want to take what he said seriously. Which means being completely honest with you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>“Only what you want to tell us.” Bill said.</p><p> </p><p>“My parents hated my nicknames, jokes and personality so they snuffed it. When I told them I wanted to be a comedian they locked me in my room for four days with no food or human interaction. When I tried to go out the window they tore down the rose terrace. I accepted then that I was going to have to stick with their plan. I hated them for it. The first time Patrick took me I was used to my dad’s punishments...and they were similar in some ways and in most ways not.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie let the rest of the story about Patrick just spill from his lips. Zoning out as he kept talking. Flinching when Eddie came to sit next to him. And he still spoke about everything. His depression when they were in high school. How hard he busted his ass to make sure he was pleasing his parents with his training.</p><p> </p><p>How he had to make sure he was valedictorian. Not that it had mattered because his parents never showed for his graduation. He remembers so hard trying to get his parents approval. Just wanting some sort of affection from them that wasn’t them barking at him about training. The only adults showing him that kind of thing being Beverly’s aunt and his own aunt. Squeezing his eyes shut as he went through the second time Patrick had taken him. Opening them to see his friends crying quietly. Not wanting to break the spell of Richie telling them everything.</p><p> </p><p>“My parents when they came to visit me in the infirmary...blamed me for getting taken. Both times were my fault. What kind of Tozier was I that I got taken twice. Even though one of those times was to save someone that we all cared about. The funny thing is that they didn’t care that I was gay they just didn’t want me dating anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“What does that even mean?” Ben asked.</p><p> </p><p>“They wanted me to have a shit ton of one night stands and basically never find happiness. Whenever I talked about confessing my feelings to Eddie I’d get a lecture about how he could do better than me. As if I didn’t know that myself.” Richie said, as Eddie squeezed his hand, “Especially after everything that happened to me. I hated them for it because I thought parents were supposed to be supportive and caring. Instead my parents were hateful and spiteful. I ruined their lives so they didn’t even try to let me live mine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, your parents never deserved you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I remember them telling me that you guys would leave me one day. Even after we all joined MATURIN. That you’d all wise up and leave the company. Go do the things you wanted to because I was holding you back. And I believed that too. I believed that you guys gave up your dreams-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop.” Stan said, sniffling as he came to kneel in front of Richie, “We never gave up on our dreams, Richie. Our dream was to take on the world together. All seven of us against this fucked up world. And we’ve never regretted doing this with you. We’ve never regretted working at MATURIN. We wanted to stick together because we’re a family. And we knew...we knew how horrible your parents treated you. We could see the bruises when we were younger. Knew that they weren’t from bullies. Because you’d go in your house and the next morning when we’d come by to get you there would be bruises. We suspected the eating disorder but we didn’t ask because we didn’t want you to isolate yourself. It’s why we always gave you parts of our lunches. We’d hoped you’d come to us and talk to us. When you never did we figured we just had to give it time. Because you started eating again like you used to but fucking hell Richie. We’ve never regretted a single second with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s telling the truth.” Mike said, joining them with Bill, Beverly and Ben.</p><p> </p><p>“Leaving each other was never an option. And we figured that when you felt good enough to leave this shit we would too.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt his eyes burn as he finally let himself cry. Feeling his friends hug him tightly as a sob tore from him.</p><p> </p><p>“They said...that if I told you guys what happened you’d leave. That I was too weak to be your friend. That you’d be ashamed and hate me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your parents don’t know shit.” Eddie said, “We love you even more for being this open with us. For trusting us enough to let us in.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t...promise that I’ll get better. That I’ll be a hundred percent okay. Because I won’t be...I’ll still be like this with my flashbacks and nightmares. I’ll still have moments where I’ll skip meals.”</p><p> </p><p>“And we won’t judge you for the flashbacks or nightmares.” Beverly said.</p><p> </p><p>“And we’ll remind you every single day how beautiful you are.” Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>“And how tiny you are because Richie you’re so skinny.” Ben told him.</p><p> </p><p>“And that it’s okay to cry because it doesn’t make you any less. It makes you fucking brave.” Stan said.</p><p> </p><p>“And that you’re the fucking strongest person we know because you are for what you’ve been through.” Mike said.</p><p> </p><p>“And that there is never anything you could do that would make us hate or leave you. You’re a Loser for life, Richie and we never leave anyone behind.” Bill told him fiercely.</p><p> </p><p>The hug was so tight and almost overwhelming but Richie needed it. He didn’t want to leave this circle of pure comfort. He loved his friends so much and he should have known better than to trust his parents.</p><p> </p><p>“I have an idea.” Bill said, “We should make a f-fort and all fucking cuddle together.”</p><p> </p><p>“Holy shit! The last time we did that was a month before graduation!” Ben grinned, “Eddie, do you have enough blankets?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do I have enough blankets, have you met me?” Eddie asked, “The blanket closet is in the guest room.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben and Bill left the circle as the others slowly broke off. The doorbell ringing as Beverly went to get the food. Eddie stayed right next to him; pressing a kiss to his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“I am <em>so</em> fucking proud of you, Richie.” Eddie told him softly, “That was so fucking brave.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie shut his eyes tightly and breathed for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I forgive you for listening in on the conversation with Danny. I would’ve done the same if I was worried about you. And I forgive you for turning the comms off. I understand why you were upset and I’m sorry that me, Stan and Bev did that. Going forward though, we can’t do that okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Agreed!” Eddie said, “Thank you, Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just want to say something though real quick.” Richie said, “If you ever feel like I’m too much or you can’t stay with me anymore. Talk to me first before leaving-”</p><p> </p><p>“Well I’m not going to leave you so that’s not going to happen.” Eddie told him, “You’re it for me Richie Tozier. No one else does it for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“But if you did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then I’ll talk it out with you first. But I’m telling you it’ll never happen.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay...just...okay.” Richie said, “Sorry I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you are. But we’ll handle it. What time do you want to go back to Neibolt tomorrow to handle Patrick?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh what?” Mike asked, setting the plates down.</p><p> </p><p>Richie waited for everyone to come back in before explaining. Letting them know about Jake and Betty. About Patrick being the one to almost take Georgie. Or at least he was about ninety-five percent positive because Betty was connected. Jake Sawyer had always told people that Patrick Hockstetter was responsible because his sister was last seen with the male.</p><p> </p><p>“We were shocked.” Stan told them, “But it was so nice of you to do that Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t the only one who was hurt by him.” Richie said, “It didn’t seem right to do it all myself when he actually lost someone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like you didn’t?” Bill asked.</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled, “It’s not anything I can’t find again, Big Bill.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill’s eyes softened as he sat heavily on the couch with Ben and Mike. He knew that that had gotten to them all; seeing their eyes get misty.</p><p> </p><p>“With you guys I can recover and get it back. I know I can.” Richie said, as Eddie kissed his cheek again.</p><p> </p><p>“And we’ll make sure you do.” Beverly said.</p><p> </p><p>“I told Adrian we’re taking three weeks off.” Richie said, seeing their shock, “That’s three weeks of us reconnecting and bonding. When we come back I want to put FLAGG out of business. They’ve terrorized people long enough.”</p><p> </p><p>They all agreed with an ease that comforted Richie.</p><p> </p><p>And with these six people Richie knew he could face anything. That he could become the person he wanted to be not the person his parents wanted him to be. Stan dishing their food out as they all got around the coffee table. They’d build the fort after they ate and then they’d watch movies until they passed out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie has a nightmare around the Losers.</p><p>Trigger Warning for Patrick Hockstetter, flashbacks, nightmares and low self esteem.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Richie tried to get out of his restraints. Pulling on the metal that wouldn’t budge from over his head. Trying to get his feet settled against the beam so he could get some sort of leverage. His hands gripping the metal tightly as he tried to jerk on it. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been here. Wasn’t sure how long he had been there. He wasn’t sure how long Patrick had been gone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Whimpering when the metal wouldn’t give.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Don’t worry, Chee I’m back.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Patrick coming closer to him as Richie flinched away from his touch. Trying to kick at him as his leg was grabbed. Being pushed against the beam bodily as he struggled wildly. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Patrick pulled Richie away from the beam just to slam him back into it. Richie’s head colliding with it as he cried out sharply. Trying to get away and knowing he’d never be able to.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gasping when Patrick’s hand closed over his throat. Pressure being applied as he felt lips on his neck. Richie felt his eyes burn with tears as he tried to take a deep breath.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Remember, this is the best you’re going to get, Richie. No one likes used goods, you know that. Or you should by now.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Richie, wake up!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And he wondered how true that was. His parents hated him for ruining their lives. Hated him for not being the perfect example of a Tozier. He wished Eddie would love him like he loved the former asthmatic.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You’ll always be alone. Even if Wheezy gives you the time of day it’s because you’re a Tozier. That opens more doors thank you think it does.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He hated Patrick. He hated how the male made him feel. Hated how he felt like he was right.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Rich, please! Wake up!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Feeling heavy against Patrick as the male bit his neck hard. Feeling him suck at the skin as he whimpered. Trying to move his head away.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, you’re safe!”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It’s okay. I’ll always want your used ass.”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Feeling a hand grope his ass as he shut his eyes. How many times could he fail to protect himself before it was enough? What had he done to deserve this?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Patrick’s hand releasing his throat as Richie took a wheezing gasp. His breathing being the sole thing he focused on even as he felt Patrick’s hand on his pants. He hated this feeling; hated knowing that he’d never feel clean ever again after this. Screaming when he felt his pants being shoved down.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Gasping when he felt a sharp sting. Sitting up quickly as he grasped at his chest. Looking around as tears fell from his eyes. Shoving away from the people in front of him. Hitting the floor hard as he scrambled backwards. Hitting the wall hard with his back as he put his head in his hands. Gripping his hair as he felt panic hit him hard.</p><p> </p><p>Taking in each Loser quickly as they started to crowd around him in fear. Feeling his chest tighten and his throat constrict. His fingertips going numb as he felt his breathing falter.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Chee you’re having a panic attack.” Eddie told him, kneeling in front of him, “Try to focus on your breathing. You’re fine and safe. You aren’t there anymore! You’re here with us, with your friends. You’re safe.”</p><p> </p><p>Putting one of Richie’s hands on his chest as he put a hand on Richie’s chest. Trying to get the male to look him in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Babe, look at me.” Eddie said strongly, “Look at me, Rich. Match my breathing okay? I promsie you that you’re safe.”</p><p> </p><p>Stan going to Richie’s other wise and doing the same thing as Eddie. Matching Eddie’s breathing to help Richie. The tears running down Richie’s face pulled at Eddie’s heart in the worst way. There was pure fear and terror on his boyfriend’s face and he didn’t know what to do.</p><p> </p><p>Richie trying to match their breathing. Trying to fight through the fog of the panic attack as he gripped onto their shirts tightly. Taking a deep breath finally as he swallowed hard.</p><p> </p><p>“There he is.” Eddie smiled shakily, “Come back to us, Rich.”</p><p> </p><p>“W-What happened?” Richie asked slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“You were having a nightmare.” Stan said, pushing some of Richie’s hair out of his face, “You woke us up because you started screaming. It was pretty...intense.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m...so sorry you guys.” Richie told them, “T-Typically if I think I’m going to...have a nightmare I go to my room or away from you guys. I didn’t think I was going to. B-Because Patricks’ dead..and I—I don’t...I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t apologize.” Bill said, “Richie, you’ve been through something t-traumatic. T-There’s always going to be fall out from it. Nightmares are your mind’s way of coping.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I woke you guys up.” Richie said softly, “And I—I’m so sorry you guys. I’m sorry for being a burden.”</p><p> </p><p>“You aren’t a burden.” Mike said incredulously, “You’re our best friend, Richie. Bill’s right this is your mind’s way of coping with what happened. We don’t love you any less. We love you so much more than you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’d rather you have nightmares with us here so we can’t comfort you than not.” Ben told him gently, “And if you have nightmares don’t just suffer in silence, tell us and we can help you. We want to help you.”</p><p> </p><p>“We love you, Rich.” Beverly said, kissing his forehead, “Don’t hide this shit from us. We can’t help you get better and get back to how it was if you don’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“So tell us about the nightmare.” Eddie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t a nightmare as much as it was a memory.” Richie said quietly, “And I just...I was hanging on a beam in that warehouse. It was easier for Patrick to get me to do shit. I couldn’t struggle as much and my feet didn’t touch the floor. So I tried to get leverage against the beam but I couldn’t manage that either because I kept slipping. It was the fucking worst. I thought because he was dead...that I just wouldn’t have a nightmare tonight. And I know that’s fucking stupid. Trust me, I get that it is. But I just...hoped I could have a night of decent sleep. I haven’t been able to have a full night sleep in so fucking long. And I don’t even want to try to sleep now. I’m just going to have another nightmare.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on.” Eddie said, holding Richie’s hands, “Come with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eds-”</p><p> </p><p>“Take a deep breath and come with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie frowned as he let Eddie pull him off the floor. Letting his boyfriend lead him back to the fort. They had set up air mattresses under it for them all to basically cuddle in to. Eddie laying him in the middle and going to his left. Stan laying to his right with Beverly right behind Stanley. Bill going on the other side of Eddie. Mike going behind Bill and Ben going behind Beverly.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve got you okay? Anyone that wants to hurt you has to get through us first.” Eddie said softly, “You’re safe, Chee.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie-”</p><p> </p><p>“I promise you that you’re safe.” Eddie stressed, “Patrick is dead. We’ll handle the rest of his team when we get back from vacation. A vacation, by the way, that you’re going to love. We’ll get packed tomorrow and head there. You’re going to love it. We’ll relax and bond. We’ll help you heal, Richie. We’ll make sure you’ll get better. That’s our promise to you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie buried his face in Eddie’s chest. His friends holding him as he shook. He felt like he was flying apart at the seams. Feeling Stan’s arms tighten around him as he let out a shaky breath.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll protect you.” Stan whispered in Richie’s ear, “You can sleep and you’ll be fine, Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Guys.” Richie said softly, “I’m scared.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can be scared.” Bill said, “It’s human to be scared. We love you, Richie. We’ll take care of you. We’ll protect you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s eyes fluttered shut as they all waited to hear him start to breathe easier. Falling asleep in their hold. Eddie’s arms tightened around him as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>He could see Stan was still awake from where he was laying. Beverly’s hands spasming from anger. When he was sure Richie was asleep he spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“When we go to the house we’re renting, we’re making a fort like this one. If we have to sleep like this for two weeks to get him comfortable again to sleep we will.” Eddie told them, “I wish we could kill Patrick again.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think we all wish we could.” Ben told him, “I’ve never seen Richie like this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Neither have I.” Stan said, “And I’ve actually seen some of his nightmares before. It was never like that though. Where he was genuinely terrified.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think...he had a dream about...um...<em>that</em>? Maybe the times you saw were from when he was being tortured not ra...not raped.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie squeezed Richie a little tighter at the word. Laying a gentle kiss on Richie’s temple when the male groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate this.” Beverly said, “I hate not knowing how to help him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think this is helping.” Stan said, “Us being here and holding him. If he knows he’s safe maybe that will be enough.”</p><p> </p><p>“It has to. I don’t know what else we can do.”</p><p> </p><p>“We can lock down the house we’re staying at. I can go now and set it up.” Ben told them, “It wouldn’t take too long-”</p><p> </p><p>“Do it when we wake up.” Eddie said, “I don’t want you to leave right now. Richie needs all of us. Lucky seven just like its always been.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben nodded his head as he lowered his head. Richie shuddered in their arms as Eddie laid down fully. Kissing the back of Richie’s neck and feeling him calm down. Each of their eyes drifting shut with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>--------<br/><br/>Richie’s eyes opened slowly as he took in his surroundings. He was sandwiched in between Eddie and Stan. Beverly’s red hair peeking out in between Stan’s curls. He stared at them for a moment before realizing the others were gone.</p><p> </p><p>Richie untangling himself carefully so he wouldn’t wake them up. They only shfited closer to one another. Going into the kitchen and pouring himself a glass of water. Seeing the note on the refrigerator. Bill, Mike and Ben had gone ahead to the house they were using the next three weeks. Richie frowned as he went back to the living room.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly and Stan sitting up as they started to wake up. Eddie opening his eyes and smiling at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“How’d you sleep?”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t have another nightmare.” Richie said, “I’m so sorry you guys got woken up by that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t apologize.” Stan told him, “You can’t help it. Did the others head out already?”</p><p> </p><p>“They did.” Richie said, “Something about a house we’re using?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going to the beach for three weeks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which one?”</p><p> </p><p>“The Hamptons.” Eddie told him, “We can infiltrate a bunch of parties and just relax.”</p><p> </p><p>“You want to go to rich bitch beach?” Richie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“We always said we wanted to. We rented a beach house with a private beach. We figured it would be awesome to have our own little secret area.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m down.” Richie said, “When do you guys want to leave?”</p><p> </p><p>“Probably in an hour? Let us all get showered and we can grab food on the way.” Beverly told him.</p><p> </p><p>“We have to pack-”</p><p> </p><p>“Rich, I already packed for us.” Eddie said, “I did it the first day you were handling Patrick.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh...thanks Eddie.” Richie smiled, as Eddie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t doing anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“So Stan will take the guest shower and I’ll take yours Eddie.” Beverly said, “Ten minutes each. No funny business.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie winced, not seeing Beverly frown at him as he messed with his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>He sat on the air mattress as Beverly and Stan left the room. Eddie moved to sit next to him with a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Rich, can we talk?” Eddie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“We talked about moving in together but because of the last mission we kind of...haven’t discussexd it again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ball is in your court, Eds.” Richie said, “Do you want to deal with what happened last night again?I wouldn’t blame you if the answer was no.”</p><p> </p><p>“I want to.” Eddie told him gently, “I want to be there for you, Richie. I want to help you through the good times and the bad. Move in with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Eddie and then down at his hands again. Eddie pushing some of the black curls from his face.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“How can you even stand to look at me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Easily.” Eddie said, taking hold of Richie’s hands, “You’re still the same person you were before Richie. Still the person I’m in love with. Patrick didn’t change anything except how fast I’ll take things in the bedroom. Because <em>that</em> is your court. That’s your entire court, babe. I’m not going to push you into something you don’t want. But I want you to know that you’re it for me, Richie. No one else does it for me. You’re perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt his eyes burn as he exhaled loudly.</p><p> </p><p>“And you’re okay with dealing with my shitty self esteem?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie shrugged, “It isn’t a chore, Richie. I know what I want and it’s you. It has always been you.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie smiled at him, “I just don’t want you to wake up five years from now and regret this. Or worse hate me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m telling you, four hundred million percent that I’m not capable of regretting or hating anything concerning you, Richie Tozier. I love you, so stop doubting this. Come on, follow me.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie letting Eddie pull him off the air mattress. Being led down the hallway to the bedroom. Letting Eddie push him onto the bed with a gentle smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, you left some shirts over here. Which would you prefer to wear?” Eddie asked, pulling out the shirts in question.</p><p> </p><p>There was a black long sleeved shirt, a blue t-shirt and a red button up.</p><p> </p><p>“The black shirt.” Richie said, “Did I leave jeans here?”</p><p> </p><p>“You did.” Eddie said, pulling out a pair of blue jeans and socks, “So-”</p><p> </p><p>Gasping when Richie pulled Eddie into a hug. Holding the male tightly as he laid his forehead on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie returning the hug as he squeezed Richie tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you.” Richie told him, “Thank you for loving me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t thank me for something that is so fucking easy for me, Richie.” Eddie told him, “Now, we’ve got a shit ton of clubs that we’ve scoped out that we’re going to. It’ll be really fun, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t doubt the vacations you guys plan for us.” Richie said, “I usually always have a lot of fun on them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes well, we planned this one specifically for fun. There’s going to be a lot of nights where we’ll chill at the beach house but the ones that we aren’t will be spent out.” Eddie smiled, “Plus we said we wanted to go to the beach forever ago just to swim.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s going to be freezing though, Eds.”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a heated swimming pool.” Eddie said, “For the days that are actually cold.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh well that’s a little better.” Richie said, his hands going to Eddie’s hips, “A hot tub?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. To help us all relax.” Eddie smiled, nuzzling under Richie’s jaw, “We thought of everything, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay...” Richie trailed off, as Eddie’s hands caressed up his side.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys, we’re done.” Beverly called to them, as Eddie tilted his head at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Rich. Let’s get showered so we can get going.” Eddie said, pulling away from the hold regretfully.</p><p> </p><p>Richie grabbed his clothes slowly before going to the guest bathroom. Taking deep breaths as he fought the panic that kept wanting to set in as he kept doubting himself. Doubting the fact that Eddie could still love him given how fucking damaged he was. Knowing that the male would get bored eventually if Richie couldn’t have sex with him. Knew that if he couldn’t get the courage up he’d leave. It was nice to say that he wouldn’t but...they were in their twenties. He knew how sex crazy the rest of the Losers were. Eddie couldn't deny he didn't want to have sex. Richie remembered feeling how hard the male would get when they'd make out.</p><p> </p><p>Making himself a promise that he wouldn’t let Eddie get bored of him. Especially not during their vacation. It would be the seven of them for three weeks. He could get himself there. He hoped to every deity he knew of that he could.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Chapter 42</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The beach house is beautiful; Richie thinks about a lot of things.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The beach house was beautiful in Richie’s opinion. When they’d arrived two days ago Ben, Bill and Mike had met them outside. Helping them with their bags inside. It was two stories and the place was bigger than Richie thought it’d be. The others insisted on sharing a fort like they did at home. Richie being placed in between Eddie and Stan. It made him feel safe feeling them holding him and being able to smell Beverly’s shampoo and Ben’s cologne. Seeing Bill’s hair and feeling Mike’s hand on his hip. It made him feel calmer than he had in a while.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling Eddie nuzzle into his chest as he woke up slowly. He hadn’t had a nightmare since the other night so it made him feel a little better in his own skin.</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved out of the throng of bodies slowly so he wouldn’t wake anyone up. Watching as they all shimmied closer together to make up for the lost heat. He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as he ordered food for them on his phone. Selecting a ton of items he knew they’d all eat.</p><p> </p><p>Putting his phone down and resting his head in his hands. Last night they’d all decided to go clubbing tonight. Richie had some anxiety about it but everyone else was so excited about it that he didn’t want to say anything about it.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie wanting to go had cemented that he would suck it up and go. All he could think of was Patrick telling him that Eddie would get bored of him if he got dull. And he hated thinking about that because he didn’t want to believe it. But he couldn’t stop himself from thinking it was true. Because why else would Eddie want him?</p><p> </p><p>Feeling arms circle around his waist; a head against his back as he tensed for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just me.” Eddie muttered, feeling Richie relax, “Come back to the fort.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was ordering us some food. We still haven’t gone to the store yet and we need to.” Richie said, “I could make us dinner tonight before we leave.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fine, we can do that.” Eddie muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Richie said softly.</p><p> </p><p>“You okay? Did you have a nightmare?” Eddie asked, helping Richie turn around so he could look at him, “You should’ve woken one of us up-”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t.” Richie said, “I’m fine, Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>Kissing the shorter male gently; feeling him melt against him as Richie’s arms went around his waist and pulled him close. Feeling the soft groan that escaped him as he pulled away slowly.</p><p> </p><p>Watching Eddie’s eyes flutter open with a soft smile.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that for?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I love you.” Richie told him, “You’re amazing.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are too, Richie.” Eddie said softly, playing with the hem of Richie’s shirt, “What did you get for breakfast?”</p><p> </p><p>“So many things.” Richie laughed softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Like what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Waffles, pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, toast and I got those muffins that Beverly lieks a lot. Oh and doughnuts for Mike and Bill.” Richie told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Dear goodness, we’re feasting.” Eddie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“I figured it’d be nice to have variety.” Richie said, running a hand up and down his side.</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be very nice.” Eddie said, nosing under Richie’s jawline.</p><p> </p><p>Richie let his eyes fall shut with a sigh. Leaning into it as Eddie giggled gently.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to shower.” Richie told Eddie, “We need to get started on that otherwise we won’t leave the house to go to the store until like...five. Or I can go to the store when I get done and you guys can help me bring it all in.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to. I’ll go with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to.” Richie said, “I can do it just fine. Plus it’ll give you guys time to eat and shower.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie frowned, “You don’t have to do everything Richie.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know I don’t, it’s fine.” Richie smiled, “I’ll be back beofre you know it.”</p><p> </p><p>Pulling away as Eddie watched him.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Eddie asked, “I can come with you, babe.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you can, but you shouldn’t have to.” Richie told him, “I’ll be back soon.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie moved to the stairs and went upstairs. He’d take a quick shower when he got back. He grabbed his wallet and keys. Heading downstairs as Eddie and Stan brought the breakfast in. The others waking up slowly as Richie passed them.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be back in about an hour.” Richie said, “Maybe later.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where are you going?” Stan asked, “We just got food.”</p><p> </p><p>“To the grocery store so that way we aren’t eating out this whole trip.” Richie said, “Text me anything you want.”</p><p> </p><p>“But you can eat.” Stan said, frowning.</p><p> </p><p>“I will when I get back. I’ll take a shower when I get home. I’ll get all sweaty and shit by the time I get home.” Richie told them, “I’ll be back.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie went to Mike’s car and slid in. Backing up and going down the driveway to head to town. He wasn’t even sure what he was going to wear that night to go clubbing. He knew which clothes Eddie liked him in. He could go based off of that?</p><p> </p><p>Sighing as he shook his head just slightly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He’ll ditch you when he gets bored. The Tozier name only helps <b>so </b>much.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.” Richie said softly, “I’ve been best friends with Eddie for nineteen years. And that was before he knew what the fuck my family did. He loved me regardless of that fucking name. He loves me.”</p><p> </p><p>Ever since the last time he’d had a nightmare he’d had a fucking Patrick voice just...fucking doubting everything Eddie did and it was killing him.</p><p> </p><p>It probably would have been better if he’d snuffed the light out of Patrick’s eyes himself but he had to be fucking noble.</p><p> </p><p>Rubbing a hand on his face as he drove. It didn’t stop the small seed in his mind that doubted himself. That made him want to push himself so he could be who Eddie needed him to be. He just didn’t know what to do to get himself there.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling into the parking lot to the store and getting out. Getting Beverly’s text as well as one from Stan.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stan:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So you’re actually going to eat when you get back right?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He rolled his eyes and tossed things in the cart. Making his way down each aisle and thinking of meals they could make as he did so. Knowing that he, Ben and Mike were the only ones that cooked in all actuality. Eddie could boil water but he burnt Easy Mac. Beverly could make mashed potatoes but not much else. Bill and Stan on the other hand were not allowed in the kitchen because they’d tried that once and it’d ended in so much inedible food that Richie had just tossed it and ordered food for all of them.</p><p> </p><p>Richie just mindlessly grabbed snacks and checked out. Putting things in the trunk of the car and backseat when he realized he’d bought maybe <em>too</em> much food.</p><p> </p><p>His phone ringing as he looked at it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hey so Eddie, Beverly, Ben and Mike have had their showers. I just got done with mine so it’s just you and Bill. We also went ahead and figured out what club we’re going to tonight.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He tossed his phone in the passenger seat and sighed softly. He didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t want to go clubbing but he knew the others did. And after all they’d done for him he’d suck it up and go.</p><p> </p><p>The drive back to their beach house went by faster than the drive to the store. Then again, Richie recognized where he was going. Sending a message to the group chat as he pulled up. Richie watched the door open as the others came out to help bring the groceries in.</p><p> </p><p>He slid out of the car and started grabbing groceries. Turning and starting for the house before being stopped by Ben who took the bags from him.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, go ahead and go take your shower. We can get the groceries inside.” Ben smiled at him, “Stan should be finishing up so you can use the rest of the hot water if you want.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure? I can-”</p><p> </p><p>“Go relax for a little bit and when you get out you can eat while we figure out what to watch. Just chill before we go clubbing.” Ben said, smiling at him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded his head as he moved around the male and went inside. Making his way to the bathroom to shower and hopefully be able to shake the discomfort of the thought of going clubbing. Richie hated the idea of dancing and drinking somewhere they weren’t familiar with. At least at home they had the comfort of knowing that they had someone who would watch their back.</p><p> </p><p>Turning the hot water on all the way before stepping under the spray. Turning the cold water on just a little as he let the water rush over him.</p><p> </p><p>He could wear the nice dark blue jeans that he knew Eddie loved. He could pair it with the black tshirt and the red leather jacket. They were all things he knew he looked good in.</p><p> </p><p>Rinsing the soap off before sitting on the floor of the tub. Putting his head in his hands as he took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>He stared at the drain and wondered how he was going to get through the night. His skin was crawling in the worst way possible. Grabbing the soap and scrubbing at his skin. Feeling dirty for the first time in almost two months. Hadn’t had to have this kind of shower in that long either.</p><p> </p><p>Groaning softly as he fisted the soap bar by his head before letting it drop from his fingers. Taking a deep breath as he tried to remember breathing exercises from his therapist. He did <em>not</em> want to have a panic attack in the fucking bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>His breathing was shaky; his heart felt like it was pounding against his chest. Fingertips slowly but surely going numb.</p><p> </p><p>His nails dug into the palms of his hands as he forced himself to take a large breath. And let himself focus on things he could hear, feel, taste, see and smell.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick Hockstetter was dead.</p><p> </p><p>Richie Tozier was safe.</p><p> </p><p>Those were the fucking facts as of four days ago.</p><p> </p><p>“Babe, are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie opened his mouth to respond to Eddie before the words died on his tongue. He wanted to say something to him...wanted to reassure the male.</p><p> </p><p>“Chee? Answer me please!” Eddie told him, “You’ve been in there a while.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie wondered how long. Usually he took quick ten minute showers. He wasn’t one for lingering unless it was like this...one of these fucking showers that were supposed to make him feel better but never did.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, baby...please say something.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” Richie muttered, before saying louder, “I’m fine!”</p><p> </p><p>“May I come in?” Eddie asked, the worry in his voice not leaving.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Richie said, standing up and grabbing a towel.</p><p> </p><p>He turned the shower off as Eddie opened the door.</p><p> </p><p>Richie watched Eddie look him over with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...I’m fine. I’m just...it’s a bad day.” Richie said slowly.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared at him before taking a deep breath and nodding.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll let you get dressed.” Eddie said, “Come down when you’re ready?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie left without another word and it confused Richie. Going into the bedroom and starting to get dressed in the clothes he’d decided on. Fixing his jacket as he looked at himself in the mirror. Taking in the clothes on him as well as the way his hair looked. Pushing down on it with a sigh before it sprung back up.</p><p> </p><p>What he’d give to have Bill’s straight hair right about now.</p><p> </p><p>Going downstairs and freezing when he saw his friends all look at him. He put his hands up with a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys went really quiet.” Richie said, as he went to sit next to Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“We were talking and decided it might not be a good idea to go clubbing tonight.” Beverly said, “We can have a party here. Blast the music as loud as we want. Make our own little club.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie opened and shut his mouth with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys were excited to go though.” Richie said, “Why the change of heart?”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie and Beverly shared a look before Stan cleared his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re obviously having a bad day today, Rich.” Stan said bluntly, “You’re on edge and quiet. So we can move clubbing to another night when you’re feeling more like it. We aren’t going to force you to do something you are uncomfortable with.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie sighed, “I’m okay to go guys. It’s just been a really insane week. I’m—”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t lie to us.” Mike said, “Please.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at each of his friends before feeling Eddie’s hand enter his firmly.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right, I’m not having a good day. I honestly feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. I thought with Patrick gone everything would be okay. That nightmares and flashbacks wouldn’t matter so much because I’d have the peace of mind knowing he was dead. But I can’t shake it. I can’t shake the nightmares and flashbacks. What he says and does in them. I fucking hate it so much.” Richie said, taking his hand from Eddie, “The thought of being somewhere that we aren’t familiar with...with people we don’t know...it makes me want to throw up. I’m sure it’s just a gut reaction to the trauma. At least that’s what I’m hoping for. I was going to call my therapist before we went.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And now you’re dragging them down with you. Called it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s eyes shut tightly as he took a deep breath. Trying to get rid of the Patrick sounding voice in his head.</p><p> </p><p>“If it makes you that uncomfortable we won’t go. We’d rather you be comfortable and have fun. And we can all still have fun here.” Eddie said smiling, “I swear to you that we don’t mind it one bit. When are you going to realize you matter to us, Richie? Don’t just suffer in silence.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie stared at Eddie and nodded his head. Agreeing to what his boyfriend said as he retook the male’s hand and squeezed it tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“So answer us honestly, do you want to go c-clubbing tonight?” Bill asked.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at Eddie before turning to Bill.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t feel comfortable going tonight.” Richie told them, “Maybe in a few more days?”</p><p> </p><p>“Then the subject is tabled until a few days from now.” Stan said, “Now, I’m going to grab your plate of food and we’re going to start watching some movies.”</p><p> </p><p>“Grab the snacks too!” Mike called after him, as Ben stood up, “Ben, are you-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll grab them.” Ben laughed.</p><p> </p><p>Richie let Eddie shed him of his jacket. Watched it being tossed over the back of the couch before he finally relaxed into his boyfriend. Letting Eddie hold him gently as he felt a kiss on his temple. Letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding as he sunk into the cushions. Letting Eddie guide his head to his shoulder as he was given his plate that had been heated up. Stan lifting his legs gently before sitting down. The male’s arms going over Richie’s legs so the tall male could relax on the couch. The pressure from both Eddie and Stan keeping him calm as he ate a few bites of food.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling safe for the first time in weeks.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>